Capsize
by Ducky-san
Summary: After the sudden death of her father, Mikan is hunted by an organization that she knows nothing about. Natsume is the jerk in charge of protecting her.
1. Way Down We Go

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice

* * *

 _'Cause they will run you down, down til the dark  
_ _Yes and they will run you down, down til you fall  
_ _And they will run you down, down til you go,  
_ _Yeah so you can't crawl no more  
_ _And way down we go_

-Way Down We Go  
Kaleo

"Are you actually going to drink it this time?"

Pulled out of my stupor, I looked up at the man across from me. Middle-aged, pot-bellied, and with a permanent sour look on his face. I didn't blame him; bartending in a loud night club and bar probably wasn't exactly fulfilling. Besides, despite that sour look, he was my only friend. What had become of my life that my only friend was a bartender of a loud nightclub and bar old enough to be my father was a whole other issue.

Silently, my gaze dropped back down to the short square glass on the counter. Straight whiskey, the cheapest they had. I'd never had whiskey before—it's not exactly the drink of choice for teenagers at high school parties. I wasn't even legally allowed to drink, but Gary—the bartender and my only friend—didn't know that, thanks to my very legitimate-looking fake ID.

It had become routine. Once or twice a week, when the grief got too heavy, I would make my way to the grungy nightclub where the music was loud and there were too many people for me to stand out and order a whiskey on the rocks. And then I would stare at it, sometimes until the ice had melted, and then I would go to my room at the grungy hotel across the street from the grungy nightclub and try to sleep.

I sighed and pushed the glass towards him. "All yours," I said, loud enough for him to hear me over the loud music.

He eyed me, the concern he'd adopted over the last couple of weeks hidden behind a calculating stare. "What are you doing here, kid?"

"I told you. I'm keeping a low profile. I'm on the FBI's most wanted list for defrauding thousands of people."

"Last week you were a murderer, the week before that an elusive bank robber."

"I'm a woman of many talents."

His eyes locked on something behind me. He made a face and then wandered far enough away to give me privacy but not far enough that he couldn't intervene if I needed it.

A drunk man threw his arm over my shoulders. I tensed, even though Gary's look had had me expecting it. "What's a pretty thing like you doing here by yourself?" the man slurred in my ear.

I shrugged him off, hoping my eyes communicated my disinterest. "Drinking. Alone."

"Don't you want some company?"

"No."

Either he hadn't heard me, or he was too drunk to care, because he continued to stare at me like I was about to change my mind. When I turned back to the bar, he bristled. Gary stepped in before the man could say another word, and told him to get lost unless he wanted to be kicked out.

"Thanks, Gary," I said with a smile, taking the glass of water he offered me. He started to take the whiskey, too, but left it.

"He's right, sweetheart. This isn't the place for someone like you."

I looked around at the people dancing around me, at the alcohol sloshing on the floor and the lights throbbing brightly. "This is exactly the place."

Those had been the instructions; take the fake ID and money and all the documents in the bag and disappear. Don't stay in one place too long, be in crowds as often as possible, and question everything.

Gary left me to take care of the man who'd taken a seat a few stools down from me. I recognized him from the last time I'd been here. It was hard not to, with his dark hair and angular jaw and the bands of muscles snaking down his arms. When I'd seen him here the week before, my jaw had nearly dropped, certain he'd walked straight off the cover of a magazine.

He had a forlorn look on his face, and he sat at the bar silently drinking something strong from a glass much like the one in front of me. Maybe he was drinking whiskey, too. It humored me when drunk girls stumbled up to him and tried to get his number—because, as I said, he looked like a god—and he literally did not acknowledge them at all. It was like he couldn't even see or hear them.

Gary shared a view words with Godly Man as he handed him his drink, his eyes briefly flickering to me. I snapped my gaze to the water glass in front of me before Godly Man could catch me drooling.

"Who's that?" I asked casually when Gary came back to me after pouring a couple other drinks for patrons.

He started to answer, but once again his eyes caught something behind me. This time, when he looked at me, he was somber. "You gotta do me a favour, honey."

"Anything for you, Gary." I said it sarcastically, but I kind of meant it. He really was my only friend.

He leaned across the bar. "Go back to your hotel. Take the emergency exit behind the bar. Do not look around, do not make a scene. Just get up, and walk straight out that door."

When I started to defy him because of the burning curiosity, he reached across the bar and gently grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at his gentle wrinkles and sincere concern. "I mean it, sweetheart. Straight to your room."

I frowned, sliding off the bar stool. "Alright, bossy-pants."

"One more thing," he said before I walked away. "Stay away from that whiskey. You don't need it."

I shot him a smile. "Good night, old man."

His smile made his eyes crinkle, and as I walked away, forcing myself not to look towards the main entrance of the club and trying not to panic, I wondered why he didn't do it more often.

I glanced back at the bar only briefly, for one last look at Godly Man before I left, but he was already gone, his glass still half-full on the bar. Assuming he'd been dragged off by a pretty girl after all, I shrugged it off and exited through the door Gary had directed me to.

The night was warm, and the silence of the dark alley was welcome as the door shut behind me. I walked briskly across the street and into the little hotel that was usually teeming with drunk or homeless people. Tonight, it was eerily quiet.

I took the elevator up to my floor. I didn't question Gary, mostly because I was past the point of caring. And I'd learned to stop asking questions long ago.

I pulled my key card from the pocket of my faux leather jacket, looking forward falling into the surprisingly soft bed the hotel offered. My dad must have recommended it for that purpose, since it was pretty unremarkable otherwise.

I hadn't even closed the door yet when a gloved hand clamped down over my mouth and a strong arm reeled me in against a rock solid body, shattering my dreams of a peaceful night's sleep.

Panic surged through me, and in a blind attempt at freeing myself, I lifted my legs up and pushed my feet against the closed door, hoping to knock my captor off balance. But it was like trying to move a mountain, and I soon found he didn't appreciate my attempts when a deep, husky voice whispered, "Stop struggling or I'll break your neck."

Was I terrified? Yes. Was that going to stop me from struggling? The way I saw it, I was dead either way. I stomped hard on his toes, spinning away from him when he inhaled sharply and loosened his grip. I stumbled forward, knocking a lamp off the night stand at the same time that I pulled the drawer open and found my handgun.

The man was smirking at me when I turned back around. Impressed, maybe? Or, more likely than not, amused that I'd had the gall to stomp on his foot after he threatened to break my neck and then point a gun at him

I, on the other hand, couldn't help my mouth from falling open slightly, for I found myself staring at the face of Godly Man who, if it was even possible, was even godlier in the light of the room.

"They say not to point a gun at someone if you're not prepared to shoot them," he said, his voice a deep tremor that sent chills down my spine.

Before responding, I took a few moments to decide if I'd somehow landed on the set of a movie and if I was now standing facing the lead. He fit the profile of the attractive protagonist; I knew I would drop cash to see a movie he was starring in. "Who says I'm not prepared to shoot you?" I answered when I found my voice.

"You would have done it already."

While I contemplated whether that was true, voices in the hallway brought me back to reality. I wasn't initially concerned about the other voices, in fact considering yelling for help, but a look from Godly Man and the fact that Gary had seemed familiar with this guy gave me pause.

Before I could slow my racing mind down enough to think of a plan, the phone behind me rang to life. I jumped half a foot in the air in surprise, and then glanced at Godly Man for any indication of whether or not it was a bomb or something.

"Don't answer it," he said, so of course I answered it.

"Time to go, sweetheart," Gary said on the other end of the phone. There was no music in the background, leading me to believe he was no longer at the bar. "You take care of yourself."

"Gary-" I protested, but was cut off by the click of the phone as he hung up.

Godly Man looked at the closed door, then back at me, where I stood staring at the phone in my hand with my mouth agape, trying to fend off the panic rising in my chest for a little bit longer. He pressed his finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet, and probably hoping I didn't do the opposite again.

The voices at the door passed.

"What the hell is going on?" I whispered aggressively.

Godly Man nodded at the closed door. "They're here for you. I'm here to get you out."

"And you expect me to believe the guy who threatened to break my neck two minutes ago?"

The smirk was back, and as much as it infuriated me, the fact that this man who claimed he was here to help me was not concerned by the men who were apparently out to get me gave me some measure of comfort.

"Do you have any other options?"

"I could shoot you and take my chances with them out there." He hadn't asked if I had any _reasonable_ options.

He didn't respond, because the sound of a door busting in down the hallway drew both of our attention to the fact that we were running out of time and I had to decide how to play my cards. Someone in the room screamed, followed by an angry voice saying, "Sit down and shut up." The screaming abruptly stopped.

Pain shot through my palm, like I'd touched a hot stove, and I gasped, dropping the gun in shock. Godly Man had picked it up before I had even blinked, shoving it into the waist of his pants in a gesture that I was surprised to find was nothing short of sexy.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded, glancing at the pink spot on my palm.

"Grab your things," he ordered as he strode to the door to look out the peephole.

My things consisted of a backpack in the corner of the room, already zipped up. All that was left of my life, packed carefully into a backpack that still had room to spare.

He motioned to the closet door that was right beside the door of the room. "Hide. When they're through the door, slip past them."

"That'll never work," I protested even as he pushed me into the closet. "And then what?"

He didn't have a chance to reply. The door exploded open, sending splinters of wood flying as I sunk into the shadows of the closet, the door still open a crack, my heart lodged firmly in my throat.

Two men walked in. One was bald with a very shiny head, and one was quite short and had a malicious look on his face. Both were dressed in remarkably nice suits, and neither was one I had any inclination to confront.

"Natsume," the bald man said, apparently not surprised. "I suppose we should have expected you to be here."

Godly Man—Natsume, as it would seem—had retreated into the room.

"Looks like we're all too late," Natsume said, his voice so calm it nearly reached me. "She got a heads-up."

"You think we believe you, boy?" Baldy demanded, stepping further into the room. He was parallel to the bathroom, nothing between us but air and shadows. "Where did you put her?"

"You could just ask," Natsume replied mildly, and my heart stopped. Had he duped me? Was he cornering me?

I didn't stay to find out. I bolted, slipping past Baldy, colliding with his shoulder, and taking off at a sprint down the hall, leaving the sounds of a struggle behind me. I hadn't reached the stairwell yet when my feet were dragged out from underneath me, my face slamming into the red carpet, sending stars across my vision.

Confused, I rolled onto my back, and decided that I must have given myself brain damage as I watched the extremely long arms retract back towards the short, malicious man, dragging me with them, two hands secured firmly around my ankle. I sat up, still moving across the floor, and tried to pry the fingers from my ankle, still dazed.

Baldy flew out of the open room, knocking Go-Go Gadget Arms off balance enough that his fingers loosened, and I pried free. Natsume emerged from the room, barely breaking a sweat, and I didn't waste any time jumping to my feet.

I heard Baldy yell, "Stop running!" but didn't stop to wonder if he actually thought that would work. I threw myself through the door into the stairwell, barely stopping to register the pain that splintered through my arm, and took the stairs two at a time, swinging myself around on the railings at each landing and plummeting forward, all the while trying to articulate what I was going to do once I got out of here and trying to decide how bad my head damage was.

If I got out of here.

Two more men in black suits were waiting just outside the stairwell door in the lobby. I dodged one, but effectively stumbled right into the hands of the other.

There was no pause. There was no calm before the chaos. I heard the gunshot, and by the time I realized it was a gunshot, the man holding my arm was already collapsing to the ground beside me and screams were erupting through the lobby.

"Keep movin', honey," Gary said, fixing the gun on the other man, who had frozen in place.

I looked at Gary for help, for an explanation, but he just gave me a reassuring smile and nodded in the direction of the exit.

The door to the stairs behind me opened as I ran, and I heard more gunshots. My heart lodged in my throat, but I didn't look back. I hoped the gunshots had come from Gary's gun, but as I flew down the street, all I could picture was Gary lying in a pool of his own blood.

I didn't get far before he found me, and even though I'd half expected him to come after me, and although I was glad it was the apparent good guy that found me and not the obvious bad guys, he scared the crap out of me when he grabbed my arm while I was walking quickly down a backstreet in a shady part of the city.

"You should know better than to sneak up on a girl in a place like this," I snapped, snatching my arm back from the man that looked like a god and was apparently there to help me.

"You should know better than to hang out alone in a place like this," he countered, and I did have to acknowledge he was right.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded, and now that I wasn't focused solely on creating distance between me and the bad guys, emotion tightened my chest. I began to pace. "Why are those guys after me? Why did Gary shoot them? Is Gary-"

"Now isn't the time for a meltdown," he said. "They'll be back. And if I can find you, so can they."

He led me down several blocks and to the doors of a shabby motel that had definitely seen better days. The whole time, I debated whether or not I should get rid of him, but seeing as he hadn't killed me yet, and that he had my gun, I begrudgingly followed him into the motel.

The fat woman at the desk eyed us knowingly as he paid cash for a room for the night. I tried to set her straight, but Natsume snaked his arm around my shoulders suggestively, and I understood that the more normal we looked, the longer we'd be safe.

As soon as we were out of sight of the woman, he lifted his arm and I scampered away from him, shooting him a glare.

"You'd think you'd be a little more grateful for me saving your life," he mused, opening the door of our assigned room.

I stared at the one bed for several seconds before I caught sight of the coffee station in the corner of the room. While Natsume went to examine the window, I hurried to fill the boiler with water, and then sat on the edge of the bed waiting for it to boil.

"A little late for coffee."

"I think I hit my head," I said abruptly, wondering how I could have forgotten about Go-Go Gadget Arms. "That guy at the hotel…"

He glanced over his shoulder. "You weren't seeing things."

The water finished boiling, and I hurriedly poured myself a cup of putrid instant coffee, frustrated when I found that my hands were trembling enough to make me spill hot water on the table.

The tears came eventually. Followed by the gasping sobs. I wanted to call the hotel and ask to speak to Gary, to find out for sure if he was okay. But there had been at least four of those men, and one of him, and I knew the chances weren't good.

I focused on my breathing. Panic attacks had been a new, recent battle for me, and Gary had given me tips on how to come out of it on my own.

 _"Focus on the one thing you can control. Breathe in, out. Slow."_

Natsume surprised me by taking my coffee mug from my shaking hands and setting it on the table before guiding me to the floor with my head between my knees.

When I came down from it, exhaustion hit me like a tidal wave. I continued to sit on the floor, leaning against the bed, suddenly feeling numb.

"Rest," Natsume said. "I'm not going to kill you in your sleep."

I cast him a sidelong glance, and then reached for my coffee mug before settling back into my huddled position on the floor. "How do I know you're the good guy?"

"If I wasn't, you'd be dead."

"They didn't want to kill me. They could have done that easily. So that doesn't mean anything."

A knock on the door caused me to start violently, sloshing coffee all over my hands. I scrambled to my feet, distancing myself from the door, tossed the last of the coffee down my throat, cringing at the taste, and then exhaled slowly.

"Let's do this," I muttered.

Natsume glanced at me, the smirk back, before approaching the door. He looked out the peephole, his hand on the gun in his waistband—super hot—and then pulled the door open.

I dropped to the floor, covering my head.

"She's dramatic," Natsume said to whoever was at the door. "And exhausted."

I lifted my head. Two men walked into the room with Natsume behind them. Only one was wearing a suit. The other was tall and blonde, dressed rather exuberantly, with a gentle smile on his face.

Suit Guy was another story. He had a very harsh expression, and his hair was slicked back with too much gel, and I guessed that the overwhelming waft of cologne came from him.

"Mikan Sakura," Suit Guy said. "We're here to take you into protective custody." I stared at him from my spot on the ground. "As per the request of your father," he added.

My eyes narrowed as I got slowly to my feet, suspicious. "My dad is dead."

Suit Guy nodded solemnly, but was interrupted before he could reply when Natsume said, "You have to go _now_. They'll be here any second."

The man with the soft face approached me cautiously. "My name is Narumi," he said in an unsurprisingly gentle tone. "I'm here to get you to safety, but I need you to trust me."

"I'm not really feeling overwhelmed with trust right now," I admitted.

Shouts came from down the hallway, and Natsume's expression was suddenly fierce. "Knock her out, Narumi."

Narumi opened his jacket and pulled out a small pouch. When the syringe came out, I backed as far away from him as I could, analyzing my chances of escape.

"It's just a sedative," he said gently.

"I just guzzled a coffee to stay awake. I don't want a sedative."

Surrounded by these men I didn't know, who claimed to know my father, while another imminent threat made its way towards us, I suddenly felt overwhelmed, wishing I had my father's intuition and skillset to get me out of this mess.

Natsume cursed, and before I could even register what he was doing, he was on me, pulling the gun out of his waistband, and I was falling into blackness.

* * *

A/N: Hi everyone! I have not posted on Fanfiction in a long time. I originally wrote this story for a different purpose, abandoned it, and then adapted it so that it would fit here. I figured it was written, so I may as well post it somewhere for people to read. However, because it wasn't originally written for Gakuen Alice, there are some differences you'll find in terms of alices and character relationships and such. Also, if you notice a random name here or there, it's because I changed the names from what I had originally had. I think I got them all, but may have missed a few. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this story. Planning on posting updates weekly. Feedback welcome!


	2. Alice

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. The premise behind 'the Organization' was inspired by the TV show _Nikita_ , which I also do not own.

* * *

 _I'm underground, I fell down  
Yeah, I fell down  
I'm freakin' out,  
So where am I now?  
Upside down_

-Alice  
Avril Lavigne

Someone was playing squash on the inside of my head. That was the only explanation I could come up with that would explain the skull-splitting headache that dragged me through layers of unconsciousness.

I blinked against a harsh white light, confused for only a moment before it all came rushing back and I shot upright, half-expecting to find myself tied down.

Fortunately, I lay in a white bed that was free of restraints but was very clearly a hospital bed, which was not very comforting. But it did mean that I was obviously not captured.

I pulled the blankets back and flung my legs over the side of the bed, testing the strength of my limbs while wondering whose pyjamas I was wearing.

Besides the bed, the machines, and the single chair against the far wall, there wasn't much else in the room. Meaning my backpack was nowhere to be found. Nor were the clothes I'd been wearing, which was disappointing because I'd really liked those yoga pants.

I cautiously approached the door, with the intention of finding out which hospital I was at and who had brought me here and what had happened at that grungy motel, but before I could open it, it flew open, sending me stumbling back with a surprised gasp.

"You're up," the first man in the door said, sounding pleased. His cologne triggered the memories of his gelled back hair more than his actual gelled back hair did. Today, I noticed the large wooden cross he wore on a chain around his neck—I wondered if he was trying to be gangster or if he was actually religious.

I increased the distance between us, narrowing my eyes. "Who are you? Why did you bring me here? Where is here? Why were those guys after me?"

He looked equal parts amused and annoyed by my questions. "My name is Reo Mouri. I am the coordinator of protective services at Alice Academy."

"The whoda-whata?" I asked suspiciously.

Before he could respond, another person walked in. I shouted in surprise, pointing an accusing finger at Natsume. "You knocked me out!"

His eyes slid to me, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smirk, before he turned his attention back to Reo Mouri. "You asked for me."

Reo glanced at him over his shoulder. "Yes. Mikan needs to be escorted to the main office."

"Not by him, I don't," I objected. "He knocked me out."

He offered me a small apologetic smile. Really small. "Which is why he'll be taking you. Because you know he can knock you out."

"So I _am_ being held against my will? Dang, this hospital looks so normal."

"It's for your own safety," he assured me. "Mikan, this is Natsume. Natsume, Mikan. We didn't have the luxury of formal introductions earlier. You two best get acquainted."

"I don't really want to acquaint myself with someone who likes to knock me out when I least expect it!" I called after him, but he'd already turned and left the room, leaving just me and Godly Man. A.K.A., Natsume.

He was about my age, maybe a little older than me, a fact that hadn't been obvious in the dim lighting of the hotels we'd been in. And his eyes, I was surprised to find, were so dark that they appeared almost black, and it was as unsettling as it was thrilling.

That was when I remembered I was only wearing a pair of short pyjama shorts and a white T-shirt, both of which did not belong to me. The matter that concerned me was the length of the shorts and the translucence of the shirt.

Natsume noticed me noticing, and his lips turned up in the smallest smile, but all he said was, "Get dressed," before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

I immediately went to the window, praying to be close enough to the ground to make an escape. It definitely would have been possible, given that I was only on the first floor, but the bars on the windows were a problem.

Not much was visible through the window. All I could really see was an expanse of green field, and nothing beyond that. Which was strange. I couldn't think of any hospitals with that much field around them in the city.

Sighing, I looked around the room again. A pile of clothes sat folded on the foot of my bed, the blanket half-covering them, explaining why I hadn't seen them. They weren't the clothes I was wearing when I'd been kidnapped, although they were my clothes. From my backpack. Which was still missing.

I dressed in the clean pair of yoga pants—my on-the-run wardrobe had to be practical, not fashionable—and a plain t-shirt, as well as my black combat boots, before cautiously opening the door into the hallway.

Unfortunately, Natsume was there, leaning against the wall casually and yet somehow managing to appear alert. He didn't turn when I opened the door, so I tried my next best plan of escape: run like mad.

He snatched my arm before I'd even made it past him, clearly expecting that to be my next move.

I pulled my arm back. "Hands off, asshole."

"Then don't try to run away," he said dryly.

"Can you really blame me? How would you feel if you got knocked out and then you woke up in some quacky hospital with some guy with greasy hair blabbing something about _Alice in Wonderland_? Why did you even knock me out? I thought you were supposed to be the good guy."

The hospital was honestly the most normal part about this day. It had regular rooms and regular nurses, but any nurses we passed eyed me like I was something to eat.

And then I realized they weren't looking at me. They were looking at my companion, Godly Man. Well, gawking really.

"Alice Academy," he corrected me. "It's a school."

I eyed him carefully, waiting for elaboration. When I received none, I prompted, "You're going to have to elaborate."

He said nothing as we turned down another hall and headed towards what I could only presume was the exit. Apparently sensing my intentions, Natsume wrapped his warm fingers around my arm.

Outside, one of those stereotypical black SUVs was parked on the road. Well, it didn't really look like a road, more of a cobblestone pathway of some sort that snaked around the building and disappeared.

Past the SUV, there was a small cluster of trees, and then the expanse of field I'd seen from my window. It was dotted with bodies, but I was looking past that, at the tall stone wall beyond. My eyes followed the stone wall out of sight in either direction. My heart seized.

If Natsume noticed, he didn't say anything. In fact, he seemed rather insensitive when he opened the passenger door of the SUV and forced me inside before going around to the driver's side.

"There's a giant wall over there," I stated numbly. Once again, he didn't respond.

The drive wasn't far, and if my dad had taught me anything, I should have been paying great attention to my surroundings. But panic had already set in, and I spent the drive with my face in my hands trying not to hyperventilate.

 _Alice Academy._ Had I heard of that before? Should I have heard of it before? It looked prestigious, from what I'd seen. I mean, it had a fully-equipped hospital on its grounds. But I was fairly certain I didn't know where we were.

"How long was I out for?" I asked suddenly. It had only felt like hours, but…

"Three days," he answered. Finally. An answer. Albeit not the one I wanted to hear.

" _Three days_?" I exclaimed, unaware that he'd stopped driving. Maybe I should have been grateful. It had been weeks since the last time I'd had a full night of sleep, undisturbed by nightmares that had me waking in tears, so three days of sleep should have been a relief. But I had other concerns. "Please don't tell me you shipped me across the country."

"We shipped you across the country."

I exhaled slowly, fighting the bile rising in my throat, the panic tightening my chest. Determined not to have another anxiety attack in front of Natsume, I fixed my stare out the front windshield without seeing anything.

Natsume got out of the vehicle, and when the door closed behind him, the silence enveloped me like water. The kind you drown in.

The passenger door opened, and the water drained from the car, and I remembered how to breathe.

He sighed audibly when I didn't move. "I would have thought Izumi's daughter would have been a little less prone to meltdowns."

"I'm not having a melt-" I started to retort, but stopped short as the air left my lungs once more. Looking up at him, wondering if I'd ever breathe easy again, I pressed my lips together and climbed out of the vehicle.

I followed him up the path to the building we'd stopped in front of. It was old, but architecturally beautiful, made of brick with peaked rooves and large oak doors at the entrance. Inside, we were assaulted by air conditioning, but I was preoccupied with my thoughts and taking in my surroundings that it only vaguely registered that I should be cold.

It looked fairly modern on the inside, with deep red sofas surrounding a fireplace with a wooden coffee table in the middle, covered in magazines. A waiting room, I guessed, before turning my attention to the other side of the room where the tall receptionist desk stood.

The girl behind it wasn't very old and, like the nurses, seemed awestruck when she looked at Natsume. That observation alone had me wondering if I was actually being Punk'd. How could someone actually garner that much attention? Did they know this man that looked like a god went around threatening to break necks?

"You can go right up, Natsume," she said, her voice coming out breathy as she said his name.

He nodded at her once in acknowledgement, which made her appear to melt in her seat. I crinkled my nose at her and continued to follow my guide up a winding staircase.

My heart began to thrum in anticipation. Obviously the fact that I was still alive meant that these guys weren't _all_ bad. And Natsume had said something about a school. What kind of school? And how did my dad have anything to do with it and why hadn't he told me about any of it?

The floor upstairs opened up to a long table, like the kind you'd find in a conference room. On the far side of the room, a door lay cracked open, with two men standing outside. Like bodyguards, or something.

Natsume approached it, barely acknowledging the men, knocking once and not waiting for an answer before entering.

There was a woman behind the desk, a fact that surprised me. I was half expecting a really short, plump guy with a receding hairline and glasses that were too small for his face. Not sure why, exactly, but that was the image in my head.

This woman was nothing of the sort. She was tall, slim, and apparently had great eyesight, judging by her lack of glasses. Unless she wore contacts. Her hair was shoulder length and dark, kept neat and professional, but her smile was warm as she stood.

"Natsume," she said to my companion, and then to me, "Mikan. Welcome."

"Kind of an odd way to welcome someone," I offered. "You know, by kidnapping them."

Natsume cast me a sidelong glance, not necessarily surprised that I'd seemed to find my voice again. Maybe relieved? No, that wasn't the right word either.

She motioned to the two chairs that were placed in front of her desk. Natsume took one, and I reluctantly took the other, my only real reason for compliance being that they knew something about my dad.

"I understand your reservations," she said reasonably. "I only hope you'll hear me out and that you'll understand that the measures we took were necessary for your safety."

I wondered briefly if she knew what the word 'safety' meant, and that it didn't really make a person feel safe when they were sitting next to someone who threatened their life.

"First things first, where are you?" she went on, voicing the question that had been bouncing around inside my head since I'd woken up. "My name is Kaoru Yamada. I'm the headmaster here at Alice Academy." An image of Dumbledore popped into my head. "It's a private academy that offers protective services for its students who are in… _unique_ situations. Like yours."

"So I'm here because I need to be protected," I clarified.

She nodded once. "You were attacked the night that Natsume found you."

"For all I know, this guy," I jabbed my thumb at Natsume, "was the only one doing any attacking. Baldy and Go-Go Gadget Arms didn't show up until after. You all could have been colluding and I'd have no idea."

She cleared her throat and looked down at her hands briefly, which I suspected was her way of covering up the laugh at my use of nicknames. Which effectively made me recall _why_ I'd given those nicknames.

I motioned to my head. "Did someone check my head at the hospital? I think I got a concussion when my skull bounced off the floor."

"You don't have a concussion," Kaoru assured me.

I frowned, recalling the hallway. "His arms were…really long."

Sympathy flashed across her face, though I wasn't sure why. "This is important, Mikan. You _must_ keep an open mind."

I stared at her, waiting for her to continue.

"I mentioned that we offer protective services for students in unique situations. Well, those situations are, nine times out of ten, that the student has a special gift. Go-Go Gadget Arms," She struggled to keep a straight face, "is an embodiment of one of those gifts."

"Gifts." The word stuck on my tongue, difficult for me to spit out. But when I did, the insinuation she was making sunk in, and I barked a laugh. "That's crazy." Neither Kaoru nor Natsume cracked a smile. My own smile began to melt off my face. "You're serious?"

She nodded. "How else would you explain his arms?"

I felt my chest constrict again, like someone was squeezing my heart. "I don't know! A trick of the light? A side effect of not having had a decent night's sleep in weeks? A stress reaction? But a _superpower_? No way."

"Gift," she corrected, smiling wryly. "They are gifts. Called alices."

I stared hard at her for several seconds, waiting for her to crack. When she didn't, I said, "Say, for half a second, I believed you. What does this have to do with me or my dad or who was after me?"

She shook her head. "This is the part that gets a little unclear. How much do you know about your dad's job?"

My dad was the only parent I had any memory of, and despite the fact that he had been my best friend, confidant, and role model, I couldn't deny the secrecy that had surrounded him as far as my memory stretched. I knew he worked for the government, but he never told me what he did. I could only assume he was a spy, based on the fact that when he was home he always slept with a gun on his nightstand, the same gun he'd taught me how to shoot when I turned fourteen, along with all the other spy-ish skills he taught me.

"He worked for the government," I said firmly, hoping my conviction took away from my lack of knowledge.

She nodded again. "Your dad worked for a division of the government that dealt with these alices in the real world. A special ops division, where alices were used to the government's advantage. Some thought this was borderline slavery. Some think that they are above the ungifted, that they are superior, and that we should exploit that. This group has been dubbed 'the Organization'.

"The Organization used to be part of the government division that your dad worked for, but they went rogue when they decided that those with alices should be free to use their alices as they wished. They have leverage against the government—records of every job the Organization has done for the country. Every assassination, every cover-up. Information that would cause an uproar if it got out to the public. Now, the Organization takes out world leaders, causes political unrest in other countries, is trying to build an alice army, and is working as a murder-for-hire service. Their endgame is nothing short of world domination by alice users. They'll take out everyone else if they have to.

"Your father recognized the value of his position in the Organization. He could use it to try to find a way to dismantle them—namely by finding where they kept the records of these jobs. His last message before he died was to us."

"But that would mean my dad was also 'gifted'," I deadpanned, clearly unconvinced. "I think I would have noticed if my dad had Go-Go Gadget arms."

She seemed torn between being annoyed at my interruption and continuing to be amused at my choice of words. Or maybe it was my sense of humour that was throwing her off.

"We'll get to that," she chided me. "What you need to know now is that your father sent us a message the day he died that said he feared the Organization might have obtained information regarding you and that they might be after you."

I tried to imagine the Go-Go Gadget Arms and Baldy as a part of a secret organization meant to overthrow the government, and realized it wasn't a difficult image to summon. However, the thought of them wanting anything to do with me was absurd.

"That's absurd," I communicated. "Why would they be after me?"

"We were hoping you'd shed some light on that," she said dryly. "But clearly, you're as much in the dark as we are.

"Izumi did insist that we wait before bringing you into protective custody. He was holding out on the hope that he was wrong, and that the Organization had no interest in you. He didn't want to drag you into this if there was no reason, which is why Natsume has been keeping an eye on you since the fire. If the Organization didn't make a move in a reasonable timeframe, Izumi wanted us to leave you be, believing that you weren't in any danger. However, since there was an attempt on your life, whatever your dad thought the Organization might want with you is now a reality."

I tried not to let the fact that Natsume had been keeping an eye on me since the fire bother me. Not only was it unsettling to know that I'd been being watched, but it was also disappointing that my evasive manoeuvres had obviously not been very evasive.

Glancing at him, I wondered what he'd seen. How many times had he been at the bar, watching me stare at a glass of whiskey that I would never drink? I couldn't imagine he'd ever been in the bar before the first time I saw him—I would have noticed a face like that.

"Four weeks was the timeline he gave me," I offered numbly.

She didn't seem surprised by this. "What happened the day of the accident, Mikan?"

I'd been trying so hard to keep the memories of that day at bay that letting them in was like tearing down a house I'd been working on building for weeks. My dad's crinkly-eyed smile as I left the house, with something else buried beneath it that I hadn't been able to place. The walk down the driveway to my car, wondering about that something else.

"I was going to the gym," I recalled quietly. "He hugged me before I left. I thought it was odd, but then I remembered that he'd had a tough day at work the night before, so I figured it was more a hug for his sake than it was for mine." I'd been wondering about it ever since. "I got about halfway to the gym before I realized I forgot socks. I was wearing sandals."

Kaoru shifted in her seat, but I kept my eyes fixed on the desk.

"So I turned around. I parked across the street from the house, got out of my car, and then noticed my school bag in the back seat. I saw it through the window. I didn't remember putting it in there, but I figured it might have socks in it." I took a breath. "There were socks. Along with several changes of clothes, a book, and a gun."

The surge of panic that had accompanied the realization that it had been fear hidden under my dad's easy smile was followed by a feeling unlike any I'd ever experienced. It felt as though my soul had ripped in half in the very instant that my house exploded behind me.

"I knew it wasn't an accident." I blinked back tears, finding Kaoru's eyes again. "He knew something was coming. There was a note tucked into the book."

After being taken to the hospital and given a clean bill of health, save for a few minor burns, I gave police my statement that left out the backpack that had been placed in my car and asked politely to be taken back to my house to get my things from my car before they could figure out what to do with me.

Going back to the house had been hard, but it had been necessary. There was nothing left of it, and the two houses on either side had suffered serious damage as well. I didn't scrutinize. Instead, I rooted through the mysterious bag in my car.

Between the pages of _Aesop's Fables,_ on the story of the Sick Lion, was a note. I had memorized the note to the last word.

 _Mikan,_

 _Your reading this means that I have encountered a situation in which I cannot find a way out of. It means that I have done the one thing I have endlessly prayed to avoid for the last seventeen years; I have put your life in danger._

 _You will have a lot of questions. You always do. But the moment you read this, the only thing you must think about is disappearing. In this backpack you will find cash, credit cards, and ID. None of these things can be traced to you. It is inherently important that you move quickly and frequently._

 _If, in a month, you have not encountered any threats against you that you suspect are linked to me, then you can return to school and return to your life. In this scenario, you are safe. I have not compromised you._

 _However, in case this is not the scenario you encounter, I have enclosed a gun. If you feel your life is threatened, use it. Help will come. I have not abandoned you, and I will make sure you're safe. Everything will make sense soon, and just know that I love you more than words could ever convey, and that I am so, so sorry for this._

 _Love,  
_ _Dad_

At the very bottom of the page, also in my dad's handwriting, had been two letters: _A.A._ I had thought that they might be initials, a clue to who would have gone through such great lengths to kill him by blowing up my house, but now I understood.

Alice Academy. My dad's promise to keep me safe. My guess, now, was that he wanted to give me just enough information that it would be useful if I needed it, but just little enough that if I turned out to be safe, I wouldn't have been able to look into Alice Academy and find out what he'd been hiding from me.

On the back of the note, there had been a list of addresses, with a reminder telling me not to stay in one place too long. The addresses were hotels.

Bringing myself back to the office, next to the guy that looked like a god and the woman whose concern was evident on her face, I tried to be strong for him.

"You did an excellent job following those instructions," Kaoru said softly.

I managed half a snort, but my attitude had dwindled considerably. "Apparently not, since this asshole has been following me the entire time." I glanced at Natsume, but he didn't seem moved by my insult.

He wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was trained on the wall behind Kaoru, apparently lost in thought while I lost my footing on the shaky ground beneath me.

"Like I said, your dad wanted us to keep an eye on you. We knew where to look for you, what credit cards to trace, and what name you'd be using. You did a remarkable job, especially for someone who's never received any formal training."

"He never mentioned _why_ I might be in danger," I pressed.

She shook her head. "He didn't mention it to us either. Until we can determine why the Organization is interested in you, you will be staying on campus."

Although this seemed like the best idea, the most reasonable one, the idea of being brought here and held against my will was still not sitting well with me. Kaoru must have been able to see the discontent on my face.

"It's what your father wanted, Mikan," she said, playing her ace. "The school is not only hidden in a remote location and protected by the wall that surrounds it, but you will also be assigned a Protector." With that, her gaze slid to Natsume, then back to me. "Which is why you two need to make an effort to get acquainted."

I stared at her blankly, waiting for her to tell me it was a joke. When she didn't, I turned to look at Natsume. "Why do _you_ have to be my Protector?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew they were stupid. I knew he was capable.

"Natsume is the best," Kaoru answered for him. "Because of the direct attempt on your life, you will be considered a top priority and therefore will be under his watch. If anything is to happen on the school grounds—an attack, perhaps, although that is unlikely—he will be responsible for you."

"Shouldn't I be responsible for myself?" I argued.

"You had a gun, and you didn't use it." Natsume's voice surprised me, mostly because he'd been so quiet for the duration of this talk.

I shot him a glare. "I'm starting to wish I had."

"Enough, you two," Kaoru said firmly, and then turned her gaze back on me. "Fortunately, you were on summer break when the fire happened, so you've only missed a few days of classes. However, regular classes are now in session so you have been placed accordingly. Your first three periods will be reserved for academic studies, while your final period will be reserved for training."

"Training?"

"Other students train their alices. As you don't have one, you'll be engaged in hands-on training."

I nodded slowly, trying to decide if I should think that was cool or not. I was still mostly certain I was going to wake up from a bad dream soon. "By the sounds of it, hand-to-hand combat isn't going to help me much against a bunch of psychos with superpowers."

Her eyes were sympathetic when she said, "It's your best defense in the worst-case scenario. If the Organization thinks you have something they need, they'll utilize their own members' alices to delve into your head and pick apart your thoughts. It can be an excruciating process, and a mind-reading alice used to that extent can be known to cause serious damage. It's not a route we're interested in pursuing."

For a long moment, the sounds around me seemed to swirl away, as if being sucked down a drain. Kaoru's mouth was still moving as she spoke, but her words didn't reach my ears. While my brain attempted to comprehend the load of information it had been supplied, I felt the boot return to my chest.

A popping sound drew me back, and I blinked in surprise at the open can of Sprite being held in front of me.

Kaoru glanced quizzically at Natsume, the provider of the soda.

"She's going into shock," he stated monotonously. "Again."

I took the Sprite, hating that he was right, and took a giant glug from the can before waving Kaoru on, determined to get through this whether it killed me or not.

"As I was saying, your combat classes are to help prepare you for when you graduate. Obviously, you will still be entitled to a level of protection, but it won't be the same as it is here. Hopefully, in your case, the threat will be neutralized by then."

I tossed a glance at Natsume. "Don't tell me he's going to be teaching me the fighting stuff."

Kaoru smiled wryly. "For the most part, yes. Natsume does have his own schedule to adhere to, which also means he won't _always_ be available. In the highly unlikely case of an attack on the school where he is not available, your secondary Protector will be Sumire, one of your roommates."

Inhaling sharply while my mouth was full of soda resulted in a coughing fit and a little bit of the bubbly beverage dripping out of my nose. When the episode passed, I managed to choke out, " _One_ of my roommates?"

"Of all of the information you've been given, news of roommates is going to be the weight that tips the scale?" She shook her head in disbelief, but I liked to think she regarded my taking all of this in stride with amazement. "Sumire and Anna will be your roommates while you're here."

With names like Sumire and Anna, my brain immediately began turning over scenarios in which my roommates were at the top of the food chain which would make me a tasty snack. I'd always been good at sarcasm, sports, and having an attitude, but befriending high school Queen Bees wasn't my forte.

Kaoru was sliding a stack of papers across the desk to me. "We've coordinated with your old school to see what classes you need to graduate and have taken the liberty of designing your schedule. Because of the circumstances, your combat classes will count as your electives."

The first page was my class schedule. Biology, followed by math, followed by English. The thought of doing math again after everything I'd been through, when I'd been completely convinced I'd be on the run for the rest of my life and would never need math again, made my mouth dry.

Flipping to the next page, I found a map. My jaw must have dropped because Kaoru chuckled.

"It's a large campus," she explained. "Probably not something you would have expected until college."

I studied the expanse of buildings laid out in 2D before me, trying to make sense of it all. Natsume had told me I'd been shipped across the country, so it wasn't easy to come to the conclusion that we were probably in the middle of nowhere. The trees I'd been able to see on the far side of that damn wall were a testament to that.

"So no leaving," I said blandly.

Sympathy flickered across her face. I imagined she'd had to deliver this speech to many students who found themselves in situations like mine—although, really, how often could something like this possibly happen?—and I tried not to penalize her for simply doing what my dad had asked. Supposedly, anyway.

"No leaving," she confirmed. "I don't advise you try, either. Not only will Natsume be keeping an eye on you, but the wall is heavily guarded, mainly for the purpose of keeping others out, but also for the purpose of keeping students in. You are here for a reason. Jeopardizing yours or another student's safety is considered a serious offense."

As much as I wanted to argue, the thought of Natsume whispering in my ear the threat to break my neck was still pretty fresh in the back of my mind. I doubted he'd actually do it, especially since these people were supposed to be keeping me safe, but I didn't want to test his other methods of incapacitation.

Kaoru handed me a lanyard with a key attached, as well as an ID card in which they'd used my school picture from the previous school year. I didn't particularly like that picture, but I took it anyway, shoving it into my lap before Natsume could get a glimpse.

"That's your room key. Anna and Sumire should be waiting downstairs for you." Kaoru stood. "They'll fill you in on everything you need to know." She walked around the desk, reaching out to soothingly pat my arm. "We specialize in safety, Mikan, and we take our job very seriously."

I peeked at Natsume, at his stony expression that hadn't changed over the course of the meeting. Not to mention his perpetual silence, which was actually kind of unsettling.

"I believe it," I muttered, and stood. "Will you keep me updated on everything?"

Kaoru motioned to Natsume. "He will."

"But what if I'd rather hear it from you? He's kind of mean."

"I really insist you two get to know each other." She cast a fleeting reprimanding look at Natsume before her gaze settled back on me. "He'll come around, I promise. I know you're full of questions and probably doubt too, but I am confident you'll enjoy it here. As much as you can, given the circumstances."

Natsume started for the door, looking over his shoulder to make sure I was following. I did, until Kaoru called my name.

"Your biology teacher is a licensed psychologist. If you need to talk, he will be happy to lend an ear."

I nodded once, started to leave, then stopped again. "Did you know him? My dad?"

Kaoru smile softly, knowingly. "Yes. I see him in you nearly every time you open your mouth. He was a good man. We'll find who did this to him."

For the sake of my sanity, as well as the state of my heart, I hoped she was right.

* * *

A/N: Hi! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, and thank you for the warm welcome back! I'll use this opportunity to answer some of the questions I've been asked.

What was this story originally written for? For fun! It kind of served a creative outlet for me when I got sick of studying for my degree. The main characters were largely inspired by Natsume and Mikan, because, while I don't watch anime anymore, I really liked those characters. Since it borrowed so many ideas from other sources, there was no way I was going to take steps to publish it, so I just changed the names and put it here, where I felt it belonged.

What inspired me to come back? All of YOU. I got such an amazing response to Before You Hit the Ground that I figured I could post this for anybody who wanted to read it. Otherwise it would just be sitting on my computer.

How do I have the motivation to post weekly? The story is mostly already written, so there's no reason I can't post weekly. I do have a few chapters at the end to write still, and once those are all done, I'll post every couple of days. Weekly updates will just give me the chance to finish the story without making you guys wait for several weeks between updates.

Feedback welcome!


	3. The Mule

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Every truth has two sides; it is well to look at both before we commit ourselves to either_

-The Mule  
Aesop's Fables

I followed Natsume back the way we had come, my feet carrying me steadily while my mind wandered elsewhere.

Kaoru was right about it being a lot of information to take in, and I was sure anyone would feel that way. But for me, the biggest obstacle I found myself trying to scramble over was the fact that my dad had kept such a huge secret from me, and the hurt that accompanied that realization.

My feet hitting the stairs jarred me back to reality. I picked up my pace to catch up to Natsume.

"So you're going to keep me updated on whatever happens with those people who are supposedly trying to kidnap me?"

He glanced briefly over his shoulder as he opened the door at the bottom of the stairs. "Yes."

"Are you going to be nice about it?"

The way his mouth tilted in the hint of an almost-smile seemed characteristic to him, and despite the fact that it wasn't a necessarily friendly gesture, I didn't find myself bothered by it. Probably because he looked like a god.

He didn't give me any other response, and I dropped the subject anyway. We were in the lobby now, and just past Natsume I could see two girls sitting in the plush red sofas I'd seen earlier. And they were everything I'd dreaded.

They looked up from the magazines they were reading at the same time. The one with strawberry blonde hair instantly smiled, while the dark-haired one kept a cool and calculating gaze as she stood.

The strawberry blonde girl bounced over to me, her hazel eyes lit up with excitement and what I hoped was genuine kindness. She had a heart-shaped face, a light shower of freckles across her nose, and was a bit shorter than I was. She was thin, but where I was just skinny she was curvy too. The kind of girl that was popular.

"Hi, Mikan!" she said enthusiastically, pulling me into a hug. "I'm Anna. This is Sumire."

Sumire glanced at Natsume before she looked at me. She gave him a confident smile that was radiant and sexy and alluring…and was met by nothing more than a brief nod in return. If it bothered her, she didn't let it show, instead turning her gaze to me, the smile gone and replaced by an analytical look.

She was taller than Anna, with the kind of frame that you saw on the front page of Sports Illustrated. Her dark hair hung past her shoulders and her skin was bronzed, like she'd spent all summer under the sun. Her hand was so delicate when she offered it to me that I was scared to take it. Or scared of her in general.

I got a lot of things from my dad. My high cheekbones and my angular chin and my thick eyelashes. My long, thick brown hair—arguably my best feature—came from my mom, as well as my thin frame and long legs. And I liked that I had parts of me in both of them, especially now that I had neither, but now I found myself wishing I'd inherited some more vivacious qualities from either of them.

These girls were going to eat me alive.

"You're going to be stuck with us for the next few months," Anna said excitedly. "You look really nervous, but don't worry. Sumire just looks like that sometimes."

Sumire shot her a look. "We just don't get new students often, and we've never had anybody else live with us since we've been here," she explained. She gestured to her face. "I'm going to look like this until I'm convinced you're not a weirdo."

Anna looked past me to Natsume, which I was grateful for because I was paralyzed with fear and beginning to sweat profusely. "We can take her from here, Natsume," she reassured him in her chipper voice. "You can keep an eye on her later."

He nodded once more, cast me a glance that was equal parts annoyance and uncertainty, and then departed through the door.

Anna turned back to me, jabbing her thumb in his direction. "He's a piece of work, hey? Just fair warning, you're going to have girls at your throat because you scored him as a primary Protector."

Sumire slapped her roommate's arm. "Stop freaking her out. Can't you see she's already petrified?"

"I'm fine," I choked out, trying to sound confident. "Just had an overwhelming couple of days. It's nice to meet you guys. I hope I'm not inconveniencing you."

Anna tossed Sumire a smile before linking arms with me. "You're not! We're excited to have you. Besides, we haven't had someone this high-profile in a while!"

I'd already spent most of my conscious time being confused, but the confusion I felt now was particularly unwelcome. Were most people this nice to someone they had just met? I knew this was not how things would have gone with the girls at my old school.

Sumire gave me a little bit of comfort in this respect. She wasn't quite as welcoming as Anna seemed to be, occasionally giving me the side-eye as Anna escorted me out the door and into the warm afternoon. For whatever reason, that made me feel a little bit better.

"Your bag is already in your room," Anna explained as she led the way down the cobblestone path, back the same way I'd come with Natsume in the SUV. "It's all furnished so you don't have to worry about not having much stuff."

Neither of them asked about my apparent lack of belongings, and I didn't bring it up. Despite the brave face I'd been able to put on for Kaoru and Natsume, the memories still hurt deeply to recall, and I was sure they'd been given the down-low on most of it.

"They had us go through some online stores and pick out a bunch of clothes for you," Sumire piped up. "We had to guess what you'd like, so if you hate it, blame the school."

"Thank you," I said, genuinely touched. "That was nice of you guys."

Anna shot me a playful look. "You were worried we were going to be awful, weren't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

We walked for a little while in silence, which I was grateful for because I needed to gawk at the surroundings. Because of my panic attack on the drive over from the infirmary, I hadn't been able to look at much—except for the big-ass wall at the very beginning. Now I was able to look at the expanse of green space with courtyards and trees and gardens and, despite the wall, it was quite beautiful.

"You're not freaking out like we expected," Sumire said casually.

It made sense that they would expect me to be in the fetal position on the ground and hyperventilating or cursing the universe for putting me into this situation, and they didn't need to know that I was doing all of this internally. Their expectation was just another reminder that I should be somewhat proud of how I was handling all this.

"You missed the three meltdowns I already had," I replied, attempting humour.

It worked. They laughed. I felt a little bit better.

"So what do you think of Natsume?" Sumire asked, ignoring the look Anna shot her.

I understood the exchange. It occurred to me that Sumire could be one of the girls at my throat for having Natsume as a Protector. It would explain her hopeful interaction with him back in the office. The thought made the nerves tighten in my stomach again, and fuelled annoyance at the same time. It's not like I'd picked the guy.

I shrugged, forcing myself to act blasé. "He threatened to break my neck. I'm not a fan."

Anna made a choking sound, and when I glanced at her, she was stifling laughter. "Sorry. You must have been being difficult."

"I was in the process of being kidnapped. Of course I was being difficult."

While they both laughed at that, I turned my attention to the building towering before me. It looked like a palace, but with only one towering peak in the center that as home to an ancient-looking clock that still worked, which made me wonder how I'd missed it initially, or why Natsume hadn't pointed it out to me. This building was probably only two floors, but it was crafted beautifully from stone and looked especially ancient surrounded by freshly manicured lawns and courtyards. This seemed to be a center for activity, with students filing in and out of the building in groups.

"This is North American Hogwarts," I decided.

Sumire snickered. "I like her. She's funny."

"That's where classes are held," Anna explained, recovering herself. "That's also where the dining hall is. Dorms are just behind there."

I stared, open-mouthed, as we walked by the palace-like structure, and didn't tear my gaze away until Anna announced that we were at the dorm.

The dorm building was equally exquisite, towering up into the sky much higher than the school building seemed to go. It was stone, and for a moment I was worried it would be horribly outdated. Like no flushing toilets. That was going to be a problem.

My fears were extinguished, however, when Sumire opened the huge mahogany door and motioned me inside, and I started to wonder if I'd ever pick my jaw up off the floor ever again.

It didn't even look stone from the inside. The walls were painted a warm beige colour, with the furniture in the lobby providing burgundy accents. There were several couches and chairs and tables spread out across the first floor, with a tall desk to my far right. Straight ahead, a beautiful stone staircase—the only evidence of the building being composed of stone—led up and twisted out of sight.

"They updated the building, but wanted to keep as much of its original essence as they could," Sumire explained. "They've added an elevator, too, just around that corner, but we're only on the second floor so we don't usually use it."

There was a group of girls sitting in the common area, and although I definitely wasn't paying attention to them, too caught up in everything else, one of them spotted us.

"Sumire! Anna!"

They'd stopped walking, Anna grabbing my arm to stop me too before I could wander dazedly to the stairs.

The girl that approached us probably wasn't taller than five feet, and besides her dark hair, she looked so similar to Anna that I thought they could be sisters. She regarded Sumire and Anna with familiarity and friendliness.

Sumire gave her a half-wave. "Hey, Nonoko. What's up?"

The girl's pixie-like eyes turned to me, and although her smile remained, I could see the underlying analytical look that girls always gave girls they were meeting for the first time. If new students weren't common here, I could see how my arrival could be considered threatening to social order. Not that I wanted any part of that.

"Just wanted to check out your new roommate." She thrust her hand out to me. "I'm Nonoko. I live down the hall from you guys."

Anna rolled her eyes after I'd shaken her hand and told her my name. "You're not checking out our new roommate. You're checking out Natsume's new assignment."

She shot me a devious smile. "Can you blame me? So what can you do, New Girl? What makes you so special?"

"Giver her a break, Nonoko," Sumire said sharply. "She'll tell you what her alice is if she wants to."

She shrugged, obviously disappointed. "Doesn't hurt to ask."

It was equal parts puzzling and expected that Natsume would get this kind of attention. Sure, he looked like he was descended from gods and could fight extremely well and had a husky voice and nice muscles, all things which a girl may consider attractive, but there had to be other attractive boys at this school.

It had been awhile since I'd seen another boy my age, besides Natsume, so I couldn't immediately conjure up an image of someone who didn't pale in comparison to Natsume. Even my ex-boyfriend, whom I'm been crazy about and convinced he was the best-looking guy on the planet, I didn't think compared to Natsume.

Then again, hindsight was always 20/20. He turned out to be a piece of work in the not-so-good sense. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

"Has anybody actually heard him talk?" I wondered aloud.

There was a brief moment of silence as my company absorbed what I was saying. Then Anna burst into another fit of laughter, Sumire covered her smile with her delicate hand, and Nonoko just stared at me in shock.

"Mikan doesn't seem to like Natsume much," Anna explained. "Your biggest competition is still Sumire. For now, anyway. Mikan's had a long day. Bye, Nonoko!"

"'For now?'" Sumire clarified when we were out of earshot of Nonoko, her eyes narrow. "You're my best friend. I thought you were supposed to support me no matter what."

"Yeah, but Mikan is my friend now too, so I have to believe she has a fighting chance if she changes her mind about him, which, let's be honest, she probably will."

I'd only been half-paying attention, but at the mention of my name I snapped my gaze away from the grand staircase to Sumire and Anna. "That's not going to happen. He's all yours, Sumire."

Anna tossed me a sympathetic look. "You two will be spending a lot of time together. He might enchant you."

Sumire smacked her arm, but her smile was back. Either she didn't believe that was possible or she wasn't worried about me being a problem if it was. Which was fair—I paled in comparison to her.

The stairs came to a stop at a landing before changing direction and continuing upward. The landing extended out into a hallway that was lined with old, mahogany doors with gold numbers indicating room numbers. The doors were situated in pairs, like I'd seen in hotels, suggesting that the rooms next to each other branched out in opposite directions. The walls were the same warm beige as the lobby and the carpet was the same deep red as the furniture.

We stopped in front of room 207, which was right next to 208.

"You should test your key," Sumire offered, motioning to the brass door knob.

I eyed the door to room 208 suspiciously as I unclenched my fist from the key I'd been holding in a death grip since leaving the office. Sumire noticed, and confirmed my suspicions.

"Yes, we're the luckiest girls on the planet. Because Natsume is your Protector, he lives right next door."

I jammed my key into the doorknob, my mood deflated. "So lucky," I grumbled sarcastically, but it only made them chuckle again.

The room itself was a lot bigger than I had expected, although I suppose this place had thrown me enough curve balls that I should have seen it coming. I hadn't had any experience with dorm rooms, but I was pretty sure this was considered high-end.

It boasted an open-concept living room right inside the door, with a large leather sectional situated on the far end of the room, next to a beige wall, facing a large flat screen TV that was anchored to the wall next to a very large window that looked down upon the front yard of the building, facing the school building. On the left, there was a small table with four chairs, a bookshelf, and another leather sofa chair pushed against the far wall with a tall lamp next to it.

"So this is it," Anna said, spinning in a circle with her arms outstretched. "Home, sweet home. Come see your bedroom."

The hallway had two doors on the right side and two on the left side. The first door on the right was my bedroom, and—surprise, surprise—was bigger than I expected. It had a double bed with a big oak headboard and footboard and was already made up with a dark red duvet and beige sheets, the apparent colour scheme of this place. The blinds on the window were shut, but I knew it would have the same view as the living room window. A small desk was tucked in the far corner, and atop it sat my backpack.

I rushed to the desk, ripping open the backpack and exhaling in relief when I saw _Aesop's Fables_ nestled on top of one of my dad's old hoodies.

"What do you think?" Sumire asked from the door.

I gave the room another once over. I still felt the nearly suffocating anxiety that had been there since I'd woken up, this place still being foreign to me, but it looked…comfortable. I could work with comfortable.

"It's great," I managed to say.

"Not a dungeon," she confirmed.

Anna's head popped through the door, the smile already in place. "Make sure you check out the closet."

The closet was beyond impressive. Thankful that I had roommates that seemed up-to-date on trends and knew how to dress, I found myself with several outfits, right down to the shoes, at my disposal.

They showed me their bedrooms—Anna had won the biggest bedroom in the straw-pick against Sumire years ago—and then the large bathroom with a jet-tub.

"We're going to grab dinner with the guys in a bit," Sumire told me as we finished up the tour. "We can show you the dining hall and introduce you to some of our friends."

I smiled, hoping it came across as sincere as it felt. "Thank you, but I think I'm going to lay down." I pointed to my temple. "I have a lot of information to sift through, and quite honestly, I'm not ready to believe in superpowers yet." It was why I couldn't bring myself to ask them about _their_ superpowers.

Despite my attempt at humour, sympathy still touched Anna's eyes when she said, "We'll bring you something to eat. If you get hungry before we're back, there's a little café downstairs. They have snacks."

I thanked her again, and when I heard the door close behind them, I sat down on the edge of my bed and felt my body sag as tension seeped out of it.

It didn't take long to unpack. All I had in my backpack was the book, the hoodie, one more pair of yoga pants, the oversized _Harley Davidson_ t-shirt of my dad's that I'd been using for pyjamas, and a couple pairs of underwear—clean, thank God. Once upon a time I'd been stylish, but practicality had been my only concern the last few weeks. There was a plastic bag with some toiletries, too, which was a relief. One whiff of my armpits told me I was in desperate need of some deodorant. And maybe a shower.

I found an extra towel in the hall closet and spent the next half hour under a burning hot stream of water, staring at my feet, wondering when I was going to wake up from the nightmare I'd walked into.

It wasn't late, and even though I was exhausted—strange, after having slept for three days—I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Regardless, I pulled on my dad's t-shirt and crawled between the off-white sheets of my new bed.

Anna and Sumire came back an hour or so after they'd left. I heard the TV turn on, and quiet chatter, and allowed myself to feel grateful that they seemed nice enough, and welcoming, and hoped that they weren't catfishing me. They didn't come into my room, and I was still lying awake, wondering about alices, when I heard them shut themselves in their rooms for the night.

It was nearly midnight when I gave up trying to sleep. I threw on a pair of pants and my boots and quietly snuck out of my bedroom, and then out of the dorm room. The hallway was lit, and it was quiet, and I was dragged back to the night at the hotel, when my already screwed up life had done another 180.

Shaking my head, I started down the hall, hoping no one would see me. I didn't want to be the weird new girl on the brink of a freak out all the time, wandering the halls in the middle of the night.

I was surprised to find that the café Anna had mentioned was still open. There wasn't anybody working, so I guessed that meant that everything was fair game. It mostly just had chocolate bars and chips and granola bars, but in the very back, I found a big Cambro of coffee.

The sitting area just outside the café was, like everything else, empty of people, so I had a choice of where to sit. Before I could plop myself down in the soft sofa, though, a voice stopped me short.

"You must be the new girl," came a lilting voice, thick as honey.

The girl that had come down the stairs was tall, with shoulder length dark hair with blonde highlights, about an inch-thick of makeup on her face, and her boobs popping out the top of her tank top. Her smile, although she probably tried to make it look sincere, didn't even look like it belonged on her face. She looked more like the sneering type.

"That's me," I said mildly, not interested in having a conversation with anyone. Turning my attention away from her, I sat down in the sofa, biting back my exhale of relaxation when the cushions wrapped around me.

The girl ignored my lack of interest and sauntered over. "I'm Luna," she said, as if that explained everything.

I gave her a nod of acknowledgement and took a sip of coffee.

"Natsume used to be _my_ Protector."

Ah. That cleared things up.

In my head, I shuffled through the myriad of responses I could throw back at her. I could tell her I didn't give a shit. I could tell her I wasn't interested in him. She was obviously jealous. Not just jealous, but _bitter_ about it. These things would probably make her feel better.

But because it had been a long, exhausting day, and she was interrupting my me-time with my coffee, I went with, "Sucks to be you, I guess."

If looks could kill, I'd be lying on the couch in a pool of coffee and blood, but I just raised my eyebrows at her, waiting for her to push my buttons further.

She huffed a breath and strode past me, walking straight to one of the fridges in the café and pulling out a Gatorade. When she passed me again, she tossed me a smug smirk and said, "Post-workout recovery."

I watched her strut back up the stairs, frowning, wondering why I'd needed to know that, until someone else came down the stairs, and as she was passing, she gave him a sultry smile, and I understood.

Natsume was wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt that was tight across his shoulders and chest, and running shoes, and he had been headed to the front door until he caught sight of me staring at him, eyes narrowed.

"You here for a post-workout recovery drink as well?" I asked as he approached.

His lips turned up in amusement. "You met Luna."

"'Met' isn't the right word. More like, 'got shat on' by Luna." I gave him a once-over, then took another sip of coffee. "Little late for a jog, isn't it?"

"Little late for a coffee, isn't it?" he countered.

"It's never too late for a coffee."

He started to go, probably as sick of me as I was of him, but I leapt to my feet. My anxiety spiked, but I knew I had to ask, and I knew I had to hear the answer.

"Gary," I said abruptly. "The bartender from the club, the one that warned me. Is he…is he okay?"

He turned halfway around to look at me, and although his face didn't give much away, I could tell he hadn't expected that to be my concern. "He was when I left."

My knees gave out as relief hit me like a tidal wave. I sank back into the couch and exhaled slowly. "Oh, thank God."

He cast me one last glance before leaving me to my coffee.

* * *

Anna and Sumire were up by seven the next morning. Sumire went straight into the bathroom to shower, and Anna peeked into my room, probably expecting to have to wake me up.

"I'm in here," I called from the living room couch.

"You're up," she stated, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "When did you get up? _Why_ did you get up?"

"Nerves," I admitted. No need to tell her I hadn't really slept at all. "I don't really know what to expect."

She sighed. "Nothing you've ever dreamed of. I see you found the coffee machine."

"I did. I also met someone. Luna? She seemed charming."

If she'd had trouble waking herself up, I'd done the trick. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull as she flopped down onto the couch beside me. "What? When?"

"Last night. I went downstairs to get a snack. I'm assuming she's seeing Natsume?"

"If that's what you want to call it," Sumire said, appearing from the hallway, toweling her hair dry. "He'll sleep with her, but wants nothing to do with her in public."

I frowned. "And she's just…cool with that?"

She shrugged, not bothering—or not able—to disguise the venom in her tone. "She's sleeping with Natsume. She doesn't care about anything else. She thinks she's got him wrapped around her finger."

Before I could respond, Anna leapt to her feet. "We'll go over your schedule with you. Give you the rundown on all your teachers. You have first block with us, so you don't have to stress too much."

That information did take a load off my chest, and while Anna went to get ready for school, I focused my anxieties on other things. Like how I was supposed to deal with people having superpowers.

While most of me was still skeptical that that was even possible, and holding onto the hope that this was an elaborate prank for some TV show, a smaller part of me hoped that the people wielding the superpowers wouldn't just be throwing lightning bolts at each other in the hallways.

By the time my roommates were ready to go, my stomach was wound so tightly I couldn't even think about food.

Anna looked over my schedule as we walked, joining a throng of other students leaving the dorms. I tried not to look around too much, instead focusing on the piece of paper in Anna's hand.

"Bio is with us," she was saying. "Mr. Narumi is the best teacher. And then you have math with Natsume." She didn't even have to look up to know I made a face. "Then English with me, and then your combat class. Piece of cake."

"You alright?" Sumire asked, poking my cheek rather insensitively. "You're a little pale."

"I'm fine," I managed, even though her voice sounded far away.

Anna followed my gaze, which was stuck straight ahead, not on anything in particular. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"No."

"Maybe you should sit this one out."

Sumire was the one that shook her head. "She at least needs to eat something. If only to soak up all the caffeine she's already ingested."

We reached the doors of the grand castle that was the school building, and I found my feet glued to the ground. My roommates casted curious glances back at me.

"Are there going to be a ton of people in there flying or bouncing off walls or shooting lasers from their eyes? I don't know if I can handle that."

Anna glanced at her watch, then snickered. "If Natsume's already in there, then no. Mrs. Yamada sent out a mass email earlier to everyone earlier telling them not to use their alices to give you a day to adjust, and everyone knows Natsume's your Protector so they're not going to try and test him."

I didn't want to pray for Natsume to be there, but I was still going to pray for Natsume to be there.

They led me through the door, and I found that it led directly into what must be considered the dining hall. The whole room seemed to hold its breath at my arrival. I held my breath too, but didn't notice until Anna elbowed me in the ribs and ordered me to take a deep breath.

It looked like a regular cafeteria, except that it was inside a castle. And instead of having an overweight woman with a look of misery on her face behind a counter serving up the same thing over and over again, they had a buffet. A _huge_ buffet. Like the kind that had been at the all-inclusive resort in Mexico my dad and I had gone to once.

Chatter slowly resumed, and I was able to force my legs to move after Sumire down the aisle between the tables to the buffet. My stomach was grumbling, loud enough that if the room had been quiet everyone would probably be able to hear it. But with the way my nerves were treating me this morning, I passed by the French toast and pancakes and settled on some dry toast, fruit, and an orange juice.

No one flew through the air. No one was tossing lightning bolts.

So far, so good.

Anna and Sumire headed straight for a table near the center of the room—just what I wanted—and I wasn't sure if I was happy or annoyed to see Natsume already sitting there with two other boys, Luna, and Nonoko. There was also a pale girl with short, dark hair sitting next to the blonde boy, with a look of utter disinterest on her face. I immediately wanted to be friends with her.

Anna waved her hand in the direction of the boys first. "Mikan, this is Ruka and Koko, Natsume's roommates and our next door neighbors. And that's Hotaru, Ruka's girlfriend."

Hotaru's dark eyes slid to me. She nodded once before returning to the mountain of food in front of her. I wondered where she put it all.

"New Girl!" Koko exclaimed. "Nice to meet you. I'm sure you're stoked to be with Natsume." I could tell by the way he said it that he already knew just how not-stoked I was.

"It's refreshing to see someone not ogling over him," the other boy—Ruka—said, absently putting his arm around Hotaru. The look she shot him could have killed him, and he slowly retreated his arm.

Sumire tossed Koko a reprimanding look and then motioned to Luna and Nonoko. "You've already had the _pleasure_ of meeting Luna. Hey, Nonoko."

Nonoko waved at us, ignoring the look that Luna shot her before turning her fiery gaze to me. For a moment, I wondered if this was the set of _90210_ or something like it.

Sumire sat next to Natsume, making sure to lock eyes with Luna as she did so, while Anna went to squeeze between Hotaru and Nonoko. I sat next to Sumire.

"We've heard a lot about you already," Ruka mused as I stared at my plate, wondering where my appetite had gone.

"Nothing interesting," Luna grumbled.

"I'd say having a very obvious dislike towards that guy," He jabbed his thumb in Natsume's direction, "is pretty interesting, wouldn't you? Might be the only girl in the school to see him for the asshole he really is. What did he do to deserve it?"

"Threatened to break my neck, knocked me out, kidnapped me…you know. Nothing interesting." I took a bite of my toast, hoping to come across as nonchalant. Like none of this was fazing me when in reality my stomach was in knots.

Natsume's lips curved into a lopsided smile, and I think Sumire melted in her seat next to me. I was careful not to look at him, hoping to avoid being at risk of doing the same thing. He was an asshole and I hated him, but damn, he was hot. Especially with that lopsided half-smile thing.

"You don't look too unstable," Nonoko commented, confirming that I was doing an alright job keeping a straight face.

"Who called me unstable?" I asked, but I was already shooting a glare in Natsume's direction.

Both Nonoko and Luna watched the exchange, Nonoko with a raised eyebrow and Luna with a look of relief. I guess she hadn't believed my dislike for her boy-toy was legitimate.

"No one said _unstable_ ," Anna insisted. "Mrs. Yamada's email was just worded in a way that we all expected you to be a little more…shocked, I guess?"

I shrugged. "Must have gotten it out of my system yesterday."

The conversation shifted away after that. I made an effort to make small talk, but Anna told the table that I hadn't eaten in a bit and to let me enjoy my food. I was trying to; my mouth was so dry that the toast felt like chalk. I was just beginning to wonder why I hadn't grabbed a coffee on my way out of the dorm when I spotted the big Cambro on the other side of the room and felt my heart warm.

I definitely had a problem.

I had to wait in a short line behind a few other coffee-lovers. Some people glanced at me curiously, but they were usually followed with a glance in Natsume's direction before they found something else to stare at. I wondered what he had done to get such a scary reputation.

When it was my turn, I grabbed a Styrofoam cup and held it under the faucet, at the same time that the garbage can next to the coffee station jumped into the air and turned into a person.

I wish I was joking.

A short boy that looked younger than me now stood where the garbage can had been only moments ago, and I now stood three feet back from where I'd been, scalding coffee dripping down my hand and the sides of my cup. The pain didn't even register.

Chuckles rippled through the room as I stared, open-mouthed, as the boy burst into giggles and sauntered away.

"Kaname," a voice said from beside me. "He's a troublemaker."

The owner of the voice was a boy that closer to my age, so presumably also a senior. His hair was short and dark and he was good-looking by anyone's standards, with a bit of a bad-ass vibe with his toque and pierced ear. Maybe just not the standards of someone who knew who Natsume was, as bad as that sounded.

He was holding out a cup of coffee to me, filled to the brim with liquid goodness. "Mikan, right? I'm Tsubasa."

"Nice to meet you."

"He was just trying to freak you out. You'll be getting a lot of that the next few days."

I tried not to cringe. "What does someone that can turn into garbage cans need to be protected from, anyway?"

He laughed, a charming sound that was light and comfortable. "Himself, mostly. Not everyone here is under protection. Lots just come here to learn to control their alices. I'm sure you can see how morphing into a garbage can in the middle of the street might cause some concern."

I nodded solemnly, then remembered my food back at the table. I thanked Tsubasa and headed back to my seat, ignoring the eyes that followed me.

"You okay?" Sumire's perfect eyebrows were pulled together in a frown when I sat back down.

"Fine," I replied, too quickly.

"Says the girl whose hands are shaking." Natsume's voice was cool, his face expressionless, but I knew that that kid's actions had irritated him.

I looked down at my hand that held my fork, and sure enough found it trembling slightly. I put down the fork and picked up the Styrofoam cup, raising it in his direction. "This is also my third cup of coffee." I turned to Anna. "I thought you said Mrs. Yamada told people not to use their alices."

She looked apologetic. "This is also high school. Kids don't listen very well." Her brows furrowed. "Your hand is burnt." She glanced at Natsume, but I missed the meaning behind it.

"Just a bit red," I said mildly, and tried to get through my breakfast without coming undone at the table.

The boys and Hotaru headed out before us, followed by Luna and Nonoko, but Sumire and Anna stuck around to wait for me to finish eating my sad breakfast. It was a nice gesture, because I knew Sumire was dying to spend more time with Natsume. I tried to finish quickly and then followed them like a wide-eyed tourist into the school through the adjoining door.

Once I got past the stone walls and giant oak doors on all the classrooms, it looked just like my old school. Inside the classroom, however, the most dramatic difference I noticed was the boy flying from one end of the room to the other.

Anna cast me a sympathetic glance. "Don't freak out."

I breathed in slowly, contemplated turning around and going back to bed to sleep for the next eight months, and then breathed out. I met Natsume's eyes from across the classroom, where he looked frustratingly good but also smug as hell.

"I'm good," I said, only half-confident, and then took a better look at the classroom.

People were staring at me now, but I tried to ignore them and instead observed the long tables with single chairs, a far-cry from the individual desks at my old school. There were no posters plastered on the walls with diagrams or inspirational quotes, just the ancient stone that somehow made me feel more comfortable than the stupid posters I was used to.

Natsume sat in the very back row, leaning back in his seat, relaxed, but his eyes remained on me. Ruka sat next to him on one side, Luna on the other, while Koko sat in the row in front of them with three empty seats next to him. I exhaled in relief when that was where Anna led us, although sitting directly in front of Natsume made me suspicious. I wasn't sure if he was above putting gum in my hair.

The boy in front of me whirled around in his seat, beaming. "Hey, New Girl. Wanna see my alice?"

"Kitsuneme," Sumire said before I could open my mouth. "Leave her alone."

He seemed surprised she spoke to him, but turned his smile back to me. He held out his hand, and I felt my heart seize. Before anything could happen, a pencil flew past my ear and bounced off Kitsuneme's chest. He gave Natsume a surprised look, but turned around in his seat.

I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to tell Natsume I could handle myself, even if I couldn't.

The teacher, who I hadn't noticed was already in the classroom, stood up from his desk in the corner and beamed at us. I was dragged back to the night in the motel, when Natsume had knocked me out, before the man who stood at the front of the classroom now had been able to inject me with whatever had been in his syringe. Anna had mentioned a Mr. Nurumi, but I'd been too preoccupied with my nerves to understand.

His face was still kind and relaxed, and I battled my emotions, trying to tell myself I didn't think I should be afraid of this man.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen!" he said enthusiastically. "I'm happy to see all your smiling faces this morning, but not too happy to see those faces not in their assigned seats."

My stomach dropped to my toes. Apparently even fancy, supernatural schools weren't exempt from teachers who liked to give seating plans.

Groans filled the classroom as students got up and moved around. Anna sighed ruefully and got up to move. Sumire stayed seated beside me, motioning me to stay in my seat as well.

Mr. Narumi nodded in approval as each student shuffled back to their assigned seats. When the commotion had settled down, he gave Sumire a knowing look. "You too, Sumire."

"Can't you go easy on her on her first day?" she tried.

Mr. Narumi settled his gentle stare on me. "Class, I know you're all already aware this, as it is quite a special day, but we have a new student joining us today. Please make sure Mikan feels welcome here." He smiled. "I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun this semester, Mikan. I'll even give you what I've heard is one of the best seats in the house! Why don't you go sit on the other side of Natsume there?"

I couldn't help the look of exasperation at another attempt at everyone in this school ganging up on me. Especially him, when he was there at the motel that night. "Do I have to?"

It was almost like I could hear every jaw in the room hit the floor. I tried not to let the disbelief make it to my face, but the fact that an _asshole_ could be idolized so much just didn't seem like real life to me.

"Sorry, my dear," he said in a tone that made me think he really wasn't sorry at all. "I just feel like that's the _right_ place for you to be."

I cast a glance at Sumire for help, but she just shook her head, getting up to a couple seats to the right in the same row. Sighing, I gathered my things and walked around to the last row and put my stuff at the spot next to Natsume's. I was greeted by a gentle waft of cologne, tinged with cigarette smoke, that took me back to the way we'd met, and I scowled. He noticed, and smirked to himself while Luna glared at me from the other side of him.

"Still angry that I threatened to break your neck?" he muttered as Mr. Narumi rambled through rollcall.

"I think I'll always be angry at you for threatening to break my neck," I growled.

"I could have let you walk away with the bad guys," he pointed out.

I felt my scowl deepening as I realized he was suggesting that his threat was the sole purpose I hadn't ended up in the bad guy's stretchy hands that night. "I'd rather you had."

I tried to ignore him for most the class, and for the most part it was relatively easy; he didn't try talking to me again and I didn't bother looking at him, and I was a little preoccupied with thoughts of the boy flying across the room. Occasionally, though, Natsume would slip into the back of my mind with his arrogant little smirk and I'd feel angry all over again. By the time the bell rang, I felt as though I'd turned to stone from all the tension.

Luna gave Natsume a parting wave before she left with her friend Wakako, whose name I'd caught during rollcall and who had been staring at me with a very confused look on her face for most of the class, and Natsume left with Ruka and Koko. Ruka said something that made Koko laugh and when he looked over his shoulder at me and said something to Natsume, I was immediately suspicious.

"They aren't making fun of you or anything," Anna said, catching my look. "Girls don't tend to dislike Natsume."

"I'll say it again, have any of them heard him _talk_?"

"You mean, have any of them heard his deep, sexy voice?" Sumire asked.

"No. I mean he's an asshole."

"He's troubled," she said in his defense, and I shot her a look that made Anna laugh.

Mr. Narumi stopped me before I could leave the classroom, calling me over to his desk, and disguising the concern when I hesitated. He motioned for Sumire and Anna to join me before turning his concerned gaze to me.

"I understand that our initial meeting may have caused you to link negative feelings with my presence, but I'm hoping we can start fresh," he said sincerely.

I forced a smile. I was sure my discomfort around him came from the fact that I didn't know what he'd intended to inject me with, because Natsume had knocked me out before I had the chance. "Of course," I said eventually, glad when my voice didn't shake. "Natsume was the asshole in that whole situation anyway. You were nice about it, at least."

He fought a smile. "Language, please." Then, to Sumire and Anna, "Make sure she gets caught up on last week's material please, girls."

When we left the classroom, Sumire looked quizzically in my direction. "What exactly happened when they brought you in?"

"You don't have to tell us, if you don't want to," Anna added quickly. "Sounds like it was stressful."

"There was a dingy motel, really gross instant coffee, Natsume, some guy named Reo, and Mr. Narumi. It was chaos and then Natsume knocked me out. You'll have to ask him if you want more details."

They both stopped walking when we were at the other end of the hallway, and Anna motioned to the door in front of us. "This is your stop. You'd better get in there before the second bell rings and Mr. Meany gives you detention for the rest of the semester."

I swallowed thickly. "Mr. Meany?"

"Have fun!"

My mouth went dry as I watched them walk away, and then I remembered the part about detention and scurried into the classroom. It was an exact replica of the Biology classroom, but this one was mostly empty when I walked in so I hurried to the back and snagged a seat in the far corner and hoped there wasn't a seating plan.

I observed the people filing into the classroom, doing a double-take when someone walked in with scales on their face and being met with a mischievous grin as the whole face turned into the face of a lizard before reverting back to normal. Natsume walked in shortly after, and I decided it was time to stop looking and people or I was going to throw up.

To my extreme delight, Natsume, as well as lizard-face, took a seat practically on the other side of the classroom, and I felt my whole body sag in relief.

Until Mr. Meany walked in, and I was stiff as a board again.

He was a big man, both towering in height and broad in his shoulders. He wore a suit, which was a far cry from Mr. Narumi's dress pants and rumpled button-down shirt, and he looked so severe in it that I shrank back into my seat. Disregarding his stature, his face alone was enough to instill fear in his pupils, hard-lined with his mouth turned down in what I could only describe as a perma-frown.

His name was actually Mr. Jinno, but I decided Meany fit him better.

He took attendance, and when I fearfully squeaked out a, "Present," when he called my name, he didn't stop to single me out like Mr. Narumi had. In fact, he paid no attention to the fact that I wasn't a familiar face.

Luckily all I'd missed in the first few classes were the initial review they did from last year's material. Although I'd barely passed math, I was pretty sure if I just read the textbook I would be refreshed enough to not fall hopelessly behind. That, of course, remained to be seen.

Mr. Meany's only redeeming attribute was his threat that anyone who used their alice in class would face dire consequences. Because of it, I allowed myself to believe I was going to make it through class with no incidents, but immediately after Mr. Meany called Natsume out for his poor attendance the previous year and how he expected a change, he was suddenly facing me, saying, very coldly, "And you will pass my class whether you like it or not!"

I wanted to say, "I really hope so!" or something along those lines, but I bit my tongue, petrified into silence.

At the end of class, I booked it out of the classroom, scared to be left alone in the room with Mr. Meany. I didn't get far before Sumire and Anna intercepted me.

"You're alive," Sumire observed. "That's a good sign."

"Barely!" I exclaimed. "Is that guy for real? He's the scariest man I've ever met! And there was this guy. He had a…a…" I motioned to my face, unable to articulate.

She nodded in understanding. "Jack. He can do that."

"What is _that,_ exactly? Transform his head into a lizard head?"

"Whole body, actually. It's kind of freaky."

We'd reached the cafeteria doors. I could hear all the noise on the other side, and decided another meltdown was just around the corner and that the cafeteria wasn't the place I wanted to have it.

"You guys go ahead," I said. "I'm not really hungry."

I stared straight ahead as I walked, hoping it would reduce the chances of me seeing someone's superpower. It didn't save me from seeing the girl with long blonde locks using her hair to grab things out of her locker as if they were extra limbs, or the girl with cat ears that I was pretty sure were real.

The warm fall air outside reminded me to breathe. I stayed on the path for a little while, ignoring the students milling around, laughing like they were _normal_ when normal was so far off base from this place. Eventually, their skewed sense of normalcy—and the fact that a girl leapt ten feet in the air right in front of me—drove me to abandon the path and take refuge in one of the large open fields.

I took my flip flops off and walked with my head down, watching the lush green grass poke between my toes and wondering if they'd planted seeds or lain sod to get such wonderfully soft grass. Anything to take my mind off of everything else.

My thoughts were interrupted when a dark shadow appeared before me, startling me into stopping. I'd almost forgotten about the wall, having nearly been reminded by smashing face-first into it. Spared, I stepped back and stared up at it. Ten feet at least, I suspected. Made of stone that kind of made me think of the Great Wall of China. It sure seemed long enough, anyway, stretching as far in both directions as I could see, reminding me of the fact that I was a prisoner here, regardless if that's what they intended or not.

I flopped down on the grass, staring up at the wall, feeling the pressure on my chest as if it were falling on me.

* * *

When I heard the bell ring signalling the end of lunch, I shot to me feet and ran barefoot across the grass, having no interest in being late. I didn't put my shoes back on until I got to doors of the school, where I speed-walked to the locker Anna and Sumire had let me put my stuff in.

Anna was waiting for me, glancing anxiously at the time on her watch. "There you are! Hurry up."

"You're didn't have to wait." It seemed my roommates had a habit of instilling warmth in my heart.

She grinned. "You'll get lost without me."

In class, Anna introduced me to the girl she sat beside as Mita, who was a small, pixie-like girl with a giant smile that screamed trouble. I was exhausted, and could barely bring myself to react when her arm snaked out too far to shake my hand, even when Go-Go Gadget Arms was the image that popped into my head.

Our English teacher, Mrs. Okabe, was a woman that looked like she was nearing 70, but she seemed nice enough. She didn't give me the same kind of attention that Mr. Narumi had—thankfully—but she did stop when she called my name in attendance to welcome me to the school with a grandmotherly smile.

"She's a sweet old lady," Anna whispered to me. "Kind of hard to hear though, and a bit of a stickler for rules."

She _was_ difficult to hear from our row second last from the back, but she also wrote extremely detailed notes in the slowest possible fashion. I wondered how we were expected to get through a whole semester's worth of material at this speed.

At the end of class, Anna explained to me that last block was reserved for teaching students about their alices. In my case, it was time for me to learn how to defend myself against the people who were out to get me for no reason. We parted ways, and Mita walked with me to the gym, chattering away, oblivious to my inattentiveness.

My dad had taught me the basics about defending myself, but I think both he and I never expected me to ever have to use the things he taught me, so they weren't very well ingrained. That, coupled with the knowledge of who my trainer was, assured me that I was about to get my ass kicked.

"This is your stop!" Mita exclaimed, dragging me from my trance. "Have fun!" With a wink, she skipped off.

I poked my head into the gym. It looked like the gym at my old school, only four times bigger. There were mats lain out on the floor, and massive cloth dividers that hung from the ceiling and divided up the gym into four separate courts. There were a few other people on the courts, leaving one empty.

Hoping Natsume wouldn't show, I changed into my yoga pants and t-shirt and then stared at my bare feet for a second before deciding there was nothing I could do about my shoeless-ness.

To my dismay, Natsume was on the previously empty court when I emerged from the change room. To my relief, on the other hand, he also was not wearing shoes.

"Hey, I was thinking," I called as I crossed the gym. "If we just show the Organization that I am essentially useless, do you think they'd leave me alone?"

He glanced up, and I watched as his eyes travelled down my body to my toes before switching direction and going back to my face. I scowled at him, which only deepened his look of amusement.

"No," he said. "If they want you, there's a good reason for it."

"But you don't know what that reason is, right?"

"If I did, we'd be doing something about it."

I stepped onto the cool mat, a few feet away from him. "So this class is going to happen today, and there's no way out of it?"

"What do you think?" was his monotonous reply.

I sighed, resigning to the fact that I probably wasn't getting out of this training session unscathed.

Over the course of the class, I learned two things; first, that 'training' session actually meant 'whoop-Mikan's-ass' session and; secondly, Natsume took his Protector duties very seriously.

"If I was such a liability, I would've thought my dad would have taught me a little more," I groaned from the ground where I'd been thrown for the umpteenth time.

"He contacted the school because he thought they might be curious as to why he hid you from them," he responded, waiting for me to get back up. That's right, ever the gentleman watching me struggle to my feet without helping. "He probably didn't know why they were so interested. If he had, he would have told someone."

"How would you know?" I asked, pushing myself to my feet.

"Because I knew him."

It didn't necessarily surprise me, but it did frustrate me. Natsume knowing my dad was just one more piece of evidence of the life my dad had hidden from me.

He came at me again, and I practiced the evasive footwork we'd gone over. Whereas every other time Natsume had been faster than me and struck me down, this time I tripped over my own feet and hit the mat again.

I rolled begrudgingly back to my feet, wanting nothing more than to lay there in agony for the rest of the night. "Remind me again why this is necessary on these very safe school grounds?"

He wasn't even breaking a sweat. "You're not going to be on the grounds forever."

"Shouldn't the threat be neutralized by then?"

"We don't know why the Organization wants you. The threat to you may never be neutralized as long as the Organization exists."

"That's a thrilling thought," I grumbled. "So, what? I'm just supposed to live my life constantly looking over my shoulder?"

This time when he came at me, I managed to make it to the very last step before he grabbed me, but this time he didn't throw me down like I'd braced myself for. Instead, he lowered me gently and then dropped me when I was a couple centimeters off the mat.

"You might be better at this if you talked less," he said, looking down at me.

I sat up, but didn't get to my feet. "You're a student here. Why were you out keeping an eye on me? Why was that your job instead of that guy Reo with too much gel in his hair? Didn't you miss class?"

If the question surprised him, it didn't show. "It's just how it worked out."

"What's your superpower?"

"None of your business."

"So you get to know everything about me and all I get to know about you is that you know how to kick ass and you're kinda mean?"

"All you need to know is that it's my job to protect you."

I pushed myself to my feet. "Why are you beating me up, then?" I grumbled, three seconds before I was back on the mat. "I really don't see how this benefits me at all."

"That's it for today. Have an ice bath tonight."

I melted into the mat in relief, but didn't get much solitude before the bell rang signalling the end of the day.

"How was it?" Sumire asked when I met them outside the gym. Natsume had already sauntered off, and she was gazing longingly after him. "Still can't believe you scored him."

"Look at the bright side," Anna piped up, ever cheerful. "Since he's with Mikan now, he'll be spending less time with Luna. And judging by the look on Mikan's face, her dislike for him is for real, and this could be your time to shine."

"Coming from the girl who's rooting for the new roommate instead of her best friend." Her words were jealous, but her voice was good-humored. "Seriously, though. How was it?"

I rubbed my shoulder, which had taken the brunt of the beating today, and grumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

* * *

No part of me wanted to go back to the dining hall for dinner, but since I skipped lunch and had been working on playing catch-up on my classes all evening, I was both starving and sick of math when Sumire asked if I wanted to go get something to eat.

"I might just grab something and come back here," I told them as we walked.

Despite the warmth in the afternoon, the fact that fall was almost here made itself evident in the evenings when the sun was on its way down. I'd thrown on a sweater to fend off the bite of the air, and still shivered when the breeze picked up.

"It's been a long day for you," Anna agreed. "They have to-go boxes."

I loaded my to-go box with pizza, pasta, and some salad to counteract the carbs, waved at Anna and Sumire, and headed back in the direction of the room.

I ran into Hotaru on my way up the stairs. Presumably she was on her way to the dining hall, and she almost didn't acknowledge me as I passed, until I piped up with, "Hey, Hotaru."

Her dark eyes slid to me. In a lot of ways, she kind of reminded me of Natsume, but somehow scarier. That only made me want to be her friend even more, to potentially have someone tougher than Natsume to back me up.

"Off to dinner?" I asked, trying to stimulate conversation.

"Yes," she replied shortly.

"Okay," I said awkwardly, smiling. "Have fun."

She nodded, and then glanced at the box in my hand. "You shouldn't eat all of that. It will make you sick."

She was probably right, not that it mattered. I made it through the pizza and the salad before my appetite decided it was done for the night, and I figured it was probably about time I tried to sleep, too. I ditched my books, got ready for bed, and crawled my already-aching body between the soft sheets, dreading the night of sleepless agony that awaited me.

Hoping to settle my mind, I opened up the drawer on the nightstand and pulled out my copy of _Aesop's Fables._ This particular copy was part of a collection of old books that all had immaculate hardcovers, this one emerald green in colour with gold embroideries and nothing else, besides the title on the spine of the book in intricate gold lettering. The hardcover had helped keep the book in pristine shape over the years, which was why I frowned when the book fell open in my lap, indicating the spine had been injured.

This was the first time I'd opened it since the fire. It had stayed with me from every gas station to every dingy motel, under my pillow or close by, but I hadn't dared open it. Those sleepless nights, the stories called to me, beckoned me back to their pages that were filled with good memories, but I'd never felt ready.

I wasn't even particularly sure I was ready now, but here I was.

The short story, _The Mule,_ took up the left page, with two other stories on the right page. I skimmed over _The Mule_ to refresh my memory.

 _"Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either."_

I was familiar with the story, but I was also certain that I wasn't familiar enough with it to have broken the spine of the book reading it.

Shrugging it off, I attributed to jostling around in my backpack for weeks, and closed it back into the nightstand. With Natsume's advice to take a cold bath echoing in my head, I dozed off.

* * *

A/N: Hi guys! I just want to address a couple of things.

First off, I have **not** read the Gakuen Alice manga. I only watched the anime, YEARS ago. That being said, as well as many of the alices being different, there's going to be some fundamental differences behind the mechanics of alices, and how they're dealt with in 'civilized' society, which will come later. Here, though, I want to mention that for the purpose of this story, individuals can have only ONE alice. More than one alice in a single individual is unheard of.

Second, there will almost definitely be some plot holes. I'm trying to catch them all as I go through and re-read and revise before I post chapters, but I'm bound to miss some. If you notice a plot hole, feel free to bring it to my attention. I might be able to address it in a later chapter, or I might accept that I overlooked something and now I'm stuck with a plot hole. It's just a fanfic, so I'm going to try not to worry about it too much.

Lastly, thanks for all the feedback!


	4. Into the Ocean

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I want to swim away but don't know how,_  
 _Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean_  
 _Let the waves up take me down,_  
 _Let the hurricane set in motion,_  
 _Let the rain of what I feel right now come down_

-Into the Ocean  
Blue October

I woke up early, palms sweating and heart racing. Since this was a common occurrence, I brushed off the remnants of the nightmare and rolled out of bed.

The strangled cry that flew from my lips was entirely unintentional.

My body was beyond aching. A more accurate description would be that it felt like I'd been hit by a freight train. I'd heard that expression before, but it had never held true meaning until that very morning.

I hobbled to the bathroom, cranking up the water and hoping the scalding heat would undo the ache. No such luck.

The worst part about the fact that I could barely move was that going downstairs to get coffee was extremely difficult, and getting back upstairs without spilling any as I hobbled was another story altogether.

Because it was physically his fault, I decided to blame Natsume.

I sat down at the table, fearing that if I sat on the couch I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of it. Even the coffee, usually the best part of my day, wasn't able to knock the scowl off my face when every time I lifted my cup to my lips, my body screamed in protest.

When my roommates got up, Anna was quick to notice my outfit, while Sumire zeroed in on my expression.

"Ooh, cute!" Anna said at the same time Sumire said, "What's up your butt?"

"Moving hurts," I explained. "Natsume's the devil."

They communicated their obvious sympathy to me by snickering.

The dining hall was busy again that morning, busy enough that there were no seats with the usual crew, probably because they were occupied by Luna and her friends. Luna shot us a smug smile as we sat down at the next table over.

"I could punch her in the face," Sumire said through gritted teeth.

"Can you explain that relationship to me a little more?" I asked. "He doesn't seem like the relationship type."

Her voice was laced with acid when she said, "They sleep together sometimes. It's nothing serious, but she acts like it is."

"Why her?"

"She's hot and she's easy and she doesn't seem to care that he pretends she doesn't exist whenever they're not banging."

I tried to imagine Natsume having an intimate relationship with someone, and the thought was honestly laughable. I'd had sex before, and I honestly just couldn't picture stone-faced Natsume making an expression that aligned with pleasure in any way, shape, or form.

"Aren't you going to go get your coffee?" Anna asked. She glanced at the fruit on my plate but didn't comment.

"I don't know if I can make it over there," I said, at almost the same instant that someone was reaching over me and setting a Styrofoam cup down on the table in front of me.

"Looks like you took a beating in your first self-defence class." Tsubasa, the boy from the coffee line-up yesterday, smiled down at me. "Figured you could use this."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, picking up the cup and inhaling the steam. "You're my new best friend. Move over, guys. Tsubasa's staying."

He laughed. "I'd love to, but my breakfast is getting cold over there. See you around."

"Thanks again!" I called after him, and then joyously sipped my coffee.

Sumire raised her eyebrow at me. "When did you two become pals?"

"Anybody who brings me coffee is my pal."

Another body approached from the other side of the table, and Hotaru sat delicately down next to Anna. Anna looked surprised, glancing back at the boys to see that Ruka had left room for her beside him. He has watched her sit down with us with a look on his face that went from surprise to endearment rather quickly. What an odd relationship those two had.

"Morning, Hotaru," she said. "How come you're not sitting with Ruka?"

"He's annoying me," Hotaru responded, picking up a giant link of sausage with her fork. Her plate was piled high with bacon, sausage, eggs, and toast; I wondered why she'd told me not to eat all my food when she ate like that.

"What did he do this time?" Sumire asked.

"He woke me up before my alarm."

Anna and Sumire both covered their smiles with their hands and I shoved a piece of fruit in my mouth to hide mine.

We got to the classroom before the boys, and I half-hoped the seating plan had been a dream. But Mr. Narumi watched us all as we took our seats, calling out anyone who sat where they weren't supposed to.

Miserably, I flopped down in my seat.

"How was your first day of school, Mikan?" Mr. Narumi asked me from the other end of the classroom. "Good, I presume?"

I thought about it, and then went with, "It could have been worse, I suppose. Not sure I'm adjusting well to the superpowers."

He wandered over to my desk, so he could add without the class hearing, "You're welcome to come to my office. I'm sure Mrs. Yamada told you that there are facilities on the grounds that are here to help you adjust."

I smiled gratefully. "I don't think I'll resort to therapy just yet."

Ruka and Koko got to class before Luna and Natsume, and after what Sumire had told me I could only assume they'd snuck off to a broom closet for a quickie. Judging by the way Sumire seemed to be seething in front of me, I guessed she had come to the same conclusion.

When they eventually did get to class, I ignored Luna's piercing gaze and the sensual burst of Natsume's cologne and stared hard at the board, trying not to think about where they'd been.

I'd gotten through over half the class without incidence—except noticing Luna's friend Wakako glancing my way a bunch of times—when Natsume's deep voice reverberated in my ear. "I told you to take an ice bath."

"I thought you were trying to trick me," I replied honestly.

"Into what?"

"Being miserable? Honestly, an ice bath sounds like torture."

"If you'd had one, you wouldn't be walking like an 80-year-old with arthritis."

"80-year-old is a bit of an exaggeration," I argued. "Maybe like a 70-year-old with mild joint pain."

"Next time, listen." His tone left little room for a response. "You won't be able to train properly today because of this."

"If you were a little nicer maybe I'd be inclined to trust you when you give me advice," I shot back haughtily.

"It's not my job to be nice to you, Legs."

At first I thought I'd misheard him, but one glance at the smug expression on his face told me I hadn't. Irritation flared in the pit of my stomach. "What did you call me?"

"Legs."

"Why?"

Instead of responding, he just let his eyes wander down the length of my body, stopping when he got to the top half of my leg that was visible from under the desk, which were bare because of my new denim shorts. When he looked back at me, he met my glare with his signature smirk, and said nothing more.

Maybe I should have taken it as a compliment, because there were way worse names to be called. In elementary school, there was a period of a couple of weeks where everyone called me Polka Dots because I had fallen during recess while wearing a skirt and everyone had seen my undies. But the fact that the nickname came from Natsume, coupled with that stupid smug little smirk as he'd said it, took the compliment out of the word. I fumed for the rest of class, and when the bell rang, remained in my seat until Natsume was out of sight.

"How many times are you going to look like someone shoved a stick up your ass today?" Sumire asked, joining me as I begrudgingly shoved my books into my bag.

"He gave me a nickname," I grumbled unhappily.

"A nickname?" Anna inquired, appearing in front of me. "What nickname?"

"Legs," I seethed, and then stormed out of the classroom.

After math, in which I didn't look in Natsume's direction for the entirety of the class, I had no desire to sit in the cafeteria with a bunch of crazy people. Instead, I went back to the dorm, gawking at the girl who walked straight through the door right in front of me and wondering how on earth my dad could have kept a secret this huge from me.

As he'd predicted, I was even worse at the self-defence thing than I had been the day before, which was quite the accomplishment. I tried to prove him wrong, I really did, but my aching body made me slow and sluggish, and I was also anticipating the blow before it came in order to soften my landing.

"I don't think I'm learning anything," I protested from the ground. I seemed to spend a lot of time down there. "Can we just take a couple days off until I'm recovered and next time I promise to have an ice bath when you tell me to?"

"No," he said, this time dragging me to my feet impatiently. "Feet shoulder-width apart. Hands up. This isn't a game, Legs."

I felt the irritation first, followed by a sharp pain in my chest, followed by a stinging pain in my arm as he grabbed me and flipped me over onto my back. I immediately sat back up, clutching my forearm to my chest.

"What the hell?" I gasped, looking down at the pink, blistering skin on my arm. "How did you do that? Why did you do that?"

I wanted to be angry, but judging by his expression, he was as surprised as I was. It wasn't as obvious on him, mind you, because he didn't seem to be very good at showing what he was feeling, but I could see the surprise under his blank expression.

"Is that your alice?" I asked, waiting for the stinging to go away. "You can burn things? Goddamn, that hurts."

He grabbed my uninjured arm, careful to touch only my clothing and not my skin, and pulled me to my feet. He started across the gym, and I suspected that he expected me to follow him.

We stopped outside of a classroom with a closed door. Natsume told me to wait outside and then disappeared inside without knocking, leaving me in the hallway examining the first-degree burn on my arm.

He returned with Anna in tow, a frown already on her face. She picked up my arm, glancing questioningly at Natsume, but he just shook his head. Either he didn't want to explain, or he didn't know how.

She examined it carefully, and then covered it with both of her hands. I didn't feel anything, but when she took her hands away, my skin was perfectly free of any sign of the burn.

My mouth dropped open. "You can heal things? That's incredible!"

"It's not that incredible," she said shyly. "It's pretty common."

"I don't care how common it is!" I held up my arm, examining it in the light. "That's so cool!"

"Take the rest of the day off," Natsume said, and then disappeared down the hall.

"How'd he do that?" I asked Anna, staring in the direction he'd gone. "Is that his alice? He can burn things? That's pretty dangerous. Bad-ass, but dangerous. And scary."

Anna was shaking her head. "Natsume is the most disciplined person I know. He knows he has a dangerous alice, and he has trained hard to keep it under control at all times."

"Hm Guess he dislikes me as much as I dislike him." I was trying to lighten the situation, but she was not amused.

"He'd never do it on purpose, Mikan."

Even though I thought he was a little shit, I knew she was right.

* * *

I tried getting back into exercising. Not because Natsume told me to—even though he did—but because I remembered reading somewhere that it was supposed to help release endorphins or something like that.

That night, even though every cell in my body begged me to just crawl into bed and cry, I strapped on a pair of running shoes and attempted a light jog. It didn't go very well, to say the least, considering how many times I had to stop for a walking break, and it didn't really make the feeling of wanting to cry go away, but I did have to admit I felt better by the time I jogged back up to the dorm.

Until I saw Natsume standing outside, leaning against the wall, a cigarette in his hand. I didn't approve of smoking, but he really knew how to pull off the bad-ass look. He looked up when I slowed to a walk in front of him.

"Smoking isn't good for you," I stated dumbly. When he didn't respond, I continued. "So you tell me to go for a run and then you sit here destroying your lungs with chemicals? That's totally unfair. At least I'm destroying my lungs with aerobic activity. I can't remember why I used to run for fun."

He glanced at the cigarette in his hand, took a long drag, and then dropped the butt to the ground and stomped it out. All without saying a word.

"Where the hell did you even get smokes in this place?" I wondered aloud, and then, hopefully, "You must get them when you go off campus, right? Hey, do you take orders?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay, well if you change your mind about that, can you pick me up a bag of Mini Eggs? They don't have them here, and they're my favorite. I thought they only sold them at Easter, which would honestly have been better, because as soon as I found out they sold them year round, I was picking up a medium sized bag of those every week. I once ate two of those medium bags in one night. I hated myself after, because I felt like crap the next day, but it was blissful while I was eating them."

He studied me for a moment, and I had a sneaking suspicion he was trying not to smile. "You should rest."

"Don't have to tell me twice." I saluted him and strode into the building, wondering if I was just imagining the subtle scent of alcohol on his clothes.

Hotaru was just coming out of the boys' room when I walked up the stairs. She nodded at me, but I could tell she had no intention to start a conversation.

I took it upon myself to initiate. "Make up with Ruka?"

"It would seem so," she answered nonchalantly.

"Did you know Natsume smokes?"

"Everyone knows he smokes. Everyone has their outlets. You drink coffee and stay awake until you can't physically keep your eyes open anymore, and he smokes."

I frowned. "How do you know my sleeping habits?"

She gave me a look that suggested I was obtuse. "The coffee, the perpetual look of exhaustion…If I were you, I'd talk to Narumi. He's crazy, but he's smart."

"I highly doubt you're the type to ask for help from anyone."

Her lips curved, and I could tell she approved of my observation. "I don't need help. You do."

* * *

The next couple weeks were more of the same stuff. I'd wake up, drained from a restless night, have a coffee, try to eat breakfast, have more coffee, go about the day, get my ass kicked in training, have another coffee, go to bed, and repeat. I did start to do the ice baths—they had a facility for it in the gym—and as much as it sucked, it did help with the aches.

Luna remained an issue, especially when we'd occasionally run into her leaving Natsume's room in the morning. She'd look smugly at Sumire and Sumire would fume while I rolled my eyes at the dramatic high school life I was living. I was forever grateful for my roommates though, dramatic as they were-mostly Sumire. They included me in everything they did, and didn't pester me when I wasn't up for it. It felt good to have friends again.

Natsume and I didn't talk about the burn, although I wanted to. He told me to wear a long-sleeved shirt to practice, and that was that. He didn't apologize, but he didn't have to for me to know that he was sorry. I could tell by the look on his face sometimes how much it bothered him.

There was no news on my situation. I asked Natsume several times, and when I became skeptical of him being honest with me, I went to Mrs. Yamada's office to double-check, only to be told the same thing.

Progress did come in the form of getting used to seeing alices on display. That was one hurdle I was happy to get over.

Wakako and Luna had taken up whispering about me in class or in the dining hall sometimes. Sumire told me Wakako could read minds, so I did my best to think about fluffy bunnies and unicorns when she was around.

One night, when Mita was in our room watching TV with us, it dawned on me that Luna must have a pretty important alice to have had Natsume as her Protector before me. Either that or someone was after her for no reason like they were me.

"She can meddle with time," Mita explained. My jaw must have dropped, because she was quick to continue. "She's not very good at it. And it's not like she can go back in time or anything. But she can slow it down and still be able to move around normally. She makes it seem like she can do more than that."

"The teachers don't think she'll ever be able to do more than pause it for a few seconds," Anna added. "But the Organization still has its sight on her, because there is potential."

"Honestly, I know she's pissed that you took her spotlight away, but you also took the Organization's attention away," Sumire said. "She should be grateful."

I also found out that Hotaru had a photography hobby. I found that out when I got out of bed one day to find Sumire and Anna with their heads together, giggling. Upon closer inspection, I found it was a photo of me in the common area, a math book open in front of me, but I was sound asleep with my head on the table, my mouth open and most definitely drooling.

"Where did you get this?" I exclaimed, snatching it from them and ripping it in half.

"Hotaru likes to take embarrassing pictures of everyone," Sumire said. "Don't get too upset over it. She does it to everyone. There's one of me throwing up in the biology lab sink."

"Does she have any of Natsume?" I asked hopefully.

"Probably not. People don't mess with Natsume. Not even Hotaru. Those two have a weird mutual respect thing going on. Everyone thinks they're actually siblings, since they're so alike."

I tried not to be disappointed by that.

Natsume and I didn't get along very well. I was still mad at him for his role in getting me here and I was pretty sure he thought I was annoying as hell. Actually, I knew he thought that, because he told me several times. He always said things to irk me and then smirked when I reacted. Most days, ignoring him was the only thing I could do to keep from throttling him in class. Not that that would be very effective, since I had yet to lay a good blow on him in training.

That's why, the first time he was gone from class, while everyone else—especially Sumire and Luna—moped, I was over the moon.

Until one day turned into two, and two turned into five. That was when I decided I couldn't handle living in ignorant bliss.

"Where is he?" I asked my roommates when he still hadn't shown up to class the following week.

We were in the cafeteria for lunch. Ruka and Koko were sitting with us, but no one else had joined yet. Luna hadn't been around much, which I figured was because Natsume hadn't been around, and two birds with one stone worked for me.

"He's on an assignment." Sumire had been trying to hide it, but her worry had been deepening every day he was gone.

"I thought I was his assignment."

She shook her head. "You're not the only reason they've got their sights on the Organization. I don't know too much about it, just that Natsume's their most valuable asset against the Organization. He does other things to try to weaken them."

"Because he can burn things?"

She cast me a sidelong glance. "Something like that."

"Is he usually gone this long?"

Anna shook her head, and that was Sumire's cue to get up, her plate still half full, grumbling, "I'll see you guys later."

I watched her leave the cafeteria with my mouth hanging open. "She really likes him, huh?"

Anna sighed, taking another bite of her sandwich before offering the rest to me, which I declined. "Yeah. She's been crazy about him for years. I honestly don't get it. She knows he's slept with half our class, and that he sleeps with Luna on a regular basis, and I know it bugs her, but she just can't let him go."

"How could he not like her, though?" I said with a snort, motioning after her. "She's beautiful, sassy, strong. Isn't she kind of Natsume's type?"

"Not according to Ruka," she replied somberly. "Natsume sees her as a friend and it ends there. Honestly I think that's better for her. Natsume's a good guy, but not the guy for Sumire. He's not the long-term relationship type. And this kind of facility isn't the place for something not to work out. She'd see him all the time. It would break her heart."

I narrowed my eyes. "You really think he's thought all that through? I thought that guys our age only think with their little head, if you know what I mean."

Ruka leaned forward to see around Hotaru. "Mentally, Natsume is at least 27. He thinks everything through."

"How come you're not worried?"

He shrugged. "I've known Natsume since we were kids. He can handle whatever it is they have him doing. It's probably just surveillance. I have a bit of news that'll take your worrying minds off of it."

"I'm not worried," I protested.

"Wakako can't read your mind." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "How 'bout them apples?"

Anna frowned. "What? Why not?"

"I overheard her talking to Luna about it," Koko piped up. "She said thoughts usually just come to her if she thinks about it. She said with you it's like trying to look through frosty glass."

I pursed my lips, digesting that information. "That's pretty cool. Maybe it's because I haven't been exposed to alices for very long." I shrugged. "I honestly don't even care why. I'll take it."

Natsume appeared in class the next day, which I chalked up to good timing. Since it was a Friday, exactly my third Friday at Alice Academy, I was surprised he showed up at all.

He hadn't been there for breakfast, so when we walked into class and saw him already sitting in his seat, Sumire seemed to melt into a puddle of relief beside me, but she only nodded at him in acknowledgment as she went to her seat. Kudos to her for keeping her cool, because Luna certainly wasn't keeping her cool. She was practically hanging off his arm, looking up at him with this cringe-worthy awestruck expression while Natsume looked like he wished he was still gone.

Even Anna, who was concerned about Natsume no more than she would have been concerned about me, seemed relieved to see him. She cast me a glance that I couldn't quite decode before departing to the other side of the classroom.

His gaze flickered to me as I walked down the aisle to my seat, and I looked away quickly. Then, realizing that probably made me look guilty of something, I forced a sarcastic smile and looked back up as I slid into my seat next to him.

"Where've you been?" I asked.

"Miss me, Legs?" he said, sounding bored.

"As if. I got a whole week off from getting my ass kicked. Everybody else seems to have, though. I'm just curious."

"It's none of your business."

"My legs are none of your business but that didn't stop you," I shot back.

He almost smiled. Almost.

"Just leave him alone," Luna snapped at me.

I spared her a glance and then looked back to Natsume, noticing that he looked kind of pale and wondering if that's how he always looked and I'd just forgotten in his absence. "If this is about the Organization, it kind of is my business," I muttered.

Even though I didn't know Natsume nearly as well as pretty much anyone else in the room, even I could tell that he was exhausted. Not only because of the colour of his face that made it look like the blood had all been drained out, but because of the way he sat a little less straight in his seat and the way his hand lazily played with his pen without actually writing anything down.

Not that I was paying attention to him in the least. I was just making observations.

"Stop making googly eyes at me, Legs," he said at one point.

"These are not googly eyes. These are googly eyes." I gave him my best impression of a love-struck school girl, making him snort. "But in all seriousness, you look pretty tired."

He turned his eyes on me, and I felt the full debilitating effects of his gaze that I assumed was the disarming factor that got him into every girl's heart—and pants. "So do you."

His observation surprised me, but I guessed it wasn't hard to see. Hotaru had noticed, and even my roommates had commented on my perpetual look of exhaustion—they blamed the excessive amounts of coffee.

I looked longingly down at my steaming cup of energy juice, which I'd topped up before leaving the dining hall and had yet to drink. I did not like Natsume in any way, shape, or form. Except to look at. He was cocky as hell and every time we spoke to each other I ended up with my feathers ruffled. And although I was fine with admitting that he looked like a god, he sure as hell didn't act like one.

But on the other hand, he was protecting me. Even I couldn't argue with the fact that that in itself was gallant. And whatever he had been doing while he was away, whatever had made him look so tired, was a result of making sure I was safe.

Sighing, I slid my coffee across the desk to him.

"You look like you need it more than I do," I said sadly when he looked at me, and then, to take my mind off it, "Hey, apparently Wakako can't read my mind. How cool is that? Now I can think mean things about her all the time."

"I doubt you thought about her at all in the first place," he replied.

"You're right. I was doing an awful lot of thinking about rainbows and unicorns."

"To hide the fact that you were thinking about me?"

I crinkled my nose. "Get off your high horse, asshole."

The interruption in my coffee-drinking routine proved to be more debilitating that I expected. The caffeine withdrawal hit me with an iron fist, and by the end of class I was regretting having a soft side and giving away my fix.

Sumire met me at the door. "You guys were sure friendly." She said it lightheartedly, but I sensed the meaning in her words.

"Bickering as usual," I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "He's the same ol' Natsume. Slightly paler, but same attitude."

"You gave him your coffee." I don't think she meant to sound accusing, but she did.

"Yeah, and do I ever regret that lapse in judgement. That's the last time I'm nice to someone. I'll see you at lunch. Mr. Meany is already on my ass about my grades so I cannot be late."

The hallways were still pretty crowded as I fought my way down them. As much as it sucked to have to elbow my way to my math class, the hallways always being in this state made it feel more like a regular high school.

Except it wasn't a regular high school, which I was reminded of when I bumped into a boy going the opposite way and felt the familiar sharp pain in my chest. To say that the feeling that followed felt like a shock would be an understatement. I felt as though I'd stuck a fork in a central power grid or something, and even though the contact with the boy was brief, it was enough to cause my entire body to cease as an electric current raced through me.

I saw stars, and I think a horrible gurgling sound came out of my mouth, but the next thing I knew, I was being lowered to the ground gently as my body jerked from the lingering shock.

"Holy shit," I gasped eventually.

"Sorry," I heard an unfamiliar voice say. "Didn't do it on purpose."

"Then how the fuck do you explain this?" a very angry Natsume snapped.

"I don't know man. I have to go to class."

I forced my eyes open, blinking against the stars that still blurred my vision, until Natsume's face became clear. He was crouched in front of me, still looking in the direction the boy had been walking.

"What was that?" I tried to say, but found that my lips weren't exactly receiving the commands my brain was sending.

He turned to look at me, and his signature smirk found its way back to his lips. "Walk much, Legs?"

I licked my lips and blinked a few times. "Real original. I think I just got electrocuted. It's like Mr. Meany knew I forgot to do my homework and sent a thundercloud to electrocute me. Is that what happened? Does Mr. Meany have that alice?"

"No." He grabbed my arm as he stood, forcing me to my feet and holding me steady until I proved that I wasn't going to fall over. "Electric alice."

I rolled my head from side to side. "That was a horrifying feeling. Thanks for not letting me fall on my face. That would have been extra embarrassing."

He turned and started walking towards the math classroom.

"Do you think that's a good enough excuse to miss math? Surely he can't be mad at me for missing class when I was just electrocuted. You'll cover for me, won't you?"

"No."

Groaning, I tried to hurry after him, stumbling the whole way until I was matching his stride. "See, those are the kinds of superpowers I was worried about."

"The only thing you should be worried about is Jinno." He disappeared into the classroom, leaving me outside to wonder what death would be like before I walked into the warzone.

Mr. Meany was not happy. He told me in the most threatening tone possible that I was expected to bring my grades up and if I didn't, I'd have to do find a tutor to help me. If I couldn't find one, he'd assign one to me.

By lunch time, I was still fighting off the lingering feeling of electricity running through me. I wasn't sure if that incident had concerned Natsume as much as it concerned me, but he waited for me outside the door at the end of class.

"That guy said he didn't mean to do that to me," I stated as he started walking next to me. "How does that work? Can people use their alices without trying?"

He glanced at me. "Apparently."

"You did."

His jaw flexed, and I realized I'd struck a nerve.

"I'm not mad," I added hurriedly. "I know you didn't mean to. I've had worse burns before. My house did explode, after all."

Apparently walking into the dining hall with Natsume, despite the nature of our relationship, was cause for staring. I ignored the eyes that swung to us and made a beeline for the coffee machine.

"You have a problem," Sumire informed me, joining me at the buffet line and eyeing the cup in my hand. "You're an addict."

"I can tell you one thing; that's the last time I give my coffee to anybody out of the kindness of my heart."

My appetite came and went as it pleased. That day was a day I was feeling particularly ravenous, and so I grabbed a burger and a mountain of salad and followed Sumire back to our spot.

Luna and I had spent the last few days without incident. She'd been too busy worried about Natsume and I'd been too busy wondering why everyone was worried about Natsume. Our streak of ignoring each other seemed to have ended, though, now that he was back.

"He's not interested in you," she said snidely from across the table as we sat. Natsume wasn't sitting yet, which is probably why she used to opportunity to attack me.

I took a bite of my burger. "That's good, because I'm not interested in him either. That could have been awkward."

"I saw you making eyes at him in Bio this morning."

"If by 'making eyes' you mean having a conversation, then yes, I was making eyes at Natsume this morning."

Sumire snorted beside me.

Luna glanced at Wakako, who was staring at me intently. Then she frowned and shook her head at Luna. Luna shot me one last glare and then turned her award-winning smile on Natsume as he sat next to her.

I grinned smugly, thinking about throwing my burger in her face and knowing she couldn't read my thoughts.

Waiting for last period when I assumed Natsume was going to enlighten me on my situation was agony, and as the day went on, I began to worry he wouldn't tell me anything at all. I was half prepared to make a break for Mrs. Yamada's office when I walked into the gym, but he looked up upon my arrival and motioned me over.

"So," I said when he didn't give any indication of starting off the conversation. "How was your trip?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "They think you have an alice that might be useful to them."

I snorted. "Well, they're a little off base. I'm telling you, if I just go knock on their door, let them do their thing to find out if I have an alice or not, they'll figure out I don't and I can go back to living my life pretending I have no idea that superpowers exist. Which means I probably don't even need this combat class today."

He stepped onto the mat, and nodded for me to do the same. "That won't work, because if you walk over there and knock on their front door, they'll find exactly what they're looking for."

"An alice I don't have?"

"You have an alice, Legs."

I laughed. "Don't be absurd." When he only raised an eyebrow, the smile dropped off my face. "You've got to be kidding. Did you hit your head while you were out there? I think you're confused."

"Wakako can't read your mind."

"So? Maybe she's a little rusty. Maybe I'm very close-minded because I was never exposed to alices until recently. Besides, how would they know I had an alice if I don't even know?"

"Izumi might've known, and they might've found out through him."

The mention of my dad's name still felt like a knife nicking my heart. I tried to swallow the feeling. "You think my dad would tell the bad guys something like that? And not the good guys?"

"He wouldn't have to tell the Organization. He was working for them. If he found out, they could have coerced him to tell them, or found out by doing what Wakako does. I don't know why he wouldn't have told us. Or you garnered the Organization's attention because your dad didn't tell them about you, and then they found out, which is what we originally thought."

I folded my arms over my chest. "Okay, pretending I think anything that you're saying is remotely reasonable, what does Wakako not being able to read my mind have to do with anything? And how on earth would my dad know something like that if I didn't even know?"

"You have an immunity alice. A nullification alice. Alices don't work on you. If you didn't have any knowledge of alices in the first place, you'd never know you had one."

"Except yours worked on me. Anna's worked on me. That guy in the hallway a couple hours ago literally tried to zap the life out of me. You have one example of an alice not working on me. There could be a hundred other relevant factors."

"One of the men at the hotel when I found you," he began.

"Go-Go Gadget Arms?"

"No, the other one."

I nodded, remembering. "Baldy."

His eyes flashed with amusement. "His alice is compulsion."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning he tells you to do something, you do it. But you didn't. You showed them you had an alice. That's probably how they found out."

I recalled running down the hallway, Baldy yelling at me to stop, and wondering if he actually thought that would work. Apparently he really did expect it to work.

"I didn't hear him," I tried.

"Legs."

I clapped my hands over my ears and turned towards the doors. "Nope. I'm not listening anymore. You're wrong, they're wrong, everybody is wrong. I do not have an alice, and most certainly not a unique one. The Organization is off their rocker."

I didn't get very far before he was grabbing me by the elbow and turning me back around. For perhaps the first time since I'd met him, his gaze was gentle. Disarming.

"You can pretend all you want," he said. "But you have an alice. And the Organization knows it."

"Which means they won't stop looking for me until they have me or they're gone," I finished for him.

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes locked on mine. "You're safe here. It would be in your best interest not to go blabbing about this to everyone in the school. Teenagers are stupid; you might end up getting hurt."

I strolled back over to the mat on legs that had turned to Jell-O and sat down, crossing my legs and propping my elbows up on my knees and then cradling my chin on the bridge I created with my fingers, staring at the wall and listening to Gary tell me how to control my breathing.

"Guess I probably need that lesson after all," I mumbled eventually.

"Go back to the dorm. We'll start fresh on Monday."

I glanced up at him. "How did you burn me?"

He held my gaze for a moment, and then sat down on the mat across from me. "I don't know. My best guess is your alice is untrained, and that it affects other alices adversely."

"What is your alice, exactly?"

I think I expected it, but the feeling of the boot slamming down on my chest was a surprise nonetheless when he held his hand out in front of him and a small ball of flame appeared.

I turned my eyes to the ceiling and laughed loudly. "The last ten minutes have been a little overwhelming. I need a moment." I wobbled over to the door, feeling as though I were hanging on the edge of a cliff, about to fall off even though I'd spent the last couple weeks hanging on for dear life.

Of course I would be hunted down by some weird organization, and of course Natsume would be the best one suited to protect me. And of course his alice would be the very embodiment of the thing I feared most, the thing that had torn my life to pieces and landed me here in the first place.

I ran the rest of the way back to the dorm, my heart in my throat and at my feet at the same time. I barely made it into my room before the dam broke, and I collapsed onto the floor, my back against the door. The tears came shortly after, and the tears turned into sobs, and before I knew it, I was spiralling out of control.


	5. Capsize

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I'm fine  
_ _Drop tears in the morning  
_ _Give in to the lonely  
_ _Here it comes with no warning  
_ _Capsize  
_ _I'm first in the water  
_ _Too close to the bottom  
_ _I'm right back where I started  
_ _Said I'm fine_

-Capsize  
Frenship

After I pulled myself out of my panic attack, I cleared my mind enough to consider my options with a level head.

Natsume could be mistaken. The evidence backing up his theory was severely underwhelming, whereas the evidence against it was stacked up. That was the option that was most enticing to me, because it meant I still had a shred of normalcy in my life.

However, I also had to consider that Natsume didn't seem like the type of person to make unfounded deductions about anything. He seemed like the type that didn't like to be wrong, so the type to do his research before spouting off nonsense. Which meant I had to consider that there was absolutely nothing normal left in my life.

Anna came home before Sumire did, something I was glad for. She was more compassionate than Sumire, and I was sure that, although Natsume had probably told her what had happened, she wouldn't press me for details.

She knocked on my door before poking her head into the room. "Hey, Mikan," she said gently. "Just wanted to check in and make sure you're feeling okay. I brought you a coffee."

I lifted my head from my pillow and smiled at her, knowing she could see the puffiness of my eyes and grateful that she didn't ask about it. "Thanks, Anna."

She walked into my room and placed the mug down on my bedside table. "Come get me if you want to talk, okay? I'll be in my room."

After I heard her door shut, I got up to splash cold water on my face, hoping to eliminate the evidence of my meltdown. Then I stared hard at my reflection, telling myself that my dad would have expected me to maintain some shred of composure through all of this. I was a super-spy's daughter, after all.

"The Young Man and the Lion, Mikan," I whispered to my reflection. "We had better brave our troubles bravely than try to escape them." It was very much like my father to have shared a book such as Aesop's Fables with me throughout my childhood, ingraining in me the lessons they taught, so that he could continue to console and encourage me even from the grave.

First I went for another short jog, then I changed into my favorite pair of yoga pants and my dad's old sweater and went in search of Natsume. After asking Sumire, who said she didn't know where he was and tried not to look suspicious while saying it, I went to the most obvious place.

Hotaru opened the door when I knocked. I was only a little surprised to see her blank face staring at me as if I had committed a huge injustice by knocking.

"Hey, Hotaru," I said as cheerfully as I could manage. I thought it sounded pretty convincing.

"You need to eat," was all she said, brushing past me.

I stared after her for a moment. She'd left the door open upon her departure, and I made eye contact with Ruka inside. He mouthed, "That means join her for dinner," at me, and I took off after Hotaru.

"Is Ruka your assigned Protector?" I asked, and then when she gave me a look, I amended, "Are you Ruka's assigned Protector?"

"Ruka is mine. I don't need his protection, though. He can't do half as good of a job as I can."

"What's your alice?"

She cast me a sidelong glance, gauging my reaction when she said, "I'm an inventor."

I frowned. "That's an alice?"

"Yes."

"What kind of things do you invent?"

"Weapons."

I nodded in understanding, grateful that Hotaru's alice seemed less far-fetched than many of them and recognizing the value in an ability to invent weapons. "Has the military tried to recruit you?"

"They use several of my inventions. It's the militaries of the other countries that have caused concern in the past, and why I'm stuck here with Ruka." Her words were razor sharp, but her tone conveyed the depths of her feelings for him. It wasn't just a show; I was certain of that.

The dining hall wasn't particularly busy when we walked in, and we were able to easily find a spot to sit. Hotaru had loaded her tray with crab—the fact that the school provided crab for dinner was another wonder—but still had the audacity to scold me on the French fries and burger I slapped on my plate, followed by the slice of pizza and a small brownie for dessert.

"You're eating just as much as I am," I growled at her.

"I'm well fed. Your appetite can't make up its mind. You need consistency or you're just going to make yourself sick."

I looked at my plate, knowing she was right. Grumpily, I picked up a French fry and popped it in my mouth, making a face at her as I did so.

She rolled her eyes at me. "You have an appointment with Mr. Narumi tomorrow at noon in his office."

I choked on another French fry. "What?"

"It's difficult to watch TV when you're crying loudly right next door. I took the liberty of booking you in with Mr. Narumi. He sounded pleased."

I scowled at her. "I'm sorry my emotional meltdown inconvenienced you." Somehow, though, I couldn't be mad at her, or even hurt. Something told me this was the biggest show of concern I'd ever see from her.

Nonoko, Anna, and Sumire eventually joined us for dinner. Nonoko, who was one of Luna's roommates, had been driven out of the room by Luna's loud love-making sounds, which told me where Natsume was. Nonoko was nice, unlike Luna and Wakako, and so similar to Anna that I thought they could be twins. Anna didn't mention the state she'd found me in earlier.

"Hey Sumire, what's your alice?" I asked when the conversation was loud enough that no one else would overhear me.

She turned to me, surprised. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"You're my secondary Protector. I think it would be good to know what kind of superpowers I have in my corner."

"I can render someone unconscious by touching their head. What's with the sudden interest?"

I nodded absently, contemplating whether I should ask her to test it on me. Deciding I wasn't interested in Natsume's wrath if I went that route, I said, "No reason. I'm going to go get some homework done."

"We were all going to go hang out with the guys and watch a movie," Anna piped up. "Do you want to come?"

I shook my head. "I have a math test on Tuesday. I should try and study."

Instead of studying in the dorm room, I headed to the common area, where I hoped I'd be able to spot Natsume if he came around. Soon, though, I was so immersed in my book—and mere seconds away from slamming my head on the table in frustration—that I wouldn't have noticed him anyway.

Someone sitting down in the empty seat across from me drew me out of the pages. I looked up and smiled. "Hey, Tsubasa."

"You look busy," he stated.

"Just studying. What's up?"

He motioned to my coffee cup, which was nearing empty. "Want another?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

When he returned, I sat back in my seat and closed my book, deciding now was as good of time as any for a break.

The conversation between us was easy and comfortable. He asked how I was adjusting, how I liked my classes, how I felt about Natsume as a trainer…

The last question gave me pause. I'd gotten the feeling that Tsubasa was jealous of Natsume before, but I could feel it emanating off him now. Maybe Tsubasa had once upon a time been the best.

"He's good," I said dismissively. I wasn't about to tell him that I thought Natsume was Satan in training classes. "Gets the job done."

His brows furrowed with concern. "He's not too rough with you? I've seen a couple of your sessions. It looks rough."

"The way he sees it, if I'm ever in a position where I need to use whatever he's teaching me, it's going to be rough." I thought of Go-Go Gadget Arms pulling my legs out from underneath me and crinkled my nose in distaste.

"I'm just saying that he's got a lot on you," he elaborated. "He's bigger, stronger, his alice is dangerous…"

"Not that he'd ever use his alice on me," I scoffed, and then added, "Intentionally."

"I'm actually surprised he's in his senior year. I would have thought they'd have to hold him back." His tone was conversational, but I knew he wanted me to ask what he was talking about. Because I was curious, I played along.

"What do you mean?"

Tsubasa shrugged one shoulder, playing it off. "Guess no one's told you. He was gone for a couple of months. Most people just assume he was on a special assignment, because that's what the teachers said. He didn't get back until the summer."

Trying to keep my composure over the knowledge that he'd been gone for months, I said, "I'm sensing a 'but.'"

"But," he acquiesced, "I think he was captured by the Organization."

I couldn't help but snort. "Yeah, right."

He kept a straight face. "Hear me out. He's been going on assignments for as long as I've been here, and he'd never been gone for more than a couple of weeks, and he was always caught up on school work meaning he had time to do it. And then suddenly he vanishes for three months, nobody will talk about it, and when he comes back he spends most of his time playing catch-up, smoking, and drinking."

While I wondered about the drinking, I decided to leave it for now. "He's, like, a god," I protested. "The Organization couldn't catch him."

"It would explain why the Organization is suddenly the main focus."

I had no intention of telling him that that could possibly have something to do with me, especially not after what I'd learned about myself earlier. I was still skeptical about possessing an alice, but Natsume also didn't seem to be wrong often.

"What's _your_ alice?" I asked brazenly, desperate for a subject change

He grinned, the smile stretching nearly from one ear to the other. "Want to see?"

Too polite to say no, I nodded quickly with a giant fake smile plastered on my face.

He stood, but thankfully that's as far as he got before I heard my name being called from across the room. Well, not my name, but my infamous nickname that immediately alerted me to the identity of the person, as if his deep, manly voice didn't do that on its own.

I turned around and Natsume nodded his head towards the door, indicating I was to follow him.

Sighing, I turned back to Tsubasa. "Sorry, looks like the boss needs me."

"You could blow him off?" he suggested.

"And suffer the consequences of that in training next week? No, thank you!" I gathered my books and gave him a wave over my shoulder. "See you later!"

Natsume was waiting for me outside the door when I bounded out into the cool night. It was almost eight, and the sun was already behind the wall, casting an orange glow over the campus. He glanced down at me, and I read the question in his eyes.

"I'm fine. Had a freak out. Are you really that surprised? And I'm not scared of you, by the way. It was just a stress reaction. Where are we going?" I asked as he started down the pathway.

"Principal wants to see you."

"Uh oh. I've never been sent to the principal's office before."

He was silent for awhile as we walked, and it took me a moment to realize he was angry. Taking advantage of the silence, I brainstormed reasons he could possibly be mad at me.

Eventually, when the silence got too heavy and I could literally _feel_ the anger wafting off of him in waves of heat, I sighed in defeat. "Why're you mad?"

"What were you doing with Tsubasa?" he said before the words had even finished leaving my mouth.

Taken aback, I looked up at him. "Having coffee?"

His eyes slid down to the cup in my hand. Before I could blink, he'd plucked it from me and thrown it into the garbage can we were passing.

I stopped walking, staring after him with my mouth hanging open in horror. "What the hell was that for?"

"You drink too much of that," he said as he continued to walk.

Looking longingly at the garbage can, I wondered if it would be worth it to try and dig it out. Deciding that garbage-flavoured coffee wasn't worth it, I stormed after him, contemplating swatting him with my heavy math book.

"You weren't saying that earlier when I was giving you a cup out of the kindness of my heart because you looked tired," I grumbled. "What's your deal with Tsubasa? Why is Tsubasa coffee evil coffee?"

"You were going to let him use his alice on you," he accused. "After what we talked about this afternoon."

I held up a finger in protest. "I was just about to tell him no when you showed up."

"You shouldn't have let it get that far."

A smile pulled at my mouth. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous." Except I did know better. "Let's just settle with agreeing that I'm an idiot and it's a good thing you showed up when you did. Do you know what his alice is?"

"He can manipulate shadows."

"That doesn't sound too bad. A little creepy, but not bad."

He threw me a sharp glance, and I didn't argue further.

When we got to the office building, I hopped up the step, excited for Mrs. Yamada to confirm that Natsume was crazy and that I didn't have an alice. I pulled the door open for him, bowing dramatically, but he just grabbed it above my head and waited for me to enter before following behind.

"Such a gentleman."

The girl at the desk was a different one than the last time I'd barged in here looking for an update, but she still seemed to melt at Natsume's appearance.

"Do you ever get tired of that?" I whispered as we walked up the stairs. "Women turning to mush around you?"

"Yes."

"I must be refreshing."

Upstairs, Kaoru Yamada was sitting behind her desk, focused intently on the computer. I was surprised that she was still there, to be honest, but I also wasn't sure if she ever left her office. Maybe she had a murphy bed somewhere.

She glanced up upon our arrival, offering us a smile that couldn't disguise the exhaustion that was there. "Mikan. Thank you for coming. Natsume." When she looked at Natsume, the exhaustion seemed to thicken. And then I realized I was looking at worry. "I trust you're feeling well."

"I gave him my coffee this morning," I informed her. "It set him up for a great day."

She tried to smile at my attempt at lightening the mood, but the look of concern didn't leave her face. "Have a seat, both of you. Natsume, I finally had a chance to read your report from your assignment. I'm disappointed you didn't come straight to me with these discoveries."

"You looked busy," was the only explanation he gave.

"Very well." She turned her attention to me. "According to Natsume's report, the Organization drew conclusions on the basis of you not being affected by one of their members' alices. Natsume drew the same conclusion that night, but kept it to himself until he was sure."

"Yeah, he thinks I have an alice. _I_ think he's lost his mind."

Mrs. Yamada didn't appear to share the same sentiments as I did. "I believe he's right, and I'm ashamed that I didn't see it sooner."

I looked between Mrs. Yamada and Natsume. Mrs. Yamada continued to stare at me with a slight wrinkle of a frown between her eyebrows, and Natsume remained with his eyes on her, expression unreadable.

Managing an uncomfortable laugh, I shifted in my seat. "Look, I'm still not sure I've even come to terms with the fact that superpowers supposedly exist. I don't know how you expect me to believe I have one—especially the one Natsume says I do—when he accidentally burnt me and that kid in the hallway accidentally electrocuted me."

Mrs. Yamada shot Natsume an alarmed glance.

"As it said in my report, she seems to be hypersensitive in some cases," he said calmly. "Which is why this is a problem."

"What you have is physical evidence that alices do work on me and circumstantial evidence that they don't," I insisted.

Without any warning, Natsume held his out to me. I expected the flame to appear, but I wasn't able to keep the breath from seeping out of me.

"Natsume, is this really necessary?" Mrs. Yamada said in exasperation. "Your alice-"

"I'm not scared of you," I interrupted when I found my voice again. The foot had eased up off my chest a little.

"Even though I threatened to break your neck?"

"That feels like a decade ago and honestly, there's a difference between being scared of you and thinking you're an asshole." Natsume pissed me off almost every time he opened his mouth, but I couldn't pretend having him around didn't make me feel safer.

He looked from me down to the surreal ball of flame in the palm of his hand, then back to me. "Put it out."

"I thought we determined yours is one of the alices I'm sensitive to."

"Put it out, Legs."

"I swear to God, if you burn me, I'll kick your ass so hard your great-great-great grandfather will feel it," I growled, and then, because I trusted the asshole, reached out for the flame, watching as it disappeared under my fingers, the heat never touching me, until my fingertips were resting on his warm palm.

Immediately, I narrowed my eyes. "You could have done that yourself."

"What would I have to gain by pretending you had an alice?"

He had me there. "I don't know, maybe to torment me? _Or_ you're secretly in love with me and this is your way of making sure I have to stay here."

Mrs. Yamada was sitting behind her desk looking pale and stricken. We were oblivious to her as we argued, but the minute I turned to look at her, my insult to Natsume died on my lips.

"You recognize the severity of this situation," she said to Natsume, who had also turned his attention back to her.

" _What_ severity?" I demanded. "As far as I can tell this is the most useless alice on the planet. Which is quite fine with me, to be honest."

"Mikan, your alice is rare. Or it appears to be rare because it could, as we have seen, so easily have gone undetected. Regardless, in _our_ world, an immunity alice is very rare, and very useful.

"Think of it from the perspective of the Organization. They're a rogue government group that is trying to come to power, and to come to power they are going to have to fight battles against the government and the people that support the government. The problem is, their numbers are small compared to the community of alice-holders that do not support them. In other words, they're outmatched."

I shook my head. "That doesn't explain how my so-called alice is of any use."

She sighed, pursing her lips in thought, before continuing. "When new sicknesses and viruses threaten humanity, what does modern science do?"

"Create vaccines?" I offered, unsure of where she was going.

"And vaccines allow people who would normally be susceptible to the virus to build an immunity to it," she explained. "Do you see where I'm going?"

I didn't respond, even though I did see where she was going.

"The Organization has an interest in utilizing your alice for defensive purposes," Natsume finished for her. "If they're immune to alices, but we are not immune to theirs, they're granted the upper hand. You're the vaccine."

For a long few seconds, I focused solely on my breathing. In, out, in, out, in, in…

Mrs. Yamada stood up in alarm as the hysterics kicked in, but Natsume was already at my side, like he had on that very first day, guiding my head down to rest between my knees as I breathed too quickly for my brain to keep up.

In that second of hysteria, I decided he wasn't so bad.

Until he muttered, "Drama queen," just loud enough for me to hear.

"S-shut u-u-up," I gasped. "T-they're really g-g-going to wa-want me n-n-now, right?"

Mrs. Yamada's voice was grim when she said, "Yes, we expect them to mobilize a plan sooner rather than later."

I pinched my eyes shut, trying to think calming thoughts. First I tried thinking of my dad, but since he was the root of all these problems, I had to try something else. In the end, I ended up thinking of Sumire and Anna, and maybe Hotaru after our bonding moment that afternoon, the closest things I had to family. Thinking of their acceptance of me without second thoughts brought a blanket of calm over me, and while tears still leaked from behind my closed eyelids, I took my first calm breath.

"I'll be ordering increased detail at the gate, and high-ranking Protectors will be given shifts to scout the perimeter. I want you to know that our wall is not our only line of defence. We have a guard at the gate, as well as a shield that was designed to not only disguise the school, but to protect it. No one will be breaching these walls."

I wanted to believe her, but based on the unreal nature of everything that was my life right now, I had to leave room for doubt.

"Just remember, Natsume is the best we have. He will know where you are at all times, and I think you know how seriously he takes his job."

Without any further conversation, we were dismissed. Mrs. Yamada told me to keep my alice on the down-low for as long as possible, as the sensitivity was a problem, and then assured me that she was there to talk if I ever needed it. My legs had gone weak again, but I was determined not to crumble in front of Natsume.

I left the office first, and Natsume wasn't far enough behind me that I didn't hear Mrs. Yamada ask him again if he was feeling okay. He probably nodded, since I didn't hear a response, before I heard him following me.

We got to the top of the stairs before I whirled around. "How did you know you weren't going to burn me?"

"As far as I can tell, your alice is linked to your stress levels. The more stressed out you are, the more sensitive you are to offensive alices. Considering how often you freak out, the risk is high. You were calm enough in there—for once—that I didn't see it being a problem."

Before he had even finished his sentence, satisfied with his answer, my hand shot out to smack him in the abdomen. "You called me a drama queen."

I didn't hit him hard, which was why I was surprised when he winced. He tried to hide it, but my strike was unprecedented so he wasn't prepared. The minute he saw the suspicion on my face, he tried to brush past me.

Recalling Mrs. Yamada's concern, I did something that, had any of the other girls in this school seen, I could see their sneers as they whispered, "Of course she couldn't resist him." I ripped the front of shirt up, mostly expecting to just see skin and being more than off-put when I actually saw an elaborate maze of gauze and bandages.

Clearly annoyed, he reached for my wrist. His deduction about my alice was confirmed as my anxiety spiked and his skin singed mine, but I hardly noticed. Tears were jumping to my eyes for a whole other reason.

"What the hell happened?" I exclaimed, reaching for his shirt again.

This time, he tried just stepping back and out of my reach, but there was a wall behind him so he didn't have far to go. I brushed my fingers over the bandages, feeling the burning of my fingertips where they touched his skin, but oblivious to the pain. One of the bandages was dark with blood, the wound underneath apparently not healed.

"Legs," he said, the warning in his tone. When I appeared not to hear him, he grabbed me carefully by the shoulders, where I was protected by my sweater, and pushed me gently away from him. When I finally looked up to meet his eyes, I saw how disturbed he was, and I knew immediately why.

"It's fine," I said, dropping my burnt wrist and fingertips out of his sight. "It didn't hurt. What happened to you?"

"Will you stop touching me if I tell you?"

" _Yes_."

"I was shot."

I don't know exactly what I was expecting him to say, but because that wasn't exactly at the top of the list, I felt the crushing weight of horror drop down on me. "They _shot_ you?"

"Yes."

"And you're just going to pretend that that's _not_ a huge deal?"

"It's not a huge deal. It happens."

I stared at him for a few long seconds, waiting to see if he was pulling my leg. When it became clear that he wasn't, emotion bubbled to the surface. "It _happens_? _It happens_? No it freaking doesn't! You don't get to get _shot_ and then act like it's an everyday occurrence and not a big deal!"

My flailing must have been making him nervous, worried I'd touch him again and in my worked-up state manage to burn myself again. Whatever it was, he grabbed me by my arms, pinning them to my sides and pushing me against the wall behind me.

"It's my job, Legs. It does happen. To me. And you have enough to worry about without adding me to the list. It doesn't concern you."

"Yes, it does," I retorted. "It has everything to do with me."

It probably wasn't his intention, but the simple act of pinning me to the wall had effectively distracted me. My hormones must have been doing a funny thing, because for a moment I was picturing the muscles I knew ran across his arms and chest and back, not to mention the tightness in my chest that for once wasn't due to anxiety. What a rollercoaster of a day.

He must have noticed the look on my face, because his signature smirk found his lips. "I thought you were supposed to be refreshing."

I swatted his hands away, glowering. "I'm still a girl and you're still a good-looking guy. Go away. I've had enough of you for today."

Unfortunately, since we lived in the same building, I had the whole walk back to the dorm with him, effectively making any attempt to forget about what I'd just seen futile. I walked—or stomped—quickly, but his long stride matched my pace easily.

We didn't speak, and the longer the silence lasted, the heavier it got.

"Stop worrying about it," he said eventually.

"Alright, sure, I'll just forget about the fact that you got freaking _shot_." I stormed up the stairs to the front door of the dorm and yanked it open with unnecessary force. "Aren't you going to go get that checked out? One of your bullet holes in bleeding."

"You're upset," he observed.

I shot a glare over my shoulder. "Oh, what tipped you off?"

"The conspicuous dirty looks you keep giving me. It's not a big deal."

Gritting my teeth, I stopped and turned to face him. "Maybe it's not, because you're still walking and being sassy and-"

"You're the only one being sassy."

"-you're in a place where people can _heal_ you—although obviously not very well—but the fact that you think it's in any way normal to get shot is what I have a problem with. Those assholes are going to get an earful from me if they ever get their hands on me."

"No one is getting their hands on you."

"What do you even have to _do_ for that to happen?" I gestured to his chest. "What does the school have you _doing_ for that to happen?"

"I tried to get into their compound."

I studied him for several long, tense seconds. When he didn't give me any sign of elaborating, I demanded, "For what purpose? Gonna break in there and kill them all? Was that your plan?"

That was when he decided he'd had enough of me for the evening. Instead of responding, he brushed past me, heading for the stairs.

I took a couple of deep, calming breaths before I turned and ran after him. "You know where their compound is? Can I come?"

"It won't work, Legs. They already know you're valuable. All you going and knocking on their door will accomplish is giving them proof."

"Is there any way to get rid of alices?" I asked. When he turned his piercing gaze on me, I hesitated. "Everything in my life right now feels really heavy. And I'm not really sure if I can carry this, too."

He stopped walking and visibly sighed. "You're going to have to carry it. This is your reality now."

That night, I tossed and turned in my sheets, drenched in cold sweat, forever trying to escape the nightmares of fire that licked at my skin and singed my hair and felt so real that when I opened my eyes I thought I could smell the smoke.

* * *

I thought about bailing on my appointment with Mr. Narumi the next afternoon, but Hotaru's cool stare at breakfast kept me from lingering on that thought for too long.

Sumire and Anna, who I was now convinced were not at all aware of what Natsume had told me the day before, both wanted to know where Natsume and I had gone together. Sumire was especially concerned, and I couldn't help but wince when I thought of what she might've said if she saw me pulling up Natsume's shirt like a crazy person. I was able to pass it off as a debriefing with the principal concerning Natsume's assignment that had yielded no results; I wasn't ready to face the fact that I apparently had an alice.

At noon, I dragged my feet to Mr. Narumi's office, which was in a building I hadn't been to before, across from the student dorms, where the teachers stayed. His office was one of many on the first floor, tucked away in the corner where I hoped we wouldn't be overheard.

Mr. Narumi looked up when I knocked, smiling gently—if not with slight surprise—when he saw me. "Mikan. I'm glad you could make it."

I flopped down in the chair across from his desk. "Hotaru didn't really give me much of a choice."

He frowned. "Did she threaten you?"

"She didn't have to." I clapped my hands together. "Alright. Let's get this over with. You're going to ask me about my feelings, right?"

Mr. Narumi leaned back in his chair, waves of calm wafting off his body. It was like I could physically feel myself getting calmer. "Slow down, Mikan. I'd like to start with you telling me how you're coping with the information you were given yesterday."

I struggled to keep my façade from cracking. "I'm fine." When he just silently studied me, I relented. "I'm coping. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. I'm not even sure I believe it."

"I understand your hesitance." He did end up asking me the questions I thought he'd ask. How I felt about things, how I was feeling now, was I angry, was I sad, was I depressed. The last one gave me pause, but I was pretty certain I wasn't depressed, just weighed down by grief. Mr. Narumi drew a similar conclusion.

"I suspect you have PTSD," he said eventually, eyeing me for a reaction but receiving none. "I expected it, after what you've been through, but I hope to help you understand it, and eventually conquer it. You've been having nightmares?"

"Nightmares, hallucinations. I don't know what you want to call them. They feel real. And they happen every night." I gestured to my face. "Hence the permanent bags under my eyes and my inability to go without at least five cups of coffee in a day."

He nodded. "Nightmares are a common symptom of PTSD. You'll also likely come across triggers in your day-to-day life. Especially considering Natsume's alice. I hope he doesn't subject you to it often."

"He doesn't. He just did yesterday because I asked. Did he tell you I freaked out?"

His smile was reassuring. "No one thinks you're acting irrationally, Mikan. You're doing remarkably well. And you hide your pain well. Hardly anyone here knows of the demons you battle every day."

"You make it sound gallant."

"It is. I know it sounds cliché, Mikan, but every day that you fight those demons—even if you don't always win—just shows how strong you are. You have been dealt an unsatisfactory hand, and you're not breaking."

"You say to the girl who had a complete meltdown yesterday."

His eyes twinkled. "You're allowed to crack every now and again without breaking. I know the grief can be overwhelming, Mikan. But I want you to know that it's going to get better. Not soon, not quickly. But it will. The waves will get farther apart, and you'll be underwater less and less. They'll still come, and you won't always see it coming. But they'll always pass, and you'll breathe again."

Mr. Narumi offered to have an anxiety medication made up for me—I wasn't sure what he meant by 'made up'—but I declined, certain I wasn't ready to resort to drugs just yet. When I left his office, still feeling oddly calm, I found myself relieved to be diagnosed with something real. If I could put a name to it, maybe I could wrangle it.

After my appointment with Mr. Narumi, I went in search of Anna and Sumire, remembering hearing them mention something about the Home Economics room before I'd left earlier. I didn't know where that room was, so I spent a little while wandering around the hallways until I heard a shriek that sounded an awful lot like Sumire down the hall.

Nonoko, Anna, Sumire, and Hotaru were all in the room. Koko and Ruka were there, too. I was surprised to find that I wasn't relieved to find Natsume wasn't absent. I wasn't torn up about it, but I wasn't relieved, either.

Sumire was staring at Koko with the rage of a thousand men, her face covered in white powder. If it had been possible, she would be on fire. Koko looked mischevious, not at all remorseful, and his hand was covered in white stuff. I deduced quickly that Koko had pelted Sumire with a handful of flour, which would explain why everyone else was in stitches—except Hotaru, who only had the hint of a smile on her delicate face.

I slipped into the classroom, unable to help but join in the laughter as Sumire spouted all kinds of vulgar language at Koko, oblivious to my entrance.

Anna and Nonoko were standing behind one of the counters. They were both wearing aprons, and I saw why when I spotted the massive chocolate cake in front of them.

"Hey, Mikan!" Anna greeted cheerfully. "We just pulled this guy out of the oven. Do you want a piece?"

I had to focus on keeping my jaw clenched shut to avoid drooling. "Do I ever," I mumbled, eyes never leaving the cake. Until Sumire shrieked again, and I turned around to see what she was spazzing over this time.

"Get that away from me!" she snapped at Koko, already running across the room like she'd seen a mouse. I followed her gaze—it was kind of hard to see where she was looking with all the flour on her face—but there was nothing on the floor where she was looking.

Koko was laughing hysterically now. "Sumire, you know it can't touch you."

"I don't care! Make it go away!"

"Koko, leave her alone," Ruka scolded.

"No, keep tormenting her," Hotaru insisted. She'd pulled out a camera and was taking a series of snaps of Sumire in her flour-covered, wide-eyed state.

I frowned. "What's he doing?"

"Koko can create hallucinations," Nonoko explained. "Only she can see it. Probably a big spider or something. Sumire hates spiders."

"It's a fucking _tarantula_ ," Sumire hissed. "Koko, I swear to God-"

"Okay, okay." He waved his hand, and Sumire's posture loosened. With one last glare at Koko, she stormed from the room, mumbling something about having a shower.

"Where've you been, Mikan?" Ruka asked innocently, oblivious to the sharp glare that Hotaru shot him. "You missed Koko's spot-on flour shot."

I waved my hand dismissively, trying to come across as blasé. "Mr. Narumi wanted to see me about an assignment I submitted last week. I didn't quite get the material, so he just went over it with me to make sure I got it." Anna handed me a plate with a massive piece of cake on it. It was layered, with thick icing in between each layer. She'd barely handed me the fork before I was shoving some into my mouth. "Where's Natsume?"

Several eyebrows shot up. I glowered at them all, and through a mouthful of cake, said, "I'm just curious. I'm not allowed to be curious?"

"Just didn't think you cared all that much," Ruka explained. "He's probably at the gym."

I wanted to assure them that I didn't care that much, but now that Natsume and I shared a secret about the possibility of me having an alice, I kind of felt like we had planted the seeds of some sort of friendly acquaintanceship.

"Anna, this cake is divine," I mumbled. "Where'd you learn to bake like this?"

She shrugged, hiding a smile. "It just sort of comes to me. I want to open a bakery one day."

"If you're making cakes like these, I'll most definitely be your number one customer. Just make sure you also serve coffee."

That seemed to remind her of something, and she suddenly clapped her hands together, eyes lighting up. "Ooh, that reminds me. We have some great news that is going to cheer you right up."

"First of all, I'm already in a pretty great mood today so I don't know what makes you think I need cheering up. Secondly, even if I was in a bad mood, this cake would have cheered me up. But I'm listening."

"It's our turn for an off-campus trip next weekend," she said, eyes sparkling.

I swallowed a thick piece of cake. "What?"

"Every weekend, they send 15 or so students for an outing for the day," Nonoko explained. "Next weekend is our turn."

"Are you sure I'm allowed to come?" I asked cautiously, remembering the imminent threat to my safety and trying not to get my hopes up.

"Ms. Yamada approved it herself," Koko confirmed. "Natsume will have to go, of course."

I silenced him with a frantic gesture, unable to contain my smile. "I don't care if Natsume has to pretend to be my boyfriend. We get to _leave_?"

Anna nodded vigorously. "We're going to this huge mall in the city that has an amusement park and a waterpark on the inside. We get to pick one or the other. We get kind of stir-crazy if we don't get out now and again."

"Juvenile," Hotaru scoffed.

Ruka elbowed her playfully. "You say that every time, but you enjoy yourself every time. Hotaru threw up-"

Hotaru elbowed him back about ten times harder, silencing him. "I did no such thing."

I had two more pieces of cake, despite the looks of horror I got from my friends, before helping Anna and Nonoko clean up the kitchen. Ruka and Hotaru left to get up to no good, and Koko said he was going to go pester Sumire some more.

"A bunch of us are going to play some volleyball after dinner," Nonoko mentioned. "Want to come?"

"Sure," I replied immediately, then added, "Is Natsume going?"

Anna and Nonoko exchanged glances. "If we say yes are you going to bail?" Anna asked.

"No." I hadn't seen Natsume today, and as much as it killed me to admit it, I was concerned about him. After seeing what his chest looked like, I was ready to fight tooth and nail for him not to go on any solo assignments, and I didn't want him sneaking away before I could do that.

"Something you want to tell us?" Anna pressed.

I smiled. "Nope. I can't hide from that asshole forever. My life is in his hands, after all."

Nonoko finished drying the cake pan and handed it to me to put away. "Have you found anything out about your situation?"

Instead of opening up and telling them just how screwy my situation had become, I just shook my head. "I'm sure they'll find something soon."

They told me I didn't have to wait for them to finish cleaning up, so I took the opportunity to head back to the dorm and maybe get a few hours of studying in before the volleyball game. I was thinking about Natsume as I walked, wondering if he'd be playing despite the state of his body, and wasn't pulled out of my thoughts until I smelled the faint scent of smoke.

It wasn't smoke like burning building smoke, so it didn't cause my heart to lurch or my stomach to sink or the boot to drop on my chest, but it did give me pause. And it did make my pulse quicken a little, which was interesting and a little unwelcome.

"Hey, Natsume," I chirped, spotting him leaning against the wall, cigarette in hand. "Still slowly giving yourself cancer, I see."

He studied me as I approached. "Didn't expect you to be so chipper."

"Mr. Narumi says I have PTSD. And anxiety. Feels good having a name to put to my mental deterioration, you know?" I plucked the cigarette out of his hand and took a drag. However, because I'd never smoked anything in my life before, all it resulted in was me doubled over trying to cough the vile substance out of my lungs. When I straightened again, Natsume was smiling.

 _Smiling_. Like a real, genuine smile that told me he was humored by my antics. And if that wasn't surprising enough, the way my body responded was. Heat pooled in my core, and it felt like all the blood had left my extremities, leaving a tingling sensation in its place.

"Sweet Jesus," I muttered, both in response to the tingling and to the taste the cigarette left in my mouth. "Hotaru said that smoking is a coping mechanism for you. What're you stressed about?"

He took the cigarette back from me, the smile fading; I resisted the urge to grab him by the cheeks and physically force him to keep smiling. "It doesn't concern you."

I clapped my hands together. "Okay, different question. How are you?"

He arched one perfect eyebrow.

"Anna and Nonoko said you're coming to play volleyball tonight. So you must be feeling better, right?"

"I feel fine."

"But, like, _really_? Like if I grope your chest again are you going to cringe?"

His lips curved, this time into his signature smirk. "Why don't you try?"

I fought the heat in my belly and rolled my eyes at him. "I suppose I'll find out later in volleyball. Hey, Natsume? Whatever you're stressed about," I motioned to the cigarette, "I'm here to talk if you need it. What kind of friend would I be if I unload all my problems on you and didn't offer you the same courtesy? I'm still mad at you though."

I turned to leave, forcing myself to act natural even though every cell in my body was energized from our short conversation. As if I didn't have enough to deal with at the moment.

* * *

A/N: Hi guys! I'm posting another update because I'll be pretty busy for the next week and won't be able to post one on Friday, so this will have to tide you over for a week or so :) Some of you may wonder why this chapter shares the same title as the story. There is no reason except that this chapter was already named when I published the story and I couldn't think of a title for the story so I just called it Capsize because I like the song. Also, I feel like the excerpt of the song that is at the beginning of this chapter really encompasses the emotional obstacles Mikan is battling in this story.

Until next time!


	6. If You're Going Through Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _If you're going through hell  
_ _Keep on going,  
_ _Face that fire,  
_ _Walk right through it,  
_ _You might make it out  
_ _Before the devil even knows you're there_

 _-_ If You're Going Through Hell  
Rodney Atkins

We went to the gym shortly after dinner. The evenings had grown cold, the air tonight crisp with the promise of snow. I tried not to think too much about the imminent snow—I didn't need any other factors contributing to my mood swings. It was already dark, the only light coming from the lamps that lined the path and the full, unhindered moon in the clear sky.

I zipped my jacket up to my nose and jammed my hands into my pockets, my gym bag smacking against my leg as we walked. "Who else is going?"

Sumire shrugged. "Just some people," she said absently. Surprisingly, she and Koko were still on talking terms. The shenanigans between them had been happening for several years, so she learned to accept that his harassment was part of her life. I didn't voice my opinion, but I was pretty sure Koko had a crush on her.

I narrowed my eyes. "That's awfully vague."

Anna looped her arm through mine. "It'll be fun. And you can use the fresh air. And the socialization. I'm worried you're becoming a hermit."

"I am a hermit."

"Well, you're not allowed to be. Not as our roommate."

By the time we walked into the school, I was debating taking a rain check on just-for-fun volleyball and going to get some more food and maybe a coffee instead, but Anna dragged me down the hallway towards the gym and shoved me inside before I could make a break for it.

All of the cloth dividers had been raised, making the gym just one huge space with a volleyball court set up right in the middle. I could see Mita, Ruka, Natsume, and Nonoko. Wakako was sitting on a bench on the sidelines, chatting with Koko, who had also decided not to play, apparently. Hotaru was on the sidelines, too, looking utterly uninterested. I did see Ruka wink at her, though, and she couldn't hide her small smile.

Sumire ushered us over to the change rooms. She reached for the door just as it swung open and Luna strode out wearing tiny spandex shorts that didn't fully cover her behind and a tank top that was both skin-tight and extremely low-cut. I got a face full of boobs as she strutted by with her usual cocky expression, stopping only to shoot Sumire a coy smile.

I rolled my eyes and pushed my way into the change room. "You're getting me to spend my spare time with Luna?"

Anna sighed. "She invited herself. It was Ruka's idea to do this and of course she heard it from somewhere and since Natsume is here she had to come."

I had played volleyball for my old high school, but I hadn't even touched a ball since the fire, so I wasn't confident that I would be any good. Now that I knew Luna was present, though, I felt like I couldn't put in half the effort unless I wanted her to mock me for my incompetency.

"Hey guys!" Mita chirped when we emerged from the change room. We were still several feet away, but her arms stretched out to grab Sumire and I by the arms and drag us across the gym with Anna trailing behind us.

Ruka and Sumire began organizing us onto teams while I tried to ignore Natsume, still not really sure what to make of the strange reaction to his smile earlier. He used the distraction of the rest of the group to wander over to me, probably because he could tell I didn't want to talk to him.

"What's with the sour look on your face?" he grumbled in his low, masculine voice, loud enough for only me to hear. A shiver escaped up my spine.

"I just remembered I'm still mad at you for getting shot. My good, understanding mood has worn off. Should you really be playing a physical sport in the condition you're in? You might pop your stitches."

He rolled his eyes. "I thought you were over this."

"I'm going to be mad about it for awhile. You're wearing a white shirt. Everybody will see when you start bleeding again."

"They've healed," he informed me.

I glanced up at him, my arms folded across my chest, skeptical. "I'm sure they have."

"Natsume, you're on that side," Ruka interrupted, pointing to the right side of the court. "Mikan, other side."

Natsume ended up on a team with Luna, Anna, and Nonoko, while I was on a team with Ruka, Sumire, and Mita.

"Remember people!" Ruka shouted. " _No_ alices. That's cheating. I'm looking at you Mita."

I watched Luna loiter as close to Natsume as she could without infringing too much on his personal space, occasionally spinning around to show off her derriere. It probably irritated me more than it did him, considering he was probably thinking about getting laid after the game. For some reason, thinking of that made my stomach flip upside down.

Ruka had won us first serve. I hung out on the back side of the court with him, thinking about dinner and wondering how low-key a just-for-fun volleyball game would be, and was answered by the ball coming back across the net at the speed of light after three hits from the other team. I was able to raise my arm in time to block the shot, sending the ball flying off to the side.

"What happened to just-for-fun?" I shouted across the court at Natsume, the guilty party. He just smirked at me, and I figured that was his way of showing me that he was healthy enough to play.

"Get your head in the game, Mik," Ruka scolded me, shoving me playfully.

"Alright, alright," I grumbled.

It definitely wasn't a competitive game, but I discovered that all the participants had some level of skill, so we were able to volley quite a few times. I tried to get Natsume back with a nasty hit, but it was easier to aim for the holes in the court since each side was two players short.

Mita tried to use her stretchy arms once, but Ruka—the stickler for rules—penalized her for it by giving the other team an extra point.

"It's just such a habit," she whined. "I can't help it sometimes!" As she said it, her arm snaked over to me and pinched my butt.

"Mita," Sumire chided, before sidling over to me. "I'll set you up. Aim for Luna."

Sumire, I learned, had played volleyball competitively for a few years before she ended up here, and kept up her skills with regular trips to the gym to practice. While my skills paled in comparison, my naturally long arms and ability to jump fairly high gave me good opportunities for good hits.

She went back to her position before I could bring her attention to the fact that Natsume was at the net opposite me, and his athletic ability was without a doubt better than mine. I sensed _I_ would be the one eating the ball.

Mita served the ball over, Nonoko received it, and Anna attempted to set it to Luna, but overshot it substantially.

I was following the ball through the air when the sounds in the gym vanished. Deafening quiet rippled through the room, knocking the breath out of me. At the same time, I felt a tidal wave of pressure crash into me, like I was walking through water at the bottom of the ocean. My chest tightened, and as I looked around in panic for an explanation, I saw my surroundings frozen, like they were merely a picture.

Not frozen, I realized as the pain in my chest amplified, splintering my body. They were moving very slowly, so slowly I wouldn't have noticed if Natsume hadn't been directly in front of me and in the midst of taking a step.

The slowness of everything else made the normal movement of Luna seem abnormally fast. I turned to look at her, took a step in the process, and her shocked gaze swung to me. The air seemed to swirl around her as she moved under the ball, but she stopped when she saw me move. Her mouth opened, but before she could utter a word, just as the pain in my chest became unbearable, everything snapped back.

The sudden noise, coupled with the feeling in my body, forced me to my knees as the people around me began to move again. Luna was still staring at me, letting the ball drop behind her while everyone else adopted a look of confusion. My stomach twisted, like I was strapped into a rollercoaster, and instead of continuing to try and discern what had happened, I made a beeline for the bathroom, where I emptied the contents of my stomach in the toilet.

The bathroom door opened shortly after. I hadn't closed the stall door, so whoever it was had a front row seat to me with my head in the toilet.

"What an unusual feeling," I muttered, willing my head to stop spinning.

I got a waft of Natsume's subtle, manly scent as he crouched down behind me. "Luna slowed time," he guessed. "And you didn't slow with it."

"I sure did not." Tears leaked from my closed eyelids. I wasn't sure if it was from the emotion beginning to stir or due to the fact that I always cried when I threw up. "I've felt that before, I think. Just not that bad. And never that long. I always thought I was just spacing out. We've got a bigger problem than my upside-down stomach, though."

"Luna knows what your alice is."

"Yep. And if Luna knows, everyone is going to know." I lifted my head out of the toilet to smile shakily at him. "What time is it? Did we even make it 24 hours keeping it a secret? Now the cat's out of the bag. Hey, can I tell Sumire and Anna before the find out from someone else?"

"They should know. Sumire is your secondary Protector. I'll talk to Luna."

I snorted. "As if that's going to be very effective. Thanks though, Natsume. Can you get out of here now? You're the last person I want to throw up in front of. Can you get Anna and Sumire? Better tell them now, just in case." When I heard him get up, I forced my head up again. "I'm glad you're better."

An expression I couldn't name passed over his face, and then he disappeared. Anna and Sumire came in shortly after, both looking concerned.

"What the hell happened, Mikan?" Sumire demanded. "I've never seen someone go from 0 to 10 on the sickness scale so fast."

"Have a seat, have a seat," I grumbled, turning over onto my butt so my back was against the toilet, close enough that I could still hit it if I needed to.

I explained to them slowly what had happened, starting with the meeting in Kaoru's office the day before and ending with the still-moving-while-Luna-slowed-time thing.

"That's why she looked so shocked," Sumire muttered. "She's probably never seen someone else move while she does it before." Her brows furrowed. "How often does she do it, I wonder?"

"Any amount is too often," I grumbled unhappily. "No one should have that much power."

Anna was wearing a concerned expression. "No one's ever come across an immunity alice at the school before."

"So I've heard."

"I'm more concerned about the fact that we are in the midst of immature teenagers who might try to see what you've got."

I waved my hand dismissively, though I'd been worried about the same thing. "Natsume's worried about that, too. But people don't mess with him. As long as he's around, I'll be okay. I think. Excuse me." I whirled around and threw up again. Goodbye, delicious turkey burger I'd had for dinner.

"Where did you go this afternoon?" Anna asked cautiously.

"Hotaru made me go see Mr. Narumi," I mumbled. My throat was feeling scratchy. "Apparently I have PTSD and anxiety. So if my sleep-talking and occasional screaming at night have bothered you, at least now we have a name for it."

They were silent for several long seconds. "Mikan, are you okay?" Sumire asked eventually.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"You've been dealing with a lot."

"Tell me about it."

Anna's hand touched my back. "How are you not freaking out more?"

I shot them a shaky smile over my shoulder. "You know what they say: if you're going through hell, keep on going and you might make it out before the devil even knows you're there."

"Who's that quote from?"

"Rodney Atkins. My dad liked country music."

* * *

I woke up early Sunday with a headache from hell and a hoarse throat, prompting me to stay in bed and study most of the day. Anna and Sumire thought it was because of the events of the day before, but I assured them it was strictly my health. Anna brought me a coffee. I wanted to kiss her.

The events of the previous day did flutter around my mind throughout the afternoon. There were a number of things to think about, after all. Natsume, for one. But I tried not to think about that. Luna was the other occupant of my thoughts. I knew Anna and Sumire had said that Luna could only slow and pause time briefly, but I couldn't help but ponder the possibility of reversing it. Was it possible with the right training? Could she take me back so I could save my dad?

I tried not to entertain the idea too long. Even if it were possible, I didn't have anything that Luna wanted to bargain with. And I could guarantee she wouldn't do it simply to be a good person.

The only time I left the room that day was to go for lunch with my roommates and Hotaru. I was a sniffly, nervous mess, but the looks that Sumire shot passers-by gave me a measure of comfort.

Hotaru slid into her seat next to Ruka. Koko was there, but Natsume wasn't. Because Luna was also absent, I assumed they'd decided to spend the afternoon doing what they did. The optimistic side of me, which was very small and often silent, hoped he was just talking to her like he said he would.

However, Sumire asked Ruka about Natsume's whereabouts, and instead we found out that he'd left the school grounds again. Sumire's shoulders visibly fell, and I felt a little annoyed.

"He just got back," I stated. "And he was not in good shape when he got back. Why the hell are they sending him out again?"

Ruka looked surprised. "What do you mean, he wasn't in good shape?"

"You're his roommate. How did you not notice?" I motioned to my abdomen. "He was all taped up."

Sumire shot me a look. "How did _you_ notice?"

"I smacked him, he flinched. I figured he was being a baby, but decided to double check and _voila_ , I get a front-row seat to his patchwork."

Ruka and Koko exchanged concerned glances, but Ruka quickly shook it off. "He said he'd be back tonight. Whatever he's doing, it doesn't sound particularly taxing. _You're_ not looking so hot, Mikan."

Hotaru narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. "Never tell a woman she doesn't look good." Then she turned to me. "You look like crap."

I pursed my lips. "Thank you, Hotaru."

"Does it have something to do with your episode last night?" Koko wondered.

Sumire threw a carrot at him, nailing him in the cheek. "Could you be any more insensitive?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "It's fine. I'm fine. People don't need to walk on egg shells around me. I'm just not feeling well today. I think I'm coming down with a cold."

I thought that was the end of it, but when I excused myself to leave, Ruka caught me by the elbow. When I looked at him, he looked concerned. It warmed my heart a little.

"Are you okay, Mikan?" he asked.

"Did Natsume tell you what happened?"

He hesitated a moment before nodding. "He wants me to keep an eye on you when he's not around. I know you don't want to be puppy-guarded, but I want you to know if you have any problems that you can come to me."

I sneezed. "That's very nice of you. But I'll be fine. Besides, he's only going to be gone today, right? I'm not leaving my room for the rest of the day."

Anna made me trade out my coffee for a cup of tea, and she offered me some cold medicine, but I declined. I was pretty sure I'd be better the next day anyway. Sumire left the room at some point and returned with news that Natsume had gotten back safely. I tried to act indifferent, but I was relieved on the inside. I wondered what he'd been up to, and made a mental note to make sure to ask him the next day.

* * *

Despite my positive attitude—I really thought the universe would send good vibes back to me—I got out of bed the next day feeling infinitely worse than before.

I wanted to stay home from school, partly because I figured word of my alice had probably spread by now and I didn't want to be a guinea pig, and partly because I felt like I was made of sludge.

Because I was especially sluggish, Sumire and Anna left without me, telling me to hurry up if I didn't want to be late. I bundled up in a long-sleeved knit T-shirt, a chunky sweater, and my faux leather jacket with a pair of leggings and my combat boots and grumbled my way to school. I knew I didn't have time for breakfast, which meant I didn't have time for coffee, which only added to my bad mood.

Natsume was my saving grace that morning. I didn't know if it was out of the kindness of his heart or to pay me back for last week, but when I got to class seconds before the bell rang, he slid a Styrofoam coffee cup across the desk to me.

"You are an _angel_ ," I groaned, wrapping my hands around the mug and inhaling the sweet smell of coffee beans.

He watched me as I took a long sip. "You look like shit."

"Thank you. You're so very kind." I let out a long, satisfied sigh before deciding my mood had improved enough to face him. "Where'd you go yesterday?"

His expression flickered briefly. "Nothing related to you. You're sick."

"Yep. It _happens_." With that, I tossed him an unamused look.

"You're not sleeping enough," he informed me.

I knew he was right, but I didn't think he understood the situation. "I don't think you understand the situation; I _can't_ sleep."

He almost looked concerned. "It's going to make you vulnerable."

"Tell that to my nightmares," I grumbled.

"Start with the coffee. You don't need 12 cups a day."

"Yes, I do," I argued. "I drink coffee because I can't sleep and am tired all the time, not the other way around. The not-sleeping started this cycle, not the coffee." It dawned on me then, and I felt the betrayal on my face. "This is decaf."

His lips turned up in that signature smirk.

"You are the _devil_ ," I mumbled, pushing the cup as far away from me as possible.

He turned out to be the devil in more ways than one. That night, Sumire and Anna were trying to help me study for my math test the following day, but neither of them were taking math until second semester so they were guessing their way through it as much as I was. As if that wasn't bad enough, I learned that the state of Natsume's body, whether it was completely healed or not, didn't seem to affect his _abilities_ and also didn't seem to deter Luna.

"Are they being louder than usual?" Sumire asked, groaning in frustration.

I stared at the wall that we shared with the boys' dorm, listening to Luna's delighted love-making sounds and wondering how they hell they got away with this type of thing. I just shook my head in silent shock.

Anna snorted. "She's boasting. It must have been awhile so she's making sure every female on this floor knows they're still doing it."

"The _stamina_ ," I said, aghast. "They've been going at it forever."

Sumire stood up. "I'm going to bed and putting headphones on. Sorry, Mikan."

I sighed. "It's okay. I'll just go downstairs to the common area."

Anna's brow furrowed. "Maybe you should just get some rest. You're looking pretty pasty."

"I can't. I need to study."

Even though there were quite a few bodies in the common area, it was infinitely quieter. I didn't know if Natsume talking to Luna had stopped her from blabbing about my alice, but we'd gotten through the day with no incidents. Thank God, because I was too damn tired to deal with that.

I set myself up at a table along the wall and only managed to immerse myself in math for ten minutes before someone was sitting down across from me.

I looked up and smiled. "Hey, Tsubasa."

"You don't sound so great," he said as he sat, concern evident on his face. All the concern I'd been getting was making me a little emotional.

"Just a bit of a cold, that's all." That was the understatement of the year. My whole body felt like lead and I felt like I was trying to think through a thick fog. "What are you doing down here?"

"I just came in from the gym and saw you over here, thought I'd say hi. Do you want a coffee?"

"Yes," I replied automatically, and then shook my head. "Better not, though. I've already had three cups tonight."

He arched an eyebrow. "I didn't think I'd ever see the day you said no to coffee."

I sniffled. "Me either." To be honest, I felt like trash and didn't really want to put anything in my body.

"What are you working on?"

"Oh, just math." It was hard to disguise the hopelessness in my tone. "Test tomorrow."

"Want some help?"

Tsubasa was an excellent teacher, but the fact of the matter was that I couldn't stop hearing Luna's cries in my head and trying to pay attention through that and through the cloud of sickness was near impossible. After an hour, I suggested we take a break.

He leaned back in his chair. "So is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"You have an immunity alice?"

I shot forward in my chair to slap my hands over his mouth. "Shh!"

He pried my hands away, chuckling. "Sorry."

"Has it seriously started going around already?" I groaned. "I haven't heard anything about it all day. I thought maybe Luna had decided to be a decent human being and keep her mouth shut for once."

He raised his eyebrow. "Luna? A decent human being? You should know better. So it's true?"

I glanced around us, but no one seemed to be listening. "Yeah. But would you keep it on the down-low and not help perpetuate the spread of that information?"

He shrugged. "Sure. Why, though?"

"Just, reasons. Who'd you hear it from?"

"Gen."

I wanted to say, "I hate that bitch," but because I didn't even know who that was, instead I said, "Figures."

He propped his ankle up on his knee and folded his hands behind his head, the picture of ease. "Interesting, though. You're the only student in this school that could get out of here if you wanted to."

That peaked my interest. "What do you mean?"

"The wall. It's effective enough, but think about it. Anyone who can fly or teleport could easily escape from here. There's an enchantment, if you will, on the wall. Some alice-users are able to project their abilities onto objects, such as the stone in the wall. It temporarily strips anyone who tries to escape of their alice, and then delivers an electric current to deter them from trying again. It wouldn't work on you, though."

I thought about it for a moment. Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't actually know where the hell this school even was, or perhaps it was the fact that my life was in imminent danger even _while_ on the grounds, but I didn't have much desire to try to escape.

"I should get going," he said, standing. "Don't stay up too late."

I didn't plan on staying up too late, but it took me longer than I thought to get through everything I wanted to get through. At some point I wondered if it was safe to go back upstairs, but the thought of having to actually go up the stairs was enough of a deterrent.

It was well past midnight when someone touched my shoulder, and I shot upright so fast my head spun, and I realized all at once that I'd been sleeping with my face on the table in front of me, probably drooling.

I looked around the empty common area before settling my glare on Natsume. "What?"

"Go to bed," he ordered.

"Make me." Was it childish? Absolutely. But I couldn't help it.

Unfortunately, he only took my sass as an invitation. I realized what he was doing the moment he reached for me and slapped his hands away.

"Fine, I'll go to bed," I grumbled, shooting him another glare before slamming my books shut and standing. My fingers curled around my heavy math textbook, and for a brief second, I thought about hitting him with it. "I don't need your help."

He raised a perfect eyebrow. "Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

" _You_ did." I brushed past him, heading for the stairs and wondering why my body felt so weak. "First you try to feed me decaf coffee, and then you have the loudest sex _ever_ when I'm trying to study for a test."

"I wasn't being loud."

I stepped on the first stair, frowning when I needed the railing for support. "Well, Luna was. _What_ do you even see in her? Never mind, don't answer that. I'm sure it rhymes with 'fig bits.'"

"Jealous, Legs?"

The amusement in his tone earned another sharp glare from me, and, "No," was flying out of my mouth before I could think about it too much. There was no way I was jealous. I didn't even like the guy. "What are you doing down here, anyway?"

His silence was an answer in itself. Whatever he was doing, he probably thought it was none of my business.

I sighed in defeat, my irritation diffusing. "I can walk myself upstairs. Go do whatever you were going to do." As I said it, I reached the first landing, and swooned, my legs turning to wet noodles. I would have fallen back down the stairs had it not been for Natsume's warm hand on my arm.

"Looks like you can handle it." Heavy sarcasm. "You're going to fail that test tomorrow."

I pulled my arm away from his grip and stormed angrily onwards. "Maybe if _someone_ had been a little quieter. You are my least favorite person on the planet. How did I get stuck with you? The universe is laughing at me, I know it."

"You're burning out, Legs."

Because he sounded so serious, and because there was a note of some emotion I couldn't identify in his voice, I turned around. His expression remained blank, and even though his stare was unyielding, I couldn't read anything in his dark eyes.

I sighed, rubbing my eyelids. "I've been running on empty for weeks, Natsume. I'm fine. Plus I need to study some more." I forced the biggest smile I could manage. "Hey, at least we had no idiots trying to zap me out of my socks today."

He grabbed my books out of my hand and flipped open my notebook. His eyes scanned the page, and while I was still trying to process what he was doing, he rolled his eyes. Without a word, he opened the door into his own dorm and strutted inside, leaving the door open behind him and taking my books with him.

I glanced at my closed door, then back at the open one before sighing and following him in.

Ruka and Koko were nowhere to be found, so I assumed they were behind the closed doors in the hallway. I wondered if Hotaru was in Ruka's room, and then hoped she wasn't because the last thing I needed was photographical evidence of me entering Natsume's bedroom.

His bedroom was cleaner than I expected, and definitely the largest one, which didn't surprise me. His bed wasn't made, which made me cringe thinking about what had transpired between those sheets earlier. Natsume ignored my reaction and went straight to his desk, dropping my books and motioning for me to sit.

I flopped down in the seat. "I've been told trying to teach me math is like trying to teach a monkey. Consider this your fair warning."

He disappeared from the room briefly, and when he returned I didn't glance up until I smelled something familiar. I blinked at the short square glass in his hand, half full of a yellow-ish liquid, and was catapulted back to that grungy club, the first time I'd seen him.

I raised an eyebrow. "Whiskey?" He held the glass out to me, but I shook my head before I could tempt myself. "You said you were keeping an eye on me. You must have picked up on my routine."

"Ordering a drink just to stare at it? Yeah, I noticed." He didn't ask, but I heard the question in his words and smiled.

"I thought I needed it. So I'd order a drink, and spend the next however long it took convincing myself that I didn't need it. Mostly I was just worried that if I went down that rabbit hole, I'd never come back." I tilted my head to the side. "Are you okay, Natsume?"

Silence hung between us as he studied me. I thought he was going to say something other than, "I'm fine," but he seemed to decide against it and stuck with the reassurance. Not that I was reassured. The opposite, actually.

"So you smoke _and_ drink?" I folded my arms over my chest, leaning back in the chair. "You know, that's going to have detrimental effects on your health in future years."

He rolled his eyes and nodded at my textbook. "I didn't bring you in here so you could scold me."

He was a good teacher, albeit a whole lot less patient than Tsubasa had been. He spent a lot of time leaning over me, and while his closeness made my mouth dry, the musky scent on his skin mixed with the subtle scent of liquor on his breath kept making Luna's pleasured face pop into my head, which was more than a little distracting.

We didn't stop until I was banging my head on the table, which knocked over a small bottle that had been tucked behind his open laptop. Natsume tried to snatch it up, but he was a couple feet away at that point, so I was able to grab it first.

It was a bottle of pills, and while the label might as well have been in another language for all I could understand, the speed at which Natsume grabbed it from me lent enough insight into the kind of medication it was, and that was no good.

"What's that?" I tried asking innocently. "Viagra?"

"I can assure you, Legs, I don't need Viagra." There was an innuendo in there, and I knew it. It made heat crawl up my neck, and I stood up abruptly.

"You probably shouldn't mix those with alcohol, whatever they are. It's late. I should go to bed. Toss and turn for a few hours until it's time to wake up." I gathered my books and turned around, finding myself staring straight at his chest, which was closer than I had anticipated. When my eyes slowly rose to meet his, I was greeted by a very serious expression.

"Leave this alone," he said, shaking the pill bottle.

I gave him a suave smile and patted his chest. "Whatever you say, Natsume."

"I mean it."

I stepped around him. "I'll drop it. Don't worry. Thanks for the help with studying. I'll see you in the morning." I stopped halfway out his room to glance over my shoulder with what I hoped was a menacing gaze. "And don't try to feed me decaf ever again."

* * *

Anna meant well, I knew she did. But the fact of the matter is that she had seriously underestimated my time management skills.

I woke up to and empty dorm and a note on my alarm clock from Anna informing me that she'd reset it so I'd sleep through first block, because she was adamant that I needed the rest. The only issue was that the time she set it for only gave me ten minutes to get ready and get to math class.

I ran at full speed from the dorm building to the school. Obviously, my lack of time meant I didn't have a chance to grab something to eat or grab a coffee. Two days in a row without my morning cup of joe? This could be catastrophic.

Mr. Meany was just about to hand out the test when I came busting through the doors. He gave me a dirty look that didn't catch me off guard and then nodded curtly in the direction of my seat. I didn't make eye contact with any of my classmates as I took my chair and waited in agony for the test to be dropped in front of me.

I fought my way through each question. I remembered studying the concepts. I could feel Natsume hovering over my shoulder, telling me what to do. I could smell his cologne. But instead of seeing the paper I'd been doing questions on in my mind's eye, all I could see was Luna's face.

My frustration translated to my test, which I pressed my pencil so hard into that it ripped through the page. I put my blood, sweat, and tears onto that paper, but all it resulted in was a bloody, sweaty, sad Mikan walking out of the classroom at the end of class.

Natsume fell into step beside me on the way to the cafeteria, but I just hung my head and dragged my feet and refused to engage in conversation.

"What's the problem, Mikan?" Ruka asked when I sat down at the table between Sumire and Anna with a plate of pizza. "You look like you just came back from battle."

"I _did_. And I lost." I miserably took a bite of my pizza.

"Shouldn't have been up studying so late," Hotaru offered with a sly glance in my direction.

"I thought it would help," I grumbled, hoping she didn't elaborate in front of Sumire.

"You're the one with the super rare alice," Koko chirped. "You should be revelling in your fame." He ignored the look Natsume shot him and held out his hand. "It probably doesn't work on mine."

Before I could tell him that I didn't want to see any spiders, a yellow butterfly landed on my hand. I stared at in shock for a moment, and then looked up at Koko, who was smiling.

"What do you see?" Anna asked.

"A butterfly." I reached out to touch the wings with my free hand, surprised that it felt so real. "That's really cool, Koko."

He shrugged, downplaying his embarrassment. "It's pretty useless. But I can use it to cheer people up."

I moved my finger and watched in wonder as the butterfly took flight, before vanishing into a swirl of colour and becoming a kitten, plopping down onto the table in front of me. I reached out to touch it, feeling its soft fur and wondering how no one else could see it.

"You can't feel them," Koko went on. "It's just an image, not tangible."

"Tell that to the fur between my fingers," I scoffed, smiling when the kitten started to purr.

"Must be your imagination. I can't produce objects. Just images."

The kitten meowed as I rubbed its head, enjoying the attention a moment longer before deciding it was done and chomping its sharp little teeth down on my finger. I gasped quietly, and then held my finger up for Koko to see.

"Then how did your pretend kitten just bite me?"

He frowned and reached forward, reaching for the kitten, but his hand passed through it, disturbing the air and contorting it into something else.

The new image that he created was much larger, and I didn't know where he got the image from in the first place, because the creature standing on the table in front of me was something I could have only ever seen in nightmares. It towered up at least seven feet, with long legs and a hunched back. It was human-shaped—sort of—but it was covered only in pale, papery skin. It didn't have eyes, or really any facial features besides the gaping hole of a mouth lined with sharp teeth. More concerning still were the long, deadly claws protruding from its fingers.

"Uh…Koko?" I breathed, my heart catching in my throat as a familiar pain started to spread through my chest. "You're not cheering me up anymore."

Koko was beginning to panic. "I didn't create that." He looked to Natsume for help. "Can you see it?"

Natsume shook his head slowly, watching me carefully as I got up from the table. "Just make it go away," he said to Koko. "You're scaring her."

"I…I can't." Koko tried swiping at the creature on the table, but his hand went right through.

"It can't touch you, whatever it is," Sumire assured me, patting my arm. "Trust me; Koko does it to me all the time. It's just a hallucination. You can shut it down yourself."

Before I could try to do just that, the strange creature lashed out. Its hand went right through Anna, who was oblivious to its presence, giving me half a second of peace of mind thinking it really couldn't touch me before its claws caught my arm and sent me flying backwards.

Someone screamed. Other people shouted.

Pain shot through my shoulder, then my back as I collided with the ground. I sat up, dazed, in time to glimpse the blood on my arm before the creature was sailing through the air and landing on top of me.

My own scream ripped through my throat as the claws tore at my clothes and skin. I thrashed against its weight, pushing its face away with my hands while its claws ripped through my body. I clipped its wrist hard enough to knock its hand away, giving me half a second to pull myself out from underneath it and leap to my feet.

Some students were staring at me in horror while others were running for the exits. I could see Koko panicking on the other side of the creature, pretty much reduced to tears while everyone else looked on in alarm.

I didn't stay to study anyone's faces for much longer. The creature lunged after me, and I took off at a sprint. Pain seared through my limbs, but I didn't dare glance down at the damage that had been done to my body.

"Mikan!" Anna shouted after me.

I'd been aiming for the exit, but the creature made it there first, sailing over my head and slamming soundlessly into the door. In seconds I was back on the ground, sharp teeth embedded in my neck while I screamed.

Natsume appeared over top of me, blending with the monster as he tried to shield me from something he couldn't see. His hands came away from me covered in blood, and although I wanted him to look calm like he usually did, the helplessness I saw on his face shook me.

I tilted my head back, following his gaze as he shouted for something. I saw Hotaru lift her tray and smack Koko hard over the head, and then that was it before Sumire was crashing to the ground next to me and her fingers were touching my head.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! I'll be back to posting regular updates for awhile. I actually ended up breaking this chapter into 2 different chapters, so I'll probably post the next one on Saturday or Sunday. Until then, enjoy!


	7. Faded

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Under the bright but faded lights  
_ _You've set my heart on fire  
Where are you now?_

-Faded  
Alan Walker

The gaping mouth with sharp teeth looming over me jolted me awake. I was greeted by a wall of white light, a splintering headache, and the feeling that I'd been hit by a freight train only moments ago.

The room came into focus. I recognized the white walls and fluorescent lighting and the plain hospital bed and the strawberry blonde girl sitting beside me.

Anna looked tired, but she smiled when I looked at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Been better," I croaked. "What happened?"

She shook her head absently. "Still trying to figure that out. Koko feels horrible."

I looked down at my body. I was wearing a hospital gown, and puckered lines ran down my arms and across my chest, like I was already in the last stages of healing after a surgery.

"They won't scar," Anna explained. "They just needed you to rest before they can finish healing you. You'll be as good as new in a couple of hours." She grabbed my hand. "That was the scariest thing I've ever seen. To have to watch you struggling on the ground like that with blood everywhere but not being able to see what was doing that to you? Nightmarish."

A knock on the door alerted us to a new arrival. Sumire poked her head in, smiled gratefully at me, and then motioned for Anna. "Natsume wants to talk to her alone."

My stomach twisted as she walked out and he walked in. He looked tired, serious, and exactly how I expected. He'd run his hand through his hair recently, and when he flopped down on the chair next to the bed, I could see the stress he was trying to hide.

"Sorry," I grumbled. "I think I'm turning out to be more trouble than you expected."

"You are," he agreed.

"You weren't supposed to agree with me."

He sighed, leaning forward in the chair, propping his elbows on his knees, and running his hands over his face. "What happened?"

"Hell if I know," I snorted. "But I don't think it was Koko's fault. He said he creates those images, but he couldn't have created that. I've seen it before. In my nightmares. Literally. I've dreamt about those freaky things before. The image must have come from my head. Is that possible?"

"I've never heard of it before, but there isn't a lot of information available on nullification alices. It could be a side effect. Doesn't help that you're sick and haven't slept in God knows how long." His brows furrowed. "You won't be having combat classes anymore. You'll be meeting with Narumi in your fourth period to work on learning how to control it before it kills you."

I pulled the blankets up to my chin, suddenly self-conscious of the scars on my arms. "That was nice of you to try and help me."

"It's my job."

"You didn't have to try and shield me from it. You didn't know if it was going to hurt you, too."

His jaw tensed. It was such a nice jaw. "I didn't know what else to do."

"I don't blame you or anything. It's not your fault I'm crazy."

His gaze was gentle when it met mine. "Who do you blame?"

"My alice. My dad, for not telling me about my alice. Or about alices at all. You're just trying to help me. I know I don't say it enough, but I appreciate your effort. And I'm sorry you have to do what you do for me." We were quiet for a minute. The silence was comfortable for the most part, until I saw that he was still looking at me with that concerned expression. My heart fluttered. "Cat's definitely out of the bag now, huh? People probably think I'm crazy."

"Take the rest of the week off. Don't show up to school until you're done being sick."

"But-"

"Anna and Sumire can help keep you caught up."

"Math-"

"I'll help you with math." He said it begrudgingly, like it was the most difficult task I could have asked of him. Then, out of the blue, "What did it look like?"

I stared blankly at him. "What did what look like?"

"The hallucination that Koko made. What did it look like?"

I described it to him, exaggerating only a little bit on the length of the claws and the amount of teeth in its gaping mouth. It was downright creepy, but it was a figment of my imagination.

He exhaled slowly, sweeping his hands over his face again. Like he was tired. And annoyed.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"That's not a nothing look."

"Get some rest, Legs."

I wiggled up, propping myself up against the pillows, keeping the blanket pulled up to hide the marks on my arms. "Can't. Might as well just keep bickering with you."

He stood. "I have other things to do."

"Natsume!" I called as he reached the door. When he looked back at me expectantly, I smiled timidly. "Can you have Sumire or Anna come back? I don't want to be alone." He nodded, but as he turned, I called, "Natsume!" again.

His mouth turned down in irritation, his hand on the door knob.

I sunk into the bed, pulling the blanket up to my nose. "Can you bring me a coffee?"

Obviously fighting a smile, he said, "No," and then left.

Anna and Sumire both same back to the room shortly after, accompanied by Hotaru, and Sumire was gracious enough to be holding a steaming cup of liquid love in her hand as she walked in. Her eyes scanned the marks on my arms as she handed it to me, but she didn't say anything.

Hotaru didn't say much, but the very fact that she was there offered me an immense amount of comfort. I made sure to thank her for doing her part in helping me, even if it had involved hitting Koko over the head with a tray.

The doctor—although I wasn't sure he could be called that, since he probably didn't have a degree—came back about an hour later, and I watched in amazement as he ran his hands over my arms and legs and abdomen and the puckered pink marks vanished, leaving smooth, unmarked skin underneath.

"You're lucky you didn't lose more blood," he commented. "The nurse will have you discharged."

We walked home under a dusting of snow. I spent most of the walk being amazed that I had been nearly torn to shreds a few hours ago and was now walking without any evidence of the attack, and wondering if alices were all that bad.

Then I remembered that the whole reason I got torn to shreds was because of an alice, and decided that yes, they sucked.

I didn't sleep well that night, plagued by vivid nightmares of teeth and claws and excruciating pain. When I'd had enough of waking up in cold sweats with the overwhelming need to double check my limbs for injuries, I put on a hoodie and slippers and quietly walked out of the room. Anna and Sumire were in bed already, but there were other students still up. It was only midnight, and it had been an exciting day for many students, witnessing the crazy girl get attacked by an invisible creature.

Hearing voices on the other side of the door right next to ours and taking that as indication that the boys were still up, I knocked gently.

Koko's surprise, immediately followed by a look of shame, caused my stomach to sink.

"It wasn't your fault," I said quickly. "Natsume probably told you I'm the crazy girl with literally zero control over her supposed ability. I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did to your alice to make it do that. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter. I let it get out of hand. I've never experienced anything like that before, so I didn't know how to stop it. I'm the one that should be apologizing, Mikan."

I waved my hand dismissively. I didn't blame Koko, of course, because I'd seen the look on his face. He didn't think I should have been able to feel the things he created, but I had, and that had scared him. But I didn't want to talk about it either, because it had scared me too. All the not-knowing that happened when it came to my alice was disheartening.

"Let's just be grateful that Hotaru thought to knock you out. Is the asshole here?" I asked.

Koko stepped aside, widening the door for me, and motioned me in. "Last door on the right."

"How're you feeling, Mikan?" Ruka called from where he sat in front of the TV.

I gave him a thumbs up before heading down the hall.

The last door on the right was open a crack, with the faint light of a lamp seeping through. I knocked, but didn't bother waiting for a response before walking inside.

Natsume was at his bed, packing clothes into a duffel bag. He glanced up upon my entrance, pausing only to give me a once-over, followed by a sly smile, before going back to packing the bag.

"What was that look for?" I demanded.

"Nice pyjamas," was all he said.

I looked down at my pyjamas, remembering that I was only wearing a hoodie, pyjama shorts, and slippers, and also remembering his tendency to look at my legs, which were currently bare and on display.

Rolling my eyes, I wandered over to the bed and sat down. Then I remembered the disrupted sheets from the night before and stood back up quickly. "What are you doing?"

He watched me stand back up from the bed with a slight frown pulling his perfect eyebrows together. "Packing."

"For what?"

His eyes flickered to mine briefly, and then away again, without a response.

I narrowed my eyes as I watched him pack, watching him put several changes of clothes-which meant he was planning on being gone for enough days to require several changes of clothes-into the bag before jerking it away from him, forcing him to look at me, irritated.

"You just got back," I stated. "You can't go again."

He snatched the bag back, zipping it up and throwing it over his shoulder. "Yes, I can."

I grabbed his arm before he could turn away; he jerked free as if I'd pinched him. Because I knew why he did it, I tried not to feel hurt, unsuccessfully. "The doctor healed me. In a matter of hours. There isn't a mark on my body."

"I know."

"Why couldn't they do that for you? You were all bandaged up. Why couldn't they just heal you like they healed me?"

His eyes flickered away briefly. To his desk. Then back to me. "I don't know how it works. Ask the doctor." He brushed past me, grabbed the small bottle from his desk, and out the room.

"Liar. What are those pills?" I ran out of the room after him, nearly having to run to keep up with his brisk walk. I tried to grab the bottle out of his hand, but he jerked it free. Scowling, I tried again, reaching for his wrist with one hand and his palm with the other. He held it over my head.

Koko and Ruka watched our tussle from the living room. Koko said something along the lines of, "We should film this," while Ruka insisted, "This is healthy for them."

I jumped, swiping for his hand.

"Legs," he warned. "You're going to hurt yourself. You should be resting-"

"I'm not feeling particularly anxious or emotional right now, so it's fine," I insisted. "Just give me the bottle!"

He pulled the door open, hoping to evade me, but I was right behind him. As soon as the door closed behind me, I grabbed him forcefully by the shirt, pulling him back, stepping around him, and pinning him to the closed door with my body while I pried his hand open with mine.

I held the small bottle in front of my face, squinting to read the tiny writing. It was still gibberish, and the only thing I could read that made sense was the small lettering that said _Do not take with alcohol_. I popped the top off and looked inside at the red pills, and then back up at him.

"What do these do?"

"You said you were going to drop it."

"I'm a big fat liar. Why do you take these? Does it have something to do with why the doctors couldn't heal you like they did me?"

"Are you done molesting me?" He took me gently by the shoulders and pushed me back, snatching the bottle back and continuing down the hallway.

"Natsume!" I called in exasperation. "Can we just talk for a second?"

We passed a few other bodies as I hurried after him down the hallway and then down the stairs, and we garnered several looks—whether that was because I was chasing Natsume, or because of the events of the day, I wasn't sure.

He burst through the door into the night, probably hoping my journey would end there because of my attire, but I rushed out after him. Cold air wrapped around me. He stopped, visibly sighed, and turned to face me.

"Go inside," he ordered. "You need to rest."

"Where are you going?"

"Work."

"But they shot you last time."

"And if I don't go do this, next time it might be you."

I shook my head. "We've already established that they aren't interested in killing me. So now that that's solved, come back inside and we'll deal with that other issue." Knowing he wouldn't go for it, I wrapped my arms around myself and pouted. "What are you even going to do anyway? What is there to do?"

"Find a way inside. Or find a way to isolate their leader."

"That never works. You cut off the head, three more grow back. It's called a hydra-headed problem."

"You don't understand."

"Yes, I do. The expression 'hydra-headed problem' comes from ancient Greek myth-"

"Legs," he drawled. "That's not what I meant."

I sighed. "Then explain it to me. Better yet, take me with you. You can explain on the way."

His eyes darkened. It was the strangest shift in emotion, conveying to me that he felt more strongly about that than either of us expected. "You are not trained for this. I am."

"You could use me how they want to use me. As a shield."

"And risk having you blow us both up when your alice doesn't do as it should? Besides, your alice offers your protecting against other alices. Not bullets."

I pursed my lips, trying to find a work-around that would convince him. Knowing I couldn't, I resorted to pleading. "Please don't go?"

The corners of his lips turned up in the slightest of smiles, humored. "You aren't very good at that."

"At what?"

"Begging."

I rolled my eyes, resisting the urge to stomp my foot like a child who had been told no. "I'd feel a lot better if you stayed. Both for my own personal safety and my peace of mind regarding _your_ safety."

"This isn't about how you feel. This is about making sure you don't end up dead."

"How very gallant of you. What if I talked to that guy with the greasy hair that I don't like? Would he consider letting me go with you?"

His eyes flashed, and he was in front of me in seconds. Despite the fact that I should have been concerned about his rapid advance and the fact that he'd pushed me against the closed door behind me, I was more grateful for the wave of heat his proximity granted. I shuddered.

"Do not interfere," he said, with so much venom that I might have actually flinched. He noticed, and his expression softened. "This isn't your concern. It's mine."

"It's your job," I reminded him, trying to remain diplomatic, knowing anger would get us nowhere. "People quit jobs all the time."

"Where is this coming from, Legs? You don't even like me."

I considered this for a moment. I wanted to hold onto my original position that I didn't like him, but my body was telling me otherwise. Not to mention the thought of him trying to shield me from an invisible monster made me feel warm, as twisted as that was. The words were on my tongue, but his close proximity, the way he was stooped over me, one arm braced on the wall above my head and the other hand on the wall at my waist, and how close his mouth was to mine, had them evaporating before I could speak them.

I exhaled slowly and found my voice, "Look, it's not that I don't like you. It's just that sometimes I wish I could kill you." I hesitated. "I'm scared. I don't know what's happening to me and I feel like you're the only person in the world that can help me figure it out. And I feel safer when you're around."

"You saw that I can't keep you safe here."

"Yeah, but you tried. And I'm scared that if you leave, you won't come back." I made a face, hoping to lighten the mood so he didn't think I was being as sappy as I clearly was. "I think I've developed abandonment issues."

The anger—concern, frustration…whatever it had been—seemed to seep out of him. Another emotion replaced it, but it was gone before I could identify it. "You shouldn't worry about me," he said softly.

"I can't help it. What you're doing is dangerous and it's necessary in part because of me. If I'd never come here, you wouldn't be going off and getting shot-"

"There would be another reason," he interrupted. "The Organization needs to be taken care of and I'm the one that needs to do it."

"Why?" I challenged.

"Because I know how it's run. I know who to take out to make sure it falls."

"Tsubasa said you were gone for a bit." I ignored the way his expression changed at the mention of Tsubasa. "Were you really caught by them? I told him it wasn't possible, because you're, like, a god-"

He half-laughed, softly, his breath fanning over my face. I didn't even bother trying to backpedal, instead meeting his gaze and then pretty much forgetting how to function. His eyes bore into mine so intensely that I was filled with a desperate need to look away, but he looked away first. Not away, but elsewhere. Down, to be specific. His gaze landed on my lips, and I wasn't sure if should be more concerned by the fact that he looked like he wanted to kiss me, or the fact that I suddenly wanted him to.

"I want to help you," I whispered.

He pushed himself off the wall, creating space between us. "You can help me by getting some rest so you don't get yourself killed while I'm gone."

I groaned in exasperation. "How many times do I have to tell you that I _can't_ sleep? I'm literally plagued by nightmares. Every time I close my eyes. Now I'm just going to be dreaming about you getting shot again."

"Try." He started to turn, but I grabbed his wrist before he could step away.

"Come back, okay?" My heart lodged in my throat at the thought of having to work my way through Natsume's death, too. "I need someone to help me pass math."

Natsume's eyes met mine again, and that emotion I couldn't identify flitted across his face again, but then it was gone, and so was he. He backed up, said, "I'll come back," and turned to leave.

Knowing I'd lost the battle, I watched him until the dark swallowed him up, and turned back inside.

* * *

Trying not to think about our almost-kiss, if that's even what it was, just made me think about it more. I tossed and turned in bed, cursing my hormones for the feeling of attraction and cursing my brain for letting it get that close.

In the morning, I went downstairs to get a coffee, and when I came back up, while Sumire was showering, I set my sights on Anna.

She looked up from where she sat on the couch as I flopped down next to her. "How are you feeling?"

I sipped my coffee. "Fine," I replied.

She raised an eyebrow. "Problem?"

"What medication is Natsume on?"

The speed at which she averted her gaze back to the magazine on her lap was indication enough that she knew what I was talking about, but she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Small bottle, tiny red pills." I held up my fingers to show her the size. "I know you know."

"It's not really my place to tell."

"He's my Protector. I need to know if there's going to be an issue."

She pursed her lips, eyes searching mine, hoping I would change my mind. When I didn't, she sighed. "It's to prevent issues, actually. Natsume's body doesn't heal as quickly as it used to. Some alices, like Natsume's, cause damage to the body over time. The more he uses it, the bigger the toll it takes. He had Nonoko concoct a pill that would help his body to heal faster when healing alices couldn't do it. Or, I guess it doesn't really heal him." She dropped her gaze, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. "They take the pain away so he can go back out. Nonoko's ability gives her the power to create different things through chemistry. She's got something for everyone."

I narrowed my eyes. "So he goes out, gets _shot_ , and then takes pills so he can go out and get shot again faster?" I shot to my feet, grumbling, "He better come back this time. We have some talking to do."

Natsume's order to stay home from school until I was feeling better echoed through my head, not to mention Sumire and Anna's nagging as I walked with them to the cafeteria, but my fear of missing math and falling behind while Natsume was gone won out, and I ignored all of the voices.

People stared when we walked into the cafeteria, and I did my best to pretend I didn't notice as I walked to the coffee machine by myself.

Tsubasa appeared beside me, grabbing a Styrofoam cup and filling it with coffee before handing it to me. "Hey, Mikan. How are you feeling?"

"Besides the sore throat and slight ache in my muscles, I'd say it's almost like I didn't get attacked by an imaginary monster yesterday." I smiled gratefully. "Thanks for the coffee."

"No problem. Listen, I know Natsume is gone. I have some extra time during last block, I could go through some combat stuff with you if you want."

I crinkled my nose. "I usually don't mind having a break from those."

He laughed. "I'll go easy on you."

"I'm actually meeting with Mr. Narumi in my fourth block. Apparently he's going to teach me how to control the alice I didn't know I had until last week. Thanks for the offer, though."

Natsume being absent at breakfast meant that Luna had nothing to distract her. She shot me a look that could have sent me to hell, if looks could kill, and sat down across from me.

"What's up your butt?" I asked as I sat down.

"Did you think that was a smooth move?" she sneered.

Koko, who was sitting on the other side of Sumire, stared at her, appalled. "Are you serious, Luna?"

Luna, apparently surprised to be called out of her shit, crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin. "She could have done it on purpose."

"Yes, because I would love to get torn to shreds _on purpose_ in order to get the attention of your boy toy, whose attention I already have regardless because of the fact that it's his _job_." I rolled my eyes. "The jealous act doesn't make you cute or loyal, Luna. It makes you pyscho."

Sumire snorted beside me and tried to cover it up with a cough, while Luna fumed. So hard, in fact, that she stood up and stalked out of the cafeteria.

"Ruthless," Koko breathed from across the table.

"I'm sick of her attitude. She thinks the whole world revolves around her."

"That's because people let her think that," Anna said. "And Natsume's involvement with her just adds to the fantasy. He's unattainable, yet she has him."

I thought of mine and Natsume's shared moment the night before, and muttered under my breath, "Does she?"

The day proceeded as any other day, and I shoved my concern for Natsume out the window, trusting he knew what he was doing. Instead, I decided now was a good time to be concerned about what had transpired between us before he'd left. Hormones. That was the only explanation. I knew he had to have raging hormones, because of his frequent sexual escapades with Luna. Which just made me even more frustrated about _my_ hormones. Why did I have to be attracted to the guy using Luna as a fuck-buddy?

I noticed Wakako shooting glares at me throughout Bio, but I chalked it up to her taking personal offense to my attack on Luna that morning. It wasn't until lunch, when I sat with Sumire in the cafeteria, and Wakako came sauntering over with Luna, that I realized the true intention behind her glares.

Luna looked furious; Wakako looked smug.

"What the hell were you doing with Natsume last night?" Luna snapped.

It wasn't so much the accusation that bothered me, but the way Sumire's gaze snapped to me. I didn't look at her, choosing to hold Luna's stare carefully.

"Natsume was leaving his room as I was leaving mine," I lied, hoping for some damage control. Telling them I'd gone busting into their room wouldn't do anyone any good.

Ruka and Koko, bless them, didn't call me out on my lie.

"He was going on an assignment, and we talked. That's it."

"You kissed him."

"I d-"

"Wakako saw it." Even as she tore into me, Luna glanced at Sumire. She was doing this completely on purpose.

Sumire, however, kept her face blank as she looked at me, waiting for an explanation.

"I did not," I said defensively, even though I kind of wished I had. "I asked him to take me with him. For _strategic_ purposes. Nothing more."

"That's not what I saw," Wakako said snidely.

"You didn't _see_ anything," I growled. "You weren't there, so you don't know what happened."

"In your head. I saw it in your head."

Sumire shot to her feet, and without another glance at me, she was striding brusquely away.

"Great," I grumbled, standing. "Keep your nose out of my mind, Wakako. Next time you're _really_ not going to like what you see."

Before I'd gotten more than a few steps away, Luna's shrill voice stopped me. "You're nothing but a pathetic slut. Get your own man instead of trying to steal mine."

I saw red, and although getting in bitch-fights wasn't really a priority for me, I was in front of Luna in seconds. She was taller than me—probably thanks to her heeled boots—which only made her smug expression infuriate me further. I jabbed my finger into her chest, hard enough to surprise her but not hard enough to hurt her. Although a small part of me sure wanted to.

"The only pathetic slut here is you, Luna," I growled. "You walk around here thinking you're hot shit because you're sleeping with Natsume, but has he ever actually _talked_ to you? About something other than your tits? Has he ever actually _kissed_ you and meant it? Because all I've seen, Luna, is him use you for sex because you're easy and he knows that you wouldn't dare ask him for anything more than that. That's pathetic."

Her eyes flashed, and in the heat of the moment she must have forgotten that her alice didn't really work with me the way she was used to. The sound drowned out, the tidal wave of pressure hit me, and before she could realize that I was still moving with her, she slapped me. The moment her hand struck my cheek, pain ripped through my chest. We both stumbled a bit, my cheek still stinging. And then time snapped back before I could process what had happened.

"In your head. I saw it in your head." Wakako's voice brought me back to reality. Sort of. Hadn't she just said that? Except now she was frowning, probably because I was clutching my chest as if I were trying to hold it together.

Luna's eyes were wide and glued to me. It took me a moment to catch on. Sumire standing up and storming out of the cafeteria is what clued me in. Hadn't she already left?

My gaze snapped to Luna. "Did you just-" I didn't get to finish my sentence before she was whirling around and pretty much running from the cafeteria.

"It looks like you just saw a ghost," Ruka commented.

"These are some great shots," Hotaru muttered, camera in hand.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and then took off after Sumire. I'd worry about the fact that Luna had just reversed time later.

I hurried after Sumire, and didn't manage to catch up with her until she was already outside, walking quickly in the direction of the Protector training fields. When I caught up to her, she didn't even spare me a glance.

"I didn't kiss him, Sumire," I pleaded. "You have to know that."

She stopped abruptly, whirling to face me. "It doesn't matter if you did or didn't, Wakako saw it in your head. That means you were thinking about it."

"No, I-" I started to object, but stopped myself when I realized that I might be lying if I did. "It didn't happen, Sumire. Is that not enough?"

" _Something_ happened to make the girl who swore she would hate him until the day she died daydream about kissing him."

"Every girl in this school has daydreamt about kissing him!" I insisted. "Even if I did—and I'm not saying I did—why does that make it unforgivable?"

"Because it's _you_. You don't like him. And you know that _I_ do."

Before I could defend myself further—or dig myself deeper—we were interrupted by the sound of an alarm. It wasn't a typical fast, annoying fire alarm. I found it closer in similarity to the weather warning alarms in some towns, that sounded when tornadoes were a danger. A long, drawling wail. Eerie, to say the least.

Sumire glanced towards the wall, and then started for the school.

"What is that?" I wondered aloud.

"It's the alarm. It's probably just a drill. I have to go find Anna. I'm her primary Protector."

Angry with her for penalizing me for a daydream that I wasn't even sure I'd had, I said, "Fine," and stormed back in the direction of the dorms, for lack of anywhere else to go.

The dorms were bustling with noise when I arrived, students murmuring amongst each other as the alarm continued to sound in the distance. I threaded my way through the bodies gathered in the common area, not stopping until I heard a familiar voice over the sounds of concerned conversation.

"Everyone return to their dorms. This is not a drill." The voice was calm, steady, and very authoritative. It belonged to Mr. Jinno, who was standing by the exit, towering above everyone.

For a moment, no one moved.

More forcefully, he repeated his order. I had to hand it to Mr. Meany, he was very good at inciting panic in his students with nothing more than his voice, because immediately after, people started screaming and rushing for their rooms.

I was bounced around between bodies, stuck in a mob of panicked people, cursing Mr. Meany for having the tact of a clumsy elephant. By the time the crowd had thinned enough for me to move, I found that I had been jostled pretty much back to the door.

"What's going on?" I asked Mr. Meany.

He turned his serious, intense gaze on me. "The wall has been breached."

My heart jumped into my throat, but I swallowed it. "By whom, may I ask?"

Instead of awarding me with an answer, he said, "Where is your Protector?"

For a brief moment, I revelled at the dumb luck I had that would place me in this situation while Natsume was away on an assignment. Almost immediately after, I considered the suspiciousness of this happening while Natsume was away on an assignment.

"Gone," I answered eventually. "Is it the Organization?"

He grabbed me by the shoulders to turn me towards the stairs. "Room. Now."

I grumpily headed for the stairs, deciding I felt safe if Mr. Meany was stationed at the door. He only had to look at someone to send them cowering.

Upstairs, the hallway had fallen silent. I headed for our dorm room with a sense of dread beginning to make itself home in the pit of my stomach. Trying to remember that this was the safest place I could be, I reached for the doorknob.

A door down the hall opened. Nonoko stuck her head out, her brows furrowed. "Have you seen Anna?" she asked.

"No, I figured she was with you. She wasn't there at lunch."

She shook her head. "She said she was going back to the dorm to change her shoes. Then the alarm went off so I came to check on her. She didn't answer the door."

"Sumire went to look for her," I assured her. "She probably was somewhere between here and the school when the alarm went off. I'll let you know if I see her."

She nodded once and shrank back into the room. I wondered if she had heard what had transpired in the lunch room.

I walked into the room, briefly pausing to wonder why the door was unlocked if no one was in there, and then stopping short in my tracks when I looked up and understood.

Anna was sitting in one of the chairs usually stationed by the table. This would not be cause for concern, had she not been holding a gun to her head with tears running down her face while two men flanked her. Her eyes were wide, her expression wild with fear.

Even more concerning was the fact that I recognized one of the men, identifying him as Baldy, one of the men from the hotel who had tried to command me to stop. Compulsion, Natsume had called his alice.

Baldy was simply standing beside her, hands folded in front of him, looking equal parts serious and deadly in a well-fitted business suit. The other man, much younger by the looks of it, stood behind Anna.

"Anna, put the gun down." I had to force my voice to move through my throat, and it came out shaky.

Her lip trembled. "I can't."

"Don't move or make a sound, or I'll tell her to shoot herself," Baldy said. I wished with all my heart in that very second that alices didn't exist because the look on Anna's face was breaking me in half.

I stood silently in my spot.

"Walk over to Tatsuya," Baldy ordered, nodding at the other man that stood behind Anna.

I had no inclination to listen, but for the sake of shielding my alice from him, I did as I was told, although I growled a, "I thought you told me not to move," to express my unhappiness at the prospect.

Baldy's lips quirked. "I also told you not to make a sound." He nodded again at Tatsuya, and then dropped his gaze to Anna to say, "Keep your finger on the trigger." I felt the breath wheeze out of me as her finger shook over the trigger.

Tossing Baldy a glare, I stopped next to the chair where Anna sat, reaching out to touch her shoulder, to offer her any amount of comfort she could get from me.

I didn't have any intention of trying to resist. With Anna's life in the hands of Baldy, there was no move I was willing to risk taking. But even if I had the ability or the smarts to lash out at them, I wouldn't have had time, for the moment I turned my attention back to Baldy, Tatsuya was leaping on me, his arm around my neck in a tight hold that cut off my oxygen. I kicked my legs and struggled, but he was stronger than me. Within seconds, I was falling into black.

* * *

A/N: Enjoy!


	8. Falling On

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _And if you find you've fallen  
_ _And all your grace is gone  
_ _Just scream for me and I'll be what you're falling on_

 _-_ Falling On  
Finger Eleven

My first thought upon waking up was that I was blind. My eyes were definitely open, but all I could see was blackness. The thought of being blind was cause for concern on its own, but the fact that I couldn't lift my hands to double-check to make sure my eyes were actually open was another concern.

I wiggled my wrists; metal clanked against metal. I shuffled my feet; metal clanked against concrete.

So I was chained to a chair, my hands forced together behind my back and my ankles secured to the legs of the chair. Also, my feet were really cold. Colder than the rest of me, and since the rest of me was also cold, that meant that my feet were _really_ cold.

"Well, fuck," I muttered.

My mouth was drier than the desert, and the scratchiness in my throat that I thought had been on its way out seemed to have come back tenfold. I couldn't exactly remember where I was, or how I'd gotten there, only that I remembered going to class when Natsume had specifically told me not to. The only other thing I remembered was that Sumire was mad at me, and for a moment I felt hurt before remembering that that was probably the least of my problems.

Leave it to me to get kidnapped literally one day after nearly getting torn to shreds by an invisible monster. _Curse you, Universe_. When was I going to get a break?

The chair I was strapped to was metal, and because it didn't budge when I tried moving it by moving myself, I guessed it was bolted to the ground. My eyes had adjusted a bit, but all I could make out was the walls. It looked like I was in a small room, maybe 10 feet by 10 feet. I assumed there was a door, but wherever it was, it was sealed so tightly that there was no light coming in. And no windows, as far as I could tell.

I considered my options. It didn't take long, because it would appear that I didn't actually have any options. Except to sit here in this chair, my neck aching and my feet freezing, until someone came to interrogate me.

Somehow, the Organization wasn't exactly what I had expected. Not as glamourous. A little on the murder-y side.

My arm felt like it was on fire. I assumed it was injured, but it was too dark to tell. It hurt to move it, but it also hurt not to move it. I accepted eternal pain and then went about testing the rest of my limbs. I was pretty sure there were no more serious injuries, but I was also pretty certain that I wasn't wearing pants. No wonder I was so cold.

Eventually I noticed the subtle red blinking light in the top corner of the room across from me. Guessing it was a camera, I spent the next several hours—maybe minutes?—glaring at whoever was watching me.

I don't know how long I was in there for, but it was long enough for my stomach to start growling and for me to doze off with my chin pressed to my chest in the most uncomfortable position, and the sudden sound of a heavy duty lock clicking out of place and the whine of the steel door as it swung open caused me to shoot upright. Instinct actually had me trying to stand, but the heavy metal on my wrists brought me back to reality.

I squinted against the sudden influx of light. "God damn," I whispered. "That's bright."

For several seconds, I could only blink at the tall silhouette in the doorway, waiting for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I wished they hadn't.

"Mikan Sakura," said the man. He was tall, broad, and wore a very nice suit. His face was hardened, absent of laugh lines but abundant in frown lines, and his eyes were so dark that I couldn't even tell what colour they were. Remorseless and cold, which were two adjectives I didn't want to be using to describe my captor.

All in all, he reminded me of a meaner version of Mr. Meany, which, until this very moment, I hadn't thought was possible.

"I hope so, or you kidnapped the wrong girl," I said, aiming for sarcasm, but the dryness in my mouth made it difficult to translate my sarcasm.

I couldn't see much past his large frame, only that the light coming in was fluorescent and made me feel chilly. It did, however, provide me with enough light to glance down at my arm and see the gaping wound winding from my shoulder to just below my elbow. It looked like someone had wrapped a rope around it and then tugged the rope off hard enough that it cut into my arm as it unwound.

"My name is Rei," the man continued, strolling into the room. "I'm a friend of your father's."

I tried to snort, but my dry throat hindered me. "I'm sure you are. Were? He's dead, but you knew that."

He strolled two steps into the room, smiling sadistically. "Your arm was injured in the trip off the school grounds. Unfortunately, the shield around the school had some…unprecedented affects. You travelled faster than you should have, and your arm got left behind. It's a miracle it's still attached."

"So who should I sue for negligence?"

Ignoring my poke, he went on, "By now you've figured out you've been taken into custody by the Organization. We've heard some interesting things about you, Mikan."

"If by 'interesting', you mean 'utterly boring', then we're on the same page." I tried to look past him, wishing I was smart enough to figure out how to get out of these chains. "Seriously, you guys are in for a really disappointing surprise when you find out just how useless I am. I don't even have an alice."

He motioned to something behind him, and then the room was illuminated by those ugly, fluorescent lights that burned my eyes. The door swung closed, locking me inside with him.

"We can do this one of two ways," he continued, pacing across the length of the room. "You can tell me what your father has tried so hard to keep from me. Save us all the trouble. Or," I had a feeling I didn't like where this was going, "I'll force it out of you, using…questionable methods."

I jumped on the opportunity to survey the rest of my body. I was bruised and dirty, but aside from my arm, there wasn't a lot of damage. I truly was just in my underwear, and a thin tank top that offered me no warmth. My skin was pale, and in contrast, the wound on my arm looked ghastly. And untreated. And bound for infection. Oh, God, I did _not_ want to lose my arm.

"First things first," I responded, blinking up at Rei through half-shut eyes. "I'm going to need some clothes."

Irritation flickered across his face. "You don't need to make this difficult, Mikan."

"You didn't need to take my goddamn clothes off, _Rei_." I praised the fact that I was wearing actual underwear that covered my butt, instead of a thong, but I still didn't like it.

"Exposing your skin will be detrimental for when we begin."

"Begin what?"

He shrugged. "I told you. Easy way or hard way. And since you don't seem keen on the easy way..."

I scowled. "Look, Rei. I didn't even know alices existed until like a month ago. It's not that I don't want to tell you what the big secret is. It's that I don't _know_ what the big secret is. _If_ there's a big secret at all."

His shoulders rose and fell as he sighed dramatically. "I was hoping this would go differently."

"Can you leave the lights on?" I called after him, but he'd already slammed the door. Seconds later, the lights went out, blanketing me in darkness.

I heaved a sigh, jiggling my wrists again. There wasn't much slack, but maybe if I fidgeted enough I'd be able to pull my hands free. It wasn't like I had any other options. And maybe it would keep the fear at bay, because despite my sarcastic defense, I was _scared_. And hurting. And cursing the universe for what it kept doing to me.

Natsume's voice explaining to me the value I was to the Organization bounced around my head. I was valuable if they knew what my alice was, which I had _thought_ they already did. Maybe they were just looking for confirmation. Either way, the _possibility_ of me having a super-rare alice was keeping me alive, and the longer I could stretch out their confirmation process, the more time that would give Natsume to swoop in and save me.

I sure hoped he was going to swoop in and save me. I could really use a knight in shining armor.

* * *

Instead of waking up to Natsume coming to rescue me—which I wanted as much as I didn't want it, for the sake of my pride—I woke up to an increasingly sore neck, chills, and an immense amount of pain ricocheting through my body. Not to mention my stomach grumbling angrily. And my mouth, still so dry.

I let my head fall back, staring through the darkness in the direction of the ceiling that I couldn't actually see, hoping I'd be able to fall back asleep and avoid thinking about my dire situation a little longer.

Natsume knew where the Organization's headquarters were; he'd told me that he had tried to get in. However, they had also shot him several times when he had attempted, leading me to believe that he hadn't been successful. So he may know where I was, but that didn't mean he was going to be able to get me.

I would help him in any way that I could, I decided, and got to work on rubbing my wrists together. That only lasted until I was pretty sure I'd torn the skin off my wrists, adding to the pain in the rest of my body. Compared to my arm, which I was now certain was well on its way to infection, it was pretty mild.

I wiggled in the chair, hoping it was just really heavy and not bolted to the floor. After several minutes of struggling, I decided that it was indeed bolted to the floor. I wasn't really sure what I hoped to accomplish by knocking it over anyway.

Blowing a sharp breath between my teeth, I tried to think of what my dad would tell me to do.

First and foremost, he would tell me to stay calm. No one thinks clearly when they're in a panic. And considering how often I found myself in a panic, I could attest to that.

Second, he would tell me to find an exit. Well, that was easy enough since the only exit as far as I could tell was the door that Rei had walked in and out of. Even if I could reach it, it was most definitely locked.

Then how could I defend myself when he came back in? Simple: I couldn't. I couldn't move my arms or legs, I didn't have any weapons, and even if I did have a weapon, Rei was bigger than me. And I didn't know what his alice might be. All I could hope was that it wasn't one of the many that I seemed sensitive to.

Sitting chained to a hard chair, in the middle of a really cold, really dark room with no concept of time got boring quickly. At some point I began to shiver, and sometime after that I began to sweat, which was odd because I was still shivering. I assumed that meant that infection was making its way into my body. As much as I didn't want to die, I hoped the infection would kill me before Rei subjected me to torture, because I'm pretty sure that was the direction I was headed in.

The next time the door opened, I had been dozing off. It startled me, causing me to lurch in my seat, which made my raw wrists brush against the chains. I groaned in agony and focused my eyes on the intruder, ready to use my tongue as my only weapon against Rei.

Instead, I saw a smaller person. Very small. The light only came from behind him at first, so I couldn't make out much of his face, but when the second body appeared behind him, this one adult, the lights in the room flickered on, blinding me once more.

The door closed behind them. The boy was maybe eight years old, with dark hair and sad eyes. He was thin, but not malnourished, and he wore nice clothes, which led me to believe he wasn't a prisoner here, at least not on the same level that I was. I also noted the older man behind him, who had glanced at me only once before averting his eyes, looking nauseous. I wondered if he had a daughter my age and was picturing her in my place.

I disregarded him, choosing instead to zero in on the tray that the little boy held.

"Hello," he said in a tiny, confident voice.

"Hi," I rasped.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked.

I smiled wryly. "How could you tell?" He ignored my tone, handed the tray to the older man, and took a plastic cup off of it. He approached me slowly, as if I were a scared wild animal, and when I gave no indication that I was going to bite, he raised the cup to my lips.

I downed every last drop of water in that cup, and it still wasn't enough. My mouth was like a plant that hadn't been watered in weeks, whose soil had gotten so dry that it ate up every drop of water with vigour.

"Do you have any food?" I asked when he backed away.

He went back to the tray that the other man held and began rearranging some of the things on it. Packages of something. Metal. Torture tools? Or medical supplies. I glanced down at my arm, involuntarily gagging at the sight of it.

"No, they said you couldn't have any yet." He picked up a bottle of liquid and a pack of gauze and turned to face me.

I swallowed thickly. "Why did they send you in here?"

"They didn't think you'd try to hurt me to escape." He looked up at me under thick lashes. "Would you?"

I let my head fall back, fighting tears. Self-preservation wanted to say yes, but my conscience would never let me, even if I could somehow escape the chains. "No. Not that they should be concerned, considering they have me on total lockdown. They're playing good cop, bad cop, aren't they? Send in the nasty Rei, get me all riled up, and then send in the cute kid to gain my trust and soften me up so I expose all my secrets?"

He didn't really seem to know what I was talking about, but the man holding the tray fidgeted.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Mikan. What's yours?"

"Youichi."

"Nice to meet you, Youichi."

He showed me the bottle. "They told me to take care of your arm."

I felt my chest tighten at the thought of what was in that bottle. I couldn't even look at my arm without feeling nauseous; I didn't want to think about how that stuff would make me feel.

"It's probably fine," I said eventually.

His eyes flitted to my arm, then back to my face. "It doesn't look fine." As if asking for confirmation that he was right, he looked over his shoulder at the man with the tray.

"It's infected," the man confirmed, never looking at my face. He looked kind of pasty. Maybe he didn't do well with blood…and pus. There was an abundance of both on my arm.

Youichi approached my chair, looked at me once more, and then turned the bottle upside down over my arm. I cried out, instinctively trying to move away from him but succeeding only in chafing my wrists on the chains.

"It's important to stay calm," he assured me, dabbing at my arm with some gauze.

"You try to stay calm while someone pours alcohol on an open wound," I said through my teeth. "Why are you here? Are they forcing you to be here?"

He shook his head, not meeting my eyes as he taped pieces of gauze over my arm. "I'm waiting for someone."

"Waiting for who?"

Before he could respond, a loud buzz made us both jump. He glanced back at the man, who nodded once. Youichi stood, gathering his supplies back onto the tray, and then exited the room after the man without another word to me.

The lights flickered back off.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

I was called back from my assignment early. I'd been in the midst of identifying which warehouse a terrorist cell was working out of when my phone rang. It was Reo, demanding I return to the school immediately. He didn't tell me why, and I didn't ask. Figured a more important assignment had come up.

Before I left, I ignited some of the explosives I knew were in the warehouse I'd identified. Those fuckers never knew what hit them.

I'd suggested to Legs that this assignment was related to the Organization so she wouldn't think I was standing by and doing nothing to eliminate the threat. In a way, it was related. The terrorist cell was funded by the Organization, but had a different agenda. We hadn't received any useful intel regarding their HQ for me to be able to try to get in there again.

I thought of the way her eyebrows had turned down when she'd tried to stop me from going, concerned about me getting shot. It was annoying. Did she want me to help eliminate the threat against her or not? The look of determination on her face when she had suggested I take her along was enough to ignite irritation in me. The idiot had no idea who we were dealing with.

Her cheeks had been flushed from the cold. Her hair was messy, probably from tossing and turning restlessly like I knew she did every night, but it looked good on her. Her eyes had been heavy with exhaustion—her encounter with Koko's alice and the fact that somebody was making sure she couldn't have a restful night without being plagued by nightmares of terrifying creatures were to blame. But she'd been fierce. Kissing her had crossed my mind. I had wanted to. It would have shut her up for more than three seconds. Maybe it would have stopped her from worrying for a bit.

She would be relieved when I turned up in class. I didn't expect her concern, so it was a surprise when I got it. Then the expression would pass and she'd be back to shooting me glares and making snarky comments. Somehow, I was more comfortable with that. Her concern made me think about her lips.

When I walked into the office building, I was expecting Reo and the principal to debrief me on the reason for my abrupt return. Maybe this other assignment would actually have me getting into the Organization, although I doubted it. The principal wouldn't let me try again, not after what had happened last time.

The reasonable course of action would be to wait. I had a plan in place, but it would take time to execute. And the bastard that was behind the plan, and an integral part of it, pissed me off more and more as each day passed. He had threatened me, and I didn't take well to being threatened.

I walked into the office building and up the stairs. The girl at the desk averted her eyes, which was the first red flag. The second came when I reached the top of the stairs and found not only Reo and the principal, but Narumi, Jinno, Anna, and Sumire. Imai was there, too, looking stoic.

Anna's face was tearstained. Sumire's brows were furrowed with concern. She looked like she had been crying, too, but had gotten herself together.

My stomach twisted. "Where is she?"

The principal inhaled sharply. "They took her."

I turned around and stalked back down the stairs, actively focusing on containing the rage I felt. Guess I was getting into the Organization after all.

* * *

 **MIKAN**

Rei came in again awhile later. If I hadn't been chained to the stupid chair, I would have tried to get past him. I would have fought like hell. Fists, nails, teeth...anything I could use to escape. But I was chained to a chair, so I was forced to sit there glaring at him defiantly as he demanded information from me again. I wanted to tell him, but despite Natsume's and Mrs. Yamada's affirmations that my alice was useful, I was too worried that it wouldn't be, and right now the only thing keeping me alive was the fact that I was potentially useful.

He left again, only for Youichi to come back awhile later with water and a small bread roll. He changed the gauze on my arm, and then left me in the dark again.

This happened several times, and the more it happened, the more suspicious—and concerned—I got. There was a method at work, and I was concerned about the outcome.

I didn't know how long I'd been there. I'd lost track of time long ago, having resorted to crying, mostly wishing they'd just kill me. Rei came back when I was in that state, and I watched as his lips turned up into a sadistic smile.

"I think you're ready," he said, before pulling a set of keys out of his pocket and approaching my chair.

He freed my hands first, and the chain falling to the ground brought to my attention how much it had been weighing me down. My muscles protested as they were released from the load. I was weak and tired, but I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't at least _try_ to escape. As soon as he'd finished unchaining both of my legs, I swung my bare foot up and kicked him in the face.

Rei grunted and fell back, and I shot to me feet. Big mistake. I'd been forced to sit for the last long while, so when I tried to stand, my legs decided they weren't going to support me. I didn't even get one full step away before I was crashing to the concrete floor.

Rei was angry, but he didn't call me names or shout at me like I expected. Instead, he grabbed me by the arm—my injured arm—and squeezed, digging his fingers into the gauze that covered the open wound, eliciting a strangled cry from me.

"Try it again," he whispered in my ear. "I dare you."

I didn't try it again. Instead, I let him drag me on my tingling legs down a long corridor that was at least warmer than my room had been. But there were no windows, and the few doors we passed her closed. We stopped at one door, where another man was standing, and Rei motioned me inside.

"You have one minute."

The other man followed me inside the room, which I discovered was a bathroom. As creepy as it was, he stood, facing me as I went, although he kept his eyes averted. When I was done, he brought me back outside and joined Rei and I to the end of the hallway. I noticed Rei's lip was bleeding, and couldn't help but feel smug.

Two metal doors slid open, and Rei shoved me roughly into the elevator.

"So clothes are still out of the question?" I asked, only to be silenced with a sharp glare.

The elevator surged down. I stared at my bare legs and tried not to feel violated by these men, instead wiggling my toes to see if I could trust my limbs. When the doors dinged open, I ran.

Straight into another body.

"She keeps doing that," Rei said on a sigh. "Might want to tell her to straighten out her act."

Baldy stared down at me disdainfully. "Behave, missy."

Like before, I felt no inclination to do as he said, but in attempt to stay alive, I did as I was told.

We were in large open space, again with no windows. There were two long metal tables in the middle of the room, about two feet apart, with a large machine between them. One table was empty, while the other one was occupied by a small body.

My breath caught in my throat.

"What are you doing with him?" I demanded.

"He's agreed to help us," Baldy said, taking me by the arm and leading me to the center of the room.

The bad feeling in my stomach made my chest burn. There were two more men in the room, one being the man that had accompanied Youichi, and as far as I could tell, no other exits aside from that elevator.

Rei walked to the other bed, where Youichi lay, and touched his scared face. "You are doing a good deed, Youichi."

"Don't touch him," I snapped, trying to jerk my arm free from Baldy.

"I thought I told you to behave," he growled. "Get on the table."

" _Behave_ isn't very specific," I shot back as I climbed onto the table, too aware of my lack of clothing in front of all these men. "It's a matter of interpretation. I feel like you should know this, since it's probably pretty detrimental to the effectiveness of your alice and all."

"Shut up."

They strapped me into the table roughly, pinching my skin in the buckles and ignoring my cries of pain when they jostled my arm and tightened the straps right over my raw wrists. I turned my head to look at Youichi, who was staring straight at the ceiling, his eyes wide with fear.

I wanted him to look at me, but Baldy's command to shut up was in the back of my mind. If I talked, they'd know. Instead, I followed the wires that were attached to his face, head, and torso to the machine that stood between the two beds, to the wire that led to a device that Baldy now held in his hand.

Rei and the other men lined up around the tables. I searched the faces of the other two, but the one still wouldn't look at me and the other was too busy watching Rei.

Baldy pressed the device into my hand. I immediately dropped it. Frustration passed over his face; he bent down to pick it up, and over top of him, I thought I saw the ghost of a smile on the face of the man who wouldn't look at me.

"Hold onto this," he said this time when he pressed it into my hand.

Taking the new command as a sign that the old one was no longer in effect, I looked at Youichi. "Look at me, Youichi." When he did, I said, "We're going to be okay."

"Stop talking to him!" Baldy ordered.

I turned my eyes to Baldy. "Do you always have to tell people to do what you want? Instead of them just wanting to do it for you? I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but I bet no one in this room actually _likes_ you."

His eyes narrowed. "Press the button."

My heart raced as I tried to decide whether this was a trick or not. Maybe the wires weren't even hooked up. And even if they were, I didn't know what they were hooked up _to_. Did I believe that this group of grown men would risk hurting a child?

Exhaling slowly, I pressed the button, and was rewarded with a whimper coming from the table beside me. My chest constricted.

"You son of a bitch," I whispered, fighting tears as I stared at the ceiling. "Why are you doing this?"

Rei hung over me. "I think I know what your alice is, Mikan. I just need proof. That's all I need."

I glanced at Youichi. He wasn't looking at me, but was shaking where he lay on the table. I closed my eyes briefly, wishing none of this had ever happened, blaming my dad for the mess I was in, and then dropped the device in my hand.

"You got me," I said. "I'm immune to alices. Big whoop. So exciting."

"Daichi," Rei said to one of the other men. "Take her back to her cell. She can rest a couple of hours, and then we need her back here. I'd like to see the limitations of her alice."

"That sounds painful," I grumbled as Daichi, the man I thought I'd seen smiling, began unbuckling my restraints. "Shouldn't you know the limitations of my alice, Rei? Takes one to know one."

Daichi glanced at Rei while silence fell over the rest of the room. The last buckle came free and I sat up just in time to see the look of surprise before it melted back into his apparent permanent look of distaste.

"And what, my dear, would bring you to that conclusion?"

I slapped Daichi's hands away as I hopped off the table. I was outnumbered, and by the sounds of it, I was going to need my energy for whatever was planned next. I put my next escape attempt on the backburner.

"If you weren't immune to alices, I assure you, Baldy there wouldn't be your right hand. You'd be his. There's only one way someone can run an organization with a bunch of power-hungry crazy people with superpowers, and that's to not be affected by them." I jerked free of Daichi when he tried to grab my elbow. "See you in a few hours."

Daichi waited until we were in the elevator before saying, "You'd be better off not pissing him off."

"Pissing him off is the only thing I can do. He's going to get his way either way, so I might as well annoy the hell out of him while he does it." I shot Daichi a glare. "Why do you care, anyway?"

He looked away quickly. "I don't."

"Will you let me go?" I didn't have a lot of hope, but he seemed to be the most humane one in the vicinity, so I figured it didn't hurt to ask.

He actually hesitated before he said, "No." When we got back to the cold room, he opened the door for me and motioned me inside. I stepped into the cold cell, curling my toes against the concrete, and eyeballed the chair warily. "Try to rest," he said, and then closed the door behind him.

Relieved to be free of the chair, I crawled into a corner of the room and curled up on my side.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

Reo stopped me before I could leave the building. "We need a plan," he insisted.

"No, we need to get her out of there before they-" I couldn't finish my sentence. If they figured out that she had a nullification alice, and that it was more powerful than Rei's, they would do worse things than kill her.

That girl had been through enough. I'd seen her panic attacks, watched her struggle under the weight on her shoulders, watched her try her best to be normal. If there was anyone in this world that did not deserve what Rei would do, it was her.

Reo grabbed my elbow. "If we want to get her out, we need a plan."

"How the hell did this happen?" I demanded.

"They got across the wall. We don't know how. But it sounds like the teleported to the dorm building, which triggered the alarm. They were already in her room. They tied up her roommate and forced her to hold a gun to her head." He hesitated. "Kyo was with them."

Compulsion. Of course. Legs called him Baldy. His alice wouldn't have worked on her, but they wouldn't have needed it. A threat against her friend was all they needed, and she would have bent to their will.

Kyo and I didn't have a good track record. The thought of him getting control of me again made me sick, but Legs was the priority. I would face him if I had to.

"I know you have an informant inside the Organization," Reo said, and it didn't surprise me that he knew. He always seemed to know. "Someone that gives you information and that has been trying to help you get inside. I think you need to call him."

I had already been planning on it. He would help me. If he didn't, I would have to question his moral standing. I nodded at Reo and turned my back, indicating that I didn't want him there for the conversation.

When I was alone, I pulled my phone out and hit speed dial.

My informant answered on the second ring. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

"You tell me," I snapped. "I want to know how they got onto the grounds."

"I'll find out. She's alive. And mouthing off Rei."

I clenched my jaw and pinched the bridge of my nose. "You're going to get me in there."

"I can't. It's too risky."

"Risky for you? What about her?"

"If things get bad, I'll figure something out." He sounded confident, but I knew he was uncertain. He had to be uncertain.

"I don't care if you have to jeopardize this whole stupid mission of yours," I growled. "You are going to let me in, and if you have to walk right to the front door and open it for me, then that's what you'll do."

"We have put too much into this-"

"They will torture her. You know that."

He was silent for a long moment, and then he said, "I'll call you back later tonight. I'm going to get some information and then we'll figure something out."

I had to resist the urge to crush my phone in my hand when the line went dead. The fact that she was alive was good. The fact that she was mouthing off Rei was good and bad. Good because it gave me some insight into her physical and mental health. Bad because Rei wouldn't stand for it for long.

"Natsume!"

My irritation flared at the voice as footsteps fast approached. "Not now, Luna," I barked.

She stopped in her tracks, looking offended. "But I have to tell you what I did."

" _Not now_."

She folded her arms across her chest, a chest that I would have had no shame in looking at had it been any other day. "God, why is everyone so uptight today?"

Instead of sticking around to deal with her shit, I went back into the office building. The principal stood up from where she'd been sitting with her heads in her hands.

"What's the plan?"

"There isn't one yet," I said bitterly. "Imai, I need something that can blow through steel without causing structural damage."

Imai nodded.

* * *

 **MIKAN**

I used the next several hours to recreate the layout of that room in my head. There was only one exit, as far as I could tell, and it involved the elevator. My chances of escape would rely heavily on how many men were present and where they were situated. It would also depend on my body and how much more of this torture it could handle.

Sleep came eventually, but it was brief. I was woken what felt like only minutes later by the door jarring open and several bodies rushing in to grab me. My hands were bound behind my back, this time with rope. The rope settled into the grooves in my skin left by the chains and stung. My injured arm was not treated as delicately as I would have hoped. They dragged me to the elevator, but this time we went further down. When the doors opened up, I was dragged down a dimly lit hallway and into another dimly lit room.

The giant basin of water in the middle of the room was cause for concern, not to mention Rei standing next to it with that ever-sadistic smile on his face.

I was forced to my knees in front of the basin. The connection of bone to concrete sent a shock of pain up my legs. I nearly fell straight into the basin, held back only by the hand that grasped a handful of my hair.

Daichi was not among the faces in the room. That was unfortunate, because I sensed that he was the weak link that could help me get out of here.

"Do you know what this is, Mikan?" Rei asked, motioning to the basin.

Wondering if it was a trick question, I said, "A basin of water?"

His smile was impatient this time. "Maybe I should rephrase. Do you know what this is used for?"

I'd seen enough crime shows to know exactly what they were going to use it for. My stomach twisted, and I had to fight the wave of emotion. I didn't answer him, instead choosing to stare defiantly at him.

"Did you know your father used to work for me? Of course, I didn't know he was undercover at the time. When I found out, I obviously couldn't keep him around. I had him killed, and the evidence destroyed. Imagine my surprise when I find out he has a daughter, and that he worked very hard to keep her a secret from me."

"I doubt he was trying to keep me a secret. Probably just didn't see the point in telling you about me, since I'm pretty useless."

His eyes met with the man behind me. Before I could brace myself, my face was being shoved into the ice cold water. I struggled against his grip, uselessly. Just before I ran out of air, I was jerked back out, left gasping.

"Did your father know you had an alice, Mikan? It would explain why that damned school swooped in so quickly."

"I don't know, you pyscho. You killed him before he had a chance to tell me I had an alice, if he even knew. Which I doubt." I was half-prepared for it when I was shoved back into the water, but it was no more pleasant. "What are you hoping to accomplish with this?" I coughed. "I don't have any information to give you."

"Alices become quite apparent when the body is under a lot of stress," he mused. "I'm simply trying to see the power of your alice."

"By trying to drown me?"

The next time I went under, someone else's hand went into the water with me. I felt a small zap, and when I came out of the water gasping again, I was appalled. "Did someone just try to shock me? Water is a conductor, you know."

"I know it's a conductor. That's why we're using it. And that was very impressive. That should have caused you a lot more discomfort than it did."

That was when I started to get really worried. Natsume said I was sensitive to some alices. And through trial and error, so far it had proven to be quite a few. If Rei didn't know that, then he was very likely to accidentally kill me by testing my alice this way.

The only solution I could think of was to try my best to stay calm. But that was laughable.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

Narumi had expressed urgency at getting her back, too. "Mikan is in a very fragile mental state," he said to everyone in the room. As if that wasn't obvious. "She's suffering from PTSD and anxiety and has the tendency to succumb to panic attacks. If they torture her..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "She needs to be rescued sooner rather than later. She's a strong girl, but even she has a breaking point."

I had spent the last couple hours pacing the office, waiting for Imai to return with something I could use to break into the Organization and for my informant to call me back. The principal was against this plan, because it meant going into the Organization in a manner that would alert everyone in there to my presence. But I didn't have a lot of options. Legs was my responsibility, and Narumi was only making me more desperate to get to her.

"Hyuuga." The voice was monotonous, and somehow still conveyed alarm. Imai stood at the door of the office, and I gritted my teeth when I saw that she stood with Luna beside her.

"What the hell, Imai?"

She walked across the room and handed me a device. I tried not to think too much about the fact that my best friend was dating a girl who could put an explosive together in a matter of hours. "This will get you in, but you need to hear what Luna has to say."

"I turned back time today," Luna announced proudly. "Several seconds."

All eyes in the room swung to her. No one had ever expected her to be able to do more than slow it down for a few seconds. Someone who could reverse time had a lot of power. More power than Luna had.

"Tell them how it happened," Imai ordered.

Luna took us through lunch period, including the confrontation with Legs. I boiled when she sheepishly admitted to slapping her, but the anger dissipated into something like dread when I realized what Imai was implying.

I had had my suspicions, after the incident with Koko's alice, but this confirmed it.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out quickly and brushed past Imai and Luna into the hall where I could have some privacy.

"They're torturing her," my informant said, emotion causing his voice to shake. "I'll get you in."

"What are they doing?" I demanded. He told me, and something that felt like panic shot through me. "Get her out of there. I don't care what you have to do. Get her out of there."

Even if they didn't accidentally kill her, they were going to find out something that would put her on lockdown. If she went on lockdown, I wasn't going to be able to get her back. I needed to get her back.

Luna wandered out into the hallway just as I was hanging up the phone. She looked smug. God, I hated that smug look on her face. I hated that I had slept with her in the first place. She'd been a distraction that had turned into a habit. A habit I needed to quit. A habit I _would_ quit. "So does that mean you're my Protector again?"

I could have killed her. "Are you that stupid? _You_ didn't reverse time. She did."

* * *

A/N: I felt kind of bad for leaving you guys with a cliffhanger, so here's another one! :) It will be a couple of days before the next update. I'm in the process of moving so I've got my work cut out for me this week. I'm hoping (don't hold it against me if it turns out I'm overly ambitious) to have the story complete by mid-June? We'll see how it goes. But worry not! This story WILL get finished and it will be complete in a timely manner. No months of waiting, because I know how frustrating that can be as a reader. Not to mention when you find a story you like that never ends up getting finished.

Thanks for all the reviews guys! It is a HUGE part of why I am updating so quickly. I just am so happy you guys are enjoying this story.

Also, a little PSA for you fellow coffee lovers out there: McDonalds is doing their Summer Drink Days, and they have medium iced coffees FOR ONE DOLLAR! There's just something wonderful about an iced coffee on a warm day. AND ONLY A DOLLAR. I just discovered this yesterday and I've already had three of them. The caramel ones are the best. And they aren't thaaaaaat bad for you.

I am in no way affiliated with the McDonalds marketing team, I just really wanted to share because I am STOKED.


	9. Never Say Never

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I will be your guardian  
_ _When all is crumbling  
_ _Steady your hand_

 _-_ Never Say Never  
The Fray

 **MIKAN**

The door to the room burst open. Daichi stood there, looking remarkably composed. He didn't look at me—surprise, surprise—but kept his gaze fixed solely on Rei. I thought I saw him trembling, but figured it was the water in my eyes.

"Something has set off the alarm," he announced. "North perimeter. Walkies aren't responding."

Rei glanced casually at his watch, then back down at me. "Interesting. You must be very valuable, indeed, if Natsume's come for you this quickly."

My heart sped up in a moment of relief before it dropped back to my stomach, thinking of the bullet holes in his abdomen. But the relief lasted, as Rei motioned to his men to bring me back to my cell. I hated that cell, but it was better than being drowned.

Rei stalked out of the room and Daichi entered further. He motioned to the two guys who had been about to lift me off the ground. "I'll take her. Go inspect the perimeter."

The two other men left, and I struggled to push myself to my feet without help. Daichi's hand on my arm was surprisingly gentle. He untied my wrists, but made sure that I saw the gun at his hip.

We were in the elevator when he turned to me, grabbing me by the shoulders to look me directly in the eye. My first reaction was to shrink away from him, but he held me fast. "Natsume isn't here." The small spark of hope I'd felt was extinguished. But he continued, "Not yet. I'm going to do my best to get him in, but he's asked me to pass on a message."

Trying to keep up with the rollercoaster of emotions I felt as he was talking, I narrowed my eyes. "Why are you helping me?"

"I have my reasons. Have you heard the story of the Eagle and the Arrow?"

I swallowed my heart, which had leapt into my throat. "Yes. Why?"

He hesitated, then shook his head. "That's all Natsume told me to tell you."

"Why are they doing this to me? What are they trying to find?"

"They are testing the limits of your alice. Rei's isn't strong; he is still at the mercy of other alices to some degree. He's worked to build up a special resistance to the compulsion alice, but others still affect him. Yours doesn't. But he wants to make sure that's all your father hid about you. He's under the impression that there's something else about you that he might find useful."

I turned my eyes to the ceiling as the elevator doors dinged open. "Thanks a lot, dad."

Daichi steered me down the hallway, stopping in front of the door to my cell. "I don't know how much time you have. There was no breach on the perimeter, and they'll figure it out soon. I'll try to convince them you need to rest."

He opened the door and pushed me inside. Before I could beg him to sneak me out, the door was slamming in my face.

Rest wouldn't be possible. I already knew that. The room was cold enough on its own, and now my hair and thin tank top were soaked in frigid water. I crawled back into the corner of the room, wrapping my arms around myself and pinching my eyes shut.

Did Natsume know that I knew all of Aesop's Fables? I didn't remember telling him. Maybe Hotaru had mentioned it. Not that I'd told Hotaru either, but she seemed to know everything whether she was told or not.

 _We often give our enemies the means to our own destruction_.

I stared hard into the dark, wondering what message he was trying to give me.

Youichi came back with food at some point, this time alone. He placed his tray down on the ground and slid it to me, but I didn't have the energy to move off the wall.

"Are you okay?" he asked in his small voice.

"I've had better days."

He glanced up at the camera in the corner of the room, then back to me. "They're going to bring you out again soon. You should eat something."

I closed my eyes in despair. "Do you know what they're going to do?"

Before he could respond, the door swung back open. The man on the other side motioned Youichi away. He cast me one last glance before obliging.

The food remained untouched. When the men came in to get me, they tripped over the tray. It seemed to annoy them, because their hands were rough as they dragged me to my feet. At least they didn't grab my injured arm.

They dragged me to the elevator, but this time we went further down. When the doors opened up, there was no hallway, just three stairs down into a flat area. On the other side of the area, three more stairs rose up. A door was set into the wall next to a shiny surface, which I could only assume was two-way glass.

There was no one in the room as far as I could see. I was dumped down the stairs, my shoulder colliding with the ground, and by the time I got my tired body to its feet, the only person in sight was a man in dark clothes standing guard in front of the elevator.

Cautiously, I approached the door next to the glass, unsurprised to find that it was locked. I knocked on the glass.

"Mikan."

I whirled around. Natsume stood at the bottom of the stairs, wearing dark jeans and his signature leather jacket. I didn't even think before I rushed towards him, stopping only when he pulled a gun from his waistband and pointed it at me.

"Natsume…" I said carefully, heart pounding. "What are you doing?"

Past him, I noticed the man stationed at the elevator hadn't moved, but was watching me curiously.

"I have to tell you something," he continued, gun moving with me as I tried stepping out of the way. "The last assignment the Organization gave me before I got away."

"Now isn't really the time for this," I whispered, searching his face.

"Kill your father. He knew too much. I blew up your house, Mikan."

Any relief I'd felt when I'd seen him dissipated immediately. My stomach sank and my heart ached, and I turned my back to him to face the glass.

"Natsume doesn't call me by my name," I announced. "Nice try though."

A hand wrapped around my hair and pulled me back, and I cursed my ability's uselessness. The Natsume that I was pretty sure wasn't Natsume threw me down, standing over me once I was on the ground, aiming the gun at my head.

Koko's hallucination popped into my head, the fact that I had been able to feel it when I shouldn't have. Panic shot through me, and I pushed myself out from underneath him and then rolled to my feet, lunging for the elevator, liking my chances against the lone man better than my chances against gun-wielding Natsume.

Before I could reach the elevator, a line of flames popped up in front of me. Natsume's advice to stay calm ricocheted through the back of my mind, but the foot on my chest was back. I stumbled backwards, falling to the ground as the heat licked my skin.

"Why are you running, Mikan?" Rei's voice said over the speakers in the room. "It's fake, isn't it?"

Koko's hallucinations were fake, too. Natsume was supposed to know everything, but his look of helplessness and confusion as I fought off a monster he couldn't see that shouldn't have been able to touch me was all I could see. It wasn't supposed to happen, and if I showed Rei that he could hurt me with images from my own mind, I wasn't sure what he'd make of it.

I scrambled to my feet and whirled back around, this time surprised to see that Natsume was gone but there was another body in the room—Youichi.

He was on the floor, curled up in the fetal position, wearing nothing but underwear. Around him, the floor was filling with water.

"Youichi!" I yelled, stepping down the steps into the water. For a moment, I hoped that he couldn't see or feel the water, that this was just another hallucination. But he lay on the ground, apparently unconscious, as the water level rose to his mouth and nose.

I ran across the water, deciding it was real and that he would drown if I didn't grab him, and scooped him up in my arms.

His lack of clothing, combined with mine, made sense in that moment as the sound in the room became dull, as black played around the edges of my vision, as my legs grew weak and my lungs forgot how to breathe. Every spot our skin touched was like our bodies had fused together. My knees hit the ground, Youichi still clutched to my chest.

No, I realized. I'd released my grip on him, certain that he was the source of this feeling, like the life was being drained from my body. He was holding onto me, limbs wrapped around me in what I first thought was just desperation.

And then I saw his face. The relief, the ecstasy. The way he stared unapologetically into my eyes as his body drew the energy from mine.

And then it was gone, and he was gone, and I was coughing air back into my lungs and waiting for blood to circulate back to my limbs.

Rei stood over me, holding Youichi, who looked dazed. He was covered from head to toe, his gloved hands holding Youichi away from his body. He looked partly pleased, partly confused, and partly fascinated. I was on the ground, soaked to the bone with cold water, which had begun to drain from the floor.

"Half a second," he said wondrously. "That's all it took for Youichi to take your energy. That shouldn't happen to someone who is immune, my darling. It looks like your father had something else to hide, after all." He looked at Youichi fondly. "You did well, son."

I wanted to push myself up, but my body felt as though it were made of lead. Instead, I lay on the wet floor, staring up at Youichi and Rei and wondering why I hadn't noticed their similarities sooner.

Rei had been playing me all along. Youichi was a pawn. Good cop, bad cop.

"Get up, Mikan," Daichi said from behind Rei. "You'll feel better if you walk it off."

"Just leave me here," I moaned. "I don't want to get up."

"You ran from the hallucinations, even though you knew they were only hallucinations," Rei mused. "Tell me why."

I sat up, saw Daichi glance at his watch, and then spat at Rei's feet. "Up yours, asshole."

He opened his mouth to respond, but paused when there was a loud bang somewhere above us. Immediately after, the sounds of the room vanished once more. I braced myself for the pain before realizing Youichi wasn't touching me, and then forced myself to look around.

Every body in the room was frozen, except Rei, who looked as surprised as I was, and it was like I was looking at them through clouded glass. The same second I realized that time had slowed, Rei realized it too.

I sprung to my feet, lunging for the elevator with renewed energy. He set Youichi's frozen body down and followed. Our footsteps were the only sounds in the silence. My head spun as I raced through what felt like deep water, deciding at the last second to throw myself through a door to the right of the elevator.

While he still moved after me, I noticed he was slower. Daichi was right; his alice didn't offer him the same amount of protection that mine offered me.

As soon as I was through the door, time bounced back, tripping me up as I flew up a flight of stairs. I crashed into the ground, giving Rei the time to recover and grab me by the ankle.

I pulled free and kicked back with my other foot, making contact with his nose hard enough that he fell backwards down a few steps. I made it to the next landing and, hearing voices from the stairs above me, made the executive decision to dart onto the floor.

It was the floor I'd been kept on, and I didn't know any exit except for the elevator. Knowing that wasn't a safe option, I ran the opposite way down the hallway, praying for another set of stairs.

Instead I got a body. They came around the corner at the same time that I did. I slid to a stop, staring down the barrel of a gun, and nearly collapsed in defeat until I heard a cautious, "Legs."

My eyes focused on the person at the other end of the gun, the gun which was now being withdrawn by its bearer, who was looking at me carefully.

I breathed slowly, analyzing every aspect of his appearance. He didn't appear to be trying to shoot me, and he'd called me Legs.

"Natsume," I gasped, leaping forward, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

He paused for a moment, holding me, before he seemed to remember where we were and swung us through a nearby door and locked it before gently dislodging me from himself, his hands flying down every inch of my body, looking for injuries.

"Where are you hurt?" he demanded, controlling me as I sank to the ground, brushing my wet hair off my face. No sooner had the words left his mouth did he notice my arm.

"It's fine," I wheezed. "I'm just happy to see you."

Unconvinced, he peeled part of the gauze back. It hadn't been changed in awhile, and now it was soaking wet. Whatever he saw underneath, it caused his expression to falter. Then he must have recognized there wasn't much we could do about it at that moment, because he abandoned the gauze to survey the rest of my body, noticing the bruises that covered my arms from being manhandled, the grooves on my wrists from the chains, and no doubt noticing my lack of clothing.

"What did they do to you?"

I turned my eyes to the ceiling and blinked back tears. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Just please, for the love of God, get us out of here."

He shrugged out of his leather coat, pulling it around my shoulders tightly, searching my face before he pulled me against his body and just held me there, spreading his warmth through my frozen core. Pinching my eyes shut, I pressed my face into his shoulder and inhaled his scent, the scent of calm and control. A sob racked my body, and his grip on me briefly tightened.

Voices sounded on the other side of the door, muffled. My whole body ceased. Natsume pressed his finger to his lips and carefully stood up next to the small window on the closed door, back pressed flat against the wall as he peered into the hall.

The voices got closer, and I could do nothing but cower on the floor in paralyzed fear. I wasn't even sure my legs would work anymore.

The room we were in was similar to the one I'd been in before, except less jail-like. This one had the window that Natsume was now looking out of and a bed, but nothing else.

As the voices became louder, Natsume looked down at me, watching for a reaction. "They're going to know we're in here," he said.

I nodded in understanding, wondering if that meant we were doomed.

He drew his gun back out of his pants, standing to the side of the door again. "Stay down until I tell you to get up," he ordered, and I was in no position to argue. He put his hand on the lock, holding it in place.

Someone shouted, "In here!" from directly outside the door, followed by the sound of the lock jiggling as someone tried to open it, and when that didn't work, a body thumping against the door trying to push it open. Next came the gunshots, which broke through the glass and were so alarmingly close to where Natsume stood that all I could do was cover my head and close my eyes and hope that when I opened them that he'd be okay.

The gunshots stalled, and in that moment, Natsume threw the door open and stepped out of my sight. I heard two more gunshots, and then a brief silence before he was back in front of me, pulling me up off the ground and ushering me out the door and past the two bodies on the floor.

We got up one more floor before more voices made Natsume drag me through another door. He seemed to know his way around, although I figured a laundry room wasn't a very original hiding place.

He pushed me behind him so that he was between me and the door, and then he held his hand under the doorknob, producing a small flame to heat up the metal.

The first thought that crossed my mind was of _Home Alone,_ and Kevin using the same tactic to ward off the burglars. Immediately after I remembered Anna's explanation on Natsume's inability to heal as quickly.

I grabbed his hand, but because of my lack of calm, succeeded only in burning myself and getting an irritated glare from Natsume. Tears welled in my eyes, which annoyed me more than anything.

"Don't use it," I whispered. "Anna told me-"

"I will do whatever I have to do to get you out of here," he shot back. "The only ways up to the main level are the elevator and the stairs. They'll have all levels above us on lockdown. We won't get far."

"I'm going to die in this laundry room with you, aren't I? All that wasted sexual tension."

"We're going to go down," he continued, only glancing at me briefly, maybe relieved that I still seemed to be myself. "Using the elevator."

" _Down_? We're going to get further into this place? After you just made me run up all those stairs?"

"Yes." He pushed me back until my back hit the wall behind me, partly concealed by the rack of clothing to my left. "Can you still run?"

"I-I don't know," I stuttered. The truth was that I was drained. From the conditions I'd been kept in and also from Youichi's alice. "I'll do my best. Which way is the elevator?"

Footsteps on the other side of the door slowed to a stop. We were outnumbered, by the sounds of it.

"Left, and then straight to the end, and then right."

"What if they catch up?"

Natsume checked the bullets in his gun. "They won't. Stay calm, Legs."

"You make me feel calm," I admitted.

He studied me for a moment, and then tangled his fingers in my hair at the back of my neck. At first I thought he was going to kiss me, and while I wasn't particularly opposed to the idea, I wondered if now was really the best time for that, and then I started to worry that he didn't think we were going to make it out.

"Open the door," Baldy commanded from the other side of the door. It wasn't directed at us, so Natsume didn't feel inclined to listen. But an expression did pass over his face that indicated Baldy's presence was unwelcome.

I grabbed the hand that was still tangled in my hair. "Maybe you can borrow some of my alice." And maybe I could borrow some of his calm.

Someone touched the door knob, still hot from Natsume's alice. The person gasped, reported back to Baldy, and was given the order again. The sizzling sound and the smell of burning flesh as the man opened the door, unable to resist the compulsive alice, made my stomach churn.

Natsume's jaw popped as he held my gaze for a moment more, and then he pulled away, turning his back to me to face the door. His gun was raised, but before the door was even open all the way, Baldy was saying, "Do not move."

Five men stood facing us, among them Rei, Baldy, and Daichi. Natsume was shielding me with his body, but I could still see Rei's scowl.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to find her," he mused, scanning Natsume from head to toe. "You look well, considering."

Natsume communicated his disdain through a fiery stare.

"Your assignment is quite intriguing," he went on, strolling casually forward. I forced my feet to stay glued, even though every fiber of my being wanted to sink further into the closet. "She's only just begun to lose her sharp tongue."

"Screw off, Rei," I forced out. Natsume still held his gun, though he'd been instructed not to shoot it. I took that to mean that my holding his hand wasn't working. I didn't know how tight of a grip he had on the gun, but I thought maybe I could grab it from him, if I was fast.

"Why don't we make a deal?" Rei continued, ignoring me. "You give me Mikan. I'll give you what you really came here for."

"I came here for her, Rei," Natsume seethed. "And I'm leaving with her."

"That can't be all true. You can't have forgotten already." He shrugged. "Very well. You'll save neither of them." He nodded once at Baldy. "Separate them. Make sure Natsume is incapacitated. Return Mikan to her cell."

The thought of what 'incapacitating' Natsume could entail made panic shoot through me like ice. At the same time, Baldy said, "Put your gun down," and pain ripped through my chest. Baldy and I both looked on in surprise as all the men who had their guns trained at us, as well as Natsume, bent down to place their guns on the ground.

I used the moment of shock to lunge for Natsume's gun. Baldy saw it on my face and shouted at someone to shoot, but my finger was already landing on the trigger. I closed my eyes as one bullet hit Baldy in the leg, and three more fired back at me.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I just wanted to post something before I go away for a couple days again.

Thanks for all the positive feedback! Love you all!


	10. Peace Sign

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _In the disorder,  
_ _You are the peace sign_

 _-_ Peace Sign  
Lights

When no pain came, I immediately assumed I'd suffered a wound to the head and had died instantly. But then I opened my eyes and saw Baldy on the ground, with Rei and three other men staring at me in shock, unsure of what had happened.

Natsume lunged forward. The sound his fist made as it contacted Daichi's face was kind of sickening. Briefly I wondered why he had done that, if Daichi had helped him. I didn't have time to wonder for too long, though, because I immediately noticed the way Natsume hunched over, clutching his side. I saw the blood on his hand, and my own blood ran cold.

He snatched the gun from my hand and fired three more shots. One hit Rei in the arm, and two more hit the other two men in the abdomen. Then flames erupted through the hallway, sending Rei running in the opposite direction, Baldy dragging himself and his injured leg after him. Daichi had recovered, too, and patted out flames on his jacket before glancing one last time at me and running for cover.

Natsume urged me out of the small laundry room. I latched onto him, wedging myself under his arm and clamping my hand down on the wound on his side. I did my best to half-carry him while gunshots rang around me, none of them striking their target through the fiery smokescreen.

"They shot you _again_ ," I gasped.

"There's a car garage on the bottom floor," he said, speaking through his teeth. "Keys are kept inside the vehicles. Pick one and go."

"Wait, what? Why can't you pick one?"

"You're going without me."

"Like hell I am." We came to the end of the hallway and I steered him right. "Either we're both getting out of here, or neither of us are."

I hammered on the elevator button, glancing over my shoulder every second. Natsume had expanded the fire down the hallway, making it difficult, if not impossible, to cross.

"Stop," I begged. "I know it hurts your body."

"It's better than being dead," he pointed out.

The doors dinged open and I lunged forward, knocking us both to the ground in the process. I scrambled back up, leaving him on the floor, and pushed the last button on the panel. The doors dinged closed and I turned my attention back to Natsume.

His face was losing color, and the amount of blood coloring his shirt was unsettling. I knelt down next to him, helped him sit up, and then pressed my hand to the wound, hoping to stall the bleeding.

"Oh, God," I whispered helplessly. "You cannot die on me. I'd never hear the end of it from Sumire or Luna."

"Leave me here," he ordered. "I can take care of myself."

I slapped my hands to either side of his face, forcing him to look at me. "We're getting out of here. Come on. Up."

The doors dinged open and we hobbled out into the cool garage. It was large, like an underground parkade, and filled with a variety of vehicles, from sports cars to SUVs.

"Fast or sturdy?" I asked him. "Do we need to run anything over?"

"Maybe people," he muttered. "Fast."

I dragged us over to the nearest sports car. It was unlocked and, as he'd promised, keys were in the ignition.

The stairwell doors burst open, turning the garage into a shooting range with us as the paper targets. I ducked behind the car, simultaneously shoving Natsume into the passenger seat. Hoping I was small enough that the bullets would miss, I skirted around the back of the car and dove into the driver's seat.

Before I had a chance to close the door, a hand was latching onto the door handle and pulling it all the way open. The hand was attached to a body that was ten feet away, and while I was still trying to process this, the other hand shot out and grabbed my ankle.

I grabbed onto the steering wheel as the man pulled, turning the key in the ignition and throwing the car into drive. I tromped on the gas, and the wheels spun before the car lurched forward, freeing me from the hand. The door shut on its own from the force, and I turned my attention to the road.

"Where do I go?" I shrieked frantically.

"Right," Natsume said weakly. "The door up there."

"It's closed!"

He reached up and smacked a button above our heads and I watched in relief as the door began to open. Slowly.

"Just keep going," he said. "We'll make it."

By now cars behind us were roaring to life. Natsume adjusted in his seat, keeping his hand pressed to his side, and made a motion with his hand.

A tire behind us popped, sending the pursuing vehicle into a spin.

"Stop using your ability!" I screamed as the car sailed through the door, scraping the roof along the bottom of the door as it opened too slowly.

I had to navigate up multiple levels before natural light became visible. The winding way up meant that I had to take it easy on the gas pedal, but when we reached the top, I breathed half a sigh of relief at the light of day.

Except for the barbed wire fence we still had to get through.

"Gate," Natsume ordered, pointing. "Floor it."

I did as I was told, cringing as the metal at the front of the car protested at the fence before ultimately pushing through.

"How do I get to the school?" I demanded, glancing in the rear view mirror to see three cars still on our tail.

"We're not going to the school."

"Why not! You need a doctor! A doctor with superpowers!"

"Someone at that school is the reason you ended up here in the first place and until I find out who, I'm not taking you back there."

"That doesn't make any sense! That's the safest place for us to be!"

Instead of responding, he looked over his shoulder again at the vehicles in hot pursuit. "Lose them."

I gritted my teeth, wishing I could cuss him out for thinking I was capable of that and then being grateful that my dad had taught me defensive driving. His super-spy version, anyway.

I took a sharp right, watching as our pursuers followed behind. We were on the outskirts of the city, which meant that they could see where I was headed while being far enough away to make the same turns as me.

I eased off the gas, waiting until the SUVs had caught up before I pulled the car left, tires screeching as we sailed around the corner. The car scraped a parked car, but I was too busy feeling victorious that only one SUV had been able to make the turn with me.

Traffic began to get thicker, and as I weaved dangerously in and out, I noticed Natsume's lack of direction.

"Natsume," I begged, punching his shoulder. "Don't pass out on me. I need you."

"You're doing fine," he muttered.

"I can't believe you're trusting me behind the wheel with your eyes closed. Where are we going?"

"To a safe house."

I steered the car around another sharp corner, flooring it through the red light of an intersection, ignoring the honks from other cars, and watching in my rear view mirror as our last tail spun to a stop, hitting another car in the process.

My victory was short-lived. As we crossed through another intersection, a black blur came from our left. Before I could decide what it was, the SUV was careening into the back driver's side of the car, sending us into a tail spin.

Dazed with ears ringing, I squinted through the windshield. We'd stopped moving, and I watched as two men got out of the SUV with the smashed front, both with guns pointed at us.

"Legs." Natsume's voice came to me as if he were speaking to me underwater. "Drive."

I reflexively hammered on the gas pedal. The car, despite its injuries, plunged forward. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact of the bodies on the car, but it never came.

"They moved out of the way," Natsume informed me. "Watch what you're doing. Are you hurt?"

I started to tell him that I wasn't, but emotion was starting to set in. My throat tightened and water rushed to my eyes. Unable to speak without fear of losing it, I shook my head vigorously.

After several seconds, when I was composed enough to trust my voice not to break, I asked, "Do these cars have GPS?"

"Probably."

I swung the car into a mostly-empty parking lot in front of an office building, eyes peeled for any black SUVs. I pulled in next to an older car, probably a '95, and glanced quickly at Natsume before ducking out of our car, looking around cautiously, and then using a rock from the landscaped parking lot to smash the window. It took me a minute, but I was able to pry the panel off from underneath the steering wheel and find the wires my dad had showed me.

With an exhale of relief, the car purred to life.

I pulled Natsume out of the sports car and shuffled him around to the passenger seat, always looking over my shoulder. The Organization coming after us was bad enough, but I was certain my lack of clothing, the fact that there was snow on the ground and I wasn't wearing shoes, and the amount of blood on both me and Natsume would draw attention. The last thing we needed was cops.

"You can hotwire a car but can't grasp simple math equations," Natsume commented, looking at me through half-shut eyes.

"They're completely different skills. Not at all related. You need a hospital," I insisted, ripping out of the parking lot.

"Safe house," he repeated.

"Natsume-"

"Left."

I followed his directions, glancing over at him as often as I dared to make sure he hadn't quit breathing on me. When we got to our destination, a small bungalow in a plain neighborhood, I had already made up my mind about going back to the school.

We parked in the back and I helped him through the backyard to the back door, where he directed me to the key attached under the wooden stairs by a magnet. I unlocked the door and stumbled inside, locking it behind us and then stumbling with him into the kitchen.

"Table," he ordered. I swept my arms over the table, sending the centerpiece crashing to the floor. He rolled onto it, motioning to a room down the hall. "There's a medical kit in the bathroom."

I rifled through the drawers in the small bathroom until I came across a big kit with a giant red cross on it. I hauled it back into the kitchen, where Natsume was peeling his shirt off.

"What are you going to do?" I demanded.

"You're going to take the bullet out."

I froze, my heart catching in my throat. "Please, no."

"I need you to."

"Can't you need someone else to? Let me call the school. They'll send someone to get us. They can teleport a doctor to us."

"We're not going back to the school, Legs. There's a bottle of vodka in the cabinet over there."

With shaking hands, I popped open the cabinet and retrieved the half-empty vodka bottle. Suddenly unable to feel my feet under me, I floated back to the table and held it out absently to him.

He took it from me, popped off the lid, took a swig, and then dumped a hefty amount onto the gaping bullet hole. The expression that came over him was so different than his usual nonchalant one that I forgot how to breathe momentarily. He grunted softly.

"Wash your hands."

"Natsume-"

"I need you to take it out."

I hurried over to the sink and scrubbed my fingers until they were pink. Even then, I returned to the table and Natsume poured vodka on my hands before offering me the bottle. I hesitated, and then shook my head, certain I would throw up.

"Your hands are shaking," he commented.

"You're asking me to extract a bullet from your _body_. Of course my hands are shaking, you twat."

His lips curved, if only the slightest, but it vanished soon after. "Do it fast."

"Should I throw up before or after?"

"After."

Catching my breath, I touched my finger against the wound, cringing when he inhaled sharply. I started to withdraw my hand, but he caught my wrist, holding it fast.

"Like a Band-Aid," he urged me.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and forced my finger into the hole. He made a sound of pain which was the most sound I'd ever heard from him at one time, and while instinct told me to get away from him, I forced my mind blank and forced my finger deeper until I felt metal.

"Got it," I whispered, curling my finger around the bullet and pulling it up before sticking my thumb in to pull it out the rest of the way. When it came free, I threw it to the ground as if it were on fire.

A thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead, and his eyes were closed, brow furrowed in pain. I watched him, my own breaths heavy, until he opened an eye and motioned for the vodka bottle. I handed it to him, and he took another pull straight from the bottle.

My stomach turned, and even though I was certain there must be nothing in me to throw up, I stumbled to the bathroom and emptied my stomach of what little was in it. My breaths were still shallow when I got back into the kitchen, and I wasn't sure how much time I had left conscious, which was why I nearly fainted at his next request.

"Stitch me up," he ordered.

"Natsume," I whimpered. "Please, no. I can't."

"I need my body to heal."

"I _can't._ "

His eyes cracked open, surveying my stricken expression. Slowly, he sat up. "Give me the kit."

He stitched his own wound up while I looked on in horror and amazement. His expression would change now and again, which was amazing to me because up until that moment I had thought he was immune to pain. Even though watching made me queasy, I stood closer to him, partly concerned he'd pass out from the pain as he threaded his skin back together.

When he was done, I flopped down in the chair next to the table, exhausted. My hands were crusted with blood, but I couldn't bring myself back to my feet. He eased himself back down, keeping his hand on his wound. I tried not to notice his muscles, because now really wasn't the time, but they were just _there_. And they were nice.

Hoping to distract myself, I looked around. The kitchen looked so eerily normal, save for the bleeding man on the kitchen table, that I wondered if someone actually lived here. There were dishes in the sink, a half-empty pot of coffee, and a box of cereal on the counter.

My hands still shook, my knees knocked together, and my whole body felt as though it were about to fall apart. Hoping for some consolation, I picked up the vodka bottle and took a long drink, flinching as the taste registered.

"Far cry from the girl who would order whiskey just to stare at it," Natsume commented.

"Yeah, well, that was a thousand years ago. And drinking to numb the grief is different than taking a shot and hoping my nerves calm down."

"There are clothes in the bedroom. And blankets. You need to warm up."

Because I wasn't about to argue, I went to wash my hands and then went on a search through the house for the bedroom. I found a pair of sweatpants, a fresh, unsoiled and dry T-shirt, and a pair of fuzzy socks—all men's—and then slipped Natsume's jacket back on. I pulled the blankets from the bed and dragged them across the house back to the kitchen.

I found an empty glass in the kitchen and filled it with water from the tap. I eyed the box of cereal, aware of my grumbling stomach, but decided against it and returned to the table with the water.

"Why do you think someone at the school helped the Organization?" I asked, offering him the glass of water. I could be mad at him for making me do that when we were safe; for now, we needed each other. When he declined, I downed the whole thing myself.

"They teleported onto the grounds. The alarm was triggered when they crossed the barrier, but there wasn't enough time between when the alarm went off and when Anna said you were taken for them to have gone searching for your dorm. They teleported straight to it. And conveniently while I wasn't there."

"Is Anna okay?" I asked. "And Sumire?"

"They're fine. Shaken. Feeling guilty. Sumire said you got in a fight."

I thought back to our spat, feeling silly for it now. "About you, of course. You cause more trouble than you're worth. Any ideas who it might be? The person that helped the Organization, I mean."

He didn't even skip a beat when he said, "Tsubasa."

I frowned. "You can't just say Tsubasa because you don't like him. He's only ever been nice to me. I can't see why he'd sell me out." When he didn't respond, I asked, "Why do you hate him so much, anyway?"

He looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he said, "He tried to tell the whole school that I had burnt my family's house down while they were still inside."

My jaw dropped. I felt it hit the floor. " _Why?_ "

"Because the girl he liked didn't want him, she wanted me. It was stupid, but I hate him for it."

I nodded my head, still in disbelief. It was hard to imagine Tsubasa, who had always been sweet to me, being petty and mean like that. "I'm sorry he did that to you, Natsume. I'm also assuming that, because you're still a hot topic at Alice Academy, that it didn't work in his favour." After a long pause, I said, "I would put money on Luna."

Silence hung between us. Well, silence aside from Natsume's laboured breathing. I watched him intently, concerned. I didn't know what kind of internal damage the bullet had done, and Anna had said that Natsume's alice affected his ability to heal.

As if he could feel me staring, his eyes opened a slit. Then he started to sit up. I lunged forward, intending to hold him down, but he brushed me off easily.

"Let me look at your arm," he ordered.

I looked down at the wet, blood-stained gauze and felt my stomach turn. "It's fine," I insisted. Avoidance was an okay strategy sometimes, right?

"It's infected."

"They cleaned it, though."

"Who did?"

I swallowed thickly, thinking of Youichi. Was he Rei's son? Was that his purpose all along? To get me to form a bond with him only to use that bond to trick me into touching him, where his alice was allowed to work?

 _Half a second_.

Rei's voice sent chills down my spine. It shouldn't have happened that quickly, he'd said. Especially to someone with an immunity alice. And then there was the hallway, the look of shock as all the men put down their guns when the command had been directed at Natsume.

"I don't know what his name was," I answered eventually. "But I promise he cleaned it."

Natsume caught my wrist, firmly enough that I couldn't pull away, and peeled back one of the patches. "They didn't do a very good job."

"If you try to dump vodka on it, I will kill you," I warned.

He didn't try to dump vodka on it, but he did clean it with alcohol wipes from the medical kit. He worked silently, ignoring my cursing. When my eyes started to water, I tried to distract myself by watching the muscles in his shoulders and arms flex as he worked. When it was clean, he dressed it in clean bandages, but his hand lingered on my arm. I didn't want him to stop.

I slid underneath his arm, pulling it over my shoulders and helping him stand. "No point in laying on the kitchen table when there's a perfectly functional bed down the hallway."

His face had contorted in pain again by the time I laid him down on the mattress and pulled the blankets over him.

"What can I do?" I asked helplessly.

"Lay with me."

I narrowed my eyes, fighting a blush. "Now's not the time for jokes."

"You need to rest."

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm not closing my eyes until I'm sure you're not going to die." I turned slightly so that I could look at him.

He reached his hand into the pocket of his jacket, which I was still wearing. Before I could stop him, he'd popped the lid off the small bottle and popped two pills in his mouth. I still tried to stop him, of course, by lunging forward and grabbing his face with every intent on fishing the pills out of his mouth with my fingers, but I was too slow.

"They're meant to help, idiot," he said quietly, talking about the pills that Anna had hinted played a hand in his body's inability to heal.

"Are they, though? All they do is get you out faster so you can get shot again." I motioned to his body. "Case and point. And then your body doesn't heal on its own, like it's supposed to."

"Your hands are cold," was all he said, eyes closing again.

I sighed, pulling the blankets back and wiggling underneath them. My body felt like ice compared to his, and I wasn't even touching him. I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my arm, staring intently at him.

"What?" he muttered.

"Nothing." As inconspicuously as I could, I sidled closer to him until my front was flush with his side. His skin was warm, and it helped warm me up from the inside. My hair was still damp, but he didn't seem to mind.

My hand skimmed across his abdomen, tracing the planes of muscle while being careful to avoid his wound. I don't know what he thought I was doing, but I could tell by his reaction that he didn't expect my hand to suddenly plunge into the pocket of his jeans and grab his cell phone.

I rolled off the bed, simultaneously hitting the first number that came up in his recent calls.

"Legs," he said in warning, trying to sit up after me.

Reo answered on the first ring with, "What's your status?"

"We need help," I blurted. "We're in a safe house and Natsume got shot and I pulled the bullet out but he needs medical attention-"

"Mikan?"

I cringed at the sound of my name, hearing it in Rei's voice instead. "Yes. Please send someone."

"Which safe house are you at?"

Before I could respond, pain shot through my palm. I dropped the phone, watching the smoke rise from it, the screen black.

I glared at him, but his eyes were closed. "They're going to find us. There can't be that many safe houses."

"You're an idiot," he said quietly.

"You are not dying for the sake of my safety. We'll find who's helping the Organization from there. With you alive." I stared at the broken phone on the floor for a moment longer before sighing and crawling back into the bed. The warmth was hard to resist. I wasn't going to invade his space again, leaving a generous amount of space between us, but he sighed and slid his arm underneath me, reeling me into him.

I listened to his breathing for a long time, finding calm in its rhythm. Until it stopped.

"Natsume?" I sat up. His mouth was slightly agape, and the rise and fall of his chest was barely noticeable. I hopped off the bed and ripped the blankets back, slapping his face gently. "Hey, dumbass. Wake up."

Outside, I heard car doors slamming shut. Torn between going to look at who was arriving, to make sure they were the good guys, and trying to wake Natsume up, I sufficed for running back to the kitchen and grabbing his gun from where he'd dropped it on the table before returning to the bedroom. I pointed the gun at the door while prodding him with the other hand, hoping to wake him.

"Not a good time for this, asshole," I whispered frantically.

The door burst open. Footsteps thundered down the hall. Reo was the first person I saw, with that god-awful cross around his neck. Sumire was the second. Mr. Narumi was the third.

"Help him!" I cried.

Reo slipped past me, while Mr. Narumi and Sumire remained standing at the door, their hands in the air.

"Mikan," Mr. Narumi said gently. "Put the gun down."

I looked down at my shaking hand, then back to where Reo was checking Natsume's pulse. I loosened my grip and the gun bounced across the floor. Sumire was on me in seconds, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight.

"I'm so sorry, Mikan. I'm so sorry."

"Knock me out," I begged. "Please, knock me out."

Her fingers brushed across my forehead, and then I was gone.

* * *

A/N: Another short chapter, sorry guys!

Some questions that have been asked through reviews I'm going to leave unanswered for now because the answers should turn up in later chapters. Please keep asking questions though, because it helps me to fix any holes in the storyline! Sometimes there are things I don't think of, so that's why feedback is so great.

See you soon!


	11. Demons

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I want to hide the truth  
_ _I want to shelter you  
_

 _-_ Demons  
Imagine Dragons

I peeled my eyes open, half expecting to see darkness and feel cold, and surprised to find that I was way too warm and staring at a ceiling fan. I watched one of the blades rotating for a moment, and then sat up abruptly when realization dawned on me.

The room was lit by the light coming in from the window—I never thought I'd be so happy to see a window—and looked strikingly familiar. My room, I realized, with a person passed out next to me on the bed.

Sumire was lying with her face down in the pillow next to mine, hair splayed out around her head, legs and arms splayed out to take up most of the bed, and she was snoring gently.

I poked her shoulder, initiating the frantic response of sitting up and rolling off the bed in a flurry of arms and legs.

"What's wrong?" she said before she'd even really woken up. When her eyes settled on me, staring at her with a raised eyebrow, she lunged forward, arms flying around my waist and effectively shoving us both off the bed and into a heap on the floor.

The bedroom door burst open. "What the hell?" Anna shrieked.

"Ow. Sumire. Ow."

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy you're awake!" she exclaimed, pushing herself off me to look me over with watery eyes. "I'm so sorry, Mikan. This happened because I was being stupid and I knew Natsume was gone and in his absence I had a responsibility to protect you and I let you down. I let you and Anna both down. And I will never forgive myself for that."

It hadn't even crossed my mind to be mad at her for _that_ as much as I'd been mad at her for being mad at me for no reason, so it was easy for me to open my arms and motion her in for a hug.

She buried her face in my neck. "I'm sorry I blamed you for thinking about Natsume. Honestly, half the school probably day dreams about him. Even if it did mean more than you're letting on, I-"

"Sumire," I interrupted, pushing her back so I could look at her. "Is he okay?"

Natsume lying on the table, pale from blood loss, my own hands covered in that blood, flashed through my head, bringing with it a wave of anxiety. I didn't look at her, afraid to hear the answer or to see it on her face.

"He's fine," Anna said, helping us both stand. "They fixed him up. He's just been resting. He was home from the hospital before you were."

"I was in the hospital?"

Sumire looked away guiltily. "You were freaking out when we found you. Natsume lost consciousness and I think you were scared so you asked me to knock you out. Do you remember? My ability knocks people out for minutes, very rarely hours. I've never knocked someone out for six days before."

"Six _days_?"

"Natsume said your ability was out of control, and it gets worse when you're anxious. They kept you in the hospital for observation until they were sure you would wake up, and then they let us take you home. I'm just happy I didn't kill you. I just put you into a coma, because I'm a great friend."

"I'm going to be so behind-"

Anna shook her head. "You're not going to be in classes for awhile. Mrs. Yamada wants you to undergo a psych evaluation before it's even considered. That was the only reason they let Sumire go when you called Reo with your location. Mr. Narumi said it would be better for you if you had someone there for you that you were close to, and since she's a Protector she was allowed to go." Her eyes were troubled. "Everyone wants to hear what the hell happened to you in there."

I frowned at her. "What about you? Are you okay?"

She combed her fingers through her hair and nodded, forcing a smile. "I'm okay. Little bit of post-traumatic stress, but I'm sure nothing compared to what you've been going through. I can't imagine this is going to help your already-existing case of PTSD."

"Thanks for the positive thoughts, Anna!"

"I'm sorry. I just feel so stupid for what they did to me. Compulsion is a hell of an ability."

"Yeah, well, luckily it didn't work on me." For some reason, fake-Natsume that had been projected by someone from the Organization popped into my head. He'd had a hell of a lot to say. "Is it really impossible to resist?"

She adopted a distant look as she recalled. "It feels like someone else is controlling your body. I was still there, in my head, trying to resist. But someone else was moving my arms." She grabbed my hand, smiling with reassurance until her smile landed on my arm. "How did this happen?"

I followed her gaze, surprised to see a pale scar there. "They said it happened when they teleported me. They weren't able to heal it?"

"The doctors figured it was because it had been open too long," Sumire offered. "But they didn't seem convinced."

"Do you think that the Organization gave me something so it wouldn't heal?"

Anna shook her head. "What would that accomplish? Your body has been under a lot of stress. Natsume said when he found you-" Her voice broke, and instead of trying again, she wrapped her arms around me. "We're so happy to have you back."

"Mrs. Yamada has asked Mr. Narumi to come up and grill you for information," Sumire explained, leading us out of my room. "She asked us to tell her when you wake up, but we can hold her off for a bit, if you want."

I swallowed thickly at the thought of talking about what had happened. I wasn't even sure I had all the events straight in my head, let alone being ready to relive them. "Let's hold her off."

In the living room, I was relieved to see that nothing was amiss. Everything felt normal, and for a second I could pretend I had never left. Anna dragged me over to the couch. She sat me down in the middle, squashed between her own body and Sumire's. "Since you don't want to talk about what happened _there_ , we'll talk about what happened here."

"Natsume unofficially broke up with Luna," Sumire piped up, maybe a little too enthusiastically. "She was going all crazy because he wasn't paying attention to her while he was looking for you. It didn't end well."

A foggy memory from that wretched room with Rei came back to me. "I think she helped me."

"She did," Anna confirmed. "Because Natsume asked her to. It worked, then?"

I scratched my head. "What was the goal?"

"Natsume was already inside the Organization. He thought that having Luna slow time would give you a chance to get away from your captors, since you're not affected by her ability."

"Then yeah, it worked. Must have been hard for her to agree to that."

"Natsume can be very persuasive."

The door to our dorm opened without warning. I ducked down on the couch, thinking it was Mr. Narumi, but only Hotaru walked in.

"Hey, Hotaru," Sumire said. "We're hiding Mikan from Mr. Narumi if you want to join."

"Mikan," Hotaru said softly. "I'm glad to see you."

"You are?" I asked in disbelief. "I mean, I'm glad to see you, too."

"I've taken the liberty of arranging appointments with Mr. Narumi two times a week, indefinitely, for you."

I sighed, sinking further into the couch. "Thanks, Hotaru." I said it with exasperation, but I figured she knew what she was doing. I'd been tortured, after all. Therapy was probably necessary.

This time, when someone knocked on the door, we knew who it was. Hotaru, since she was standing, went to answer it.

"Hotaru," Mr. Narumi said, pleasantly surprised. "It's nice to see you."

Anna got up to join her at the door and motioned Mr. Narumi in begrudgingly.

"Mrs. Yamada figured you'd be trying to hide her from me," he said lightly, striding in with a briefcase in hand. "I'm sorry girls, Mikan and I really must talk. Do you mind going next door in the meantime?

"They can stay," I insisted.

Mr. Narumi turned his smile to me. "I really insist that it just be the three of us."

"Three?"

Anna looked past Mr. Narumi and smiled. "Come on in, Natsume. We'll go hang out with the boys."

Sumire reluctantly got to her feet, squeezing my shoulder as she went, and shooting Natsume a smile as she passed him on his way in.

His colour was back. He didn't look so tired, although he still didn't look rested. But perhaps the most reassuring factor was the small smirk that found its way to his lips when his eyes landed on me.

I wanted to say something snarky, but seeing him alive was too much of a relief. The air left my lungs, and I started to think that our relationship probably wouldn't be the same after what we'd been through. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

But I didn't want to cue him into the fact that I felt different, so I smiled dryly and said, "Oh, look. My knight in shining armour." I folded my arms and sank into the couch, suddenly aware of the fact that I hadn't showered since before I'd been taken, although I must have been bathed at some point because I wasn't caked in dirt. My hair felt greasy, though. But I guess I probably still looked better than I had when he found me.

Natsume sat on the couch next to me, closer than I expected. "Shouldn't you be happy to see me?"

"I knew you were alive. That's all I needed." Which wasn't true, of course. I was ecstatic to see him.

"Mikan, are you upset with Natsume?" Mr. Narumi asked, opening his briefcase and producing a pad and paper.

I tried not to cringe at the sound of my name. "Yes, I am. He made me pull a bullet out of his body and then tried to die on me."

"But he didn't."

"But he tried."

"I wasn't trying, Legs."

Mr. Narumi was nodding his head. "You seem like yourself, Mikan. This is great news."

I turned to face Natsume, noticing he was wearing dark jeans and a dark t-shirt that was tight across his chest. "What the hell were you thinking? You didn't even want to come back to the school in the first place. So, what? You were just going to die out there and leave me by myself?"

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't die."

"Only because I called for help!"

"Enough," Mr. Narumi said, loudly enough to be heard over our bickering but not loud enough to disrupt his quiet demeanor. "You two have some unresolved issues that I might suggest you talk about. In private. Mikan, I'd really like to hear what happened to you."

"Mr. Narumi, I just woke up. I've been through hell and back, and I'm tired."

He shook his head. "This is best to do while it's freshest in your mind."

"Won't it send me into a psychotic meltdown?"

"It shouldn't. The information you provide to us may just help us in disbanding the Organization. By knowing what they were planning on using you for, we can make some deductions about where their strategies are headed."

I sighed in defeat, sweeping my hands over my face and turning back to face Mr. Narumi. "Okay. Go."

They'd already heard everything that had happened in the dorm room from Anna, so I picked up from when I woke up in the cell with a gaping wound in my arm. Natsume glanced down at mit. Feeling self-conscious and a little upset that the scar would be there forever, I pulled it into myself to shield it from him.

"You don't remember anyone giving you the wound?" Mr. Narumi questioned.

"No. They said it happened when they teleported me because of the barrier around the school. I don't think they'd have any reason to rip my arm open while I was unconscious. Where's the enjoyment in that? They certainly made sure to enjoy my suffering as much as they could."

He stared at me analytically for a second, wrote something down, then waved me on. "Continue."

I hesitated. Everything from then on required me to tell them about Youichi. The shame that I felt at not insisting Natsume and I try to save him too was suffocating. But he was Rei's son. He'd been part of their plan all along. And I'd seen that look of satisfaction on his face after he'd nearly sucked the life out of me.

I started with my first meeting with Rei, the conditions I was held in, the chains and the cold, dark room, and then finally, mentioned Youichi.

"A boy?" Mr. Narumi asked, glancing at Natsume. "How old?"

"8 or 9," I said, staring at the floor. "They sent him in to take care of my arm and bring food and water because they didn't think I'd try to hurt him to get out."

"Would you?"

"Of course not. Not that I could. They had me chained up." At least the grooves on my wrists had healed. "But they didn't expect me to. They had it planned."

I explained the first 'test' they'd given me, with the electroshock machine. Picturing the fear on Youichi's face, the real fear, and the trust when he'd looked at me, caused my heart to lodge itself in my throat. How could a father do that to his son?

"They suspected what your ability was," Mr. Narumi offered. "But wanted to test their theory. And it worked?"

I nodded. "I pressed the button when I was told to, just once. I thought maybe it was a trick. But it wasn't."

Natsume stood up, going to stand by the window, arms crossed over his chest, back to us. Assuming he was judging me for giving a round of electroshock therapy to a young boy, I closed my eyes.

"Go on, Mikan."

"Stop calling me that," I snapped. And then, "I'm sorry."

Mr. Narumi scribbled on his notepad. "It's your name. Why don't you want me to say your name?"

"Because all I can hear is Rei's voice before my head got shoved underwater."

The analytical look vanished, replaced by a sort of fatherly concern. "Please, go on."

When I got to the part about the water basin, I was surprised to find that my voice stopped working. My chest got tight, and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. Recognizing the panic attack, I leaned down to put my head between my knees. The couch caved as Natsume came back to sit, and he surprised me by putting his hand gently on my back. The calm he always exuded seeped into me.

Natsume explained for me. Daichi must have given him the details.

The panic attack passed, and I took over to talk about the hallucinations. Mr. Narumi was intrigued, and even Natsume seemed interested in this bit. But it reminded me of that something that fake-Natsume had said, and I felt anxiety creeping back into me.

"Theoretically, once I determined that it was an illusion, I should have been okay. But I ran from it. When Koko did the same thing, they were able to touch me. And they shouldn't have been able to touch me. I was scared that the hallucination would shoot me and that it would actually touch me. And I also knew that if Rei saw that they could touch me, he'd be interested."

Which brought me to the next part. I wasn't quite able to describe the feeling when I'd scooped up Youichi, and I found that I wasn't able to talk about it at all.

"Rei said it shouldn't have happened that fast," I whispered. "Half a second more and I probably would have been dead."

"And then you were able to escape?"

"Yeah. Guess I should thank Luna, right? Rei has an immunity alice too, though. He chased me. I kicked him in the face."

Mr. Narumi made some more scribbles, and then closed the notebook, looking between me and Natsume. "I think you two have some talking to do. The tension in the room is…noticeable. I'll keep you updated, alright? I do advise you stay home from school for the next week or so, but I'd like to see you in my office twice a week, if you're up to it. Hotaru has scheduled you in." He stopped at the door, turning halfway around. "And Mikan? Your name doesn't belong to anyone but you."

I smiled, hoping that when the door closed, the tension would alleviate. But it only got heavier.

"Did you know him? When you were in the Organization?"

Natsume turned to me, his eyes dark. "Yes."

My stomach sank to my toes. "I'm sorry, Natsume. I should have told you about Youichi. We should have tried to get him out. But he's Rei's son. I didn't think-"

"My mission was to get you out," he interrupted. "That's all. Is there something else you have to say to me?"

I caught my lip between my teeth and stared at the ground, anxiety bringing the boot back to my chest. I knew I had to ask, because not knowing would drive me crazy, but I was scared to hear the answer. "The hallucination of you…said something," I said.

No response.

"Something that I don't want to believe is true. But you said that they had you, that that's where you were when you were gone for a bit before I got here."

No response. He just continued to look at me. Waiting.

I drew in a slow breath, resisting the urge to close my eyes so I didn't have to see his expression. "Did you blow up my house?"

Perhaps it was something I should have suspected long before, when I first found out what his alice was. And maybe I had suspected it, but, like now, had been too scared that I would be right.

He tilted his head towards me. "I set it on fire," he admitted, which felt like a knife twisting in my chest.

"Why?"

"Because they told me to."

I wanted to be reasonable. I wanted to understand, and to not be angry at him for ripping the carpet out from under my feet, for being the catalyst that had gotten me into this position. Because I remembered Baldy, and the look on Natsume's face as Baldy told him what to do.

But I was Mikan, and my life was run by my emotions. And I was _angry._ Not just because his hand was responsible for my father's death, despite the fact that he was merely a puppet. But because he had watched me fall apart all these months, and he hadn't told me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I wanted to know.

"Because your father wanted me to protect you, and to do that, I needed you to trust me."

"Why did they want to kill him? What did he find?"

"Evidence of every dirty job the Organization ever did when they were a functional part of the government. He's the one that found out it existed. They use it to blackmail people in power. It's why they haven't been destroyed; if Rei is killed, the evidence will be released. Izumi got too close to finding out where it was kept. They sensed he was undercover, did some digging, and they were right. So they got rid of him before he could find it."

I nodded slowly. The rage churned in my stomach. "How did you get away from them?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. The explosion knocked me out. That's the only way for Kyo's alice to lose its effect. That, or just giving the order time to wear off. When I came to, I left." His eyes were sincere when they met mine. "I'm sorry that I caused all of this."

I forced air through my lungs, dropping my gaze to the floor. My body had gone numb. "I think I need some time alone," I whispered. "To process. I haven't even come to terms with the fact that my dad is dead, let alone that the person who killed him sits next to me in Biology."

He studied me carefully, and then it seemed to become too much for him to bear. He nodded at me once and strode from the room. The sound of the door closing behind him reverberated through my body.

* * *

Sumire and Anna noticed my withdrawal from Natsume, but because I knew, deep down, that it wasn't Natsume's fault, I didn't tell them why. Maybe we were even. I hadn't told him about Youichi and he hadn't told me about my dad. He never said it, but I knew that he felt strongly about the fact that I hadn't mentioned Youichi, hadn't given him the chance to save him, too. Or instead. While I was sure Sumire was relieved by our lack of interaction, I figured they'd chalk it up to PTSD.

The time apart also gave me too much time to think about everything. What had the order Baldy had given Natsume been? Had it been just to burn down my house? Blow it up? How much of the action was Baldy, and how much was Natsume? Was I supposed to be in the house, too? Was Natsume supposed to kill me, too? Sometimes, when everything got too heavy, when the dark came creeping in, I wished he had.

I didn't leave the room much over the next couple of days, except to get food. Even then, I went to the dining hall after classes were already in session, when I was least likely to run into anyone. There was still the occasional student, but I did my best to ignore their stares.

Eating wasn't easy. I thought it would be, after having been starved for several days, but it wasn't. I had effectively been set back to where I had been after my dad died, a shell of a person.

Being unconscious for six days, and being captive for what I learned had been three days before that, had helped me miss the brunt of the caffeine withdrawal, and Anna wouldn't let me get back on it, despite the fact that I could sleep even less than before. I also learned that I had missed the off-campus trip that we were supposed to go on, and because of the situation, my friends had elected to miss it, too. I felt bad about that, and also sad about the fact that I was pretty sure they wouldn't be letting me off campus now. Not that I wanted to. I was too scared.

I didn't see much of Natsume, which was for the better. I was too scared to see the look on his face when he saw me, the look that accused me of being selfish enough to leave a child in the hands of the people who had tortured him. And I struggled, everyday, with my anger towards him for the role he played in my father's death. That angry voice in my head was always louder than the one saying that he hadn't been in control.

Sumire and Anna brought me my homework, and helped me through it so I wouldn't fall too far behind. When it came to math, though, both of them were useless, and so they sought out Tsubasa to come by. His genuine concern when he saw me was enough for me to immediately write him off as the person who had let the Organization in. He helped me with math and didn't ask any questions about what happened, but I didn't miss the way he looked at me like he wanted to.

Mrs. Yamada never requested to see me, which I found a bit odd. Mr. Narumi made more than one visit, however, to see how I was doing, because I refused to some to his office, and after 5 days of being a hermit, he decided I needed to get back to class.

"But-" I protested.

"No buts," he said as he opened the front door to leave, briefcase in hand. "You need to re-establish a routine."

That was easy for him to say. I felt like I had already re-established a routine of not sleeping, drinking coffee, and feeling sorry for myself. Minus the coffee, courtesy of Anna.

The nightmares, at least, were different now. They were still scary, perhaps scarier because they felt real, but they didn't contain images of scary monsters anymore. Unless Rei counted.

Anna and Sumire tried to get me to engage. They'd invite me to go hang out with the guys for a movie, or hang out with the girls down the hall, but I resisted. I could see they were worried, but I was stuck in a rut.

I thought about Youichi constantly, tearing myself up over it, wishing the world would just swallow me up until the overwhelming emotions that plagued me everyday vanished.

And then Monday came, and I had to be a human again, according to Mr. Narumi.

"I'm not feeling well," I tried that morning when Anna came to get me out of bed. "I'll go to school tomorrow."

She threw the blankets off of me. "No, you're going today. Get up and shower, you'll feel better."

Any shred of confidence I'd had about attending school that day withered with each step I took. Outside of the dorm, I felt vulnerable. Any person we passed as we walked could have been the reason the Organization got to me in the first place.

Anna was chatting with Sumire as if nothing had happened—her healing alice apparently helped her to deal more effectively with emotional trauma, but wasn't something she could pass on to me—while I walked silently next to them with my hands sweating and my knees shaking. As if going to class wasn't a big enough step, but I also knew who I was going to be sitting next to in biology.

Every time I thought of Natsume, I would try to smother the automatic spurt of anger. I _knew_ that it wasn't his fault. But a small part of me couldn't help but wonder if he could have resisted compulsion. Not to mention the fact that he'd sat beside me in biology, watched as I battled my way through each day, and hadn't _told_ me.

No one paid us much attention to us as we headed for the buffet line. I was hoping Sumire wouldn't lead us to the regular group, but maybe she thought normalcy would be beneficial, because she sat down next to Koko, across from Wakako and Luna. Natsume, at least, wasn't present.

For a while, nobody spoke to me. And when Wakako finally piped up, it wasn't an attack like I expected.

"No coffee?" she said, eyeing my cup of apple juice.

I forced a tired smile. "Figured now was as good of time as any to fight my addiction." Reluctantly, I looked at Luna, although she was looking down at her yogurt as she played with it but didn't eat it. "Thank you."

She glanced up, surprised, and then nodded once before her eyes dropped back to her yogurt. I hadn't heard the details of what had transpired between her and Natsume, but it was clearly bringing her down. A small part of me felt sorry for her. Very small.

My anxiety spiked when Sumire and Anna got up to head to class. My seat next to Natsume was waiting for me, and I couldn't very well request to sit somewhere else without alerting everyone in the classroom to the fact that something was up between us.

In an effort not to think about it, I asked, "Do you think it's weird that Mrs. Yamada hasn't asked to see me?"

Anna shook her head. "She wanted to give you time. She sent Mr. Narumi because he's qualified to deal with these things. She probably feels a bit responsible, too."

"Why would she feel responsible?"

"Her elaborate security system failed you."

While I did wonder how Tatsuya and Kyo had passed the barrier specifically, I did assume it had something to do with whoever had tipped them off, and chose not to disclose that information with them. No need to make them worry any more than they already were.

"Is Natsume on an assignment?" I asked.

Sumire cast me a puzzled look. "No. He's still recovering."

"Right. I knew that."

"Did something happen between you two?" Anna demanded. "You've both been acting kind of strange."

"He's acting strange? I'm not acting strange."

She frowned. "He saved your life and you won't even look at him. You're acting strange."

"You think he's acting strange?" Sumire pondered.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Yes, you just don't realize it because you've got stars in your eyes. You know you can talk to us, right, Mikan?"

"It's not him," I insisted. And it wasn't. "It's just me. I'm sure we'll figure it out." When they just continued to stare at me, I caved. "Something happened and I think Natsume is mad at me for it. And also something happened and I think I'm mad at Natsume for it. Even though I know it's not his fault." Which was why I didn't want to tell them why I was upset. Natsume didn't deserve to have his name dragged through the mud, no matter how angry I was.

Anna snorted. "He's not mad at you, Mikan. I don't know what's going on between you two, but when Natsume is mad, the whole school can tell. He's not mad." She didn't ask about why I was mad at him, and I was grateful for it.

I didn't believe her about him not being mad about Youichi, but in an effort to dispel her concerns, when we walked into Bio, I marched confidently to my desk next to where Natsume already sat and took my seat, ignoring the turmoil in my stomach.

"Hi," I said without glancing at him. My tongue felt like lead.

He didn't respond. Anna had to be mistaken.

After Bio, I jumped out of my seat and walked alone to math.

Mr. Meany asked to speak to me after class, and even looking at him, remembering the conversation before I'd gone back to my room, brought with it a wave of anxiety.

"You've been given some slack because of what you've been through," he said in his stony, authoritative voice. "You are expected to pick up that slack over the course of the semester. You will not fall behind."

I nodded once and ducked out of the classroom, skipping the trip to the dining hall, deciding that that was enough for one day.

* * *

The next couple weeks went similarly. If I'd had PTSD before, from the fire, then I had been seriously missing out. With the symptoms magnified because of the recent trauma, I was hyperaware of it.

The bell indicating the end of a class sent panic coursing through me, too similar to the sound of the alarms that had indicated a breach in the wall. Small spaces scared me, and I'd had to start sleeping with my bedroom door cracked. Sometimes, when I'd wake up from a nightmare feeling like I couldn't breathe, I'd crawl into bed with Anna or Sumire. They didn't seem to mind. Mr. Narumi had Nonoko make up anti-anxiety medication for me—that was her alice—but the bottle sat on my desk day after day, unopened. Taking the medication felt like losing.

I continued to sit next to Natsume in class, and we continued to barely speak to each other. I wanted to, but every time I looked at him and opened my mouth, all I could see was him lighting up my house, and I was pretty sure all he could see was the face of a girl who left a child behind.

I met Mr. Narumi for our session a couple times a week. He noticed that I was not only withdrawing from my roommates, but that something had happened between me and Natsume.

Tears burned my eyes. I hadn't talked about it with anyone, instead opting to spend the last several weeks internalizing it. "He killed my dad. The Organization used compulsion on him."

Mr. Narumi's face softened. "Mikan, if the Organization used compulsion, then you can't blame Natsume. He wouldn't have been able to resist."

"I know, but-" My voice broke. "Did you know? Did you know that he did it?"

Very slowly, he nodded. "Only I know. And I only know because Natsume came to talk to me about it. It's hard for him, too, Mikan. I've told him he wasn't responsible, but he can't help but blame himself."

My heart ached, because I didn't want Natsume to blame himself, even if I blamed him. Logically, I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. But I just couldn't help it. Maybe it was something that was amplified by all the emotional turmoil I was already in.

"What else is going on?" Mr. Narumi pressed.

"He won't look at me either," I admitted, feeling the crushing weight of guilt. "He blames me because I didn't tell him about Youichi."

Mr. Narumi looked surprised, and then he smiled sadly. "He's not blaming you, Mikan. He's blaming himself for that, too. You placing the blame on Natsume for your dad's death is only weighing him down. And why would he want to look at you when he knows how you're feeling about him?"

"He hasn't tried to talk to me-"

"Have you tried talking to him?"

My shoulders fell. "No. Not really." When I was constantly torn between feeling guilty about not telling him about Youichi and mad for him not telling me about my dad, there wasn't much room for conversation.

"Everyone has different ways of coping. Natsume's always been withdrawn. And think of it from his perspective. He was supposed to protect you. The state you were in when he found you…that would be difficult for anyone to deal with, let alone someone who thinks he should have prevented you from getting there in the first place. Add on top of that the fact that you're angry with him for being the tool the Organization used to kill your father, and you have a dangerous mix.

"None of this is your fault, Mikan. But Natsume can't be expected to shoulder all the blame and come out on the other side feeling fine and dandy. Even Natsume isn't that strong. I think you two need to sit down and have a chat."

The sentiment made my heart stutter.

"Have you been taking the medication I gave you?"

"Yes," I lied. When he stared intently at me, I relented. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because it feels like losing."

"You shouldn't be afraid to seek help, Mikan. Everyone needs support now and again. You aren't admitting defeat by taking care of yourself. You have a support system available to you; I suggest you use it." Before I left his office, he called me back. "Try talking to Natsume, Mikan. He needs support, too."

That night, back at the dorm, I sat down with Sumire and Anna on the couch.

"Why have you guys been so nice to me?"

They both looked at me, surprised, but it was Anna who spoke. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "Since I got here. You both just took me in. No questions asked. And you've been amazing friends to me."

Anna's smile was sympathetic. "Because what you are going through is horrible and tragic and unfair. And you deserve more than that; anybody can see it. And you might feel broken, and angry, and cheated, and like you're never going to be okay again, but so help me God, you will not feel alone. And I know we might still be strangers to you, but-"

"You're not strangers," I cut her off. "You're the closest thing I have to family."

I took the medication that night, and then I left the room. I had been about to chicken out, and change my course and go get a snack instead, when I heard shouting on the other side of the door.

"Quit beating yourself up over this, man," Ruka was shouting.

"He was _right_ there." Natsume's voice this time, distressed. I wondered if he was drunk, and wished that my heart didn't ache at the tone of his voice. I was responsible for his distress is so many more ways than one.

"You couldn't get them both," Ruka insisted. "He was safe; she wasn't."

"If I'd stayed-"

"Then you'd be dead, and maybe she'd be dead, and no one would win except them."

I stared at the door, feeling like they were talking about me and Youichi. Knowing that Natsume wondered if he'd made a mistake by rescuing me didn't hurt as much as I expected it to. After all, I wondered the same thing.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

I knew Ruka was right. Youichi had been safer than she would have been, especially given the nature of her alice. They didn't need to kill Youichi, but they might have killed her. Still, the realization that he had been just one floor down, within reach, haunted me.

I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, my back against my bedframe, knees pulled up for my elbows to rest on them, a short glass held in my hands.

She was stronger than I was. The first time I'd seen her at the nightclub, I had wondered what the hell kind of idiot ordered a drink just to stare at it. And then she did the same thing the next time, and the time after that. Always making lighthearted conversation with the bartender but never touching the drink. He had pitied her, and she hadn't wanted it.

I did what she had been too strong to do; I drank to numb the pain, the guilt, and the helplessness. It was the only method I'd found that made it easier to live with myself. That, and fucking Luna whenever I got the chance, although that method of release hadn't appealed to me lately. Not when there was…something else distracting me.

My time in the Organization had been damaging. Rei had used my alice to its fullest extent, using me to conduct assassinations and then destroy the evidence. Her father had been undercover at the time, and had confided in me that he knew a way to get both Youichi and I out. That was just days before I was ordered to burn his house down.

Kyo had made a severe error with that order. He didn't specifically tell me to kill Izumi, and he didn't tell me not to warn Izumi. But it hadn't mattered in the end. His daughter wasn't supposed to be there, and she had been.

I knew that she battled herself when she looked at me, trying to decide if she should be angry with me or not. I didn't engage in conversation with her, because I wanted her to be angry with me. She should be. She needed to be. Watching her fall apart when she was recounting her experience to Narumi, watching her pull herself out of a panic attack on her own…she was still a kid, and she was fucking struggling everyday. And I had put her there. Maybe Kyo had given the order, but I'd carried out the deed.

I didn't blame her for not telling me about Youichi. She thought he was Rei's son, so she thought that he wasn't being held against his will. That wasn't her fault. None of it would ever be her fault.

There were things I needed to tell her. Things about her alice that would help her. But I knew it would also destroy her. She'd told me once that she didn't think she could carry the weight of having an alice; this would crush her. She was strong, but she was by no means indestructible.

Her value was as obvious to me as I knew it was to Rei. He would have connected the dots. He would know that there was something different about her. Something powerful. Something useful. Something that would fit his agenda.

She needed to know. But as idiotic as she could be, she wasn't stupid. If I told her, she'd put the pieces together. If she put the pieces together, I wasn't sure she'd be okay. I had already failed to protect her once. I'd be damned if I did it again.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened a crack. I assumed it was Ruka coming to apologize, and I didn't want to deal with him. He didn't like it when I drank. He thought I was better than that. That was a fucking joke.

Instead, someone crouched down in front of me. She smelled like spring, and her hands were soft when they took the glass from my hands and set it down on the floor. I looked up at her. She was smiling hesitantly. Waiting for me to brush her off again. I didn't see her smile, though. I saw her standing with a look of defeat on her face, soaked to the bone, barely clothed, and covered in dirt, blood, and bruises.

I looked away, but not before I saw her eyes begin to water.

"Natsume. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what you've been through, I'm sorry that I blamed you for my dad." Frustration coloured her tone. "I _know_ it's not your fault. I've just been having a hard time coming to terms with it all." A pause. "And I'm sorry about Youichi. I will do everything I can to help you get him back. I don't care if I have to face Rei myself. I-"

"Shut up."

* * *

 **MIKAN**

I frowned. "Really? You're going to tell me to shut up?" I stood up and propped my hands on my hips. "Natsume, I'm trying to communicate to you that I know I'm a shitty friend because I should _be here_ for you but instead I've been busy feeling sorry for myself. I'm sorry. I wish you could feel how much I mean it. Kyo's a big ol' piece of shit and he's the one that killed my dad, not you. You're a victim as much as I am." I exhaled slowly. The boot eased off my chest a little. "And I know that I messed up. I should have told you about Youichi. I should have told you to save him instead of me."

He stood up quickly, forcing me a step back. There was liquor on his breath, and more emotion on his face than I had ever seen before. He was hurting, and my head had been too far up my ass to see it. "You think I've been blaming you?"

Letting it slide that he hadn't acknowledged my apology, I snapped, "You can't even look at me, Natsume. What else could it be?"

He closed his eyes and breathed out through his teeth, frustrated. When he opened them again, some of the emotion had subsided. "Do you know what you looked like when I found you?"

I didn't. But I knew what I felt like. "Dirty?"

He didn't appreciate my attempt at humour. "Half-naked, dirty, bloody, soaking wet, practically purple from the cold, and scared," he answered for me. "I was supposed to protect you-"

I slapped my hand over his mouth, fuming. His skin was hot on mine, in the supernatural kind of way, but I didn't pull away. I could tell I'd surprised him, but he let me talk. "You weren't even here, Natsume. How is that your fault? The school sends you on those assignments. If anyone's to blame, it's them for having a stupid system. You saved me, that's all that matters."

He pried my hand off his mouth. "Not before they tortured you."

I dropped my gaze to my feet for a moment, controlling my own emotions before looking back up at him. "What happened was nothing short of shitty. But it's not your fault. My dad's death wasn't your fault. Nothing that has happened to me is your fault. I'm sorry for acting like it was."

His eyes searched my face, but when he didn't say anything, I clapped my hands together, heaving a sigh that rolled some of the weight off my shoulders, and smiled at him. "So we can either keep ignoring each other and playing the blame game, or we can help each other. Because I do need your help. Mr. Narumi says I have a lot of healing to do, and I need you to help. And I know you need some help, too. You don't have to admit it, though. When you come up with a plan to get Youichi, I'll help you in any way that I can."

"Youichi wasn't your fault."

I fought the onslaught of tears that rushed to my eyes. "That one was my fault. But I do want to make up for it. I'll help you."

"You're never coming in contact with the Organization again," he said, so fiercely that I couldn't help but believe him.

I reached up and grabbed his face between my hands, squishing his cheeks. "So serious all the time." I bent down and grabbed his glass from the floor. "You don't need this. Trust me. If me, the big baby, can do without, so can you." I tossed the glass back, cringing at the taste on my tongue.

"You say as you drink it," he said dryly.

"If I drink it, then you can't."

"I have a whole bottle," he pointed out.

I looked around the room. "Are you telling me we could get drunk right now?"

"I thought you said you didn't need it."

"We've been over this. Drinking to help with the grief is different than getting drunk and having a good time." Realizing how bad that sounded, I glared at him before he could comment. "That's not what I meant."

His lips turned up, and it was the most refreshing smirk I'd ever seen. My chest swelled with...relief? Joy?. "Bottle's over there."

I knew he was joking, but I actually considered it for half a second. The part of me that wanted to know what happened if we got drunk and forgot about all of our baggage for a minute. I knew I was already feeling a bit liberated after talking to him. The rational part of me, though, remained loudest. "I don't trust myself alone with you with alcohol in the mix." I meant it as a joke, but there was probably some truth to it. A lot of truth to it.

"Suit yourself."

I took a step backwards, heading for the door, but not ready to take my eyes off of him just yet. The distress I'd heard in his voice when he'd been arguing with Ruka was reason enough to worry. "I know I can tell you not to blame yourself all I want, and you still will, especially when I wasn't helping things. Just know that I _don't_ blame you. I really, truly don't. And I'm here for you. Just don't shut me out." I turned to go, but he stopped me as I reached the door.

"Legs," he said, in his deep baritone voice that made my hair stand on end. I had to take a deep, steadying breath to calm my hormones before I faced him. When I turned back around, he was reaching into one of the drawers of his nightstand and pulling out a large, purple bag.

My eyes lit up as I rushed back over to him, grabbing the bag from his hands. "You got me Mini Eggs? When?"

"Last assignment." Which meant the one when I was kidnapped. It must have been before he'd found out.

I looked up at him, unable to control my grin, and then lunged at him, wrapping my arms around his strong body. "Thanks, Natsume. I'd offer to share with you, but to be honest, I just don't want to. I'm eating this entire bag myself." I detached myself from him enough to smile up at him. "I've missed you. Sorry for being an asshole." Before I could stop myself, I stood up on my tiptoes and planted a kiss on his warm cheek. Electricity shot to my toes, and I turned and ran for the door. "I'll see you in class, okay?"

No sooner had I stepped out of the bedroom was I blinded by a flash of light. I uttered a startled, "Gah!" and shielded my face until the light was gone.

"This is a great shot," I heard Hotaru say.

"Hotaru," Ruka moaned in exasperation. "Is now really the time for that?"

I scowled at Hotaru. "Did you really just take a picture of me leaving Natsume's bedroom?"

"I did," she admitted mildly.

"Delete it," I ordered. "It looks suggestive."

She eyed me. "Is it suggestive?"

I rolled my eyes. "No. We were just talking."

"Hm," she muttered, unconvinced. Ruka mouthed an apology over her head, but I just waved him off.

"Don't do anything with it, okay? I think we can agree that I've been through enough. I don't think I need every girl in this school at my throat."

I did as I had said I would that night. I sat in my bed and ate the entire bag of Mini Eggs. I felt like a big bag of garbage afterwards, but damn, it was worth it.

* * *

A/N: Enjoy this long chapter! All you readers who are looking forward to some Natsume/Mikan romance, sit tight because the next three chapters will help to satisfy your little hearts, I hope!


	12. Safe and Sound

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _When all those shadows  
_ _Almost killed your light_

-Safe and Sound  
Taylor Swift

I dreamed of Natsume that night, and it wasn't a bad dream. I woke up in the morning feeling suspicious. It had been so long since I'd had a nice dream. And it had been a nice dream. Really nice, if you were into Natsume. Which was starting to worry me.

I had trouble making eye contact with Sumire the next morning because of that dream. She'd flipped out at me for thinking about kissing him, which I wasn't admitting to doing. I couldn't imagine her reaction if she knew what I was thinking about now.

"Where'd you go last night?" Anna asked when she got up.

"To talk to Natsume. I think we're good now."

While Sumire tried to look relieved to hear that, I could tell that she wasn't. I wanted to reassure her that I wasn't into him, but I wasn't sure if that was the truth anymore or not. Hormones were getting me all riled up. The whole knight in shining armour thing certainly hadn't helped at all.

"You seem better this morning," Anna commented.

"I took the medication Nonoko made." And I did _feel_ better. About everything.

"Nonoko is good at what she does. I'm glad it's helping."

I didn't run into Natsume until I walked into class that morning. I walked in purposefully, but as soon as I locked gazes with Natsume, a blush threatened to crawl up my neck as I remembered the dream and I averted my eyes.

"What's your problem?" he drawled when I sat down next to him. "I thought we were done avoiding each other."

I swallowed thickly and turned to smile at him. The smile faltered when I found him looking back at me with those disarming eyes—his number one weapon against all the girls he had seduced, I was sure. Or maybe I was just imagining the smouldering because of the stupid dream.

"I have no problem," I replied eventually, but he was smirking. I couldn't help but feel like he _knew_. "Are you feeling better today?"

"I'm feeling fine." A pause. "Are you?"

"I'm happy to have you back."

"Because you're in love with me."

My gaze snapped to him, eyes narrowed. "Where the hell would you get that idea? I am the least likely person in the world to fall in love with you. I'm refreshing, remember?"

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not blushing."

"Looks like you are."

"I have a…uh…condition? Rosacea."

"Haven't noticed it before."

"Must mean you weren't paying attention. And now suddenly you are. Which must mean _you're_ in love with me." I couldn't fight the smile that tugged on my lips. "I'm really happy to have you back, Natsume."

He didn't look at me, but the corner of his mouth was turned up.

I felt on edge and tense for the rest of class, trying to keep my mind on the lesson instead of letting it wander to warm hands on my skin. He seemed to notice me fidgeting, but he didn't comment. As uncomfortable as the dream had made me, it was a welcome distraction from everything else that was wrong with my life.

But it was making me think bad, bold things. Alarmed, I glanced at Wakako, but she didn't seem to be tuned into my thoughts. Thank God. That could have been catastrophic. The unpredictability of my alice made it difficult for her to read my mind, but she could still get pieces every now and again.

"Thanks for the Mini Eggs," I said at the end of class. "I ate them all."

"Glutton," he said.

"You're the enabler."

Sumire approached me after class, after Natsume had already left the classroom. "You guys are all good now, hey?"

"Seem to be," I responded as lightly as I could. "I need his support, Sumire."

Her smile was small. "I know. You guys have been through a lot together. See you at lunch."

Natsume was waiting in the hallway for me, which I hadn't expected. I ran to meet him, falling into step beside him.

Kids were bullies. That was the gist of it. In this case, they were very stupid bullies. I didn't think anyone would have the audacity to try something when Natsume was beside me, and I wondered why he hadn't thought to try it over the past few weeks when Natsume and I hadn't been talking, but I guess the kid didn't think Natsume would actually do anything.

A tidal wave of water crashed down on me. From the ceiling? At first I thought a pipe had burst, and then all I was thinking of was being back in that room as my head was shoved into a basin of water. Natsume's warm hand grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me out of the waterfall and into his body.

Someone was yelling, "I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to!"

"Like hell you didn't," Natsume growled. I smelled smoke, heard someone furiously patting their clothing. I felt a surge or rage for being made a fool of, for someone mocking what I'd been through, and Natsume was forced to abruptly release my arm when my skin started to singe.

"Dammit, Legs," he grunted.

"I'm fine," I responded shakily. No one was staring, having been sent scattering by Natsume's furious glare, no doubt. Water had pooled around our feet, and when I looked down at myself, I saw that I was soaked to the bone. And my shirt was see-through.

Suddenly worried about Natsume's reaction to seeing me in a similar state to what I'd been when he found me, I blurted, "Don't freak out."

He cussed again and started down the hall. Assuming that meant I was to follow him, I hurried after. He walked straight into a co-ed washroom; I hesitated only a moment before following him.

"Fucking dipshit," he muttered as he locked the door behind us.

"Did you set him on fire?"

His eyes darted to the burn mark on my arm, but I turned my body so he couldn't see it. "Yes."

"Nice." Noticing he was still staring at me, I forced a laugh. "I'm fine. Took Nonoko's medication today. It seems to work wonders."

He motioned to the hand dryer. "Dry off a bit before you go change."

"You don't have to be scared to look at me, Natsume. I'm waterlogged, but that's about it." I peeled off my sweater, throwing it into the sink—it would take too long to dry.

"You need to see Narumi about controlling your alice," he scolded me. "You've been putting it off."

I glanced down at my arm. I couldn't fight the disappointment that made my stomach sink at realizing that every time my emotions flared up, my alice seemed to cause problems. That made whatever had happened in my dream impossible to ever come to fruition.

Not that I wanted it to. I had to keep telling myself that. But here I was, alone in a washroom with Natsume and it was all I could think about. I wondered what he was thinking about. I couldn't really tell from looking at him. He was definitely looking at me now, but he seemed conflicted.

"I'm sorry my alice sucks and makes you burn me and then makes you feel bad about it," I said to dispel the silence.

His eyes dropped, taking in my see-through shirt and maybe the way it clung to my skin. When he looked back up to me, his expression mirrored how I felt: hungry. And not for food.

My breath caught in my throat. He stepped toward me. One hand met my waist while the other wrapped around the back of my neck, where my skin was protected by my drenched hair, and he gently pushed me back until my back hit the wall. His mouth was inches from mine, and I was feeling supercharged. And bold. I was feeling really bold.

I struggled to contain my blush while trying to maintain eye contact. His eyes were so dark, and they were boring into me like he could see right through me. His breath fanned over my face, and I think I started to sweat. Which was so not sexy.

All I would have to do is tilt my chin up and lean forward a little bit and our lips would meet. It seemed so easy in theory, but my body was encased in cement.

But he recovered himself. His hands left my body—just as I was beginning to feel the heat of his alice—and he looked one more time at my see-through shirt before heading for the door. "Meet with Narumi in your free block."

Before I could stop him, he was gone. I locked the door behind him with shaking hands, sighed at my bedraggled appearance in the mirror, and got to work drying my clothes.

Goddamn sexual tension.

The pessimist in me insisted that it had been a lapse in judgement on Natsume's part. That would explain his sudden recovery and departure. But the optimist in me knew that the look he had given me was not the product of bad judgement. He had wanted something just as much as I had—he just had better self control.

I met with Mr. Narumi in my fourth block. He seemed surprised that I'd dropped by, but already knew that he was expected to help me map out my alice.

"I heard there was an incident in the halls this morning," he commented when I sat.

I picked up a handful of my hair, still damp. "Yep."

"How are you handling it?"

I considered it for a moment, then nodded. "Good, I think. I only felt like I was back in the Organization for a second. Then-" I stopped myself.

"Then…?" Mr. Narumi pressed.

"Natsume pulled me out of it. The water, I mean."

His eyes landed on the pinkish skin on my arm. "I'm glad to hear that you and Natsume have apparently talked and made up. What were you feeling when he grabbed you, Mikan?"

"Angry? At the kid who made the waterfall."

Narumi made me take him through every incident in which someone else's alice hurt me. I had already drawn the conclusion that he'd come to; my alice was affected by my emotions.

"Seems kind of stupid, don't you think?" I pondered. "If I'm in a situation where I need my alice, I'm probably not going to be very calm."

"It's something you can train," Mr. Narumi said confidently. "Having your alice function the way it does right now is good, because it will help you isolate it so that you can bend it to your will. It's something we should start on relatively quickly, because I understand that it might affect your personal interactions as it stands right now." He was grinning, his eyes twinkling, and suddenly I was worried that he knew about the dream, too.

"Well, should we start?"

The smile faltered. "I'd like to wait until next week to begin. Because of what you've been through, your emotions are a little off kilter."

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"You need more time, Mikan." He stood. "Come back here on Monday and we'll get your alice under control. In the meantime, this might help give you an incentive to control your emotions." He smiled. "And to take that medication."

Since I'd skipped lunch to dry my clothes, Anna and Sumire were bursting with questions when I got back to the dorm.

"We heard Natsume set someone on fire," Sumire gushed.

"He did," I confirmed. "The little bastard deserves it."

"Are you okay?" Anna asked, brows furrowed.

The thought of being back in that room with my head being held underwater gave me pause for only a few seconds before I smiled. "I'm fine. No harm, no foul."

"Kid's a dick," Sumire snorted. "I'm going to be looking out for the kid with the singed eyebrows and he's going to be getting a piece of my mind. On another note, though, Mrs. Yamada wants to see you."

"She does?"

"Yeah, as soon as you're available."

"She hasn't made an effort to reach out to me since I've been back." I couldn't help the bitterness in my voice. After all that talk about her caring about my safety and well-being, the fact that she hadn't even checked in on me was infuriating.

Anna shrugged. "Guess she finally realized that avoidance isn't always the best strategy."

Because I was pissed about the fact that I was just hearing from her now, I didn't make my way to the office until well after dinner. I knew she'd still be there, since she never left, and making her wait gave me a little bit of joy.

I threw on a jacket and some boots and tried to wrap a scarf around my face, only to find that the fabric over my mouth and nose made me think too much of drowning. I discarded the scarf.

Snow had begun falling. That night, thick flakes floated down from the inky black sky, landing in my hair and clinging to my eyelashes. The silence that came with a winter night filled me with peace, the only sound coming from the snow crunching under my feet.

The girl at the desk smiled at me when I walked in, stamping the snow off my boots. "You can go right up."

Mrs. Yamada looked up when I walked into her office, offering me what I thought was a genuine smile before standing up and coming around her desk to hug me.

"I'm happy to see you're alright."

"Been alright for about two and a half weeks now," I muttered, sitting in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you here sooner. I wanted Mr. Narumi to assess you and help you in any way that he could before I made you sit in front of me and answer questions."

I resisted the urge to frown at her lack of concern. "Questions about what?"

"What happened to you, of course."

"I already told Mr. Narumi what happened to me. I don't really want to talk about it again."

She nodded, apparently in understanding. But she pressed on anyway. "You mentioned that there was a young boy being held there."

I looked down at my hands, folded in my lap. My heart jumped into my throat. "Youichi. Yes. But I'm not sure he was being 'held' there."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm pretty sure Rei is his dad."

"What makes you say that?"

Irritated, I bit out, "He called him 'son' and they also look kind of alike. Rei had him use his alice on me. And Youichi looked happy about it."

Mrs. Yamada's face fell. "Youichi's alice allows him to steal the energy from any living thing he touches skin-to-skin. He has no control over it. Did he walk over to you and touch you?"

"No. He was lying on the ground and there was water and he wasn't moving so I picked him up."

She nodded, although her expression communicated pain. "The feeling he gets when he touches another living being is like a high. He might not have even been conscious. They could have starved him beforehand, or kept him awake for hours, so that he had no energy."

I breathed out slowly, the guilt I'd been carrying around about leaving him behind amplifying tenfold. Convincing myself that Youichi wasn't being held against his will was the only thing that had been keeping the guilt from crushing me.

"We do believe he's being held there against his will and being raised as a weapon by his father. We want to take action to get him out, but we need your help to do that. We need to know every detail—no matter how small—of what happened."

"Okay," I whispered.

Before she could begin, there was a knock on the open door. I turned in my seat to see Reo standing there. My eyes zeroed in on that gaudy cross around his neck. Seriously, why did it need to be so big? He nodded once at me and then looked at Mrs. Yamada. "Can I speak to you in my office a moment?"

Mrs. Yamada glanced at me, then nodded and stood. "Sit tight, Mikan."

After she'd walked out of the room, I found that I could not sit tight. I kept replaying everything that happened at the Organization and wondering if Natsume and I could have gotten Youichi out, too.

Of course we could have. It wouldn't have been easy, but it probably would have been possible. He hadn't been far. But I'd been too selfish to let Natsume know just how attainable it had been. After Natsume and I had talked last night, I had hoped I was relatively past feeling like this.

Restless, I stood and paced the room.

Reo's office was at the other end of the conference room, and he'd shut the door when he'd gone inside, leaving me completely alone in Mrs. Yamada's office. I don't know why I felt the need to snoop, but I couldn't help it when I went behind her desk.

I sat down in her chair and absently pulled one of the desk drawers open, trying to distract myself from thoughts of Youichi but accomplishing the opposite when my eyes landed on a picture frame turned upside down on top of her desk.

Frowning, I closed the drawer and reached forward to pick it up. One smiling Mrs. Yamada, one smirking, albeit much younger, Natsume, and one smiling toddler, Youich, stared back at me from the other side of the glass.

A lot of things made sense in that moment. Mrs. Yamada's motherly concern for Natsume. Natsume's desperation to get Youichi out of the Organization. And the fact that Mrs. Yamada was only seeing me now, weeks after I'd been back. The floor fell out from underneath me, and it took me a moment to come to and realize I'd fainted and fallen out of the chair in the process.

The door across the room opened and hurried footsteps approached. I stumbled to my feet and for the door, but Mrs. Yamada blocked my exit.

"Mikan," she said sharply, seeing the picture frame on the floor. "What did you do?"

"What did _I_ do?" I shrieked, wondering why there were two of her. "What did _you_ do?"

She grabbed my arm. "Let me explain."

I waited, my body coiled with fury. "Well, _explain_."

Her expression faltered. "I just thought-"

"What?" I cut her off. "That they'd give you him if you gave them me? Did it blow up in your face?"

Her mouth moved, but she couldn't seem to form words. "That's not what I-"

I ripped free and sprinted for the stairs, ignoring her calling after me. My chest quaked as I ran, sobs tearing through my chest as panic took hold of me. My first instinct was to run to the dorm, to Natsume, but then a little voice at the back of my mind said, _Maybe he knew about this._

I ran for the wall. Tsubasa had said I was the only one that would be able to get over it, thanks to my alice. And all I knew in that second was that I didn't feel safe in this place.

The rushed footsteps behind me came faster than I expected. I had just reached the wall, and was in the midst of trying to jump up to reach the top—which was ridiculous because that would be impossible—when arms wrapped around my waist and jerked me back. I landed in the snow on my back, Natsume looming over me. He had my arms pinned, and his legs held my own legs down. My struggling was nothing to him.

"Calm down," he ordered.

Tears streamed down my face and into the snow. I tried to focus on his face, but looking at him was only making unimaginable guilt tear through my chest. "He's your _brother_?"

He held my stare, gauging my reaction when he nodded.

A piece of what was remaining of my composure chipped away. My chest quaked, my struggles renewed. I didn't know where I intended to go, but I just knew that I couldn't be there, not with him.

"Legs," he said evenly, tightening his hold on me. "Calm. Down."

I stopped, gasping for air but my lungs felt like they were made of stone. "And Mrs. Yamada? She's your mom?"

Another nod. Another piece of my composure.

"And Rei is your father?"

"Yes."

My breathing picked up. I couldn't make sense of the train wreck that was my thoughts.

"I'm going to let you up," he said gently. "Don't run." When I nodded, he eased off of me, helping me to my feet as he stood up.

I hunched over, hands braced on my knees, trying to draw in a full breath. "Did you know?" I gasped.

"Know what?"

"That your _mom_ let them get me! They knew where to go and for some reason the shield around the school didn't stop them. A desperate mother trying to get her youngest son back? What was I? The ticket in?"

A look passed over his face, like realization was setting in. Then he cursed and tried to brush past me.

I grabbed his hand. I should have known better, with my emotions being off the rails. He had been careful to only touch me where my coat covered me, but I wasn't thinking straight. When my skin touched his, pain ricocheted all the way from that contact point, through my body where that sharp pain in my chest returned, and out my other hand.

And suddenly the snow was on fire. Which didn't really make sense, but there I was, staring in shock as a physics-defying flame melted the snow.

"Jesus, Legs," Natsume muttered, stomping out the flames before they could grow, but I was already having an epiphany.

"You didn't know I was at my house until I mentioned it on my first day here," I said numbly, recalling the distant look on his face as I'd told him and Mrs. Yamada about the incident. "I wasn't supposed to be there."

"You had nothing to do with it," he said firmly.

"You said I'm hypersensitive to some alices. I'm hypersensitive to _yours_."

"Legs-"

"You said you didn't know what caused the explosion. But you do."

"I caused the explosion, not-"

"Your alice blew up my house and killed my dad because I was there."

He looked about to protest, but something in the expression on my face stopped him. And that was all I needed.

The boot came back down on my chest hard, forcing the air out of my lungs. The next breath came in quick and went out even faster. My legs failed me, and I hit the ground hard.

The feeling was difficult to describe. It was no longer just an ache in my heart, but a searing hot pain ripping through my entire body. I curled myself into a tight ball, hoping it would be enough to hold myself together, wishing the ground would swallow me up so that I didn't have to feel like this.

He was cautious when he touched my arm, but the layer of clothing protected me. He scooped me up, understanding that my legs were checked out for the night, and began walking back the way we had come.

"You knew," I whispered hoarsely. "You knew and you didn't tell me. You just let me think you killed him. You let me blame you."

"It didn't have to be your burden to bear."

I pinched my eyes shut, trying to pace my breathing with the steady rising and falling of his chest beneath my cheek. "No, no, no. This can't be happening. I killed my dad. I killed him."

"You were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Tell me what happened. Take me through it." I waited, and when he hesitated, I begged, " _Please_ , Natsume."

"Kyo made a mistake. His order wasn't specific enough. All he said was to set the house on fire and make sure Izumi was in it. He didn't swear me to secrecy, and he didn't tell me I couldn't warn him. I warned him, which is why he sent you away, but he didn't leave. He wanted me to help him fake his death so that he could infiltrate the Organization without suspicion. In return, he was going to get me out of the Organization's hold."

The sad look on my dad's face as he sent me out of the house flashed through my head. He hadn't known what was coming, all he knew was that he was going to make everyone think he was dead. Including me. I felt cheated.

"But I _was_ there," I whispered.

"I didn't know what caused the explosion until I found out what your alice could do."

"Why did you survive?"

"I'm not affected by heat or fire."

"You rescued me instead of your brother. Your _brother_." The crushing weight of guilt smashed into me from all directions. "You shouldn't have-" My voice broke. "It's tearing you up. And it's my fault. I should have-" Another sob. Another breath in too quickly. I struggled to unfold myself from his arms, falling flat on my ass in the snow in the process. "I need to go," I decided, scrambling to my feet. "I need to go somewhere-"

His hand was on my elbow before I'd made it half a step. "You're not going anywhere."

"Your mom…she…" The broken pieces of the puzzle were swirling around in my head, and I suddenly couldn't put them together anymore. "We can make a trade. Youichi for me."

"Don't be stupid."

"He said he was waiting for someone. It's you, isn't it? He's waiting for you?" I pulled on my arm, trying to break free of his grasp. His grip was too strong. I wanted to crumple. I wanted everything to just _stop_.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around to face him. When I tried to drop my gaze, he reached for my face with both hands, stopping short to move them to my neck, where my hair covered my skin.

"This isn't your fault," he said, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Nobody blames you. You are not going to hand yourself over and you aren't leaving the school grounds."

"But-"

"No one is going to hurt you again, Legs. I won't let them. Let me take you back to the dorm. You're freezing."

I hadn't noticed my whole body trembling, and I wasn't even sure it was from the cold. But I nodded, grateful for him gripping my arm in case my legs decided to give out again.

Ruka, Koko, Sumire, Anna, and Hotaru were all in Natsume's room when we got there. I must have looked like a deer in the headlights, because Anna shot to her feet quickly. Natsume shook his head at her, said something to Ruka that I didn't hear through my ringing ears, and then guided me down the hall to his bedroom while the rest of the crew left the dorm room.

He closed his door behind us before turning his eyes to me. I held his gaze, hoping that his calm would reach me. When it didn't, when I still couldn't pull in a full breath, I unzipped my jacket. "I can't breathe." He helped me pull it off, and then guided me over to his bed and forced me to lay down on my side. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so, so-"

"Ruka was right," he interrupted. "Youichi is safer there than you would have been. I don't regret getting you out of there." He stood up, but I grabbed his hand before he could turn.

"Don't leave."

"I'm just going to get you a drink." He pulled his hand free of mine, cast me one last concerned glance, and then left the room.

I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing, but behind my closed eyelids, all I saw was Youichi, or my dad being burned to a crisp because I'd been stupid and forgotten _socks_. The feeling of knowing my dad might still be with me if I'd remembered something as simple as socks shook me to my core.

Then the fact that my dad had been about to fake his death and let me believe it registered, and any progress I'd made with slowing my breathing was lost.

I sat up, dropping my head into my hands and trying to make sense of everything that had happened. I'd killed my dad; that was clear. I'd cost Natsume the opportunity to rescue his brother from his evil father; that was also clear. Mrs. Yamada, whom I'd thought I could trust, who my dad thought he could trust, had been willing to use me without my knowledge in order to gain entrance into the Organization. That part was still a little unclear.

Outside the bedroom, I could hear Natsume talking. Judging by the lack of response from another voice, I assumed he was either being ignored or was on the phone.

Gary's advice to focus on the one thing I could control floated back to me. I was proving to myself that I was not in fact capable of controlling my breathing, but what could I control?

Natsume was in the living room, holding a glass of water in one hand and talking on his cell phone with the other. He stopped speaking when he saw me, set the glass down, said, "We'll finish this discussion later," to whoever was on the phone, and then to me, "What are you doing?"

I stormed right past him and do the door. "I'm the only one in this school that can get across the wall. Tsubasa said so. I need to fix this."

"Right. Without a jacket. In the winter."

I looked down at myself, considered this, and then started back for his room to grab my things. He stopped me by the arm before I got very far.

"You're not going to fix anything by being stupid." When he saw that I was contemplating what he said, he picked up the glass of water and handed it to me.

My hand trembled, but I took a drink around my gasping breaths. "How did I end up in the middle of your family drama?"

He almost smiled. Almost. "Bad timing."

"You promise you didn't know what your mom was doing?"

"I didn't know. I wouldn't have let her pull that shit if I'd known." He took the glass away from me and set it down, and then motioned to the couch. "Sit."

I did as I was told, relieved when he sat on the cushion next to me instead of on the opposite couch like I expected. "You have a look on your face," I said wearily.

He sighed, sweeping his hands over his face, staring at the ground for a second before shifting his gaze back to me. "You need to know this."

My heart lurched. "How can there possibly be any _more_ bad news?"

Another ghost of a smile that lasted only a split second before vanishing. "I don't think my mother was using you as a way into the Organization, or she would have made sure to tell me that my main priority was Youichi. I think her intention was for Rei to see your value. She was always planning on getting you back."

"Rei has the same alice as me. What more value could I possibly add?"

He hesitated. "You're not sensitive to some alices. You have two alices."

* * *

A/N: Hello again! Back with a quick update because I'll be away for all of next week so I wanted to give you guys something to tide you over. At the end of this chapter you'll see why I mentioned in a previous A/N that a person can typically only have one alice, so Mikan having two alices is a big deal because it's unheard of, at least in the universe this story takes place in. Any questions you may have at the end of this chapter _should_ be answered in the next chapter or the one after, but definitely still ask me questions if you have them so I can make sure I did actually answer them in later chapters. I don't want to confuse anyone! But it's definitely possible because I would sometimes confuse myself while writing this, especially with all the jumping around chapters I've been doing.

Anyway, that's the end of that weird long blurb. See you guys in a week and a half or so!


	13. Here With Me

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Caught in the riptide  
_ _I was searching for the truth,  
_ _There was a reason  
_ _I collided into you_

-Here with Me  
Susie Suh

My first reaction was to snort. "Don't be absurd." When he just continued to stare at me, though, I reconsidered. "You're serious?"

He nodded. "I've suspected it for awhile, but when Luna told me that she reversed time by a few seconds, I was sure."

"Luna did that, not me."

"No, you did it. By amplifying her alice."

I breathed in once. Out once.

"My mom must have come to the same conclusion, only sooner. Two alices is unheard of. I can think of a few reasons why the Organization would find that useful."

"So if Rei saw that I had two alices, he might be willing to…what?"

He swept his hands over his face again. "Trade Youichi for you."

"Oh. Okay." I sank back into the couch cushions, waiting for the tears. That was what I had initally suspected Mrs. Yamada of doing. "Why couldn't she just call him up and tell him I have two alices? Assuming you're right."

"Like I said, it's unheard of. Rei wouldn't have believed her. And they aren't exactly on speaking terms."

I contemplated. "Do you think it would work? Would they give up Youichi for me?"

His gaze was fiery when it swung back to me. "Don't even think about it."

"He's your brother, Natsume," I whispered. "Do you think it would work?"

"I will get him out of this mess. _You_ are not going to do anything. You don't get to try to be the hero."

"He's a _kid_ , Natsume. Oh, my God. Do you think Rei told him you were there? And that you rescued me but not him? That would-"

"Stop. Speculation isn't going to do anyone any good. You're not going to be doing anything until you get your alices under control." He nodded to the long scar down the length of my arm. "Your amplification alice is dangerous."

I placed my hand on my chest, remembering the feeling as his alice went through me. "Like yours? Is that what yours feels like when you use it? That's why this scar didn't go away?"

"It sounds like, when you amplify other alices, that the alice uses you as a channel. The stronger the alice, the more damage it will do to you." He studied my face for a long few seconds, and I knew what he was telling me.

"So don't touch you, right?" I dropped my head into my hands. "Guess I'll just keep dreaming." I paused as soon as I said it, horror seizing me for a second, but I was honestly too emotionally destroyed to muster much more of a reaction, or even try very hard to backpedal. Who cared if he knew? "Don't say anything. I'm not thinking clearly right now."

"You should rest."

I laughed humorlessly. "Right. Rest. I'll get right on that. Is that why you told Daichi to tell me about the Eagle and the Arrow? Because of my alice?" If I had given Rei that knowledge, if I had allowed him to see my second alice that was apparently impossible, it would have been the means to my own destruction.

A look of bewilderment crossed his face before any expression vanished. "Yes."

"Did you meet him when you were in the Organization? Is that why he helped you help me?"

He paused, as if deciding how much to tell me. "Yes."

"Whose side is he on?"

"Ours."

"You're not going to give me any more than that, are you?"

"No. Sorry." He waited until I looked at him again, and the sincerity when he asked, "Are you okay?" shook me.

I forced a shaky smile. "I don't think so."

His hand slid around the back of neck, over top of my hair, and he reeled me into him. My forehead landed on his chest. I closed my eyes, forcing my breathing to match his, willing the water away from my eyes.

I could do something for him, something that I couldn't do for myself.

"You're a good person, Natsume," I said quietly. "I'm sorry your family is the way it is."

He released me and stood up. "Make sure you tell Narumi about this. He'll help you isolate your alices."

"Where are you going?"

"To take care of some things. I'll get your friends."

I laid down on the couch, wrapping my arms around myself, and nodded. He sighed, picked up a blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch, and tucked it around me. My heart did a funny flip-flop thing, but I dismissed it. Now was not the time for heart flip-flops.

"Don't go far?" I pleaded.

"I won't."

The rest of the crew came back into the room. Sumire sat at my feet, Anna squeezed underneath my head. Hotaru and Ruka sat on the loveseat while Koko took a seat on the armchair. They turned their movie back on, and while none of them asked me what had happened, I took comfort in Anna's soothing stroking of my hair and Sumire's warm hand on my ankle. And while I was still convinced I was walking on thin ice, I started to feel as though if I fell through, I might have someone to pull me back up.

I hoped they would forgive me.

* * *

I didn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned, stared at the ceiling, paced the room, counted sheep, did some sit-ups…anything but sleep. I couldn't shake images of Youichi from my head, or the sound of the explosion that had killed my father. I couldn't shake the knowledge that the woman in charge of protecting me had been willing to sell me out.

At 5 a.m., when sleep had still not come, I threw on some clothes and trotted downstairs to the lobby. I needed to start somewhere, and deciding how I was going to continue to live when my world had been turned upside down about twelve times seemed like a good place to begin.

Instead of walking straight into the café and grabbing a coffee, I sat in one of the chairs outside of the café, but facing it, and stared at the coffee machine on the back wall.

Control. I needed to be in control. I could control my coffee addiction by making sure I didn't fall off the wagon.

I lasted about thirteen minutes before I got up and poured myself a steaming cup. When I sat back down, I brainstormed other ways in which I could remain in control.

Youichi was the first thing that came to mind. If Mrs. Yamada was right about my value, I could see why I'd be useful to Rei. I didn't want to help her in the least, not after what she'd done, but I couldn't stop hearing the dismay in Natsume's voice as he spoke to Ruka. I would do it for him.

But how? I didn't have any way to contact Rei, and I didn't think I could find their headquarters again on my own. On top of that, I had no means of negotiating a deal that would ensure Youichi be handed over to the school. I'd most likely just end up getting us both stuck, and I could see how having both Youichi and me would be very beneficial to Rei.

I'd gone through two and a half cups of coffee by the time I decided to head back upstairs. Anna was up, and she frowned at me as I walked in.

"I thought you quit coffee."

"Yesterday was overwhelming. I earned this coffee." I sat down at the small table across from her. "Aren't you going to ask what happened?"

She shrugged, though her eyes never left mine. "I figured you'd tell us when you were ready."

"I killed my dad," I said bluntly, pushing past the lump in my throat. "I didn't mean to, but I did. Natsume was just going to let me think he did it, even though he knew."

Her eyes welled, but she blinked the tears away. She reached across the table to put her hand over top of mine. It was a small gesture, but it meant so much to me. "I'm sorry, Mikan."

I took another drink of coffee to save myself from having to react.

"He really cares about you."

"He's just doing his job."

She looked about to argue, but stopped herself when Sumire came out of her room, rubbing her eyes and mumbling something about inappropriate dreams. "Morning, ladies," she said sleepily, and then eyed the coffee in my hand. "I thought you quit." Before I could respond, she stumbled back down the hall to the bathroom.

In the cafeteria that morning, I skipped the line for food, knowing it wouldn't stay in my stomach, and went straight for the coffee machine.

"Hey, Mikan."

I turned while I poured coffee into a Styrofoam cup. "Hey, Tsubasa."

"How are you feeling?" He looked genuinely concerned.

I hesitated before forcing a smile. "I'm okay. Thanks for asking. Hey, Tsubasa? Do you want to meet me for a coffee tonight?"

"I wouldn't dare turn you down for a coffee date. What time?"

"Seven?"

He winked. "See you at seven."

I felt eyes on me as I wandered back to where my friends sat, and met Natsume's gaze as he followed me across the room until I sat across from him at the table, but it was Sumire who spoke up.

"What was that about?"

I shrugged, tearing my gaze away from Natsume's. "I was just asking him if he wanted to grab a coffee later."

"Like a date?" Koko asked, glancing at Natsume.

"Well, a coffee date. That doesn't count, does it?"

"It does to him," Ruka said under his breath.

"No, it doesn't," Hotaru offered coolly. "I've photographed him hanging around with Misaki."

Natsume looked at the cup in my hands and didn't hide his disapproval. "You're not eating."

I shook my head. "I'm not even going to bother trying."

In biology, I sat down next to Natsume, trying to act as normal as possible. He would be the one to see through me, if anyone would.

"Did you get your stuff sorted out last night?" I asked him.

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "I can get you off the school grounds, if that's what you want. If you don't feel safe here."

I frowned. "Did something happen?"

"She stands by her decision."

Understanding what he meant, I nodded slowly, then smiled. "I feel safe if you're here." I wanted to take him up on the offer to leave. As long as he went with me. But I couldn't forget about Youichi, and my plan wouldn't work if Natsume was with me.

I met with Mr. Narumi again that afternoon. I went through the conversation I'd had with Natsume, leaving out the part that I was responsible for my dad's death—I wasn't sure I could talk about it without sending myself into another breakdown—and sticking only to the part about my two alices.

His first reaction was concern. "I believe Natsume drew the right conclusion. I had been toying with the idea myself. I just didn't think it was possible."

"Are you sure he's right?" I asked hopefully.

"If you were really just sensitive to some alices, the sensitivity would only affect you. Like Natsume accidentally burning you, or Sumire knocking you out for several days. But the fact that you reversed time, something Luna can't do on her own, is enough proof for me."

"What are the implications? What, exactly, would the Organization use me for?"

Mr. Narumi made a shrugging gesture with one shoulder. "My first concern is that they'd conduct testing on you to find out why you have two alices. If they can figure out a biological reason that you have two alices, they might be able to replicate it. But I can also see how Rei might use you as a weapon. For example, he could use you to use compulsion on a large number of people."

"That would be bad," I agreed.

He nodded solemnly, and then clapped his hands together. "Well, let's get these things sorted out, shall we? Then maybe you and Natsume can celebrate your success at controlling your alices." He winked.

I narrowed my eyes, wondering if he was suggesting what I thought he was. And because I was pretty sure that he was, I wondered why this school was so weird.

Mr. Narumi helped me determine that emotions that made my pulse accelerate were the emotions that caused my amplification alice to rear its ugly head, emotions such as joy, excitement, or stress. Calm resulted in the use of my nullification alice.

We tried a couple exercises in which I was supposed to isolate my alices, view them as two different energies. It was difficult to visualize. And it was pretty unsuccessful.

"There's really no way to get rid of alices?" I asked eventually.

Mr. Narumi smiled gently. "Alices are a gift, Mikan, not a curse. One day you'll be able to see it that way. And to answer your question, no. There isn't any way of getting rid of them. Although to my knowledge, alcohol temporarily dulls them." He laughed—it was almost a giggle. "I drank once or twice when I was your age."

I glared at him. "That's all it takes? A little bit of booze? Jeez, Mr. Narumi, you could have told me that sooner."

He raised an eyebrow. "As far as I know, there isn't anywhere to get alcohol on campus."

I pursed my lips. "Of course there isn't."

The look he gave me was knowing. "Be safe, Mikan."

I made sure to avoid Natsume for the rest of the day, to minimize the chance that he would catch on to something. At seven o'clock, I hurried downstairs to the lobby, where Tsubasa was waiting for me with a coffee in hand.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked, taking in my outdoor clothes.

"I do."

It was cold out, but the night was peaceful. Tsubasa was easy to talk to, and the more I talked to him, the more certain I was that his friendliness was completely platonic. Which was nice. He talked a lot about a girl in our class, Misaki, the girl Hotaru had photographed him with. I figured they were an item.

"Hey, Tsubasa?" I asked when the conversation died down. "You'd help me if I asked, right? Even if you didn't agree with what I was doing?"

He was frowning when he looked at me. "Is everything okay, Mikan?"

I dropped my gaze to my feet. "Not really. I've just found some stuff out recently that just makes me feel…not safe here. I think I need to leave."

"Is it Natsume?" His voice hardened.

"No," I said honestly. "You said I was the only one in the school that could leave if I wanted to." I looked around to make sure there was no one within earshot. "Can you help me get out of here?"

"Mikan, the Organization is after you. Do you really think it's a good idea to leave?"

"I have somewhere to go," I lied. "Somewhere safe. Tsubasa, someone on the school grounds is the reason I was taken in the first place. I'm not safe here."

He seemed to war with himself for a moment, and then finally, he relented. "I'll show you how I would do it if I could, but that's all I'm giving you."

He took me behind the school, where there were small groves of huge trees that were close to the wall. Climbable trees. The one he stopped at looked like it had grown from beneath the wall, so its trunk was nearly flush with the stone.

"There are tress on the other side of the wall here," he explained. "If you could climb this tree and get onto the wall, you could jump onto one of the trees on the other side. Or just jump off the wall and break both your legs. But you'd be out."

I tried to smother the anticipation. "This is perfect. Thank you, Tsubasa."

"Are you sure you can't talk to Natsume about this threat? I know he and I don't get along, because of some things I did in the past that were less than honourable, but I do believe he's a good guy. And he takes his Protector duties very seriously."

"It's the only way, I promise. I'll be okay."

He studied my face. "Will you say bye to me before you leave?"

I smiled sadly and then wrapped my arms around him. "Bye, Tsubasa."

We walked silently back towards the dorm building. When we reached the path, a dark figure walking down the path grabbed our attention. Tsubasa glanced down at me, patted my head with a small smile, and departed, heading for the dorms. I waited on the path until Natsume reached me, and then fell into step beside him.

"Hey," I said. "What are you doing?" Before he could respond, I noticed the duffel bag over his shoulder. "Were you at the gym?"

"What were you doing with Tsubasa?"

"I told you earlier that we were going on a coffee date." I resisted the overwhelming urge to touch him. It felt like the end of the world, and this would be my last chance. "Why're you so serious?"

"Because this is a serious situation. You should be trying to control your alices, not going on coffee dates."

"Mr. Narumi and I already worked on it today. He thinks I'll be able to control them independently, but I'm pretty sure the only solution is to control my emotions. And I'm not very good at that. So maybe I should just go with the flow."

"Your alice has had the same affect on your body's ability to heal in a matter of months that mine has had in eighteen _years._ This is serious, Legs."

My mood deflated when the weight of what he was saying hit me. "Okay, so no going with the flow. So I can't be happy, or excited, or nervous because I might be using my ability?"

He cast me a sidelong glance and sighed. "You'll be able to control it with some practice."

"Yeah, some practice at being emotionless like you." I crinkled my nose. "Can you imagine me walking around like you all the time, with that sour look? It doesn't suit my face."

We reached the dorm building, and he pulled the door open for me. I nodded at him dramatically and marched past, waiting for him to follow before matching his stride up the stairs. I considered maybe I was being too overdramatic, and that he was going to think something was off, but he didn't seem to be picking up on it. And if I just ran in the other direction without a word he would definitely suspect something.

He opened the door to his dorm and I mindlessly followed him in. I looked around, but Ruka and Koko were nowhere to be found. "Where are your friends?"

"Probably with your friends."

"Are you going to go hang out with them?"

"No, I'm going to hang out with you."

I smiled, following him into his room. "That's awfully sweet of you. Look, I came prepared." I unzipped my jacket and tossed it aside, striking a pose so he could see my long sleeved sweater, long pants, and the gloves I still wore on my hands. "Now you can touch me all you want." As soon as the words left my lips, I clapped my hands over my mouth. "That came out wrong."

Smirking, he turned his back to me and pulled his shirt over his head, replacing it with a plain white t-shirt while I gawked at the expanse of muscles on his back. Then he unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of them, remaining in his boxers as he went to climb into bed, pausing when he saw me staring.

"Problem?"

"I thought you said you were going to hang out with me. Not get undressed."

"You can go hang out with Tsubasa."

I folded my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows. "You _are_ jealous!" I batted my eyelashes at him. "Don't worry, my hero, I have eyes only for you."

Any humour dropped off his face. "Are you okay?" he asked seriously.

I didn't blame him for thinking something was off. Just one night before I had been pretty sure I couldn't continue living under the weight of the guilt I felt, and now here I was being _normal_.

"No," I answered honestly. "But I'm dealing. In my own way. I know it doesn't seem like the right way, but I'm just..." The words weren't on my tongue. "It's hard to figure out how to continue living when you've just found out that you killed your father. So I'm trying not to think about it." No need to mention that it was still in the back of my head like a shadow that was trying to encase every corner of my mind in darkness. That would be dramatic.

He studied me for a long second and then walked around me, leaving the door open behind him as he walked out. I hurried after him.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To get your roommates."

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm and forced him to stop and face me. "Can you tell me more about the Organization? Like what they had you doing when you were there? So I know what we're up against." So I knew what _I_ was up against.

He paused, his hand on the door. When he pulled free of me and walked into the hallway, I followed. I found him sitting on the couch, a distant look on his face, but he nodded at the sofa adjacent to where he sat, and I sank into the cushions, watching him curiously.

His eyes were dark when they met mine. "What do you want to know?"

"What happened between your parents?" I wasn't sure why it was the first question that came to my lips, but I understood it's importance. They were in the middle of all of this.

He sighed. "They married when they were young, had me. They both grew up with alices. They were thrilled when I displayed mine. They got less thrilled when I started accidentally setting things on fire, when I was alienated at school."

It was difficult for me to picture Natsume alone in the lunch room, the butt of nasty jokes, or the black sheep of the group. Not with the way that people gravitated towards him now. My heart hurt for the small fire-wielding child who probably wondered everyday why people didn't like him.

"Alices have existed for as long as people have existed, but there has always been a divide between those who have them, and those who don't. Those who don't have them feel threatened, so those who did have them had to hide them.

"My mother believed children with abilities could be integrated into society; my father didn't believe they should have to integrate at all. But the government was strict on its policies for those who were found to have alices. If they were found, they were taken into custody and then never seen again. Likely executed."

I was gaping. "This was less than twenty years ago! That's absolutely _barbaric_."

"My mother thought so too. She petitioned the government to allow her to start a school, to show children with alices that they could control their abilities and blend into society. And to protect them. My father disagreed with her—he thought those with alices should be free to use them and that those who disagreed should be the ones being punished. He made his opinions known to her, but she went forward. My mother was granted permission to run the school."

"These buildings are _old_ though," I protested. "Updated, but old."

He nodded. "It used to be a private Catholic school. Shut down because of a tarnished reputation when teachers were accused of molesting students. The property was condemned; my mother pulled some strings. Students came in from all over the country. Parents jumped on the chance to save their children. My mother was ecstatic.

"Rei had gone behind her back and spoke with government officials about the possibility of a group of people with alices that could be used as a covert military group for carrying out the government's agenda. For national defense purposes. After hundreds of meetings and planning and assessments, the Organization was created."

I could feel the hint of a headache trying to make itself known, and I chalked it up to the fact that I was staring so intently at him.

"I think the plan was always to go rogue, but for the first few years, they did what they were designed to do: killed enemies that threatened the country. They did so discreetly and without leaving a trace, so nothing could ever be traced back to the president. By that time the school was successful, and my mother and Rei were beginning to have problems. Then Youichi was born.

"He displayed signs of his alice when he was still an infant. He always had to be held in a blanket unless he was sleeping. My mother would sometimes let him use his alice on her, for the sake of helping him grow." His eyes flickered to my expression of horror. "Your amplification alice, and the fact that Youichi has been being trained by Rei for years, is what nearly killed you. When he was a baby, the affect he had on my mother would have, at most, made her feel tired.

"She wanted to send him to the elementary campus when he was old enough. It isn't far from here, but she planned on transferring there to be closer to him. Rei saw a different kind of potential. When Youichi was 5, Rei took him to the Organization. Almost immediately after, the Organization went rogue.

"They started killing people who voiced their concerns about those with alices. They started taking payments to perform assassinations, whether in the best interest of the country or not. They had the leaders of other countries hiring them to assassinate _our_ government officials. They turned into an assassin-for-hire organization. Your dad wasn't on board; he went to the Secretary of Defense, and he was encouraged to remain with the Organization in order to help get it under control."

"Because they had blackmail, right?"

"Yes. They kept records of every job, every kill, every cover-up. Alices don't even exist in society today; people don't know about them. If information like that got out, information suggesting the government not only participated in questionable actions in the name of defense, but that they had people with superpowers to do it? It would bring this country to its knees. Not to mention evidence of an American government organization performing assassinations of its own officials would drive all the conspiracy theorists in the country to riot. Your dad's job was the find out where that information was being kept. Rei made sure it was known that if he died, it would be released to the public."

"Shady," I muttered.

"Rei hid Youichi from my mother. He erected security that was impenetrable because he had a whole Organization of people that were loyal to him and to his cause. People with alices. He'd been forming an army right under the government's nose. He threatened Youichi's life if anyone tried to extract him. While my mother was confident Rei wouldn't hurt him, if only because of his usefulness, she wasn't willing to risk it.

"I'd been trying to find a way into the Organization for years, to get him out. That's how the assignments I was sent on started out. They eventually evolved to try to take down the Organization in other ways, but initially I figured the only way in was to let them catch me."

The thought of a younger Natsume being tasked with something so heavy hurt me. How old was he when he started doing the assignments? 15? 16? Too young.

He wasn't looking at me, but staring straight at the ground as he spoke. "I didn't know about Kyo at the time."

"Baldy," I conceded, nodding.

A ghost of a smile dusted across his face. Despite the heavy conversation, I found myself thinking of his smile, the real one I'd seen when I'd tried to take a drag from his smoke. I wanted to see it again. But I didn't want to try another cigarette.

"Compulsion kept me from trying to escape, but it was their threats against Youichi that had me carrying out their agenda."

My breath caught. "Agenda…?"

When he looked at me, there were storm clouds in his eyes. "I killed for them."

While I had suspected this was the way the conversation was going, hearing the words come from his mouth still gave me a shock. It took several seconds before I realized I'd stopped breathing, and before I realized I should probably say something. My mouth moved and no words came out.

"Your dad saw firsthand what was happening. He came to me with an idea, a way to get both Youichi and I out of the Organization. He'd found some information suggesting that Rei had been tipped off about his real purpose in the Organization. He knew it was only a matter of time before he'd be killed. He was Rei's second in command, so he knew that Rei would get me to do it. He wanted me to follow through with the order, help him fake his death so he could get back into the Organization, finish whatever he had started, and get Youichi out. On one condition."

"Me," I offered.

"You," he confirmed. "I had to protect you. He knew that if they had deduced he was a threat, they would dig into his life to make sure there weren't anymore threats. I don't know if he knew about your alice, but his keeping you a secret garnered the Organization's interest. The fact that Alice Academy had tabs on you, too, didn't help."

"Your mom said my dad contacted them on the day he died," I recalled.

"In case things didn't go as planned," he confirmed. "In case I didn't get out. But I did, although it didn't go as planned." He paused, surveying my expression as he talked about my dad's death.

"You held up your end of the deal," I said evenly. "Even though you didn't have to."

"Your dad was a good man, Legs. He did what he could to help Youichi and I."

The crushing boot on my chest returned. It was easy to be angry with my father because of what he had planned to do, to leave me in the dark and let me think he was dead, but it didn't stop me from missing him.

"I'm sorry he couldn't get your brother out."

Shock registered on his face, if only briefly. "I'm responsible for your dad's death and you're apologizing to me?"

"Rei and Kyo are responsible for my dad's death, not you. I am, too. But not you." Before he could argue, I pressed on, "That guy that you know inside the Organization. Daichi. Is he trying to find out what my dad was trying to find out?"

"Yes, but he has to make his way up through the ranks. Which takes time."

"Why can't he get Youichi out?"

"Youichi is on lockdown. Daichi would be killed before he got thirty feet from an exit."

"How do _you_ plan to get him out, assuming you're able to get into the Organization?"

His gaze dropped; my stomach dropped, too. "Daichi's alice isn't like mine. If I can get in, no one will stand in my way."

I understood what he meant. If he got into the Organization, he would kill any person who crossed his path to get Youichi out. Unless that person was me.

He must have caught the look on my face. "Don't go down that road again," he said sharply. "You were in more danger than he was."

"He was _right there_ , Natsume. If I had just-"

"We barely got out of there without him," he reminded me. "We'd all be dead if I'd tried to get him, too."

I gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Something tells me you'd rather be dead."

He was silent for a long few seconds before he said, "Maybe before."

"Before what?" When he gave me no indication that he had any intention to answer, I sighed and changed the subject. "What was my dad's alice?"

"What's taken you so long to ask?"

"Fear. Denial." I shrugged. "Whatever it was, it didn't help him."

"He could steal alices. Take an alice from someone else and use it, while they were rendered useless."

"Nifty."

His eyes were still on me, and I took a moment to lose myself in them, to pretend that we were just a boy and a girl, having a normal conversation, at a normal school, under normal circumstances.

"Are you sleeping better?"

The question surprised me, and for a second I had to think about it. I wasn't about to tell him about the nice dream I'd had the other night, so I sufficed for saying, "The nightmares aren't so bad anymore. Less vivid. Not as frequent. I'm still not very good at sleeping, though. That's why I picked up on coffee again." I rolled my shoulders and stood. "Speaking of coffee, I could use another."

He stood up, too, and the movement put him in close proximity to me. Close enough I could feel the heat wafting off his body and smell the alluring scent on his skin. And wonder why these things were on my mind when I had everything else piled on top of me. I stood, still as a stone, as he reached up and brushed a strand of hair off my cheek, his fingers soft as a butterfly's wing on my skin.

"Why didn't you tell me about my second alice sooner?" My voice was barely a whisper, but that was because I felt like someone was sitting on me because being this close to Natsume apparently had that effect on me.

"Because you would have figured out what happened to your dad. You didn't need that."

I swallowed the wave of emotion. "You're a good man, too, you know," I muttered under my breath.

He looked like he wanted to argue, but instead his eyes landed on my lips. I held my breath, so when I said, "Don't talk yourself out of it again," it sounded raspy. His lips curved, my heart flipped, like, twelve times, and before he could change his mind again, I closed the distance between us.

I waited for the searing pain of his alice, but it didn't come. Instead, I felt a different kind of heat in my body. His lips were gentle on mine, like he was testing the waters. His hands landed on my waist, and gravity turned on its side. I fell into him, hands sliding up his chest, around his neck, to get lost in his hair. Because I could feel the electricity between our bodies, because it was sending chills across my spine, I deepened the kiss. In response, he let go of his inhibitions.

His arms wound around me. I didn't have to picture the bands of muscles because I could feel them on my body. He was a _really_ good kisser. Which shouldn't have surprised me, because he was Natsume Hyuga. The thought brought with it a jolt of excitement, which meant my pulse spiked.

Natsume pretty much threw me across the room. I smelled the smoke and looked down at myself, and the spots on my body where his hands had been, where my clothes had started to burn. He had only just reached my skin, just enough to make it sting, but based on the look on his face, you'd think he had just fried me.

Frustrated tears sprang to my eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked cautiously.

"Excuse me," I bit out venomously, spinning on my heel. "I have to go curse the universe for giving me this stupid alice."

Anna and Sumire came back to the room about an hour later. Sumire went straight to the bathroom, while Anna came into my room to check on me, only to find me with my face in my pillow, sniffling.

"What happened?" she asked, alarmed, no doubt seeing the state of my shirt.

"My _alice_ happened," I seethed. I hadn't told them about my second alice yet. I wasn't sure if I was going to. Being unique sucked. "Guarantee he'll never touch me again after that."

"Touch you how…?" she pried.

I peeked at her over my pillow. "We kissed. It was amazing. Anna, it was _so_ amazing. Then I ruined it."

She stroked my back, inconspicuously running her hands over the holes in my shirt. The stinging stopped. "I knew this would happen."

"That he'd burn me because of my stupid alice?"

"No, that you'd kiss him."

" _I_ didn't even know I was going to kiss him until I was kissing him. How would _you_ know?"

She chuckled. "Not everyone is blind. I won't tell Sumire."

"It wouldn't matter anyway. He's never going to touch me again. You should have seen the look on his face."

"You guys will figure it out." She stood. "Talk to him tomorrow."

"Hey, Anna?" I called out before she left. "You and Sumire know I love you guys, right?"

She smiled softly. "We love you, too. But seriously, keep this on the down-low for now, otherwise Sumire will love you a little less."

When she left, I buried my head back into my pillow. Maybe if the kiss hadn't ended in my alice causing Natsume to burn holes in my shirt, I would have changed my mind. But since it did, I didn't. I was a ticking time bomb, and I didn't want to be anywhere near here when I went off.

* * *

A/N: I'm back with regular updates :) I've pretty much finished writing this story and it looks like it's going to be 19 chapters plus an epilogue.

I know this chapter had a lot of background information but it's important to touch on. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!


	14. I Found

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I found love where it wasn't supposed to be,  
_ _Right in front of me_

-I Found  
Amber Run

The next day—Saturday—I resisted getting out of bed. Today was the day. Part of me wished I could lay here all day, and not have to face my roommates or Natsume. I didn't want to see Anna and Sumire smile at me and invite me to breakfast and tell me about their plans; it would only make me miss them more. And I didn't want to face Natsume because I was embarrassed about what had happened the night before. And I still had unfinished business with him.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed. It was just before eight, and Anna and Sumire hadn't emerged from their rooms yet. I used the opportunity to go get a coffee, but I didn't get far before I ran into Hotaru.

"Morning," I said as cheerfully as possible.

She didn't look convinced. "Where are you going?" she drawled.

"To get coffee. The usual routine." When she just continued to stare at me, I reluctantly added, "Do you want to come?"

"I don't drink coffee."

We stood awkwardly in the hallway before I smiled. "Alright, well, I'll see you later."

"Mikan," she called after me. When I turned, she said, "Don't do anything stupid."

I didn't think Hotaru could possibly know what I was up to, but that didn't stop me from feeling uneasy. I tried to shake off the feeling and grabbed myself a coffee, cautiously looking around the sitting area to make sure Natsume wasn't around, and then darted back upstairs.

Anna and Sumire got up a little while later, bleary-eyed and stumbly. It was adorable, and for half a second I wondered if it was better for me to just stay. To figure out another way.

But a louder part of me insisted there wasn't another way. I needed to make it up to Youichi and Natsume, preferably before the guilt ate me alive.

Once Anna seemed to wake up, she gave me a calculating stare. Sumire had gone to the bathroom to shower, so Anna used to opportunity to bring up Natsume. "Are you going to talk to him?"

"Uh…no?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Why not?"

"Wouldn't it just be better to leave it? Pretend it didn't happen? Then Sumire will never find out. It's not like it'll ever happen again. It's literally impossible."

"It's not impossible," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It'll just take some work."

If I had any artistic talent, I would have offered to draw the expression on Natsune's face that told me just how unlikely that was to happen. But since I didn't have any artistic talent, I simply bobbed my head and took a sip of coffee. I was going to miss coffee.

"You should talk to him anyway," she pressed. "Can't be good on a guy's ego for a girl to go running from his presence in tears after he kissed her."

"He's got a big enough ego as it is. It could use some deflating."

Sumire emerged from the bathroom, and she let it drop.

"What should we do today?" Sumire asked as she towelled moisture out of her hair.

"I've got a yoga date with Nonoko," Anna said.

"I have to do…laundry," I said lamely.

Sumire frowned. "Lame. Maybe I'll see if Natsume wants to hang out."

"Yeah!" I nearly shouted, earning me a sharp glare from Anna. "I mean, that sounds like a great idea. It'll keep him out of my hair, anyway."

Casting one more suspicious glance between me and Anna, Sumire wandered back down the hallway.

"Smooth," Anna whispered.

I shrugged.

We went to breakfast together, and I tried to absorb the normalcy of it all. The buffet, the chatter, the coffee. Tsubasa caught my gaze from across the dining hall, but I only offered him a small smile before turning away.

Natsume was already sitting down at the table with Ruka and Koko when we arrived. Hotaru was there too, and she followed me with her icy stare, which made my skin crawl. There was no way she knew, I reminded myself.

Sumire plopped down next to Natsume, with barely an inch of space between them. I was grateful, because it meant I didn't have to sit beside him. I sat next to Sumire so I wouldn't have to make awkward eye contact across the table at him.

I indulged on French toast, fruit, a bagel, and some bacon and eggs. Several eyes watched me as I devoured every last crumb on the plate, but I tried to ignore them.

Ruka cleared his throat, his eyes darting quickly to Natsume before resting on me. "So, Mikan, what are you up to today?"

"Laundry," I said around a mouthful of syrup-soaked French toast.

"You're going to explode," Sumire commented dryly.

"Am not," I mumbled.

"What are you doing after laundry?" Ruka pressed. "We're thinking about going to the movie they're playing in the gym tonight."

"Ooh, I want to come!" Sumire exclaimed.

I was busy glaring at Ruka, who was looking between Natsume and I with a devious little grin on his face. My own face was starting to heat up; I could feel the blood crawling up my neck and to my cheeks. Not just because I was embarrassed though. Clearly, whatever had happened between Natsume and I had been meaningful enough that it had constituted Natsume telling Ruka about it.

I swallowed a too-large piece of food. It hurt. "Maybe. I've got a _lot_ of laundry. And you know when you leave your stuff in the dryer too long there's the possibility that someone will throw it all over the front lawn."

"I don't think that's ever happened," Anna mused.

"There's a first for everything."

"I'd say," Koko muttered, earning a glare from me. "It would sure be nice if Mikan could come, right Natsume?"

I took a drink of coffee to hide my surprise that he'd also told Koko about it. How had that conversation gone, I wondered? I reluctantly met Natsume's gaze over top of Sumire's head. He was amused, no doubt by the redness in my face, and I hated him for acting so blasé about it. Maybe our shared kiss last night had been less than average for him. He _was_ more experienced than me. No need for me to go admitting that it had rocked my world.

"Sorry, if I don't do laundry, I won't have anything to wear."

His lips curved. "That's okay."

I dropped my gaze to Sumire in horror, but she seemed oblivious to the innuendo. I shifted my glare to Natsume, stuffed a piece of bacon in my mouth, and stood. " _Maybe_ I'll see all you losers later. But after this happy little breakfast, don't count on it. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the laundry room."

I did have a lot of laundry, and because it had been my excuse, I decided I may as well do it. Then at least Sumire and Anna wouldn't be stuck doing it after I was gone. I grabbed a book and a basket and spent a couple hours in the comfy chairs in the laundry room. Some people said hi to me as they came in and out, but I thankfully didn't see any of my friends.

Until I was on my last load of laundry. I was pulling my clothes out of the dryer and folding them when I heard someone walk into the laundry room. Honestly, I smelled his signature scent first, and immediately snapped into an upright position.

After a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart, I glanced over my shoulder as nonchalantly as I could. "Oh, hey."

"Hey," he said in that deep voice that made my skin tremble.

"Whatcha doing down here?"

"Laundry."

I turned around, a garment in my hands, and raised an eyebrow. "You don't have a basket."

He shrugged one shoulder, then zeroed in on the garment in my hand. "Polka dots. Nice."

I followed his gaze, horrified when I saw I was holding one of my thongs. Recovering myself, I glowered at him and threw the panties into my basket. "Did Anna send you down here? She totally did, didn't she?"

"She thinks we need to talk."

I glanced at the dryer, which was still full of clothes I needed to fold, and decided I was not going to stand there a second longer. I pulled the rest of the clothes out of the dryer and stuffed them on top of the folded clothes in my basket and picked it up. "We really don't have to talk about it."

His dark eyes followed me to the door, where he stepped in front of me so I couldn't pass. "Why not?"

I fought the blush. "It's really not necessary. I understand it was probably a lapse of judgement on your part and-"

"It wasn't."

I caught my breath and forced myself to meet his gaze. "Are you going to that movie tonight?" Part of me hoped he would say yes, because then I wouldn't have to face him, but another part of me-

"No."

I patted his chest. "Why don't I come by later? We can talk then." Before he could respond, either to confirm or not, I slipped past him and nearly ran for the safety of the dorm room. I needed to collect my thoughts before I said another word to him because hormone-infused Mikan with a death wish who had a crush on the hunky guy next door was bound to do something rash if I didn't.

Sumire and Anna were both out, so I used the free time to tidy up my room and fret over the conversation Natsume and I were going to have later. It would obviously be best to just be straight and to the point—the kiss did not mean anything. Even if it did. Even if I wanted to do it again.

I thought of Sumire and felt the twist of guilt in my gut. She would hate me. It would be best to meet with Natsume, set him straight, and agree that it would never happen again. Not that there would be the opportunity of it happening again. Today would be my last day at the Academy.

I skipped lunch, so I was at the room when Anna got back from yoga. I stuck my head out of my bedroom door and hit her with the nastiest glare I could muster.

"What?" she exclaimed. "I was just trying to help!"

"Quit helping," I growled. "I don't want to upset Sumire."

She propped her hand on her hip. "I love Sumire, Mikan. But Natsume is never going to have feelings for her. It would be a waste for you not to act on this because you're worried about Sumire. She'll get over it."

"Natsume does _not_ have feelings for me. I'm not even sure he has feelings at all."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so thick sometimes. If you don't talk to him, I will drag you over there by your ear and lock you in a broom closet with him."

"Oh, my God, okay. I'll go talk to him tonight. Just make sure Sumire goes to that movie with you guys tonight so I don't get busted."

She flashed a smile. "Okay."

* * *

Anna held up her end of the deal and ushered Sumire out of the room that night to go to the movie. Sumire whined the whole way out the door, saying she didn't want to go if Natsume wasn't going. Anna persuaded her by telling her that Natsume was going to join later. I didn't know if that was true or not, but I could tell by the look Anna gave me that _she_ didn't think it was true.

I didn't go over to his room right away. I paced back in forth in my bedroom, trying to decide what to do. It was nearly nine o'clock when I finally rolled my eyes to the ceiling, cursed loudly, and stomped over to the door next to ours.

He opened on the second knock. "Thought you chickened out."

I glowered at him and then stormed into the room. "I'm no chicken." Without waiting for him, I stomped down the hallway to his bedroom and found the bottle of liquor on his desk. I didn't even bother looking for a glass, opting instead for popping the lid off and taking a drink straight from the bottle.

Natsume wandered into the bedroom behind me. "Help yourself," he said sarcastically.

I took another drink, wincing at the burn. "If we're going to do this, I need to be inebriated."

"Why?"

"Because you make me nervous."

"Why?"

I shot him another glare, took another drink. "Do you believe in fate?" I asked him.

"No."

"I didn't think you would. You don't seem like the 'fate' type. So you don't think its fate that we met?"

"No. I think it was a few poor decisions by third parties that led to this."

"Are they really poor decisions, though?" I studied him carefully. He was wearing a dark t-shirt and dark jeans. His gun, for whatever reason, was tucked into his belt, which led to the words, "You look really hot when you pull your gun," spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them.

One of his eyebrows shot up; it clearly was not where he had expected this conversation to go. Although I wasn't sure where he _did_ expect it to go. "Something on your mind, Legs?"

I took another drink, needing the extra dose of courage. "Lots on my mind, as usual. Mr. Narumi said sometimes alcohol can mute alices temporarily. I don't think he meant to say it as a suggestion. Or maybe he did. Who knows? It _is_ Mr. Narumi. Anyway, I'm here to test it. Why did you kiss me yesterday?"

He didn't hesitate to say, "Because I wanted to."

"Hm." I pondered this. "What about the other day, in the bathroom?"

"I wanted to then, too."

"Why didn't you?"

He looked away. "You've been through a lot. I don't want to push you."

I pursed my lips, swinging the bottle by the neck back and forth like a pendulum. "Would you kiss me again if it wouldn't burn me?"

"If it wouldn't burn you."

"Sumire really likes you."

"I know."

"I'd be a bad friend if…" I trailed off. If I what? Did all the things to him that I'd been dreaming about? Acted on the feeling that I had deep in my core? I was usually a five-date-rule kind of girl, but this would be my last chance. I didn't expect to ever see him again after tonight, and if I didn't at least give it my all, I'd be kicking myself for the rest of my life, however short it might be.

And this was _Natsume._ He looked godly, like the night I'd met him. T-shirt tight across his chest and arms, hair mussed like he'd run his fingers through it. Bands of muscle. Dark eyes. The embodiment of sexy.

I wanted to know what it would be like. To be with him, completely. Just for one night. And Luna was out of the picture now. Even if his relationship with her had bothered me, did it really matter? At this moment?

I fidgeted for a second, trying to talk myself out of it. Then, I heaved a loud sigh, set the bottle on his desk, and said, "Screw it, I'm a bad friend," before closing the distance between us.

This kiss wasn't chaste. It wasn't innocent, like we were testing the waters. It was months of pent-up emotion. Pent-up desire that we'd both been trying to supress. This kiss was hungry.

I tangled my hands in his hair, pulling his mouth down hard on mine. The force of my pull caused us to stumble until my back collided with the wall. His tongue slipped between my lips, exploring my mouth while his hands slipped under my shirt and up my back. His hands were hot, but they didn't burn me.

Feeling victorious, and confident, I let my own tongue wander into his mouth. He made a sound at the back of his throat that made me tremble with desire; I gently bit his lip in response. He pressed his body into mine, so I could feel every inch of him, of his need that mirrored mine.

"Stop me," he muttered against my jaw, where he'd started to brush his lips. "Tell me to stop."

" _I_ came onto _you_ ," I responded breathlessly. "You tell me to sto-" I broke off in a gasp as he nibbled gently on my earlobe.

He hooked his hands on the backside of my knees and lifted me off the ground. I wound my legs around his waist while he carried me to the bed, dropping me down gently on my back before climbing on top of me. His lips stayed glued to mine the entire time. His hands had gone back up my shirt, expertly undoing my bra. There was a short moment of panic when I remembered that he was good at this and I was sort of inexperienced in comparison, but the feeling disappeared when he brushed a kiss across my cheekbones, soft as a butterfly's wing on my skin. That kiss wasn't sexual; it was achingly intimate.

And then his lips were gone, and he was hanging over me, his forehead pressed to my shoulder, breathing heavily. "We shouldn't do this."

I was a little impressed. The fact that he was willing to stop, even though I could tell by the strain in his voice that he didn't want to, was nice. Thoughtful. I wasn't really in the mood for thoughtful, though. "Why not?"

"I don't want to take advantage of what you've been through."

I grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look at me. "Am I the only girl in this godforsaken school you decided to have a conscience with?"

"Yes," he mumbled into my mouth.

"Why? Because I didn't melt into a puddle when I saw you?"

"Something like that."

"Hate to break it to you, but I kind of did. It was that whole gun-pulling thing. Then you opened your mouth and I had second thoughts. And then you grew on me."

He brushed his thumb across my cheek, and for a moment I just revelled in the fact that he was touching me without fearing he was going to burn me. "We don't have to do this. Not if you don't want to. We can go slow."

I hooked my fingers into his belt loops and tugged his hips down to mine. "I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do. You're not taking advantage of me. But since you're worried you are, that must mean you're not going to think of me as just another conquest, right?"

He stared at me for so long that I felt like he was staring straight into my soul. I felt more embarrassed about that than I did about my bra being undone or my clothes being pulled at weird angles. "You're not a conquest." When he dipped his mouth back to mine, the kiss was gentle.

"Don't laugh at my small boobs," I whispered, popping the button on his pants open.

He touched every inch of my body with his mouth. The scar on my arm, the freckles on my back, the birth mark on the inside of my knee. Not a single inch was left untouched by his lips or his tongue or his teeth or any combination of the three.

Contrary to what I was sure was popular belief, I was not a virgin. I'd had one other serious boyfriend with whom I'd gone to third base—in the backseat of a truck, because we'd had limited options—but nothing could have prepared me for what it would be like with Natsume, where I was the only focus, where my needs and desires came first. His skill and experience was evident in the way he moved, but I found it didn't bother me like I expected it to. How could it, when my entire body was on fire? He didn't burn me, despite my galloping heart and blood roaring in my ears, but when we moved together, we were ignited in flames, and we burned together.

* * *

Natsume fell asleep on his back, one arm over his head, the other wrapped around my shoulders, securing me to his chest. I watched him sleep for some time, listening to his heart under my ear, feeling his breaths as he inhaled and exhaled softly.

I wanted to stay there forever, to pretend there wasn't a war waging outside the window. But there was, and there was blood on my hands. I wanted to wipe my slate clean, and there was only one way I could think to do that.

He would hate me in the morning, but maybe only for awhile. Maybe only until his brother was in his arms. And then he would forget about me.

"I like you," I whispered to his sleeping ears. It felt good to say it out loud. "A lot. I wish I could see where this would go. Not that it would go anywhere. Because you're Natsume Hyuga and I'm just Mikan." I sighed. "I'm sorry."

I slipped out of his embrace, shivering in the coolness of the room that wrapped around me. I silently opened his nightstand, where I'd seen him put his gun, and then I quietly gathered my clothes from the floor and slipped them back on before tip-toeing out of the room.

I hoped Sumire wouldn't find out. Maybe if I never came back, she'd end up with Natsume. And maybe that was okay.

I found the tree I'd scoped out with Tsubasa. Easy enough to climb, close enough to the wall that I could make the jump. The only trick would be keeping my emotions in check.

They would be watching the school. They were interested in me. I was potentially their greatest weapon. They wanted me. That's what I was banking on, anyway. I wouldn't know where to go if they weren't waiting for me.

When I jumped out of the tree and landed awkwardly on the wall, I was expecting a shock. Instead, I set off the alarm.

"Shit," I whispered as the eerie wail of the alarm echoed across the sleeping campus. I leapt forward blindly, reaching for a branch. My hands made contact, but my forward momentum caused me to start swinging too far forward, and in a panic, my brain decided the best thing I could do was let go of the branch. I fell the rest of the way down, bouncing off branches on the way. It didn't feel pleasant.

I hadn't even had time to stand up before flashlights were swinging through the trees and people were shouting. I remembered Mrs. Yamada saying there was protective detail on the outside of the wall. That was probably who I was hearing. I rolled to my feet with a grunt and ducked into the bushes.

The voices eventually faded. Two bodies walked right past me, but I figured they were more concerned with someone getting in, rather than out. I held still for several more minutes just to be sure, and then stood.

Flashlights blinded me. I heard a gun cock. In the same instant, I pulled the gun I'd taken from Natsume. But instead of pointing it at the three men in front of me, I pressed the barrel to my temple.

"Don't move," I snapped. "Or I'll shoot myself."

"What, pray tell, would that accomplish?" one man asked. I recognized him from the Organization. He was the one that had dunked my head in the basin.

"Rei won't have an integral part of his greatest weapon," I said, forcing a sly smile. "I want to negotiate a deal."

The man motioned for his comrades to lower their weapons, but I kept mine in place. "What kind of deal?" There was shouting on the other side of the wall. I felt the need to move quickly.

"Rei can have me if he returns Youichi to his mother."

"You think I believe you're going to shoot yourself?"

I barked a laugh. "What, _honestly,_ do I have left to lose?" I was bluffing, but I thought I sounded convincing enough. "I'm the girl with two alices. I've been told I'm very valuable. Which means Rei has a lot to lose."

"Well, this became a lot easier than we anticipated." The voice came from behind me, and it scared the shit out of me because it was both close and familiar. I was so busted, which meant I was going to have to face the wrath of Natsume.

Before I could tell Reo to back off, I was struck in the back of the head and I fell face-first into black.

* * *

A/N: Short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!


	15. Clean

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Rain came pouring down,  
_ _When I was drowning  
_ _That's when I could finally breathe_

 _-_ Clean  
Taylor Swift

 **NATSUME**

The sound of the alarm woke me up instantly. My first reaction was to roll out of bed and go find my assignment, but I quickly remembered, with a shot of relief, that my assignment was already with me.

I glanced over my shoulder at the bed, expecting to see Legs, with her long hair sprawled around her, her eyes closed and her face soft with sleep. Probably drooling. Except the bed was empty.

Her clothes were gone, I quickly realized. Which meant she'd left on her own. I would have heard if someone had tried to take her, and I was certain the type of kidnapper that was after her wouldn't have bothered putting her clothes back on, not after how I'd found her in the Organization.

Panic surged through me. I pulled my clothes on quickly and then reached for the drawer of the nightstand. When I opened it and saw that my gun was missing, the pieces fell into place.

"For fuck's sake," I muttered.

Ruka and Koko were already up. Ruka rubbed his eyes and then frowned at me. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I answered. "Go find Imai." While he did that, I stopped at the door next to ours and started to pound on it, ignoring the sleepy students that were emerging from their rooms and the nervous chatter that was beginning to fill the hallway.

Anna opened the door. When she saw me, her brows instantly furrowed. "Natsume?"

"Is she here?"

"No, I thought she was with you." When I only stared hard at her, she called over her shoulder for Sumire to check Mikan's room. I heard Sumire's response and spun on my heel.

Anna hurried after me. "Did they take her again? Oh, my God, how did they get in-"

"They didn't take her. She left."

Anna stopped abruptly in her tracks, and I left her there. She would be upset; she didn't know why Mikan would have left. But I did.

My mother was already in her office by the time I got there. The alarm had been shut off, which meant that the staff had determined there was no threat to the campus. She looked up upon my arrival, her hair disheveled.

"No one has breached the wall," she assured me. "We're trying to determine what set the alarm off."

"Mikan did," I informed her. "She got out."

My mother stared at me for a few long seconds, and then dropped into the chair behind her desk, her shoulders sagging. "Of course. She's the only one the barrier wouldn't work on. Do you know why?"

I could see her face when I confirmed that Youichi was my brother, watched as her expression turned from disbelief into guilt that overwhelmed her. And then she'd put the pieces together, like I knew she would, and collapsed to the ground. I should have recognized her expression when she came to see me only hours before. I should have recognized the resolve on her face.

I had been resisting her for weeks, although I had been more than aware of her from the moment she pointed that gun at me that day in the motel. I knew there was mutual attraction. She hadn't kept it a secret that she found me attractive. And to me she was…alluring. Beautiful. Feisty. She was a light that I had been scared to taint with the darkness that followed me around. She was a lot of emotion packed into a small body and sometimes I wanted to drop kick her to another planet, but she was _Mikan_.

And I had gotten the vibe that she wasn't the type to move quickly with a guy, so I should have known there was something else going on.

She had expected it to be the last time she saw me. That's why she had come to my room.

I needed to find her, because I needed to show her that I was willing to take things slow with her—if she ever spoke to me again after she found out the truth—to show her that she wasn't just another notch in my bedpost.

She had been amazing. Her skin had been soft, her smiles lazy and satisfied. She had been everything I thought she would be, even more. It hadn't been awkward, it had felt _right_. I'd fallen asleep with her curled against me, her fingers tracing circles on my chest. It was the only time I'd fallen asleep next to a girl. I expected to wake up in the morning with her drooling on me.

"She's going to try to get Youichi," I answered eventually, and I hated the way that she perked up. "It won't work. Her amplification alice with Youichi's alice gives Rei an effective weapon. He's not going to give up either of them."

Her face fell. "I've failed her."

"You have. You've failed her and her father." She flinched. "So have I. Her father failed her, too. Everyone has failed her." I looked around the empty office. "Where's Reo?"

She shrugged her shoulder half-heartedly. "I haven't seen him. Figured he was at the wall. What are you going to do?"

I knew where the Organization's compound was, but I also wasn't sure if they'd keep her and Youichi there. And even though I knew where it was, I wouldn't be able to get inside. They would fortify it, because they'd expect me to come. If it hadn't been for Youichi, I would have burned the whole place down long ago, but now that they were both in there, it was too risky. Not to mention the threat that Rei's death would result in the publication of all those records he boasted about.

But if I could convince them that their compound wasn't safe, they'd have to move them. That would be the time when they'd be least heavily guarded and the most vulnerable.

I left the room and pulled out my phone—I'd had to get a new one after I'd burned my old one at the safe house—and dialed my contact's number. Somehow, the lucky son of a bitch hadn't been busted after he helped me get Mikan out of there.

"Hello?" he answered groggily.

"Mikan left the school."

He was immediately alert. "What? Why?"

"Because she thinks she needs to atone for her sins by getting Youichi back. They'll have captured her by now."

"No," he pleaded. "They know she has two alices. They'll-"

"When they get there with her, I need you to tell me exactly where they're being kept."

"I'll get her out," he volunteered. "Screw the mission."

"You won't get ten feet with her before they kill you. I will get her out. You need to tell me exactly where she and Youichi are being kept, and then I'm going to set the place on fire. They'll have to move them. If those goddamn records are in there, they'll burn, too."

"They aren't in here," he said confidently. "But I'm close. I'll know where they are soon." He paused. "Hurry. She doesn't deserve this."

I ended the call just as Reo strode into the office.

* * *

 **MIKAN**

I wasn't sure if the headache was from the fact that I'd had a hefty amount of alcohol a few short hours ago, or if it was because of the giant metal contraption strapped to my head. There was a big, ugly fluorescent light on the ceiling, which I considered the first piece of good news, because it meant I wasn't in a dark cell. The second piece of good news was that I was still wearing all of my clothes, including my boots. And I guess the fact that I was alive could be considered good news, too.

The room was empty of people, but it had a lot of weird machines that looked like machines you'd find in a hospital. Fortunately, the only one I seemed to be hooked up to was the one that the metal thing on my head was attached to. On the down side, I was strapped pretty securely to the table I was on.

I closed my eyes and recalled the events that had brought me here. They were a little foggy. I remembered Natsume, of course, and the night we'd spent together. The memory would have made me blush if I didn't have other pressing issues to deal with. Like the fact that I was 99% sure it was greasy Reo Mouri that had knocked me out.

All in all, my poorly planned plan had not worked. And now I was super screwed, and so was Youichi.

God, Natsume was going to be so pissed.

What I wouldn't give to just go back in time and lay there in that bed with him forever. It had been the perfect night. And I truly believed him when he said I wasn't a conquest. He had given me more than one opportunity to change my mind, but in that moment, I had known exactly what I wanted.

What I still wanted. What I wouldn't ever get again.

I jiggled my wrists, but they were held securely by leather restraints. They weren't tight enough that I couldn't move them, but I was pretty sure they only way I was pulling them out was if I lost a bunch of flesh.

Sighing, I studied the room. I assumed we were still underground, which probably meant I was back at the same compound I'd been at before, which meant there was one door in this room and no windows. Even if I could get out of the restraints, the door was probably locked.

That assumption was confirmed when I heard a key turning in a lock and the door swung open. Maybe I should have felt fear at seeing Rei, flanked by Baldy, but I just felt white-hot _rage_. I wanted to kill him.

"It's been so long, Mikan," he said with a sick smile. "I take it you missed us?"

"Hardly," I bit out. "Have you noticed I have a hidden talent for getting kidnapped?"

He approached the bed, and I was helpless as he placed his hand on my leg, above my knee. Somewhere a grown man should not be touching a seventeen-year-old. "Are you sure? It seems to me like you _wanted_ to get captured."

"Well, I guess it was _kind_ of part of the plan," I decided. "But I was supposed to get you to let Youichi go first. I'm confident it would have worked if you hadn't cheated by having Reo working for you. Good one, by the way. I only sort of saw that one coming." When he raised his eyebrow, I added, "That slicked back hair just _screams_ 'I'm the bad guy.'"

"Once again, you're surprising me with your humour."

"Just trying to keep things interesting." I jiggled my wrists again. "I thought we might be past forceful confinement."

"We're not taking any chances with you this time. Not after what we've deduced about your alices. Have they told you, Mikan? That you have two alices?"

"Obviously someone told me. I wouldn't have decided to try to negotiate a trade using myself as a bargaining chip if I didn't know. Guess what else I know? That Youichi is your son, and Natsume is also your son, and that if there was an award for Worst Dad on the Planet, you would have that in the bag."

Rei's slimy smile remained in place but his eyes darkened a fraction. "Natsume had the opportunity to work alongside me."

"If by 'opportunity' you mean 'was forced by the bald guy standing beside you', then yes, he had the opportunity to work alongside you." I followed him with my eyes as he skirted to the other side of the table, where the machine I was attached to was. "Natsume's twice the man you'll ever be."

Another body entered the room. It was Daichi, and I was honestly surprised to see him. Rei must be pretty dumb to not have figured out that Daichi had helped Natsume get into the compound. By the looks of it, he'd actually moved Daichi up the ranks to be his left-hand man.

Daichi did not look at me, but closed the door behind him and stayed there, as if standing guard.

"Why are you here, Mikan?" Rei was saying, unreactive to the new person in the room. "Why did you try to trade yourself for Youichi, after all the trouble Natsume went through to save you?"

I pinched my lips together, unsure if I should answer. Answering honestly would mean admitting that I had a super soft spot for his oldest son. "It seemed like the logical course of action," I decided on.

"Logical, how?"

"As in, Youichi and Natsume have each other, and their mother, and their whole lives, and I don't really have much left. It just seemed like the least amount of loss, you know?"

"That's noble of you."

"I like to think so."

"Too bad it didn't work."

I heaved a dramatic sigh. "Too bad, indeed. Now Natsume's probably going to go on a murder spree. I'll apologize ahead of time for that." I turned my eyes up, trying to get a look at what was on my head. "What is this?"

"Just a little technique we're hoping will help us to determine why _you_ have two alices." He pressed some buttons on the machine, his smile growing when I flinched. "Nothing painful. Not yet at least." He looked towards the door. "Daichi, I need you to fetch Kentaro. I'd like to see what Mikan knows about how Natsume got in here."

I resisted the urge to look in alarm to Daichi. Instead, I casually glanced over, but he didn't seem concerned. He nodded once and departed. I, on the other hand, began to sweat. They would bust Daichi, and then what? Would Natsume ever be able to get in and get Youichi? Had I royally screwed up?

Baldy and Rei were silent as they waited. I was also silent, and I think they were relieved. The man I assumed was Kentaro returned in a couple of moments, without Daichi. Maybe he'd make a run for it…it was probably the smart thing to do.

Kentaro was a massive man. Positively massive. He towered into the air and his shoulders were so broad, he barely fit through the door. He did not have a friendly expression, either.

"Kentaro, this is Mikan. Mikan, Kentaro." Rei looked at Kentaro. "She escaped, not long ago, with the help of my oldest son. I want to know what she knows about how he got in. I want to know who they have working for them."

"Maybe it's Reo," I offered. "He totally seems like the type to double-cross."

Kentaro stood over me. While I was still ogling at how big he was, he removed the contraption on my head and placed his meaty fingers on my scalp.

The feeling that followed was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It was like worms were eating their way through my skull and into my brain, where they slithered through my nervous system, sifting through my thoughts and even forcing my body to spasm involuntarily.

I could _feel_ the memories he was finding, because they flashed behind my eyes. I was looking into a backpack that had a gun on top, then I was feeling the heat as my house blew up behind me, feeling the grief tear through me like a dull knife. Why was he going so far back? This part couldn't be relevant.

He continued to sift—or the worms did—through the memories I'd made over the past few months. The nightclub, Gary, Luna and her bitchy attitude. Sumire and Anna, making my heart hurt from missing them. Hotaru, with her knowing, icy stare. Daichi telling me about the Eagle and the Arrow. And then there was, of course, Natsume. Him threatening to break my neck, him throwing me to the ground time after time in pointless combat classes. His smile when I tried to take a drag from his cigarette. His arms around me when he'd found me here. The Mini Eggs. The alcohol that I took from his hands. His warm hands on my bare skin, his lips on mine.

I felt violated, which made me feel angry. The resulting mental shove I gave was apparently more than mental, because Kentaro stumbled back a few steps. When his fingers left my skull, the worms left, too.

"Goddammit," I snapped. "That was _so_ invasive."

"Well?" Rei inquired.

He looked kind of pale. Definitely shocked. "I didn't see anything about how he got in," Kentaro said. "But I can tell you why she's here now."

"Don't," I growled, although I was wondering why he had lied. I'd seen the memory of Daichi—Kentaro must have seen it too.

He didn't listen, obviously. "She's in love with Natsume."

The room got quiet again. Rei had raised his eyebrow. Kentaro still looked pretty winded.

"Okay, _love_ is a strong word," I objected. "I, like, tolerate him. And I'll admit that he's good looking. But definitely don't _love_ him."

"I could feel it," Kentaro said to Rei as if I hadn't even spoken.

"Okay, that's creepy."

"She slept with him." He continued to look and sound like he'd seen a ghost. If I could have slapped him, I would have.

Rei's lips turned up. "I always knew he'd be popular with the ladies."

"Okay, ignoring how creepy it is that you just said that, I figured it would be the last time I saw him," I said defensively. "I had to take advantage of that. But now it's going to be awkward because my plan didn't work so I'm going to have to get Youichi out of here myself which means I'm going to have to see him again. Wait, can you looking into my memories mean you were in possession of child porn? I'm only 17."

"You won't be leaving again, Mikan," Rei assured me. "I've got big plans for you." He motioned to Kentaro, who refused to look me in the eye as he placed the metal contraption back on my head. "But I'll make sure to send Natsume your love."

"I'm not in love with him!" I called after them, but they slammed the door shut, leaving me alone in the room in silence. I huffed a sigh and tried to relax on the hard bed. I had to get Youichi out before Natsume decided to come busting in and come to our rescue, otherwise he'd end up dead and I'd be responsible for that, too.

* * *

I had dozed off at some point, which was a challenging feat when the lights were piercing my closed eyelids and my body was so stiff from not moving that I wasn't sure I'd be able to move if someone miraculously came in and unbuckled me from the restraints.

Distantly, I heard the lock slide and the door creak open, but I elected to pretend to be asleep. Maybe then they'd leave me alone.

Someone sighed. "What have you done?"

I opened one eye, wincing against the bright light. Daichi was back, and he looked exasperated. "I figured you would have made a run for it," I mumbled, closing my eye again.

"Why?"

"I thought they'd find out you helped Natsume. I don't know how they didn't. That guy definitely saw the memory. Whose side is he on?"

"It's hard to explain," he replied. "After the risk I took to my position, my life, and my cause to get you out of here, I can't say I'm thrilled that you're back."

"I had to get Youichi."

"I was going to help Natsume get Youichi."

"Before Rei uses him as a weapon?" I turned my stiff neck to look at him. "I had a plan, okay? I'm fairly certain it would have worked, but apparently the head of protector services at the school is one of the bad guys." I tried to sit up abruptly when realization dawned on me, forgetting about the restraints. "You have to tell Natsume."

"I did."

"How long has Reo been in on it?"

"Not long."

"But he knows that Natsume has a contact inside the Organization. Why hasn't he told Rei? With that compulsion alice I assume it would be easy enough to get someone to fess up."

"Reo isn't on anyone's side. He's doing what's best for him. He was offered a large sum of money to get you off the school grounds." He gave me a disapproving look. "Turned out it wasn't very difficult. Tell me, what was your plan, exactly?"

I pursed my lips, deciding whether or not I should tell him. "It involved me threatening to shoot myself if they didn't hand over Youichi."

"And then what?"

"What do you mean, and then what?"

"What were you going to do after they gave up Youichi and took you?"

I fell silent. "To be honest, I hadn't really given that part much thought."

He sighed again, bowing his head slightly as if he were tired of my antics. "Don't you remember the story of the Sick Lion?"

My heart started. I narrowed my eyes at him. He held my stare. "Did you know my dad?"

"I took your dad's place when he was…dispatched. He talked about you a lot."

"I thought he kept me a secret from the Organization. Just in case."

"He did, from the Organization. Not from me. Do you know the story?"

"Yes. It's my favorite. _Affairs are easier of entrance than of exit, and it is of common prudence to see your way out before you venture in_." I considered this. "Yes, I should have taken advice from the smart little fox. Little late for that now. Can anyone hear this conversation? Because if they can, you're going to be in big trouble."

"No, I turned the bugs off."

"Won't they know?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have my ways."

It was my turn to sigh, mostly out of frustration. "Can you just undo the restraints and let me go?"

"If I let you go, you won't get far. And then you'll be back here and I'll be dead. And I still have a job to do."

"Get the blackmail material, you mean? You still don't know where it is? Doesn't Rei tell you anything?"

"It's not here. He's alluded to someone else possessing it, but I haven't deduced who it might be."

I snorted. "Probably Reo. That hair destined him for villainy. Why do they have this thing on my head?"

"They're monitoring your vitals. They plan to engage your alices in the morning, to see if there's anything that happens in your brain that could make the possession of two alices replicable. And then they're going to see if there's a way that _they_ can control your alices."

I nodded, since that was what I had been expecting. "Okay. Have you spoken to Natsume?"

He looked unimpressed when he said, "Yes."

I made a face. "Is he mad?"

"Livid."

I turned my eyes back to the ceiling. "I know I'm doing the right thing. Trying to, anyway. Is Youichi okay?"

"Youichi isn't in any immediate danger." By his tone, I could tell that he meant _I_ was. "I can take you to see him."

Once again, I tried to sit up abruptly. The restraints winded me. "Yes, please," I wheezed.

Daichi glanced over his shoulder once for good measure, and then started unbuckling my restraints. I wanted to run, but I didn't know where Youichi was.

Walking felt as I had anticipated it would: painful. Daichi put his hand on my arm to steady me, and I thought I saw his skin move. I chalked it up to dizziness.

We were definitely in the same compound, which I thought might be good news. Natsume may not be able to get in easily, but at least he knew where we were. If he knew where we were, he could have a plan. On the other hand, he'd had forever to plan to get Youichi out, and obviously he didn't think any of his plans would actually be successful.

Daichi led me down several hallways. He was quiet, and he always checked around corners before dragging me after him.

I eyeballed the cameras in the hallway. "What about these cameras?" I whispered.

"Disabled," he answered.

"How is that not suspicious?"

"That's not your concern." He stopped in front of a heavy door. "I'll stay out here. You have two minutes."

The door wasn't locked, which told me they didn't think that Youichi was capable of getting out on his own. But it did give me one less obstacle to get through when I got him out of here. The room was dark, so I felt around on the wall for a switch, simultaneously whispering, "Youichi?"

The light flickered on, illuminating a small room with a small bed and a small desk. There was a little boy sleepily sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes with two small fists. He blinked at me for several seconds before a look came over his face that made tears jump to my eyes.

"Mikan?" he asked in the smallest voice, as if he didn't trust his vision.

I gave him the biggest smile I could manage. "Hi, Youichi."

He was crying by the time he scrambled out of his bed and lunged at me, burying his face in my abdomen, careful to touch only my clothes—just like his brother. "I'm sorry," he blubbered into my shirt.

"Shh," I whispered, dislodging him from me so I could crouch down to his level. "Don't cry."

He wiped moisture from his cheeks, sniffling. "They said I hurt you really bad. I thought you died."

I hadn't thought of that. The last time Youichi had seen me had been when he'd used his alice on me, and then I'd disappeared. And while I felt angry at Rei for making this kid think that he had killed me, I was relieved that he didn't know his brother had rescued me and not him.

"It didn't hurt that bad," I assured him. "And it wasn't your fault. I'm going to get you out of here, okay?"

Youichi's eyes darted past my shoulder. I hadn't meant _right that second_ , but there was only Daichi and a maze of hallways between us and freedom. And then there was getting off the compound. Daichi was bigger than me, but Natsume had taught me a few key moves that I could use to get passed him…if I could remember them.

Self-preservation wanted me to do it, but the moment I glanced over my shoulder and saw Daichi standing guard over the room, I knew I couldn't. He'd helped me before, and he was helping me now. If I could get past him, and we did escape, they would find out it was him. And because of my newfound value to the Organization, I was sure his punishment would be unpleasant.

"Not yet," I whispered to Youichi. "But soon, okay? I know someone who would really like to see you."

Youichi sniffled some more and then did his best to put on a brave face. I wondered if he was channeling his older brother, because that expression sure reminded me of him.

Daichi poked his head into the room. "Time to go."

I gave Youichi's shoulders one last squeeze and then ushered him back to bed. When I closed the door behind me, I felt a heavy weight drop off my shoulders. I looked up at Daichi, confident when I said, "I'm doing the right thing."

* * *

 **NATSUME**

I sat at the conference room table across from my mother and Reo. Imai sat beside me. She'd already given me shit for letting Mikan leave. I didn't even try to defend myself, partly because she was right and partly because Imai was never wrong.

Reo was dirty. My contact had told me over our last phone call, when he'd told me that Mikan was alright, and, not to my surprise, lipping off Rei again. I'd also gotten an earful about sleeping with her, and I didn't even want to begin to think how he knew that.

But of one thing he had been certain, and that was that Reo was part of the reason Mikan's plan, however idiotic it had been, hadn't worked. Because he blindsided her, for a pretty penny, by the sounds of it.

I hadn't decided how to address the situation yet. My contact had been adamant that Reo's collusion with Rei was fairly recent, but I wanted to look into it a little bit more. If Reo was Rei's link to the school, that might have been his endgame all along. Mikan might have only been a happy accident.

I rubbed my eyelids, trying to get the image of her smiling face out of my head. That idiot.

"Have you contacted your source inside the Organization?" Reo asked.

"I no longer have a source inside the Organization." He was prying, trying to weasel information out of me.

My mother dropped her head in exasperation. "I never should have let them take her in the first place."

Imai bristled beside me. "Excuse me?"

I shot her a look that was meant to silence her, but she was too busy glaring daggers at my mother to notice. "Not now, Imai." I turned back to Reo. "If Rei figures out how to isolate her amplification alice, the school will he his first stop. If he gets that far, it'll be difficult to contain. We need to get Youichi and Legs out before he gets that far."

"What do you propose we do?" he asked. "You have the most experience with Rei and the Organization."

 _I'm sure I do_. "We don't have time to come up with a plan. I'm going in."

My mother choked on a gasp. "I beg your pardon?"

"Legs' alice is dangerous. For everyone. This is the only way to minimize the damage. After I determine where she and Youichi are being kept, I'm going to blow up the whole goddamn compound."

"What about the records?" Reo insisted. "If those get out-"

"I'm calling Rei's bluff."

"Natsume-" my mother began.

"We don't have time to come up with a better plan. If you hadn't let them get her in the first place, this wouldn't be an issue." She winced at my words, but I didn't care. She had stood by her decision, even after finding out the hell Mikan had been put through while she was with the Organization. She deserved to feel guilty.

I motioned to Imai to meet me in the hallway, leaving Reo and my mother to discuss. We were on the stairs when she said, "That's the worst plan I've ever heard. I thought you were supposed to be clever, Hyuga."

"Reo's dirty," I muttered. "I need your help."

* * *

 **MIKAN**

Daichi and I were silent as he buckled me back into the restraints. I couldn't stop seeing Youichi's tear-filled eyes, and I loathed myself for leaving him down here in the first place. But I was going to make it right.

I didn't snap out of it until I felt Daichi stick something into my boot. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's a knife," he said. "You might need it."

"Thanks."

He headed for the door, stopping short before he opened it and turning halfway back around. "I'm sorry for what they're going to put you through in the morning."

I was left alone to wonder what the morning would bring and also wonder why Daichi felt the need to apologize to me for it. I'm not sure I slept, because I'd forgotten to ask him if he could turn off the light and with one of the light fixtures hanging right over my head, it felt like I was staring straight at the sun.

Regardless, morning did eventually come. Unfortunately. And with morning came Rei, Baldy, Daichi, and another man I didn't recognize.

"Do I get breakfast in bed?" I asked when they strode in. "Do you take requests?"

"You'll get breakfast after we're done here," Rei said mildly.

"Does 'done here' mean I'm going to end up dead or severely brain damaged?" When I was just met with an unamused stare, I continued, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming you guys want to use my inconvenient alice to do some shady stuff, like use Baldy's alice on a large group of people, so I'd be no good to you dead. That being said, I'm just giving you fair warning that my alice is completely out of control and you might accidentally kill me. So proceed at your own risk."

"You like to think you have it all figured out, don't you?" Rei muttered.

"I openly invited you to correct me if I was wrong."

"Kenji." Rei motioned to the man I didn't recognize. For the first time, I realized that I had not actually seen a woman down here. The man moved to stand beside me, looking especially stoic. "Don't worry, Mikan. Kenji's alice is non-lethal."

"Non-lethal is still lethal when you're me," I insisted. "But hey, you do your thing."

Kenji's alice really was non-lethal, and I couldn't really see a scenario in which it could be lethal. But that wasn't what they were testing.

At first, nothing happened when Kenji touched my arm. I assumed that was my darling immunity alice in action, considering I was working really hard at staying calm. I began to drum my fingers on the table, but Rei didn't seem concerned. He was watching the screen on the machine I was hooked up to.

"Interesting," Rei said. "Maybe I need to bring Youichi up here. He seemed to have a more measurable affect on you."

I knew what he was doing, but even though I knew, it still worked. My pulse jumped, and in that instance of annoyance and concern for Youichi, my body became made of cement. I was immobile, meaning I couldn't move my mouth to cuss out Rei. The feeling of having no control over my body also made it impossible to calm down, because it was scary.

Rei's eyes never left the screen on the machine when he motioned for Baldy to step up to my other side. Baldy looked pretty nervous, but he touched my other arm because the punishment of not listening to Rei was probably worse. To my dismay, which didn't translate to my face because I couldn't move my face, Baldy became stone, too.

Rei glanced over, surveyed Baldy, and then raised his eyebrows at Kenji. Kenji took his arm off of mine, and both Baldy and I jerked back to life.

"Mikan, Mikan, Mikan." Rei's voice was full of admiration. And he sounded victorious. "You are a remarkable young lady." As he said it, he placed his hand on my thigh, like he had the day before. Too high.

"Do I have to remind you that I'm a minor?" I growled.

He dug his fingers into my leg and leaned over me. He would smell evil, if evil had a smell. "My son has good taste."

"You're a goddamn creep."

"Does her alice only amplify through contact?" Daichi piped up. I knew why he was doing it—he was trying to get Rei away from me, too.

"I've seen it work without contact," Rei answered, backing away from me and folding his arms over his chest. "I would like to test its limits."

"Can I have something to eat first?"

For a moment, he looked exasperated, like he wondered when I'd ever shut up. But after a moment of silence, he waved his hand at Baldy. "Make sure she gets something to eat. We'll come back in an hour and try again."

Their idea of food was a small bowl of porridge that was almost impossible to eat because they didn't unstrap me. Daichi was the one that fed me, which was nice because at least it gave us time to chat. Well, gave me time to vent because I assumed whatever microphones he'd disabled the night before were probably back on.

"I've never wanted to kill someone as much as I want to kill Rei," I mumbled around a mouthful of slimy porridge. "Not even my ex-boyfriend that cheated on me…that dirtbag."

"Aren't you afraid?" Daichi asked.

"Terrified."

"You're not acting like it."

"I know. Did you see how annoyed Rei was getting with me?" I snickered. "I'm not giving that man the pleasure of knowing he scares me."

The hour I was given before the rest of the crew came back felt like minutes. Kenji wasn't with them when they returned, but they had four other people in tow. And lo-and-behold, one was a woman! Amazing.

"What's it like working in a male-dominated environment?" I asked when the door had shut. "Do you find yourself being given equal opportunities? Are you paid the same?"

"Ignore her," Rei ordered. "Mikan, I'd like to talk to you a bit about Natsume."

I clenched my jaw. That Kentaro guy had given him the information he needed to know how to press my buttons. He was trying to get me riled up. And I figured, based on the crowd in the room, that it was Baldy's alice that he was testing. Because that was the whole point of this. I guess they'd liked the results from the last test.

"What is your plan, exactly?" I asked. "Like your endgame. Who are you trying to use the compulsion alice on?"

"For starters, your school." He said it so simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And it made me angry. The heart rate indicator on the machine jumped up, and Rei nodded at Baldy.

"Sit down," Baldy said to me.

I felt a small twinge in my chest and then watched out of the corner of my eye as one of the four other people in the room sat down on the floor. The one closest to me. Yet I still had no inclination to listen, which I found odd. It was like my body was just a vessel for his alice. Which _was_ what Natsume had said, but I didn't know why the other guy's alice had worked on me as well as Baldy, whereas this one was only working through me.

Rei was grinning. Manically. It would have been the appropriate expression if he was sitting in a big arm chair stroking a cat in front of a roaring fire. "Very good, Mikan."

"Did you know you gave me PTSD last time I was here?" I wondered. "I mean, I already had it, but it got worse."

He ignored me. "I really do want to talk about Natsume, Mikan. About how you're in love with him."

"I told you, I'm not in love with him." _Stay calm. Control your breathing._ "He threatened to break my neck when I first met him."

"His brother thinks he abandoned him."

I couldn't control the knee-jerk reaction of feeling guilty and angry and sad all at once. I barely heard Baldy's command, but I saw three of the people in the room, including Daichi, leap into the air.

Rei was bluffing. He didn't know that I'd seen Youichi and that Youichi had told me that he thought I was dead. Dead, not rescued by his brother. As soon as I remembered this, I was able to regain my composure.

"You wanted to know what my plan was, right?" Rei continued. "First, I'm going to go to your school. You're going to come with me. I'll have an entire army of people at my beck and call. And it doesn't matter if they don't agree with me, because with your alice and Kyo's alice, they'll do what I want. We'll start with taking over the country, but I do intend to escalate to world domination. Too bad your dad couldn't stop me when he was alive."

I thought of Sumire and Anna and felt my throat close. But also the thought of Rei aiming for world domination made me want to laugh—it sounded like a line from a cheesy movie.

"After that, we'll get rid of all the dissenters. You'll come in handy for that, too. Youichi's alice, combined with yours, can do a lot of damage. But the best part will come when I finally reunite Natsume and Youichi. Natsume has caused me so much trouble. He has to go. So you are going to help me, and Youichi is going to kill his brother. The damage that Youichi's alice was able to do to _you_ in such a short time was remarkable. We'll use it to our advantage on Natsume."

I saw red. I thrashed against the restraints, wanting nothing more than to wrap my fingers around his throat. Over my thrashing, I barely heard Baldy say, "Put your hands on the floor."

The room fell silent. I stopped thrashing long enough to look around. Every single person in the room had their hands on the floor. Including Rei.

I barked a laugh. "Look out, Rei. If you can use me, so can your little henchman. Looks like you're not immune to him after all."

Rei was furious as he straightened. He started to storm from the room, but he opened the door just as someone had been about to knock on it from the outside. He stopped short.

The man on the other side of the door dropped his gaze. I didn't blame him; Rei looked frickin' scary. "We just got word from Reo. Natsume is going to try and breach the compound again."

Daichi cast a glance at me, but I tried to contain my horror. After everyone had left the room, I yelled, as loud as I could, at no one in particular, "Natsume, you _stupid idiot!_ "

* * *

A/N: I'm glad you guys seemed to enjoy the last chapter! I honestly was a little nervous because I'm not really sure the age range of my reader base for this story so I was a _little_ worried about backlash over the sex scene, but it looks like it was taken well! I made it vague on purpose for that reason haha

Can't believe this story is nearing its end! But buckle up, because it's not over yet! Love, love, LOVE the feedback too :)

Also, I haven't written the epilogue yet, so if there's anything you guys are hoping to see in the epilogue, let me know!


	16. Hopeless

I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Because you know the truth hurts,  
_ _But secrets kill_

-Hopeless  
Halsey

I was left alone for a long time. In that time, my rage led to me desperately trying to escape the restraints. I scraped some of my skin on my hands off, and I might have dislocated my wrist, and all for naught, because the restraints were too tight.

The only time I stopped struggling was when I heard a weird mechanical sound coming from the small vent on the roof. I frowned as two metal leg looking things popped through the grate, and then watched in bewilderment as a tiny mechanical bug thing dropped down from the ceiling. It skittered across the floor and up the leg of the table until it was sitting on my chest.

It was kind of freaky. It looked like a beetle, but it was obviously a machine of some sort. But it had six legs and glowing red eyes. It stared at me for a second, tilted its head, and then scrambled off the table and disappeared under the small crack under the door, leaving me to wonder if I was seeing things.

I could hear commotion outside the room, even through the thick metal door. The thought of Natsume trying to break into the Organization again, especially now that they knew what his plan was, made me sick. I had convinced myself that I would lose a hand getting out of these restraints before I let that happen.

Apparently, though, Rei hadn't forgotten about his plan to have Youichi kill his brother. Baldy was the one that came to fetch me.

"Don't move," he said venomously as he undid the restraints.

I didn't know if he was dumb, or too cocky, but the fact that he still thought his alice worked on me was appalling. As soon as my legs were free, I kicked him.

He stumbled back a few steps, and then lunged at me. He ended up on top of me on the table, his legs pinning down my legs, and because he was a man, and much stronger than me, there wasn't much I could do. Except spit in his face.

"Careful, little girl," he growled in my ear, one hand pressed against my mouth so hard that I couldn't move my head at all. "There's nobody around to help you. There aren't a lot of women down here, and I know that any woman Natsume has had must be good."

I felt my skin crawl at his insinuation, because he was right. If he decided to go that route, he would win.

He carefully removed his hand from my mouth, waiting to see if I would try anything. When I didn't, he sat back, straddling my hips, and began to undo the restraints across my chest. He wasn't careful about where his hands were going, either. I glared at him the whole time, wishing I could rip that grin off his smug little face.

He freed my wrists next, but I didn't try to fight him. I wasn't going to call his bluff, mostly because I didn't believe he was bluffing. He took both of my wrists in one of his and pulled a zip tie out of his back pocket, securing my wrists together so tightly that I thought he might've actually cut off blood flow.

Then he pinned my bound hands above my head. "You look good, all tied up."

I bucked my hips, trying to knock him off balance, but he just put all his weight down on me. Before I had a chance to scream, though, the door was flying open, and Baldy was falling off of me.

"What the fuck!" Baldy shrieked, scrambling to his feet.

Daichi grabbed hold of my arm before I could make a run for it. "If you hurt her, Rei will be pissed."

"It could be our little secret," Baldy said with a slimy grin.

Daichi clenched his hand, the one that was on my arm, and it hurt. He recovered himself quickly though. "We're moving them into the bunker."

As soon as the words left his mouth, there was a loud bang and the ground shook. I lost my balance, falling against Daichi. The lights flickered.

"What was that?" Baldy demanded.

"Sounds like it came from below us. Where the bunker is." His phone started ringing. He didn't even say anything when he answered, and I wondered for a second if it was Natsume. "Got it," he said into the phone, and then dragged me for the door. "Looks like you will see the light of day again."

"What?"

"The structural integrity of this compound is under fire right now," he explained. "That was a bomb that just went off."

"What about Youichi?"

Instead of answering, Daichi just dragged me down the hallway. Youichi's door was open, and he was poking his head out, eyes full of fear as people ran up and down the hallway. He was briefly relieved when he saw me, until he saw my hands were bound and I was being dragged around like a rag doll. Or maybe it was Baldy, who was trailing behind us, that scared him.

"Walk," Baldy ordered Youichi. "This way."

Youichi obediently marched after us. I was able to jerk free from Daichi long enough to grab Youichi's wrist and force him to latch onto the back of my shirt. The brief contact with his skin made me stumble, and tears filled his eyes.

"I'm okay," I assured him.

We ended up in a familiar parking garage just as we heard another explosion below us. Some of the ceiling above us crumbled. If Natsume was blowing things up, I wanted to know what he expected to happen to us.

There were two men waiting beside a big white van. Daichi literally picked me up and tossed me into the back of it. Baldy ordered Youichi to follow, and then followed it with an order to, "Behave," before binding his hands and his feet, and then the two men that had been waiting climbed into the driver and passenger seat. Before Daichi slammed the doors closed, I saw Rei and a few other people running for some of the other vehicles.

They were abandoning the Organization.

Youichi and I weren't secured to anything because there were no seats in the back of the van. I flew forward as the driver floored it, nearly crashing into the back door with my face. Youichi had dropped to the floor, his back against the back of the passenger seat, his knees pulled to his chest.

I regained my footing. The windows were blacked out, so I couldn't see anything out the side or back windows, but I could see through the front windshield. Two SUVs were in front of us, speeding through the gate. We hit a bump on the rough road, sending me flying back onto my butt.

The Organization was outside of the city. I remembered that. But we'd been able to reach the city fairly quickly. There would be no point in trying to escape now, but once we got into the city, we'd have a fighting chance.

"We've got pursuit," a voice crackled over a radio in the front seat. "Diverge."

I didn't know what that was supposed to mean until the two vehicles in front of us split into different directions, and the van split off in another direction.

I dropped to the floor of the van on my hands and knees, grabbing Youichi's attention. "We're going to get out of here."

Youichi, terrified, shook his head.

"I think Natsume did this on purpose," I explained. "To give us a chance to escape."

"I can't."

Oh, right. Baldy had used compulsion on him. 'Behave' was a pretty vague command, though.

I fell back onto my butt, my back to the front of the van so the driver and passenger couldn't see what I was doing. I slid the knife Daichi had given me out of my boot, opened it, and maneuvered it around to slice through the zip tie. I did Youichi's bonds next.

As I suspected, the doors couldn't be opened from the inside. That was inconvenient, but I could work with it. I turned the knife around in my hand and turned to Youichi. "I need you to touch that guy, okay?" I said, nodding at the man in the passenger seat.

He nodded, but the moment he tried to move in the direction of the passenger, he froze. He glanced over at me with wild fear in his eyes. Goddamn Baldy.

"It's okay. I've got this." Time to put some of Natsume's moves to work. I exhaled slowly, nodded at him, and lunged at the driver, burying the knife into his side. Then, I threw my elbow to the right, connecting with the passenger's temple. I grappled for the child-lock button on the driver's door. The vehicle swerved to the left, and I fell sideways far enough to get my hand on the button.

The driver regained control of the vehicle, and I snatched Youichi around the waist. "Tuck your chin," I told him, and then before either of us could change our mind, I threw the side door open and jumped.

My shoulder hit snow while my knees scraped against concrete. We rolled, and I did my best to use my arms as a protective barrier between Youichi and the snowy ground. Neither of us were wearing jackets. Tires screeched behind me, and I was getting us both on our feet before I'd even had to a chance to reorient myself.

"Time to run," I whispered, but as soon as I started to run, pulling him behind me, his feet became glued to the ground. The fear returned to his face.

I glanced up at the van, which had screeched to a stop and was beginning to turn around. There was another vehicle close behind, a sports car that was able to turn around more quickly. I huffed a breath and scooped Youichi up and threw him over my shoulder.

He slowed me down, but I didn't dare leave him. I could hear the van and car pursuing us, and made the executive decision to hurl down the side of an Arby's and into the residential area behind it. Once there, I found the nearest fence.

Youichi still didn't have control of his body, so I pushed him up onto the top of the fence so his legs were on one side and his top half was on the other, and then I clambered over. Once on the other side, I pulled him over.

We went through one yard, out the back into an alley, over into the next yard where we found a territorial Doberman waiting for us. I was able to push Youichi into the adjacent yard, but the dog latched onto my ankle before I could follow. Youichi, still on the fence, managed to touch my hand. I felt the distinct sensation of his ability, but so did the dog. With a yelp, it released me, and I tumbled over.

With our backs pressed against the fence, we listened. I was panting loudly from carrying a small child, and Youichi was whimpering a little. I pressed my finger to my lips.

"This way!" one of the men yelled. They were in the alley, only one fence between us, but they were one house down and couldn't hear our breathing.

A door opened. "Hey! Get out of my yard!"

"Shit," I moaned, and wound my arm around Youichi again. We ran for the front gate as the man on the balcony that had seen us shouted threats that drew the attention of our pursuers. Soon, the homeowner was shouting at the men behind us as they climbed into his yard, while we broke through the front gate.

The busy street in front of us was equal parts dangerous as it was a potential life saver. I looked both ways and then, without Youichi's consent, plunged into traffic.

The sounds of cars honking and tires screeching drowned out the shouts of Rei's men. Youichi was crying now, glued to my side as I hauled him after me. When we reached the snowy median dividing the two directions of traffic, he tried to protest.

I risked a glance over my shoulder. The men were through the yard.

More tires screeched. I whirled back around in a panic, only to nearly die of relief when I saw a black SUV screeching to a stop in front of us, with a familiar driver. Natsume jumped out, his eyes landing on me first and then dropping to Youichi.

"Natsume!" Youichi cried, releasing my hand and diving into Natsume's legs and wrapping his tiny arms around his brother, apparently free of Baldy's command. Emotion briefly overcame Natsume's face, but his demeanor snapped back into place the moment he realized we had company. He shoved Youichi behind him and drew his gun. _Swoon._

Every fiber of my being wanted to leap into his arms, to be in the safety of his embrace. Because he made me feel safe and strong and I wanted to feel both of those things at that moment. But I wasn't done.

"Get in the car," he growled at me. Yikes. I was definitely in trouble.

I only let my relief sizzle for a moment, committing the image of their reunion to memory because I'd never seen Natsume so happy. I met Natsume's gaze over Youichi's head, and for a second it was like the rest of the world didn't exist.

"Don't-" he started to say sharply, but before he could finish, I lunged back into traffic, calling, "Don't go back to the school!" over my shoulder.

"Mikan!" Youichi's small voice called after me, nearly drowned out by Natsume's much louder, much angrier, "Legs!"

Rei's men wouldn't pursue Youichi; I'd made myself the easier target. And Rei needed me for Phase 1 of his plan, and Youichi not until Phase 2. I would definitely be the higher priority.

Doors slammed shut and tires squealed, telling me that Natsume had understood my intentions. I was on my own now, with Rei's men on my heels and I was certain a whole army just a phone call away.

I skirted around a rundown strip mall and into the small alley behind it. The men were still chasing me, and I wasn't sure I could outrun them. My ankle was beginning to throb from the dog bite, and my lungs were screaming. Youichi's ability, although the contact was brief and he'd done it to help me, had lasting effects on my stamina, not to mention carrying him.

My feet were swept out from underneath me. I plummeted to the ground, horribly confused, until I felt the hand on my ankle. Coughing air back into my lungs, I turned onto my back and pulled the knife out of my pocket, stabbing it into the hand that was attached to the long arm that was attached to the man behind me. He shrieked, and his hand loosened.

Groaning, I hopped back to my feet and looked for my next best option. There were more houses on my right, the street on my left with a shopping mall on the other side. I might be able to lose them in the mall, but I also knew my appearance would draw a significant amount of attention.

I decided that the residential area would have to do and started in that direction, making it only two steps before a vehicle came to an abrupt stop on the street to my left. I watched in resignation as Rei and Baldy climbed out.

"Mikan, we know you're tired," Rei called. "If you-"

I was pretty sure he was going to say something along the lines of, "If you come with us quietly, we won't torture you," but I wouldn't get the chance to find out before gunshots were ringing through the air and Rei and Baldy were ducking behind the doors of their vehicle and I was stumbling in the direction of the houses.

Someone was gaining on me; I could hear their rapid footsteps that were so much faster than mine. Fear surged through me and I leapt for the next fence I came to, barely making it over before the person behind me was there.

Strong arms wrapped around me before I'd even had a chance to push myself back to my feet. They brought a wave of warmth to my frozen body, and I collapsed into him.

"You idiot," Natsume breathed in my ear. He gathered me close to his body, his arms a vice around me. Probably worried I would try and take off again.

"Where the hell is Youichi?"

"Jinno has him."

"Somewhere safe?"

Before he could respond, we heard Rei and Baldy coming closer. Natsume clapped his hand over my mouth at the same time that I reached up to clap my hands over his ears. Dang, I was hoping at least one of them had been taken out.

"Come out," Baldy cooed, and I nervously waited for Natsume to obey. Thankfully, my hands over his ears seemed to do the trick. "Natsume, we just want to talk."

Natsume let go of my mouth to pull his gun out. It made enough of a sound that Rei and Baldy, just a few feet away on the other side of the fence, heard. Two gunshots rang out. Natsume shoved my face into the snow, but not before pain ripped through my arm. Next, smoke was flying into my mouth and nose, suffocating me, and Natsume was grabbing me by the hand and tugging me to my feet.

My eyes were watering, obstructing my vision. I let him pull me down streets, around corners, and through alleys until my lungs were exploding and the pain in my arm had me digging my heels in to the ground to stop.

"I can't run anymore," I cried.

He reeled me into his body, securing one arm around my waist, supporting most of my weight. "Two more blocks, Legs."

I glanced down at my arm, at the blood trickling down to my fingertips, and fought a wave of nausea. "Okay."

Two more blocks felt like ten more miles, but soon, Natsume was pulling me through the doors of a small hotel that catapulted me back to the day we'd met. The lady at the desk stood up in alarm, but Natsume shook his head at her. Certain that that wouldn't stop her from calling the cops, I let him lead me down the hallway to the elevator.

The elevator doors dinged closed with just the two of us inside. He used the opportunity to turn to face me, holding me an arms length away, and give me a once over. "Have I mentioned that you're the stupidest girl I've ever met?"

"I am literally leaving a pool of blood on the floor of this elevator. Is now really the best time to scold me?"

He brushed a strand of hair off my face, his eyes so calm despite the situation that I couldn't help but let myself feel safe for a moment. "If you ever do that to me again, Rei will be the least of your worries." Before I could retort, he pulled me into his chest, muttering, "Thank you," in my ear.

I gasped dramatically, though it was smothered by his jacket. "Did you just _thank_ me? Who are you and what have you done with my asshole Prote-" He cut me off with a soft kiss that lasted probably only a couple of seconds but felt like a lifetime and left me gaping at him when he pulled away, my rubbery legs barely supporting me anymore. "What was that for? And can you do it again?"

His lips curved, but it didn't touch his eyes. "You're going to hate me soon."

Before I could begin to decipher what that meant, he was back into badass mode, pulling me into the hallway the elevator stopped on. We stopped at a room, he knocked three times, said, "It's us," and the door swung open.

I did a double take, gasped, and threw myself into the arms of the person standing there. "Gary!"

"Hey, sweetheart," he chuckled, pulling me into the room. "Looks like you're going to need that drink now." He ushered me into the bathroom, pointing Natsume in the direction of a first aid kit and helping me sit down on the edge of the bath. "You've sure got a lot of people's attention, missy."

"I didn't ask for it," I grumbled, wincing when he pried my fingers loose from my arm. "Is it bad?"

"There's a bullet in your arm," he pointed out, and then disappeared from the bathroom while Natsume scrubbed his hands in the sink. When Gary returned, he had a bottle of whiskey. "Bottoms up, sweetheart."

Alarmed, I glanced at Natsume, but he was busy rifling through the first aid kit. "You're just going to wrap it up, right?"

Gary handed me the bottle. "Gotta get the bullet out first."

"Oh, God." Blinking back tears, I took a long pull from the bottle, fighting the nausea that came with it, and then turned back to Natsume for comfort. Instead, I was just filled with more dread when I saw him holding tweezers. "Please say you're joking."

"When do I ever joke, Legs?"

"There are firsts for everything." I leaned away from him. "Don't take it out."

He sighed, set the tweezers down, and crouched down in front of me. "I don't know how long it's going to be until we can get to someone who can heal you. You don't want to give this time to do anymore damage than it already has."

I sniffled. "Why do you have to sound so reasonable?"

Natsume motioned for Gary to give me the bottle. "It's my job."

"I'll leave you kids to it," Gary muttered. "It's too crowded for three in here. You hold onto that bottle, honey." He closed the door behind him.

"Can you lift your arms?" Natsume asked when we were alone. I could, although it hurt. He eased my sweater over my head, leaving me in just a bra. It took me back to the last time I was wearing no clothes with him.

"Have you ever had a girl peace-out on you after sleeping with you before? I feel like you're the one that always does the peacing-out," I rambled, and it kept me distracted enough that I didn't notice until it was too late that he was pouring antiseptic on my arm. "Son of a bitch!"

"Hold still," he ordered, ignoring my question. While I was still reeling from the stinging pain of the antiseptic, he stuck the tweezers in my arm.

I screamed, and had it not been for his viselike grip on my arm, I probably would have thrashed. I sufficed instead with calling him every nasty name I could think of while I sobbed.

"I'm done, you big baby."

Surprised, I looked down at my arm to see it already cleaned and wrapped up. The bloody bullet was on the counter. "Did I pass out?"

"No. If we can get back to the school, Anna can-"

I shot to me feet, horrified that I'd forgotten. "Rei is going to attack the school! He's going to grab anybody who's valuable! He's building an army. We have to-"

His arms came around me, and while I was still wondering what had changed to make him so comforting, part of my alarm melted away. "I know. I've passed the information along. Right now, you need to rest."

"I can't rest. I-"

"Rei doesn't have you, and he was relying on you to be able to help Kyo compel a group of people. It won't work if he doesn't have you. Please, Legs, just rest."

"But Reo-"

"He's being taken care of." He helped me back into my shirt before he grabbed me gently by the shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "What were you trying to do?"

I pinched my lips together, fighting the wave of emotion. "I was trying to get your brother back. It didn't really go the way I planned."

"Why?"

"Because Reo threw me a curveball."

"Why did you do it in the first place?" he rephrased.

I shrugged my shoulder, wishing I did not have to have this conversation with him at this exact second. Or ever. "I felt responsible. I screwed up your chance of getting him out the first time. And I figured it was the most logical trade. Youichi has you and your mom and I have-"

"Anna, Sumire, Imai…me," he finished for me.

"It's not the same," I insisted. It struck me then. "You were scared."

"What did you expect? It was stupid of you."

"Would you still have been scared if it had worked? If I'd gotten Youichi back?"

His forehead crinkled in a slight frown. "Did you really think I would stop looking for you just because my brother was safe?"

I huffed a frustrated sigh. "If I'm being 100% honest, I didn't really give my plan much thought past the 'get Youichi back' part."

"Obviously." He paused. "Are we going to talk about the night you left?"

I felt heat crawl up my neck at an alarming rate. "You know what? I'm suddenly feeling quite tired."

He blocked my exit with his body.

"We really don't have to talk about it," I said, waving my good hand dismissively. "You do stuff like that all the time."

"I haven't…lately. And you don't."

I tried slipping past him once more, and when he only blocked me again, I sighed. "No, I don't do that type of thing. I have a five-date rule. But I thought I was never going to see you again and I like you so I wanted to, okay? Good enough? Let me past. I'm embarrassed."

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just stepped aside and I pretty much dove out of the bathroom. My face was red; I could feel it.

"We need to get her to a safe house," Gary said to Natsume as if I wasn't even in the room.

"That's only a temporary solution," I butted in, grateful for the subject change. "We need to take down Rei."

Natsume shot me a look that communicated that there would be no 'we'. "I'll kill Rei myself. You'll go to a safe house with Youichi in the meantime."

"I object."

A knock on the door halted the conversation. I automatically stepped out of view of the door, while Natsume and Gary waited for several seconds in silence, until someone said, "Just me."

Daichi stood on the other side of the door when Natsume pulled it open. He looked pretty haggard, but judging by the look he gave me, I looked worse. His eyes fell on the bandage on my arm. "What happened?" he demanded, stepping into the safety of the room.

"I got shot," I announced. "But I also stabbed two people, so thanks for that knife."

Daichi glanced at Natsume, and Natsume said, "She's probably in shock."

"I am not," I objected.

"You will be in a moment," I heard Gary mutter from behind me.

I frowned at him over my shoulder and then turned back around to ask Daichi for an update on what was happening. Before I could speak though, Daichi's skin started to ripple. My frown deepened, wondering if maybe I _was_ going into shock, and then his face started to change.

I blinked for several seconds at the person that was not Daichi that now stood in front of me.

My dad smiled at me, his eyes the same blue, with the same laugh lines, with the same warmth that I remembered. "Hi, sweetie."

I promptly fainted.

* * *

A/N: All you clever buggers that figured it out from the last chapter :P I am glad though that no one seemed to catch on until the last chapter, so I must have done a decent job keeping the hints few and far enough between that no one noticed!

Enjoy!


	17. Come Alive

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I left the road behind  
_ _Making a trail beyond the lines  
_ _And now I'm following  
_ _All the footprints of the wind  
_ _Oh, oh, now I see  
_ _Shadows trying to follow me  
_ _Oh, oh, but it's alright  
_ _Their only path to find the light_

 _-_ Come Alive  
Adam K.

I came back pretty quickly. Natsume had scooped me up and was carrying me to the small bed in the room. He set me down gently. Gary had had enough time to leave and return with a can of pop, which he forced me to take a few sips of, citing that my blood sugar was probably low.

"Was I drugged?" I blabbered. "Am I actually affected by alices? Did those worms in my brain scramble some stuff?"

"No," Natsume said shortly, and his voice had changed. He sounded resigned.

I sat up on the bed, eyeballing the man that looked like my dad. He looked kind of sheepish, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Is Daichi a real person?" I asked suspiciously. My heart wanted to feel happy, but I was too skeptical. I had already accepted the fact that I would never see my father again. Dead people don't come back to life.

My dad/Daichi nodded. "He is. Or, he was."

I glanced at Natsume. "You said my dad could steal alices." When Natsume nodded, I turned back to my dad. "You stole Daichi's alice? So you could look like him? Is that what his alice was?"

"Yes."

I inhaled as slowly as possible, but it was choppy. "Oh, God." Realization set in. "Oh, my God."

Gary sidestepped past us. "I'll let you guys have a minute," he muttered before leaving the room.

"Legs-" Natsume started, but I shot him a glare before I rolled off the bed to stand in front of my dad.

First, just to be sure, I reached out and poked his chest. He seemed real enough. Which brought a whole other problem to my attention. The room was deafeningly quiet for three seconds as the pieces settled into place.

"You let me think you _died_?" I nearly shouted. "You let me think _I_ killed you?"

He tried to grab me by the shoulders, to steady me, but I slapped his hands away. His own shoulders sagged a bit. "Honey, it was the only way I could eliminate the Organization. To let them think I was dead, impersonate another one of their members, and work my way back up the ranks. It was the best option for the long run."

"Why couldn't you tell me?" I demanded.

"It was safer for you," he said quickly. "The less you knew, the better. And if they got a hold of you and you knew, there was a chance they would find out and it would be over."

I barked a laugh. "If they got a hold of me," I repeated. "So if they got a hold of me—which they did—your position in the Organization was more important than getting your daughter out of there? You were _there_ when they _tortured_ me."

He flinched, so I knew I hit a nerve. "I felt it was the best course of action for the long run."

My heart broke. Shattered. My dad had been my only lifeline since my mom passed away when I was a kid. We had been a team. And hearing him talk to me now like I was just a pawn in a game I wanted no part of made me feel hollow.

"Your strategic advantage was more important than my life? I'm your _daughter_. Isn't that supposed to mean something?"

"I wouldn't have let them take it too far."

"They _did_ take it too far!" I shouted. "They _tortured_ me. What part of that don't you understand? You saw it. They starved me. They hurt me. They tried to _break_ me. And you were right there. You could have stopped them."

"Mikan-"

I turned my back on him so I could see Natsume, rage burning a hole through my chest. "You were in on this, too? _You_ let me think I killed him? You son of a bitch." I lunged forward, shoving him with all my strength. Because I was reduced to the use of only one arm, he didn't even budge. His eyes never leaving me, he let me push him again, only falling back a step, while I called him every name I could think of. "You asshole. You liar. You _stupid asshole._ I thought I was supposed to trust you." He didn't try to defend himself, didn't point out that he had been letting me think that _he_ killed my dad before I found out on my own.

With a frustrated huff of breath, I recovered myself. I pushed my hands through my hair, trying to round up the thoughts that were flying at me from every direction. The way Daichi had avoided looking at me when I first ended up in the Organization. Natsume talking angrily on the phone when I'd thought I'd been responsible for my dad's death. Daichi telling me about the Eagle and the Arrow and the Sick Lion. Natsume hadn't told him to pass on the message of the Eagle and the Arrow, which was why he had looked confused when I'd brought it up. Little pieces that hadn't made sense at the time that suddenly did.

"Why didn't you just kill Rei?" I asked, turning back to my dad. "You were right there. You had access to him. You had a gun."

"If Rei dies, that information gets out," he replied, trying his best to take on the diplomatic dad-voice.

"Natsume was willing to kill him," I pointed out. He'd tried to fry them to a crisp when I'd gotten shot.

"I am a government agent, Mikan. I have a responsibility to my country."

"You have a responsibility to your daughter," I bit out venomously. "To be a decent father. Since when does your country come above your own family?"

He stared at me for a long few seconds, which was all I needed to realize he didn't have an answer to that.

"Do you have any idea what it's been like for me?"

His eyes glassed over. He glanced briefly behind me to Natsume before he nodded. "I know it was hard for you. And I'm so, so sorry for it. I wanted to keep you safe. Especially after Natsume found out about your alice; I thought you might have one, but I wasn't sure. I gave you nightmares with the hope that if you did have an alice, your fatigue would keep it hidden. But-"

"You gave me nightmares?" I whispered.

I remembered Natsume's face as he sat beside the hospital bed, the expression of annoyance when I described the creature from my nightmares that Koko had projected. It was after that that the vivid nightmares were replaced by normal nightmares. Because Natsume had told my dad that his plan had backfired.

"For fuck's sake." I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. "I don't even remember what it's like to have a normal sleep. How did you do it?"

"Another member of the Organization has an alice that let's you plant thoughts in another's mind. Usually, you need to be in close contact. But because you're my daughter, we had a strong connection that I was able to tap into. Every night, I would steal his alice and send you nightmares. I thought it would help keep you hidden. I didn't know that Rei knew about your alice right from the beginning, when Kyo's compulsion didn't work on you. At that point I hadn't moved far enough up the ranks to be let in on that information. "

For a long time, I was silent. Betrayed. I thought of every panic attack, every tear, every meltdown that had worn me to the bone, that had left me the shell of the person I used to be. And it had all been for nothing.

"'Hard' isn't the right word," I eventually said quietly. "It was more than hard." I turned back to Natsume. The anger had left me; I just felt broken now. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

An expression crossed his face that was both guilt and regret.

"Don't blame Natsume," my dad said from behind me. "He wanted to tell you right from the start. I wouldn't let him, even when he told me how hard it was for you. How you were prone to panic attacks and how you'd been diagnosed with PTSD and how you sometimes barely ate. I know you think I have failed you as a father, Mikan, but Natsume always had your back. I threatened him. I told him I wouldn't help him get Youichi if he told you."

I remembered Natsume punching Daichi in the face when we'd escaped from the Organization. I wondered if that was why. Numbly, I backed up until my legs hit the bed, and then I collapsed onto the mattress.

"Were you Kentaro, too?" I asked.

My dad glanced at Natsume again—it was a 'we need to talk' kind of look—before nodding at me again.

"Great," I grumbled, realizing that that meant my dad had gotten a glimpse into my sex life. It would explain why Kentaro had looked so ghostly. I looked at Natsume. "I thought you said having more than one alice was unheard of. But he changed his face and used the worm-thing to look at my memories. That's two, isn't it? Plus his actual alice. Which is three."

"My alice is the stealing alice; that's it," my dad explained. "But it allows me to use more than one alice that I've stolen. Kind of like how your amplification alice works. You're essentially borrowing the alices that you amplify. I haven't been able to use more than two, and it only works with weaker alices. I wouldn't be able to steal Natsume's, for example. I couldn't steal Kyo's, either. If I steal an alice and the person I stole it from happens to die, then I have access to it for as long as I want. Any other alice, especially when I've already stolen one, is extremely temporary and unreliable."

"What about if you used me?"

"How?" my dad asked, at the same time that Natsume said, "No."

"My alice amplified Kyo's alice enough that it worked on Rei," I explained to Natsume. "If I could amplify the stealing alice, you could take Kyo's alice and use it on him, couldn't you? He'd know where those stupid records that were more important than me are being kept."

"I'm not sure how we'll get Kyo alone," my dad said, flinching. "They'll be on their way to the school soon. They expect you to end up back there."

"She's not using her alice," Natsume snapped. "I told you how it's affected her."

"The decision should be hers," my dad argued.

"Her decisions get her caught by Rei."

I flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling while they argued. What a rollercoaster. I wasn't even sure what I should be feeling. Happy? Angry? Betrayed? Hurt? A little bit of everything?

Where would someone like Rei keep important records? He was cocky. He thought he was untouchable.

"Is Youichi somewhere safe?" I asked suddenly. "Like, really safe? Jinno isn't going to turn out to be on the wrong side, too, is he?"

"Youichi is safe," Natsume said to me before resuming arguing with my dad.

"How certain are you that your mom is the one that allowed the Organization to get me in the first place?" I interrupted again.

"She admitted it."

"How certain are you that it was her idea?" Both pairs of eyes swung to me. I propped myself up on my good elbow. When Natsume didn't answer, I pursed my lips. "Would you consider Reo a religious man?"

"No," Natsume answered.

I stood up. "I'd like someone to take me back to the school, please."

"Absolutely not," my dad said sternly. "That's where they expect you to go."

"You don't get to boss me around. You forfeited your parental rights when you faked your death. If they're going to the school, so am I. Kyo might not be able to use his alice on a mass scale without me, but he can still use it. And Rei wants an army of alice users. I'm willing to bet Reo has made a list of the useful ones."

"The school is on lockdown," Natsume said. "They won't get in."

"How sure are you?" I challenged. When he didn't answer, I added, "I have a hunch. If I'm right, you can both get what you want."

"Give us a minute," Natsume said to my dad.

My dad looked uncertainly between us and then motioned to the door. "I'll be right outside."

Silence enveloped the room. It felt heavy, like a wet blanket over my head. I stared at my toes, trying to decide how I felt. I sat back down on the bed.

"You can scream at me," Natsume prompted. "If it will make you feel better."

I offered him a half-smile that I didn't feel. "You were right there, Natsume. You saw what my dad's death did to me. How it wore me down. And if you'd just _told_ me, you could have saved me from it."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Did he really threaten not to save Youichi?" After a long second of hesitance, he nodded. "I thought you said he was a good man."

"He thought he was doing the right thing."

"I want to be mad at you because you didn't tell me," I said. "And because I'm so _drained_ and it was all for nothing. But I can't because that was his fault, too. And you did your best to protect me. And comfort me. You _tried_."

He sat next to me at the foot of the bed, several inches of space between us. "I'm sorry."

I sniffled, looking up at him, trying to blink the moisture out of my eyes. "I'm really overwhelmed right now. I'm really upset with him. So upset that I can't even feel happy that he's not dead. And I'm not okay."

He gently snaked his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. He pressed his lips to the top of my head, and the warmth spread from him to me and helped to melt the ice that had started to form around my heart. I let myself pretend everything was fine and that my life hadn't just be flipped upside down _again_ for three seconds before I sat back up, wiped the tears from my cheeks with the backs of my hands, and stood. I could deal with the emotional trauma later; right now I needed to save the world.

"I don't want to take you back to the school," he admitted, standing with me.

"You don't have a choice. I'm not letting anyone else get hurt because of me. And I need Anna to fix my arm. It hurts like a bitch."

The door opened and my dad poked his head into the room. Any calm I'd felt dissipated. Natsume abruptly took his hand off my arm—it might have looked like he just didn't want to touch me in front of my dad, but I knew he didn't want to risk burning me. He seemed more in tune with my emotions than I was.

"Are you done?" my dad asked, with his dad voice again.

"We'll be out in a minute," I snapped. When the door closed again, I looked up at Natsume. "If he was Kentaro, that means he sifted through my memories. He knows we…" I trailed off, feeling the blush rise up my neck again. "You know."

"I know," he said easily. "He already chewed me out."

I tried not to snort at that mental image. Instead, I started for the door. He caught me by the hand before I could open it.

"Do not leave my side," he ordered.

I saluted him. "Yes, Protector. You're the boss."

"I mean it, Legs."

I pulled the door open. "I'm not leaving your side because I'm not letting you out of my sight." He rolled his eyes at me, and I didn't bother telling him about Rei's evil plan to use Youichi and I to kill him. But I did say, "Thanks for helping me."

"Helping you what?"

I smiled. It wasn't easy, because happy was not the emotion I was feeling, but looking at him made it easier. "Helping me make it through the days."

He started to brush past me, stopping when he was next to me so that his mouth was by my ear. "You did that on your own."

We met Gary and my dad at the end of the hallway. My dad tried to say something to me, but I elbowed my way by him and out the door, past the receptionist that looked pretty pale. At least I wasn't gushing blood anymore.

Natsume caught me by the arm before I made it two steps out the door. "By my side," he reminded me.

"You know I don't like being told what to do."

"You agreed that I'm the boss."

The sun had gone down, and the chilly night was a sudden reminder that it was winter and I didn't have a coat. The thought had barely done a full circle through my mind when a heavy leather coat was being wrapped around my shoulders. It smelled faintly of cigarettes.

I narrowed my eyes at Natsume. "Do you even have to try to be charming? Or does it just come to you naturally?"

"I could ask you the same question," was all he said before disappearing around to the driver's side of the SUV.

Gary climbed into the back with me, while my dad climbed into the passenger seat.

"Do you have an alice?" I asked Gary.

"No, honey," he said with a grin. "I worked with your dad before he…uh…went into the Organization."

"Made his daughter think he was dead, you mean." I waved my hand. "Go on."

"I've known you since you were this big." He held his hand out in front of him to demonstrate the height of a toddler. "You always had that attitude."

"I don't remember you."

Sorrow touched his expression. "Yeah, well, your dad wanted to keep his personal life and his work life separated."

Natsume kept a diligent eye on his rear-view mirrors, and I think he took an elaborate route. My dad tried to backseat drive, but Natsume silenced him with a glare. Aside from that, they didn't talk. I wasn't the only one pissed at my dad, apparently.

"Did mom have an alice?" I didn't want to talk to my dad, but he was the only one that would know the answer to that.

He met my eyes in the rear-view mirror. "She did, but she didn't know. I never told her. She had an immunity alice, like yours."

I sat back in my seat, letting that sink in. I never knew my mom—she had died from cancer when I was still a baby—but that small piece of information made it feel like I knew her a little bit.

"But you never knew I had one?"

"There was never any indication that you did. The trauma from…" He cleared his throat. "It might have activated it. Both of them."

"Oh, so that's your fault, too." I didn't bother trying not to sound bitter. "Does the fact that your alice lets you use more than one alice at one time have something to do with the fact that I have two alices?" I didn't know if that was biologically how it worked, but my dad was to blame for every other problem in my life. He may as well be to blame for this one, too.

"I don't know," he answered. "Mikan-"

"Still don't want to talk to you."

Natsume pulled the SUV off of the main road and down some side roads before he bumped over a small curb and down a narrow, tree-lined path. I could see the wall coming up in front of us. The gate was closed, and there was no one standing out front.

My dad and Natsume exchanged glances. Natsume stopped the SUV, scanning the surroundings. It felt like a horror movie, and I didn't want to look around through the shadows in fear that something was going to jump out.

Natsume pulled out his phone and dialled a couple of numbers. The vehicle was quiet enough that I was able to hear Hotaru's voice when she picked up.

"Where are the guards at the gate?" Natsume asked.

"I take it you got Mikan back okay? You're welcome, Natsume."

"Imai," he said sharply. "Where are the guards?"

"I don't know. There've been no reports from the wall. The school is still on lockdown. Reo is still being detained. Nothing has changed on our end."

He hung up the phone, threw the SUV into reverse, and backtracked out of the driveway.

"What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Something's not right."

"He's right," my dad agreed. "There should be, at minimum, three guards at the gate during a lockdown."

"Maybe they reassigned them to guard Reo?"

Natsume switched the headlights off and coasted to a stop. "No, they're here. Imai has never called me by my name."

"Hm. Wonder what that must feel like," I said sarcastically. And then the gravity of what he was saying hit me. "Wait, is she okay?"

"I don't know. They got inside, but it looks like the shield is back up. They don't want us going in."

I pursed my lips. "I can get in, though."

"No," all three men in the vehicle said at once.

"That's what they want," my dad said. "That's why the shield is up. It would force you to go in alone."

"Oh, so now you suddenly want to keep me safe?" I kicked the door open. "My friends are in there. I'll go in there whether that's what they want or not. Besides, there's miles of wall here. How are they going to know where I come in?"

"Alright, and what are you going to do when you get in?" my dad asked, coming around the front of the vehicle to meet me.

I pursed my lips. "If my hunch is right, and I can do what I need to, then Rei will be fair game." I paused. "Do they know you're not Daichi?"

"No."

"Then why can't you just call them and have them let you in? I'll go over the wall so no one sees me, and the rest of you can wait until someone opens the gate for you."

"They'll send someone out here. Or several people. They'll see Natsume and they'll start firing."

That notion made me sick to my stomach. "Okay, then Natsume and Gary can stay here."

"Or _you_ can stay here. I'll go in. It's too dangerous."

"I've been tortured before. I think I can handle it."

A look of frustration passed over his face. Like I was a toddler again and throwing a tantrum. He grabbed me by the shoulders before I could turn away. "Rei knows how powerful your alice is. You don't have to be willing for it to work—all you need to be is angry. Other alices use you as a vessel; someone uses their alice, it goes through you, and it comes out the other side ten times stronger."

"Yeah, I've gathered that much."

"Rei knows what to say to make you angry."

"Because _you_ told him that I'm-" I broke off, glancing at Natsume. He was watching me, and he raised an eyebrow at my deer-in-the-headlights expression. Calmly, I looked back at my dad. "Which is not true, by the way."

He looked skeptical. "Kyo is in there. He could have the whole school at his beck and call and all they have to do is make you angry."

"Only if they see me," I pointed out optimistically.

"I'll go with her," Natsume said.

We all turned to him, but I was the one that pointed out the flaw in his plan. "If you want the shield to kill you, then by all means, be my guest."

"You extended your nullification alice to me."

I threw my hands up in the air. "How is it that I can do all these things without even knowing it? What are you talking about?"

"When you got shot. Kyo told me to come out."

"I had my hands over your ears."

"I could still hear him. It didn't work."

I propped my hand on my hip, leaving my injured arm hanging at my side. "That could have been a fluke. And you shouldn't be willing to gamble your life on my alices. I don't even know how they work half the time. And remember when you rescued me the first time? I tried to lend you some of my alice in that stupid broom closet and it didn't work."

He pulled his gun out, checked the ammo, and then put it back into his belt. "You're not leaving my side," he reminded me, and started for the wall.

I looked to my dad for help, but he looked convinced. Rolling my eyes, I ran after him. "I might kill you."

"You're not very good at solo missions."

"I'll give you that one," I grumbled. He stopped abruptly, and I smashed into his back. He was looking up at a tree, trying to determine if it was good enough to make it to the wall from.

Gary and my dad caught up. "We'll stay out here until you guys are in," Gary said. "Then we're coming in. Rei is not making it out of here alive."

"I'm still not convinced Natsume should be trying to get in with me," I protested. He shot me a glare over his shoulder. "Okay, okay. Fine. We make sure our friends are alright, we kick some ass, and we dismantle the Organization. Sounds like a good plan to me."

Natsume had to push me up onto the first branch of the tree he chose due to my inability to pull myself up with my injured arm. I was fairly certain I felt him grope my ass on purpose, but I let it slide.

"Be careful!" my dad called from the bottom.

I looked down at him, and then over at Natsume. "Can you set his shirt on fire or something?"

He didn't look at me, but even in the dark, I saw the smile. _That_ smile. The one that did weird things to my body. The one that made me want to take my clothes off right then and there.

"Get onto this branch," he ordered me.

"Okay, bossy pants." I shuffled over to the branch he'd pointed out, keeping my injured arm folded against my body. He supported me while I stepped across a gap until I could secure myself on another branch. "I really think this is a bad idea."

He pulled himself up onto the branch next to me. "You're full of bad ideas."

I glanced at the wall, feeling my pulse quicken. "Natsume, I really don't think this a good idea. All I can picture is you getting the life zapped out of you."

"Just-"

"I swear to God, if you tell me to stay calm, I will push you out of this tree."

"Just focus," he said. "You control your alices, not your emotions." He found my hand, linking his fingers with mine, and then he leaned in so I could feel his breath on my neck. "No pressure." Before I could react, he jumped from the tree to the wall, pulling me after him. My feet hit the wall for all of two seconds before he was pulling me off and into a tree on the other side.

"You douchebag," I gasped over the sound of the alarm, clutching him with all my strength. He was standing on a thick branch, and he had one strong arm wrapped around me while my flailing feet searched for a foothold. When I found one, he released me, and I smacked his arm.

We worked our way down the tree as quickly as we could. Natsume jumped down before me and reached up to help me down.

"Okay," I said breathlessly, patting his chest.

"It would help if you told me what your hunch is."

I appreciated that he was right, but I was still worried he'd laugh in my face. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I think Reo has the records my dad is looking for." Before he had a chance to object, I rushed on, "If we entertain the idea that he was working for the Organization this whole time, or at least being paid by them, compiling a list of students that would be useful to the Organization's cause, then it makes sense that they would have hidden those records right under everyone's noses. And no one suspected Reo, not even you." I surveyed his expression, but it was mostly blank. "It's a long shot—like, a _really_ long shot—but I think the crucifix he wears around his neck is a USB drive."

He studied me carefully. In the dark of the night, it was difficult to see, but his eyes were hard to miss. After a long few seconds, he said, "Okay," and resumed walking.

"That's it? Okay? No counter points? No arguing?"

"As far as I'm concerned, we don't have a lot of options," he said. "It's worth a shot."

I grabbed his hand and forced him to stop and face me. "Natsume, you have to let me test that theory before you kill Rei. I know you're on a mission, but we don't know what kind of set up they have that will release those records when Rei dies. I'm super, _super_ mad at my dad, but he did all of this to make sure the country doesn't fall apart. I don't want the country to fall apart either."

"I'll give you a chance," he conceded. "But the minute Rei does _anything_ to try and hurt you, he's dead. Do you understand?"

My stomach fluttered at the sentiment, but my smile was forced. "Natsume, if you're in the same room as me, Kyo's going to be able to control you. My dad is right; they know how to make me mad."

"You're not doing it alone."

"But-"

He silenced me with a sharp glare. "You control your alices, Legs. Not them."

We walked in silence for a bit. I was just walking, but Natsume was looking around and studying our surroundings carefully, always prepared. The streetlights from the path offered us a bit of light, but I just blindly followed him. He always seemed to know what he was doing. I almost never knew what I was doing.

"Do _not_ say anything to Sumire about that night that I left," I said suddenly.

"Why not?"

"Why do you think, idiot? She'll cut me up into tiny pieces and feed me to the Organization herself." I didn't think she would actually do that, of course, because she was my friend. Or maybe she wouldn't be anymore if she found out. Either way, I was certain she'd be pretty pissed.

"You're going to have to tell her eventually."

"Why would I have to tell her? I can take a secret to the grave. And you're good at keeping secrets too, obviously."

"I don't want to sneak around with you, Legs."

I opened my mouth for a witty retort, but then I processed what he was saying. "Who says it's happening again? I don't want to be your fuck buddy. You have Luna for that."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't want Luna. I don't want Sumire. I want you. Just you. And I don't mean as a fuck buddy."

I stopped walking to turn and stare at him, my mouth hanging open. Catching flies, as my liar father would have said. " _Why?_ Luna and Sumire are…them! And I'm just… _me_!"

Before he could respond, voices broke out across the field. Shouting voices. Someone shouting orders to skirt the perimeter, to find the breach because they knew it was me. Natsume pulled me into the shadow of a tree, shielding me with his body.

I should have been more concerned about the very real threat of the Organization's men getting closer to us, but instead, as I stood behind Natsume, the only thing on my mind was what he had just said to me. My heart was racing, and I had a funny jittery feeling in my stomach. It might have been elation, but it was clouded by doubt.

It just didn't make any sense.

"Are you actually Natsume?" I asked, forgetting to whisper. "Oh, my God, you-"

He whirled around, pressing my back into the tree behind me. His mouth dropped to my ear. "Be quiet," he whispered.

I put my hands on his chest to push him back, but it was like trying to move a mountain. "You're not Natsume."

He huffed a quick, irritated sigh. "Really, Legs? That's the conclusion you jump to?"

The voices got closer. I had the sense to stop talking, and I think I even stopped breathing, but that could have been because of Natsume's hands on my waist and his mouth so close to my neck. Maybe I was still in shock, and maybe that was why my priorities were all screwy.

After the voices had faded, we stood in silence for at least another minute. Then Natsume pushed himself off of me and started walking again. I decided to let the subject drop and hurried after him.

"We should go to the dorm first," I said. "I don't think they'll expect us to go there."

"They might have Sumire and Anna," he replied.

"What would they need them for?" As soon as I asked the question, before he even shot me that look, I knew the answer. "Because compulsion doesn't work on me but they won't need it if they have my roommates."

"We'll check the dorm first."

The dorm was locked, which I imagined had something to do with the lockdown. Natsume, though, simply used his alice to burn a hole through the door, reach through, and unlock it from the inside.

The foyer was empty, and eerily quiet. Our footsteps were the only sound as we hurried up the stairs. When we got to the first floor, Natsume pulled his gun out—I tried not to swoon—and led the way down the hallway. We stopped, without incident, in front of my dorm room door. I was just about to announce that I didn't have a key, when Natsume reached forward and pushed on the door. It hadn't been closed.

My stomach sank to my toes.

"Wait here," he said to me, and then disappeared into the room with his gun drawn. When he returned a moment later, his face was grim.

"Where would they take them?" I demanded.

"Office building." Instead of starting down the hallway, he stopped at the room next to mine. Unlike me, he had a key.

Ruka and Koko stood up abruptly from the sofas when the door opened. At first, both looked poised to fight. Then they registered who they were looking at and their expressions were replaced with relief.

"Thank God," Ruka gasped. "Something is going on. Anna and Sumire-"

"We're going to get them," I assured him. "What happened here?"

"They put us on lockdown as soon as the alarm went off." He eyed me knowingly. "We didn't get word of anything else, but we heard someone in the hallway a couple of hours ago. We didn't even realize what was happening before we heard them next door. They didn't scream or anything, which is why it took us so long to realize what was happening."

"I tried to go after them," Koko said miserably. "One of the guys has a compulsion alice. He told me to go back inside and not to leave."

"I tried to go out after he was sent back in," Ruka added. "And they gave me the same order. Natsume, Hotaru hasn't come back since you left with her."

"How long has it been?" Natsume asked. "Since he gave you that order?"

Koko shrugged half-heartedly. "Two hours, maybe."

"It should have worn off. We need your help." He motioned to me. "We need to get inside the office building, but a distraction would be helpful."

Koko reached into the closet to retrieve his coat. "I'm the king of distractions. What's their endgame?"

"World domination," I answered bleakly. "Using me."

Ruka pulled his jacket on, too. "That's ambitious." He turned to Natsume. "What do they need Hotaru for?"

"She has a valuable alice," Natsume replied. "She's one of the people that they want to compel."

"How do we stop it?"

I pulled the door open. "First, we make sure the country isn't going to be catapulted into civil unrest. Then we kill Rei. Then we all live happily ever after."

"You sound skeptical."

"My alice presents…problems."

"Why didn't you come by yourself, Natsume?"

Natsume moved around me so he could be in front. "Couldn't get over the wall without her. And she needs a healer."

When they both cast me questioning glances, I forced a smile. "I got shot. I need to make sure my friends are okay. Natsume, what was Hotaru doing with you?"

"Helping me get you out of the Organization."

I remembered that Hotaru's alice was an invention alice. And I also remembered the small little mechanical bug that had dropped out of the air vent. "Was that little bug thing what was causing the explosions? Was that your plan? To force them to have to transport us?"

"Yes."

Ruka hit Natsume's arm suddenly, his voice hopeful when he said, "Us?" Natsume nodded at him, and Ruka turned an electric smile to me. "You got Youichi out?"

I looked away to hide my embarrassment. "I had help."

We jogged across campus. The closer we got to the office building, the further my heart drove itself into my throat. What were we going to be walking into? Would Sumire and Anna still be alive? Of course they would, I told myself. They would be no use to Rei as a persuasive piece if they were dead.

When we reached the office building, the weight of the situation dropped on me. I looked at Natsume out of the corner of my eye, grateful that Youichi wasn't here and couldn't be used to kill his brother. But I couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be the end of the road for me.

He must have been thinking the same thing. He glanced at Ruka and Koko, had a short, hushed conversation with them, and then they walked a few steps away, giving us some privacy.

Natsume's back was to me, his shoulders tight with tension. He ran a hand through his hair, and then turned around abruptly. He grabbed my face gently between his hands and pressed a searing hot kiss to my lips. It was long, slow, and passionate, and I'm pretty sure the only reason he stopped when he did was because he could feel my alice drawing his out.

I think I was blushing when he pulled away, but I couldn't be sure because I couldn't really feel my body.

He held my gaze for a long few seconds. "I will keep you safe."

My heart fluttered. "That's really sweet, Natsume, but you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"If only one of us is getting out of there, it's going to be you."

My eyes flooded with tears. "Don't say that."

His lips turned up in a grim smirk. "Obviously the goal is for everyone to get out of there." He let go of me and motioned to Ruka and Koko.

"Geez, it only took the end of the freaking world for you two to get your heads out of your asses," Koko muttered.

Natsume led us around the back, where we found an emergency exit door. It was locked, of course, but Ruka, I discovered, had the alice of super strength. He pulled the door open effortlessly, breaking the frame in the process. The crack the wood made was loud enough to draw attention.

Gun drawn, Natsume ascended the back stairs. I started to follow, but Koko grabbed me gently and forced his way past me. Ruka brought up the rear.

A door at the top of the stairs opened. We were still hidden on the stairwell, but someone was definitely coming. Koko closed his eyes, and though I didn't see anything, I heard a shout of surprise from the top of the stairs. And then a blood curdling scream. And then the sound of flesh tearing.

Koko shook me urgently, snapping me out of it. I hadn't even noticed the pain in my chest that time, but now that I was back on earth, I felt its lingering effect. Koko's eyes were wild, and while I wasn't really remorseful that the man upstairs was probably dead, I felt bad that I'd forced Koko's alice to be responsible.

"You're way too badass, Mikan," he whispered.

"What was that?" someone said, audible through the open door. Then there was a gasp. "He's dead! Someone's here!"

I panicked, abruptly grabbing Koko and Ruka and nearly shoving them back down the stairs. "Go, go, _go_. Before they see you."

"Mikan-" Ruka protested.

"We've got this," I insisted. "You will be two less people he can control. Two less people to use against us. Just go. We'll get Hotaru."

Natsume had ascended the stairs further. Two gunshots rang out, and panic surged through me once more. I hurried back up the stairs, swinging around the corner just in time to see Natsume fire two more shots before continuing up the stairs. I gawked only briefly at the bloodied corpse on the landing, the result of mine and Koko's alices combined, before running after him. He disappeared through the open door at the top, and I, mortified that I would lose him if I didn't hurry, lunged through after him.

He had taken the room in quickly, pinpointing exactly where everyone was. We were in the conference room, and there were several bodies there with us. Most notable were Rei, Kyo, and Reo, as well as Anna, Sumire, Hotaru, and Mrs. Yamada.

Sumire was unconscious, while Anna sat with her back against a man's legs. Her wrists and ankles were tied, and she had a gag in her mouth. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and I understood why when I noticed the man that stood behind her had a gun pressed against the top of her head. Hotaru and Mrs. Yamada were bound similarly, but they at least didn't have a gun to their heads, probably because there was more value in Hotaru's alice and Mrs. Yamada's position than there was in Anna's alice.

Natsume had processed all of this information quickly enough to immediately turn his gun to Reo. Before he could pull the trigger, though, Kyo's nerve-grating voice was ringing out with the command, "Drop the gun."

The gun clattered to the floor. In the same instant, Natsume raised a hand. I figured he'd been intending to set Reo on fire, which would effectively kill the traitor and hopefully destroy the crucifix around his neck, but his fingers barely had time to twitch before Kyo was throwing another order at him. "Don't use your alice."

The room fell silent. I was frozen, trying to think of a way to proceed.

Rei grinned. "Mikan, so happy you were able to join us."

* * *

A/N: The end is near! Hope you all enjoy the chapter! And I'm very excited that, while some of you did, a lot of you didn't catch on to the whole Daichi/Izumi thing. Twists are fun :)


	18. Control

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _I can't help this awful energy  
_ _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me  
_ _Who is in control?_

 _-_ Control  
Halsey

 _Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…_

I was trying to listen to that voice in my head, but it was goddamn difficult when I was looking around the room. At my friends. At Natsume. And just _looking_ at Rei made anger burn in the pit of my stomach.

"This is an interesting situation," I managed to say evenly. "What are we hoping to accomplish here?"

Rei strode toward me. Natsume, who had been ordered to drop the gun and not use his alice but hadn't been told to stay put, sidestepped in front of him, blocking me from his advance. I wrapped my hand around the hem of his shirt, grateful for his proximity.

"Son," he said, almost fondly. "Mikan and I were having a conversation."

"Like hell you were."

Rei visibly sighed and glanced over his shoulder at Kyo.

"Step aside, Natsume," Kyo ordered. "And don't move."

Natsume threw some colorful words at Kyo but ultimately moved out of the way. If only I could figure out how to actually control my nullification alice.

Rei stopped in front of me, lifting his hand to brush his fingers down my cheek. Natsume tensed. "You know what I want to accomplish, my dear. And you coming in here trying to be the hero is just going to help me."

I slapped his hand away. "Compulsion on a large scale, right? Everyone with a useful alice. To build your army and take over the world. A little cliché, isn't it?"

He shrugged. "Cliché or not, with you it's possible."

"Alright, if this is going to be a negotiation, I'm going to need a couple things first."

He raised an eyebrow, amused. "What makes you think this is a negotiation?"

"Well you have a gun pointed at one of my best friends' heads, and since you can't use compulsion on me, I imagine you have a few other tricks up your sleeve. But if you want me to help you without trying to scratch your eyes out, we should do this civilly." Before he could respond, I asked, "Is Sumire okay?"

Rei glanced at Sumire, who was sprawled on the floor, mouth slightly agape. She would be mortified that Natsume saw her that way. "She's fine. She wouldn't stop screaming so that she wouldn't be able to hear Kyo's commands and she kept trying to knock people out so we had to knock her out. Feisty one." His eyes were sharp when they swung back to me. "My turn. Where's Youichi?"

My chest tightened. "Do you actually think I would tell you?"

"No." He strolled over to Natsume, who was seething in his spot. "Where's Youichi?"

"Fuck you," Natsume spat.

Rei sighed again, motioning for Kyo. If Kyo told Natsume to tell him where Youichi was, he would have no choice but to comply. And then Youichi would be in danger again, and Natsume would be in danger. And I would have given myself to the Organization for no reason. I glanced at Reo, who was loitering on the outskirts of the room, watching. He was too far away. But I could solve the Kyo problem.

I lunged forward, knocking my body into Kyo's. He swiped at me as we both fell, while I struggled to land my hand on his face, to cover his mouth so his orders wouldn't work. And while I had caught him off guard, the fact that he was bigger than me won out. He flipped me over onto my back, pinning me down like he had in the Organization.

The slimeball grinned. "Didn't know you liked this so much."

"Let her up," Rei said. "But tell her friends what they're going to do if she tries anything like that again."

My stomach hollowed.

Kyo stood up, pulling me with him, before turning to Anna and Hotaru. "Hold onto the guns the nice men are going to give you," he said to them. "If Mikan tries to misbehave, shoot yourself in the head."

The men that held Hotaru and Anna cut the binds on their wrists and then passed their guns down. Anna's eyes began to water again, while Hotaru stared evenly at Rei despite the gun she was now pressing to her temple.

"Natsume, tell me where Youichi is," Kyo said to Natsume.

Natsume remained calm. "I don't know."

I could have died of relief.

Kyo, on the other hand, seemed to tremble with anger. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I know Jinno took him somewhere safe. I don't know where because I didn't ask." Because Natsume was smart, and had known this situation would be a possibility.

Kyo and Rei exchanged glances. Nobody in this room knew where Youichi was. I was elated.

Someone's phone rang. After a moment of eyeing Natsume, Rei pulled his phone out. There were some words said, and then Rei was making another phone call and telling someone to go let Daichi in the gate. At least one thing was going as planned.

Rei tucked his phone away. "We've still got a lot to learn about your alices, Mikan, but we're hoping that we've at least got the basics down so we can carry on. Here's how it's going to work: my sweet Kaoru is going to use the intercom system to announce the names of the students whose alices are useful to our cause and have them gather in the gym. Once they're all in one place, Kyo is going to have them organize into vehicles. You're going to help with your alice to make this possible."

"I hope you know how to make it work with my alice because I sure don't," I said.

"Of course. We've deduced that you need to be upset." He motioned to the room around him. "I've got a room of people here that I can use to make you upset."

He had me there.

First and foremost, I needed to find a way to get the guns out of Anna and Hotaru's hands. Then, I would kill Rei. Screw the information that could bring the country down. I didn't give a damn anymore. All I wanted was for everyone I cared about to walk out of this room alive.

Natsume had told me that when he had blown up my house, he'd been knocked out so Kyo's order had become ineffective. If I could figure out a way to knock out my friends…

"Kaoru, my love, will you please show us how to use the intercom system here?" Rei said to Mrs. Yamada.

She stared defiantly at him, not moving.

"Must be frustrating when no one listens to you and you have to get your little minion there to do all the heavy lifting for you," I commented dryly.

Ignoring me, Rei motioned to Kyo who told Mrs. Yamada to use the intercom system. Reo produced a list for her, and she began calling out names on the list, directing those people to the gym.

I eyeballed the crucifix on Reo's neck. It was definitely big enough to be a USB drive. But now I was doubting myself. Would it be that easy? Daichi/my dad had said that Reo wasn't working for anyone but himself, which had to be the truth otherwise Reo would have told Rei about Natsume's informant. Could he have had the records all this time?

Sumire stirred from her spot on the ground. She was close to both Hotaru and Anna. Within reaching distance.

I glanced at Natsume. He was looking back at me, and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

She had balls, I would give her that. The problem being she was notoriously bad at acting in the moment and not thinking things through.

I had thought things through. I saw a way out of this in which everyone-mostly-would win, but it would take some maneuvering. As soon as Izumi got here, disguised as Daichi, I would be able to set things into motion. I needed another set of hands to help get people out of this room.

Sumire was beginning to stir. Mikan was darting glances in her direction. I could see what she was thinking. Luckily no one else seemed to be paying attention, otherwise they'd probably pick up on her plans, too. It was obvious to me why her plan to escape the school and get Youichi back was destined to fail. She was too easy to read.

My mother was calling the names of students with valuable alices. Ruka was among them, but I'd told him and Koko to standby for Izumi outside the building. I was going to need them when this was all over.

Mikan shifted where she stood, her eyes zeroed in on Sumire as she began to lift herself off the ground. She would have to communicate quickly to her friend, before Kyo trapped Sumire in the same order as Anna and Hotaru.

I had noticed the crucifix around Reo's neck that she had mentioned. She was right about it being a long shot, but it also made sense. If Rei had paid Reo to feed him information and to keep those records safe, but Reo wasn't actually invested in the Organization, it would make sense that he hadn't given away my informant.

Reo was in this solely for himself. Which means all we had to do was give him the better deal. Or we could just kill him.

* * *

 **MIKAN**

"It's a good thing you knocked Sumire out," I said loudly, hoping Sumire was awake enough to listen to me. "Otherwise she'd be able to knock Anna and Hotaru out so that Kyo's alice wouldn't be effective anymore."

Kyo cast a glance at Natsume, and then snorted. "That isn't proven to work."

"Even if it didn't work, someone who's unconscious can't follow orders now, can they?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sumire grow still. Hoping that meant she had caught on and not that she had passed back out, I was careful not to look at her.

Kaoru was still calling out names. Her voice shook.

"I know where those records you keep bragging about are," I announced.

All eyes in the room swung to me. Distraction accomplished. Rei didn't look phased, but Reo looked a little surprised. His hand went to the crucifix, and I felt hope bloom in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I was right after all.

"And what, pray tell, are you going to do with them, my dear?" Rei asked.

"Destroy them, obviously." I smiled at him. "And then destroy you. Easy peasy."

Before he could respond, someone was knocking on the door from the stairs. Without waiting for a response, the door swung open and my dad, disguised as Daichi, walked in confidently. He didn't even look at me.

"We've narrowed down an area to search for Youichi," he reported. "We should have him within the hour."

God, I hoped he was bluffing.

"Excellent." Rei approached Natsume. "You've grown into an admirable young man, son. I can see why Mikan likes you. And I can see why you care for her. She did all of this for you."

"Well, for Youichi too," I objected.

Sumire moved quickly. She launched herself off the floor, hands outstretched. Before anyone in the room could react, she had made contact with both Anna and Hotaru. My friends dropped the guns and sagged to the floor. I had a split second of panic, thinking Sumire was going to get herself hurt, but she touched her own head, falling over on top of Anna.

Silence descended on the room. I still didn't dare move, in hopes of deflecting attention away from the fact that Natsume could still be used against me.

"I think you should reconsider negotiating with me," I said.

Rei studied me carefully, weighing his options. "Why do you think you know where the records are?"

"Because I'm smart and I know that you've pulled strings to get what you want before. How much did you pay him for secrecy? And did you know you paid him for secrecy and not for loyalty?" I took a step towards him, shooting Kyo a warning glare when he moved. "If you want me to use my alice to help you, you're going to get everyone out of this room."

He arched an eyebrow. "And how do I know you aren't going to go back on your word?"

"You don't. But those are the conditions."

Rei contemplated this for a second, then motioned to his men. "Kyo and Natsume stay. Reo, you as well. Kaoru, my darling, are you done?"

Mrs. Yamada shot him a venomous glare, but nodded. The paper with the list of names on it fell from her hand.

My dad snuck a glance at me, but I didn't meet his eyes. I didn't want Rei to figure out it was him. He helped the other men drag the unconscious bodies of my friends out of the room. After Mrs. Yamada left, only me, Natsume, Reo, Rei, and Kyo remained in the room.

* * *

 **NATSUME**

Surprisingly, her plan had somehow worked out. She'd effectively levelled the playing field a bit. I wasn't sure if she was planning on actually letting Kyo use her alice to control the group of people that had gathered in the gym, but I did know my part of the plan was coming together...sort of. There were some changes that would need to be made, but Izumi had Ruka and Koko to help him dispatch of the other Organization members, which would help when everything went to shit.

Everyone had cleared the building. I had told Ruka and Koko to make sure that everyone distanced themselves. I could take out Reo, Rei, and Kyo in one go. All of our problems would be taken care of. There was just one catch.

No one in the room knew that Kyo's alice hadn't worked on me. The calm that Mikan was exuding, and her intent to shield me from his alice, had been successful. But the longer they thought they had me under their thumb, the better.

I hated myself for having to take this course of action. I had seen the way Mikan had clutched at her chest every time she used her amplification alice on a large scale; I imagined it felt like mine did when I used it, probably worse. But it was the most effective way to make sure we did what we came here to do.

All I had to do was wait until she was close enough that I could grab her, and then I had to make her upset. Extremely upset. And to do that, I needed someone to point a gun at me.

* * *

 **MIKAN**

"Did you know you had a mole, Rei?" I asked as Kyo strolled over to the phone that Kaoru had used to speak over the intercom. Rei didn't react to this piece of information, but I knew he had suspected Natsume had had help getting me out. "Did you know that Reo knew you had a mole?" _That_ , however, got his attention.

Rei whirled around to face Reo, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling their faces together. Rei's was a picture of fury. "You son of a bitch."

Reo only grinned. "You paid me to keep a secret, not to tell you everything. I told you, I would help you with those records but I would do it on my own terms. They didn't know that they had a mole, why should I tell them that you had one, too? I like a level playing field. Besides, the school pays me better than you paid me."

"You should have thought of a better place to hide them," I said, motioning to my chest. "That crucifix is _ugly_. It was literally one of the first things I noticed about you."

Rei dropped Reo back to the ground, but not before grabbing the piece of jewelry and yanking it hard enough to break the chain it was on. Then he turned to Natsume, eyes ablaze. "Who helped you?"

Natsume stared evenly back, jaw clenched.

Kyo didn't wait for the order before saying, "Tell him who helped you."

"Daichi," Natsume answered, and then after a brief look at me, "Izumi."

Shock registered on Rei's face. "What?"

"Bet you didn't see that one coming," I chirped. "To be fair, neither did I. My dad faked his death so he could infiltrate the Organization without being suspected. He knew he had been close to finding out where you kept those records. He didn't want to give up. Not when it was a matter of national security. If it hadn't been for him helping me get out of the Organization, he might still be looking for them, so I guess it got the job done in a roundabout way."

Rei fished for his phone, but Natsume stopped him. "Don't bother. They'll have incapacitated all the men you have out there. They have a whole army of students gathered in one place that have been raised being told the Organization is full of lunatics. It's just us now."

"Barricade the doors," Rei barked at Reo, then he stalked towards me and grabbed me roughly by the arm. The one with the bullet hole in it. I cried out involuntarily, which only made him smirk. "Do your part, girl, or I'll kill Natsume."

"What happens after I let you use my alice for this crazy plan of yours? What happens to us?"

"You both come with me. Natsume's alice is useful, too. And once we have all these students in our hands, Natsume will make a good leader. They look up to him, whether it's from fear or admiration doesn't matter."

"Mixture of both," I forced through my teeth. "What happened to your plan to get me and Youichi to kill him? Is it not as fun when you only have me?"

"We'll get to that when I've gotten Youichi back and Natsume has run his course of usefulness." He threw me down next to the phone. "Now, do your job, or Natsume is going to shoot himself in the head."

Instead of pointing out that he didn't have a gun in his hand anymore, I thrust my elbow into Rei's abdomen, simultaneously latching onto the hand that held the crucifix. I struggled to pry his fingers open while he tried to recover from the blow, but his grip was like iron. He twisted my arm behind my back and shoved me forward until my hips connected with a table and I folded forward, my face against the surface of the table and Rei pressing into me from behind. His mouth was hot by my ear.

"Do not test me," he hissed.

"Get off me," I growled.

"Where's the fun in that?" His free hand slid up my leg, around my waist, and then under my shirt, where it stayed. "I'm stronger than you, Mikan. And I know that I can make you feel angry."

"Get your hands off of her," Natsume snapped.

Rei pulled his gun from his waistband and kept it trained on Natsume as he eased off of me. Then, with his free hand, the one that still clutched the crucifix, he motioned for Kyo to pick up the phone again.

My eyes darted between Natsume and Rei, my main concern being what kind of methods Rei was planning to use to make me angry. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it too much, though, because before Kyo could even utter a word into the phone, Natsume was lunging at Rei.

Natsume had the element of surprise on his side. He wasn't supposed to be able to move. In the same instance that I realized that that must have meant my nullification alice had worked after all, Rei reacted by pulling the trigger. Three times. The fact that Natsume was so close meant that all three bullets hit their target.

I saw red. The floor fell out from underneath me. The rest happened in slow motion.

Natsume flexed his hand as he fell. A spark ignited in his palm. Searing hot pain ripped me in half, a feeling so familiar that for a second I was back in front of what used to be my house, watching in agony as it blew up. With his other hand, he reached for me. As he fell, he pulled me down with him. Flames erupted around us with a deafening boom. My back hit the floor, which was hot, and Natsume landed on top of me. He was making himself as big as possible, sheltering me from the heat of the explosion.

I could feel the blood seeping into my clothes.

It took a moment for the shock to subside a bit and for me to realize that I was screaming. And that Natsume wasn't moving. The flames still grew around us, but the fact that the ceiling was no longer there saved me from a majority of the smoke. I struggled to push Natsume off of me, and when I did, I wished I hadn't.

Three bodies lay in various positions around the room, having been blown several feet from where they'd been standing before. The entire conference room was on fire, with smoke billowing out the gaping roof into the inky night sky.

My ears were ringing, and I still wasn't really sure what had happened. Glancing down, I saw my hands covered in blood. My dazed eyes wandered to Natsume, where he lay on his back beside me, and I felt my body grow cold.

His mouth was agape, a trickle of blood sliding down his chin. There were three holes in his shirt, three holes in his body. His eyes were closed, and when I leapt on him, grabbing his face between my hands, he was unresponsive.

"Natsume!" I think I yelled, but I still couldn't hear over the ringing in my ears. "Wake up!"

I looked around the room. We were surrounded by fire, and the doors were still barricaded. But it looked like someone was pounding on them from the other side. I forced my feet under me, threading my arms underneath his and trying to pull him towards the door. But he was too heavy, and my hands were slippery from the blood. I collapsed back to the floor, hanging over him, sheltering him from the heat.

"I did not just go through _hell_ to get your brother back for you to die on me, you jerk!" I shouted, slapping his face gently. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

The door behind me burst open. My dad dropped to his knees beside me, wrapping me in his arms before I pushed him off and threw myself on top of Natsume. My body quaked with sobs.

"Get her out of here!" my dad shouted. "Anna! Over here!"

Two sets of hands grabbed me by the arms, dragging me to my feet. I fought them, trying to get back to Natsume.

"You can't help him!" Ruka shouted in my ear. "Let Anna do this!"

Anna had raced past me without a glance in my direction. She dropped next to Natsume, hands flying across his body. I waited, still fighting the people pulling me back, for the bullet holes to close like magic. But they didn't.

Anna's hands stopped at Natsume's neck. Checking for a pulse. Then she was pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes and a look of helplessness overcame her.

I broke free from Ruka and Sumire and crashed back to the ground next to Anna. "Why aren't you healing him?" I screamed, grabbing her wrist and forcing her hand back to the wounds on his chest. "Heal him!"

"Mikan!" my dad shouted. "Mikan, stop!"

"Why isn't she healing him?" I cried.

Anna's voice was hollow when she said, "I can't bring people back from the dead."

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry for this.

See you in a couple of days! :)


	19. Up We Go

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

* * *

 _Dawn is bound to break,  
When the night is done  
Always darker days  
Before brighter ones_

 _-_ Up We Go  
Lights

I don't know how I got out of the burning building. I knew it wasn't with the help of an alice, because my dad made sure no one came near me with their alices. Not while I was literally kicking and screaming as I was dragged away from the flames. Not while I was out of control.

Mr. Narumi was outside. He helped Ruka and Sumire keep me from running back into the building, and when he touched me, an unnatural calm washed over me. My screaming stopped long enough for me to drop to the ground and curl into myself.

"Mikan," someone was saying to me, but their voice sounded so far away. "Give me your arm."

I looked up at Anna's tear-stained face. Her hands were shaking, and her skin was pale. But she held her hands out to me, beckoning for my arm, wanting to help despite the trauma she was enduring herself.

I let her take my arm, felt relieved for a second when the pain subsided, and then looked back up at the office building. It was crumbling, and my dad and Natsume were nowhere to be seen.

"It's okay," Sumire said, wrapping her arms around me when I tried to get up. "They're taking him to the hospital. They'll save him, Mikan."

Anna and Sumire shared a glance over my head before Anna folded herself into us, too. I wanted to stay there, to put everything on pause because I wasn't sure I could handle what came next.

"He did that on purpose," I whispered.

Sumire lifted her head. "What?"

"He did that on purpose. So I'd get mad."

"Girls," Mr. Narumi said gently. "Come on. We should go to the hospital. Natsume could use our support."

Bile rose up in my throat. I lunged away from them to throw up before saying, in a weak voice, "Mr. Narumi…he's dead."

Mr. Narumi patted my head gently, his smile warm. "My dear girl, we're in a school with some very special individuals. And Natsume himself is a special individual. He'll pull through. And he'll want to see you there when he does."

I was less optimistic. I could barely walk on my own, my legs the consistency of wet noodles. Ruka and Koko held me up as we walked, and we hadn't gotten far when a black SUV swung by to pick us up.

"What about the fire?" I asked quietly, watching through the back window at the flames leaping into the sky and the black smoke blending with the night.

"They're sending some students with water alices over as we speak," Mr. Narumi said. "It'll be contained within the hour. You can breathe, Mikan. It's over."

A lump rose to my throat. "But Natsume…"

Sumire grabbed my hand. Her smile, though small, was so understanding and reassuring that I couldn't help but lean my head down onto her shoulder. "He'll be okay. And when he is, you can tell me what the hell happened between you two." When I looked up abruptly, she squeezed my hand. "I'm not mad. I just want to know."

It didn't take long to get to the hospital, but once we did, I'd broken back into too many pieces to put back together. I let myself be dragged out of the car and through some haze I found myself being tucked into a hospital bed. IV's were hooked up to my arms, and I didn't protest. My whole body was numb.

Someone healed the minor burns on my body, and I remember being peeled out of my clothes. They were stuck to me because of the blood. Natsume's blood. I was washed, and then returned to the bed, where someone held my hand as I stared dazedly at the ceiling. I'd been given a sedative, I imagined.

The scene replayed in my head. The way he'd been looking at me, and I'd been wondering if he'd been thinking the same thing as I had been. Clearly he'd been thinking something entirely different. He'd waited to make sure there was a gun pointed at him, and then to make sure that I was close enough that he'd be able to grab me and pull me under him to shield me from the explosion that we created.

When I came out of my stupor, Anna and Sumire were in the room with me. Anna was sitting on the chair, her back straight, her eyes trained on the ground. They were rimmed with red, like she hadn't closed them in a long time. Sumire stood at the window, arms folded over her chest, a vacant expression on her face.

I sat up fast, ripping the IV out of my arm and rolling out of the bed. Still disoriented, I fell, catching myself on the bed before I hit the ground.

"Mikan!" Anna exclaimed, shooting to her feet.

Sumire had already caught me by the arm, helping me stand. "You should lie down."

"What's going on? Is he-" My voice cracked. I didn't bother fighting the tears.

"They're still working on him," she said softly. "There's nothing you can do right now but wait."

I looked down at myself. I was in a hospital gown, and my skin had been scrubbed clean. There was no evidence of the burns, but there was a puckered scar where the bullet had been. I guessed that had something to do with my alice.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked hoarsely.

"In the waiting room," Anna answered. "Do you want to go out there?"

Sumire shot her a look. "She should rest."

"What, you really think she's going to be able to rest? No. So she might as well be with other people to keep her mind off it."

I looked between them, feeling another emotion overflowing in my chest: gratefulness. I pulled them both into a hug, resting my forehead against Sumire's shoulder so that her shirt would soak up my tears. "I love you guys so much. I'm sorry I left."

Anna stroked my back. "I just wish you would have told us, Mikan. We would have helped you."

There was a knock on the door, but none of us moved. Not that it mattered, because Hotaru didn't wait for an invitation.

"Good, you're up," she said, striding over to us. She held out her hand, which held a steaming cup of coffee. "Hyuga is in surgery. It'll be awhile. You'll need this."

I took it from her, sniffling. "Thanks Hotaru. And thanks for sending that bug thing in to explode so Youichi and I could get out."

She studied me carefully for a long second, analytical. And then she hugged me. I was so shocked I couldn't move. "You can pay me back later."

Sumire rolled her eyes and then guided me out of the room after Hotaru. We didn't have to go far to get to the waiting room, and when we did, I was surprised to see so many people there.

My dad—back to looking like my dad—Gary, Mrs. Yamada, Mr. Narumi, Mr. Meany, Ruka, and Koko all sat around the room. There weren't that many seats, because it was a small hospital, but Mrs. Yamada was sitting down with a small child asleep in her lap.

My dad saw us first, rushing over to wrap me in a hug that I was grateful for. I could be mad at him later; for now, I was just a scared and damaged little girl who needed her daddy. "I'm so proud of you, honey."

"It wasn't me. Natsume did it."

Anna and Sumire passed me off to him and he kept his arm around my shoulders to bring me over to everyone else. Gary grabbed me gently by the face, his eyes comforting and his smile gentle. "Might need that drink after this."

Mrs. Yamada smiled at me, but it was hesitant. I didn't return her smile, but she said, "Thank you," anyway and kissed a sleeping Youichi on top of the head.

Mr. Meany stood up to let me sit down, and he even grabbed my hand to help guide me down. I decided in that moment that maybe he wasn't so bad.

I watched the clock, clutching the coffee Hotaru had brought in my hands. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. I learned that the other teachers were doing damage control with the rest of the students, and that they were trying to keep most of what had happened on the down-low. Nobody knew what had happened to Natsume.

What would they tell everyone if he didn't make it? I couldn't bear to think about it. It made my heart twist. If Natsume didn't make it…

A thought struck me then, and I shot to my feet so quickly that coffee sloshed all over my hand. I swung to face my dad. "I made Luna turn back time. We could do that and-"

"You made Luna turn back time a few seconds," Hotaru said from behind me, her tone logical. "She doesn't have the capacity to turn back time at all without your amplification alice, so even with your help she probably couldn't turn it back far enough."

"Besides," my dad added, "you should never mess with the past. It's not natural."

"Nothing about alices is natural," I deadpanned. "What about a healing alice? Could I amplify that?"

"You're spent, honey," he said softly. "Natsume told me that your amplification alice has adverse effects on your health. You need to recover first. He won't be happy if he pulls through this to find that you destroyed yourself making it happen. Besides, alices can't fix everything. If they could, we wouldn't be forced to hide them from the rest of the world. Sometimes you need to let things take their natural course. There are trained surgeons in there working on him. Let them do their job."

I sniffled. Mr. Narumi came over and placed his hand briefly on my shoulder. The weird calm spread through me. It must have been his alice. Whatever it was, it helped me pull in a full breath before I spun out of control again.

My dad came to sit next to me, rubbing one hand across my shoulders like he'd always done when I was stressed. I didn't look at him, because that situation was a whole other can of worms that I didn't feel up to opening just yet. There was going to be some bad blood between us, I thought.

Hours had passed before a doctor came out. He must have been a real doctor after all, if he was able to perform surgery. The lines in his face were deep and he wasn't smiling. I turned away from him, staying in my seat and staring at the wall while Mrs. Yamada stood up with Youichi and my dad joined her.

"Natsume lost a lot of blood."

The sounds around me drowned out. Someone's hand was on my arm. But all I could hear was the doctor's voice as if he were speaking underwater.

"One of the bullets grazed his aortic artery, but you were able to get him here before he bled out. His alice presented some problems, as you know it has greatly reduced his body's ability to heal, as well as has reduced the effectiveness of healing alices."

The breath wheezed out of me. He was dead. He was dead. The doctor was going to say, "We did everything we could, but the damage was too much. I'm sorry for your loss." That's what happened in movies and TV shows.

"Despite all this, we were able to restart his heart and repair the damage enough to stabilize his condition. He hasn't woken up, but he is showing signs of normal brain activity. He'll have a long road to recovery, but with the help of healing alices over a prolonged amount of time as well as regular physiotherapy, we expect him to make a full recovery."

The coffee cup, which was still half full but had grown cold, fell out of my hand. It bounced off the ground, spraying coffee all over my feet. Then I dropped my head into my hands and just cried.

"He's okay, Mikan," Anna whispered in my ear, her voice tight with relief. "He's going to be okay."

I nodded my head, unable to stop the tears.

"Can we see him?" Mrs. Yamada asked.

"Like I said, he hasn't woken up yet," the doctor replied. "But I'll allow two visitors at a time until he does."

"Thank you." There was a brief silence, and then I sensed someone crouching in front of me. Youichi was still in her arms, but he was waking up. Mrs. Yamada was smiling gently at me. "Go on, Mikan. Go see him."

I shook my head. "I can't."

Her smile faltered. "Why not?"

"Because-" I choked on a sob. "This all happened because of me. I can't go in there. _I_ did that to him."

Mrs. Yamada set Youichi down on the ground and then grabbed both of my hands in hers. Her grip was tight. "None of this is your fault, Mikan. You were a player in a game that you wanted no part of. This happened to Natsume because of me and his father."

"Mikan," Youichi said in a small voice, wrapping his small hand around my wrist. "Are you okay?"

I forced a smile for him. "I'm okay, Youichi." Looking back at Mrs. Yamada, I said, "You two go ahead. I just need to get myself together first."

They left after the doctor, and Hotaru sat down where my dad had been beside me. "I told you he'd be fine."

"You didn't say that."

"Well, I knew he would be. And I'm never wrong."

Gary, Mr. Jinno, and Mr. Narumi departed not long after, deciding Natsume had enough visitors and that they'd take the time to get some rest. Mrs. Yamada and Youichi were gone for a long time, but when they came back, both of them looked relaxed. Relieved.

"He's awake," Mrs. Yamada said gently. "I'm going to put Youichi to bed. Mikan, he'd like to see you."

My heart jumped into my throat. Anna put her hand comfortingly on my back, putting a little bit of pressure on me to force me to stand. I grabbed her hand, but she shook her head. "You should go alone."

I walked slowly down the hallway on legs that felt like they didn't belong to me. A nurse guided me, patient with me even though I was taking my sweet-ass time. When she stopped in front of the door and waved me in, I froze.

Her expression was gentle. "He did ask for you."

Closing my eyes, I reminded myself that avoidance was never the answer and strode as confidently as I could into the room.

He was hooked up to so many machines that I couldn't follow all the tubes, but he at least didn't have a breathing tube or anything. He was shirtless, the blanket rolled down to his hips, but because of the bandages, hardly any of his skin was visible. His face was deathly pale.

But his eyes were open, and his head was turned to me.

I stayed glued to my spot, my confidence seeping out of me. I kept blinking, to try to keep the tears at bay, but it wasn't proving to be very effective.

"You look like shit," he said. His voice was hoarse.

A laugh bubbled out of my mouth. "So do you."

"Are you okay?"

Disbelief nearly had my jaw dropping. "Am _I_ okay? I'm the one standing over here without so much as a scratch on my body! You're the one that looks like _that_!"

His lips turned up. My anxiety started to melt away. I just wanted to slap him. "You don't have to yell."

I folded my arms over my chest. "You don't have to be stupid."

"Come over here."

I looked down at my feet, to where they were stuck to the ground, then back up at him. "I can stay over here. I don't want to infect you or anything."

"Legs," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm serious. Your immune system is probably really vulnerable and bad luck follows me around like the Plague so it's probably safer-"

"Mikan." His voice was soft, the smile gone. It was the first time I had ever heard him actually speak my name to me. "Please come here."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. He used my name _and_ said please? "Oh, they probably drugged you," I realized. "They definitely drugged you."

He closed his eyes for a second, irritated. "Get your ass over here, Legs."

"There he is," I grumbled, but I forced my feet to move until I got to the side of his bed. Now that I was closer, I couldn't help but take a better look at the patchwork there. I didn't know what to do with my hands, so I put them on the railing thing on the side of the bed that I guessed was to keep him from rolling off.

I managed to tear my eyes away from his chest to look at his face. He was looking at me, his brow furrowed. I realized it was probably because I was crying again.

I took a step back, turning away from him to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "I'm mad at you for doing that."

"Figured you would be."

"I had it under control."

"No you didn't."

"Well, I could have gotten it under control if you'd given me a little longer."

"I'm sorry for doing that to you."

I turned back around. "Doing what to me? Trying to die on me?"

His lips quirked, but it was short-lived. "No, for using your alice like that. At that magnitude. I know it hurts you."

I snorted. "I don't think the pain that caused was anywhere near comparable to what you must have felt getting shot three times in the chest, dumbass. When you're out of that hospital bed, I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll be right back in it."

He reached over the railing to grab my hand and reel me in. He was still strong, despite his condition. Not that I was trying very hard to resist. "Go get some rest."

I sniffled some more. The runny nose look was probably not my best look. "I don't want to leave."

"I'll still be here when you get back. You need to rest."

My breath caught in my throat. "Do you promise not to die? You're probably not out of the woods yet. I've seen every episode of _Grey's Anatomy._ Sometimes you think the patient is doing so well and you're like, 'Great, this episode is going to have a happy ending,' but then _surprise!_ Some complication happened and now they're dead."

"I'm not going to die."

"Promise."

"I promise."

"Okay. Because we have a lot to talk about." I looked around the room, spotting the chair. "You know what? I'll just sleep here."

"Get some rest in a proper bed," he ordered. "You need it. Your friends would probably appreciate your company, too."

I stared evenly back, but he didn't relent. "Okay. I'm going. But only for a few hours. Then I'm coming back." I hesitated for only a second before I leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead. I hadn't brushed my teeth in awhile so I wasn't brave enough to go for the lips. "Remember, don't die."

"I won't."

I cast him one last glance over my shoulder before I left the room, feeling three thousand pounds lighter. I sent Sumire and Anna in to see him, and when they came back with the same order to go rest, we sent Ruka and Koko in and then headed back for the dorm. My dad had elected to stay at the hospital.

The sun was coming up. We walked shoulder to shoulder through the snow. I was still in hospital clothes because the clothes I'd arrived in had been burnt and bloody, but I still had Natsume's coat. Even if it smelled like I had just pulled it out of a campfire.

"So what's the scoop with you two?" Sumire asked as we walked.

For a long second, I thought about lying and saying nothing had happened and then committing to being a good friend and making sure nothing happened between us again. But I didn't want nothing to happen again. "Sumire, I am _so_ sorry," I said quickly. "I don't know when it happened or even _how_ it happened but we kissed and then I thought I was never going to see him again so I slept with him and I'm really sorry. I know it makes me the worst friend-"

"Mikan," she interrupted softly. "It's okay. I mean, it sucks because I really like him but I know he never saw me that way. I'm a little bitter about it because Anna was the one that told me something happened, not you. And it's going to be tough for me to be super accepting of it all the time. But I understand. And I've never seen him like that with anyone. I wish it was me, but you're the next best thing." She winked.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief and linked my arm through hers. "You can call me names any time you want. Slut, bitch, back-stabber. All of them. I will take it."

"I'm not going to call you names."

"You _slept_ with him?" Anna exclaimed. " _When_? I never pegged you for the type to just…just…"

I crinkled my nose and shrunk into myself a bit. "I'm not the type! But Mr. Narumi told me that alcohol dulls alices sometimes and I knew I would be leaving and I didn't think I'd ever see him again and…and…he's just so _hot_."

Sumire snorted. "I knew there was no way you didn't find him attractive."

"I've always found him attractive! I just thought he was an entitled asshole!"

Anna was shaking her head. "I can't believe you slept with him." She sidled a glance at me, smirking. "Was it good?"

Heat crawled up my cheeks. I looked at Sumire, but she was smiling, waiting for my answer. "It was _unreal._ "

* * *

I fully intended to sleep for only a few hours, but when Sumire, Anna, and I crawled into Anna's bed, exhaustion caught up. I'd been awake for at least 30 hours, and I figured they were in the same boat if you didn't count Sumire knocking them out. Either way, I woke up 13 hours later, my mouth parched and my body on fire from being half-buried under my roommates.

"Oh, my God!" I shrieked when I saw the time on the clock.

Sumire lifted her head. She'd been face-down on her pillow. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks. "What?" she grumbled in alarm, trying to appear awake.

Anna rolled over and pulled her pillow over her head.

I hopped over Sumire. "We've been asleep _forever_. What if he got an infection and went into cardiac arrest and-"

"Jesus Christ, Mikan, calm your shit." Sumire sat up. "Have a shower before you go see him or he'll go running for the hills. Actually, don't have a shower. Then after he goes running for the hills I can go after him and sweep him off his feet."

I made a face at her and did as she said. My hair was a tangled mess and took me another half hour to comb when I got out of the shower. I ended up calling Sumire in to help me with it because I was starting to think I was going to have to cut it all off.

Anna appeared just as I was finished drying my hair. "You should eat something," she said.

"I'll stop by on my way," I answered.

She raised an eyebrow. "Will you actually? I mean it, Mikan. Stress does shitty things to your body."

"I will, I will." I paused. "Do you guys want to come?"

"We'll come for food," she decided. "But I don't want to be there while you and Natsume get all sappy. Yuck."

"We're not going to get sappy. I'm still mad at him."

We went to the dining hall for something to eat. Classes had been cancelled for the rest of the week, and since we had slept literally all day, dinner was being served when we got to the hall. It was pretty crowded, but because no one really knew what had happened, we didn't get any weird looks.

I inhaled my food and two coffees, and then asked my roommates one more time if they wanted to come with me. Anna stuck with her no, but Sumire hesitated. Then she decided to stick with Anna, citing the same reason that she didn't want to see us being sappy. I reiterated that there would be no sappiness.

Mrs. Yamada and Youichi were at the hospital when I got there. The doctor said that I could go in with them, but I wanted to find my dad first. He had gone for some rest, but was back in the waiting room. He stood up when he saw me.

"Mikan," he said cautiously, opening his arms.

I walked into his hug. "I'm still pissed at you," I assured him when I pulled away. "Like, _really_ pissed. But I'm putting that aside for a bit until this is all resolved. What happened to Reo, Rei, and Kyo?"

"Dead. All of them. The explosion killed them."

"And the records? Was I right?"

"You were." His smile was gentle as he reached forward to pet my head fondly. "You're so smart, honey."

"It was a lucky guess. Are they destroyed?"

"They are. Explosion melted the drive. We're investigating, but it looks like that was the only copy. The rest of the Organization, or those we could find after it was evacuated, have been brought in for questioning. I'll be leaving soon to go help." There was an unspoken question at the end of that sentence.

"I want to stay here for the rest of my senior year," I said. "My friends are here. I still have to learn what the heck I'm supposed to do with these stupid alices and-" I gasped suddenly, grabbing his arm. "Wait! Can you steal it? The amplification one? It's literally the most inconvenient thing."

He chuckled. "Sorry, Mik. I told you that I can't take powerful alices. You'll just need to learn how to control it so that it doesn't interfere with your daily interactions." With that he gave me a pointed look.

My mouth dried up. "I'm really sorry you had to see that in my memories. You and I are both going to be scarred from it."

He placed his hands on my shoulders. "Natsume is a good guy, Mikan. I'm happy that you're happy here." His smile faltered. "I hope you know that everything I did was because I wanted to keep you safe. And I know that I've failed as a father, but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I stretched up on my toes and kissed his cheek. "You better. I'll call once a week. Don't do anything else shady."

His eyes watered. "I love you, sweetie. You are the light of my life."

Instead of mentioning that he'd almost succeeding in putting that light out, I patted his arm. "Love you too, dad. When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. We have some cleaning up to do in the office building." He tucked his hands into his pockets. "Go on, go see him. And please, for the love of God, _always_ use protec-"

I clapped my hands over my ears. "Oh, my God, don't finish that sentence. I'm so not having this conversation with you. I'm not an idiot, dad." I spun around, waving at him over my shoulder and then practically ran down the hall. Mrs. Yamada was sitting in the chair next to Natsume's bed. Natsume had the bed in the sitting-up position, and Youichi was sitting on his lap, playing on a Gameboy. Youichi was fully clothed, and Natsume was wearing a T-shirt, creating a barrier between them so Natsume was shielded from Youichi's alice.

Everyone looked up at me when I walked in. I'd been about to say something like, "Hey, asshole," but then I remembered there was a child in the vicinity and stuck with a lame little wave instead.

Natsume raised an eyebrow and then glanced at an imaginary watch.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know I said a few hours. We passed out. I had some sleep debt to repay."

Mrs. Yamada stood. "I'll give you two some time. Youichi, come on."

"He can stay," I insisted. "He looks comfy."

Youichi looked at his mom hopefully, and she conceded with a nod before exiting the room. I flopped down in her seat.

"How are your bullet holes?" I asked.

Natsume looked amused. "You're still mad."

"Yeah. On second thought, maybe you should go with your mom, Youichi. I've got to give your brother an earful."

Youichi responded by snuggling into Natsume, his head under his chin. I tried not to melt, instead averting my gaze for a moment so I could recollect myself and then direct my glare back at Natsume.

"So? How are you feeling?"

"Fine. How are you feeling?"

I exhaled slowly. "Well, my dad's alive. You're alive. My friends are alive. I feel like the last few months have been an enormous waste of emotional energy. And I'm probably _still_ going to have PTSD. But physically I feel fine. A little sore. And look, I have a scar. I can't believe I got shot."

Natsume glanced at Youichi briefly, but Youichi was pretty enthralled in the video game he was playing. When he looked back at me, he still had that amusement flickering in his eyes. "Go out with me."

I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. When there wasn't one, I said dumbly, "What?"

"You heard me."

"I think I heard you incorrectly."

"You didn't."

"You want me to go out with you? Like _go out_?"

"That's what I said."

I folded my arms over my chest, suspicious. "I mean you no offense, Natsume, but you definitely don't seem like the dating type."

"I'm not. But I want to be. For you."

"Are you sure you're not still on drugs?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not on drugs."

I thought about it for a second. "I have a five-date-rule."

His lips turned up. "I know."

"You respect that? I know we did-" I broke off, remembering the child in the room. He didn't seem to be paying attention, but I remained vague anyway. "I know we did the thing already, but it doesn't count."

"Okay."

"And I don't like PDA. Especially because I don't want to hurt Sumire more than I already have."

He gave me a look. "Do you really think I'm into PDA, Legs?"

"No, I guess I don't." I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "Then yes, I will go out with you. But can we keep it on the down-low so I don't get murdered by every other girl in this school?"

"We can."

I stood up. I wanted to go closer to him, but people in hospital beds made me really nervous. And my heart was galloping so it probably wasn't safe anyway. "Do you think one of the healers could use my alice to help heal you faster? Now that I've rested?" Before waiting for an answer, I headed for the door. "I'm going to go ask."

His voice stopped me. "Legs, don't."

"Why not?"

"You shouldn't use your amplification alice if you don't have to." He eyed the scar on my arm where the bullet had been. "It's not good for you."

I turned my body so he couldn't see the scar. It was on the same arm as the other scar I had from the first time I was in the Organization, so that was helpful. "You can't tell me what to do. Besides, how are you going to stop me? You're stuck in that bed with a small child on your lap. Youichi, hold him down."

I darted out of the room to find the doctor. He said it was worth a shot, but Natsume refused. Because of some doctor code, he had to honour it, leaving me to sit in the chair next to the bed with my arms across my chest, pouting.

"So are you still my Protector?" I asked eventually.

"As far as I know. Someone needs to stop you from doing stupid shit all the time."

I scowled. "I don't do stupid shit all the time. Just some of the time. So what happens after we graduate? Have you applied to any colleges?"

"I go where you go."

"But I thought you said that the Protector services end after graduation."

"Your situation qualifies as unique."

I nodded thoughtfully and then shifted my gaze to Youichi. "What about Youichi? Where is he going?"

Natsume looked down at his brother, who briefly tore his attention away from the Gameboy to smile back. "He's going to the elementary campus. My mother is going with him."

That didn't really surprise me. I couldn't imagine there was a lot that could keep Mrs. Yamada away from her youngest son at this point, not when she had years to catch up on. "Like she's going to teach there? Or is she going to be the headmaster? Because I'll be honest, I think-"

"Teaching," he interrupted. "She's stepping down. She knows what she did was wrong."

"Are we getting a new headmaster?"

Natsume made a face that I couldn't decipher. "Narumi has been hired for the position."

I shot to me feet. "Really? Oh, my God. That's awesome. He's going to be the best headmaster. No offense to your mom."

He looked skeptical, but instead of vocalizing his objection to Narumi, he nudged his brother. "Mom wants to take you for ice cream."

Youichi immediately put down the Gameboy and looked up at Natsume with huge, hopeful eyes. "Really?"

"Really."

"Are you going to come?"

Natsume raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm on bedrest, Youichi."

Youichi's eyes swung to me. "Can you come?"

I ruffled his hair. "I think your mom probably wants to spend some time alone with you, Youichi. I'll stay here and make sure your brother stays in line." I helped him climb down from the bed, aching at the way that he was so careful not to make contact with my skin. "Ask your mom for an extra scoop and have one for me, okay?"

He grinned up at me, cast one last glance at Natsume, and darted from the room.

"That is one cute kid," I said, sitting back down in the chair. "And it's unbelievably impressive that he is not all sorts of screwed up from being held down there for so long." I kicked off my shoes and put my feet up on the bed.

"Your feet smell," Natsume commented.

"No they don't. I showered."

"Come here."

"Where?"

"Come lie down."

I eyed the bed, then narrowed my eyes at him. "There's not enough room for me to squeeze in there without probably ripping open all of your battle wounds accidentally."

"Yes, there is."

I started to argue, but he looked pale and tired and I didn't want him to waste his energy arguing with me. So I stood up, went around to the other side of the bed, and very carefully, dodging all of the IVs and tubes, slipped into the bed beside him. He put his arm underneath me so that he could reel me into his chest, where I lay my cheek. Despite his injuries, the warmth radiated off of him.

"Stay calm," he reminded me.

I was trying, but the position we were in reminded me too much of the position we'd been after we slept together, and how safe and cozy and warm I had felt. And the realization that this was real and somehow mine had my heart racing. The heat under my cheek intensified.

"Legs," he said sharply.

I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. The heat faded a bit. "Sorry."

Because I had just slept for most of the day, I wasn't tired. But Natsume dozed off, and I was content to just lay there with him, listening to his heart beating under my ear, soaking it up as reassurance that he was alive. I closed my eyes, and maybe I did start to drift again, because the door of the room opening abruptly, followed by the flash of a camera, scared the crap out of me.

Realizing what was happening, I gasped and flailed, trying to dislodge myself from Natsume. Because of the railing on the bed, I ended up having to force my body over harder than I anticipated, resulting in me flying off the bed in a flurry of arms and legs and landing on my face on the ground.

I jumped to my feet, whirling to face the door. "Hotaru," I said dangerously. "Delete that."

Ruka was behind her, torn between looking amused and horrified by his girlfriend's actions. "I'm so sorry."

Hotaru reviewed the pictures on her camera and then met my gaze. "These are great shots." Before I could utter a word, she turned and strode out of the room.

Once the shock wore off, I glanced at Natsume. "I'll be right back. She might be smarter than me, but there's no way that girl is faster than me." I jammed my feet back into my shoes. "Sorry in advance, Ruka. You might be giving her massages for the next couple weeks after I tackle her." Before either Natsume or Ruka could try to stop me, I sprinted from the room, yelling, "Hotaru, get back here!"

But as I ran after her, I was laughing. And for once, I was laughing without the boot on my chest. And it felt damn good.

* * *

I smiled at the cashier as she attached a bracelet around my wrist. A little bit of the adhesive part attached to my arm hair, but I was too excited to really care. Without waiting for any of my friends, I bounded past the entrance gates and into the amusement park beyond.

It was the largest indoor amusement park in the country, and it was at our disposal. It was Thursday, so it wasn't as busy as it might have been on the weekend, and we had been given a pass that was good for as many rides as we wanted.

"This is juvenile," Hotaru muttered from behind me.

" _You're_ just worried you're going to throw up again," Sumire taunted. "This time, I'm going to get a picture."

"We could have gone to the waterpark instead," she bit out.

"Waterparks are equally juvenile," I pointed out. I had also voted for the waterpark, but we'd been outnumbered.

It had been nearly two months since the incident at the school with the Organization. We were long overdue for a trip off the school grounds, but with Christmas and New Years, it had been put off. I had been allowed off the grounds to spend Christmas day with my dad, which had been nice despite the fact that I was still mad at him. Part of me was certain that we wouldn't ever have the same relationship.

New Years was spent with my friends. Natsume snuck some alcohol in and we spent the night playing drinking games while the countdown to the new year played on the TV. For the first time, I got to ring in the new year with a kiss from someone I actually liked.

"Rollercoaster first," Sumire chirped, clapping her hands together.

I glanced over my shoulder. Natsume was just getting a bracelet, and the girl doing the attaching was fumbling, her cheeks red. Poor girl. It still amazed me that the guy had that effect on people.

Anna grabbed me by the wrist and started to head towards some sort of space ship ride that looked like it was a zero-gravity type of deal, but I dug my heels in to wait for the boys to catch up. Natsume strolled over, fiddling with the bracelet on his wrist, probably because the frazzled cashier had stuck it right onto his arm hair.

"You coming, Natsume?" Anna asked, motioning excitedly to the ride.

"No," he said.

I poked him in the abdomen, in a spot that I knew was safe because I had spent my fair share of time with him without his shirt on so I knew every inch of that chest and I knew exactly where the bullet holes were. "Chicken."

"I'm not a chicken."

"You sure look like one."

"I'm here to protect you, not go on rides," he reminded me. "Besides, I haven't been cleared for rollercoasters."

"What about spinning teacups?"

"Definitely not spinning teacups."

I made a face at him and linked arms with Anna. "Fine. We'll be on the space ship thing and you can just stand there looking all bad ass and hot."

His lips quirked, and he grabbed me by the elbow to pull me aside while my friends went to jump in line. "Don't go running off," he said seriously. "Stay where I can see you."

"You sound like a helicopter parent." I waved my hand dismissively. "No one even knows I exist, Natsume. Not anymore. My dad and the rest of his team hunted down every single member of the Organization."

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. All those months of him being strictly business meant that those small gestures still made me weak in the knees. "I know you exist."

I grinned. "Which is great, because this would be awkward if you didn't. Stop worrying, okay? I'm here to have fun and I don't want anything to dampen my mood."

"Okay."

I glanced over my shoulder, but Sumire had already disappeared down the stairs where the line was. Quickly, like it was some big secret, I stood up on the tips of my toes and pressed my lips to his. It was quick, but I'd spent so many hours trying to figure out my alices that the short kisses were harmless to both of us.

"Don't be too paranoid," I told him, taking a few steps back. "Because if you do that thing where you pull your gun like you did on New Years when that guy in our class accidentally stumbled into the wrong room, I'm going to have to take my pants off right here and now."

"That's not a bad idea."

I winked at him. "Maybe later." Before he could respond, I spun on my heel and darted down the stairs.

We rode every ride in that amusement park, and even though I threw up the cotton candy I had devoured for lunch, I felt, for the first time in what seemed like forever, that the giant weight had finally, _finally_ rolled off my shoulders.

* * *

A/N: I did not intend to leave you guys with that last cliffhanger as long as I did, I just got so busy this past weekend and never got around to posting this last chapter! I'm such a sucker for happy endings so you guys totally didn't have anything to worry about.

This has been so fun for me to write and to post for your reading pleasure. I appreciate every one of you that took the time to read and follow this story and especially appreciate all the reviews. While I know some of you are sad that this story is ending, you now have access to the whole thing and you can read it over as many times as you want!

This will be my last story on FFN. I never intended to come back in the first place (I can't believe it's been 6 years since _Before You Hit the Ground_ ) but I'm happy that I did. I'm also really flattered by the few of you that also do not visit FFN anymore but came back to read this story!

Stay tuned for the epilogue, which hopefully will appear in a few days!


	20. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. Also, I am not American but I used elements of American political drama for the purpose of this epilogue. Also, I am pretty clueless when it comes to politics so excuse me if that fact is glaringly obvious.

* * *

 _I will never stop trying  
_ _I will never stop watching as you leave  
_ _I will never stop losing my breath  
_ _Every time I see you looking back at me_

 _-_ Never Stop  
Safetysuit

 **SIX YEARS LATER**

"Checkmate."

"That's not checkmate. It can't be."

"Sorry, sweetie. It's checkmate." My dad was grinning at me, leading me to believe that he wasn't sorry at all. "If you move your king here, my queen will get him. If you move him there, my rook will get him. And if you-"

I groaned in exasperation and slammed my forehead on the table, sending the chess pieces scattering. "I thought I had you that time."

"It's a game of strategy, honey. You make your moves too fast."

He was right, of course. While he took five minutes to decide on one move, I made mine in less than a minute and then spent five minutes tapping my foot anxiously, waiting for him to make a move. I also whined about it the whole time, about how slow he was and how I couldn't handle the pressure. Which, ultimately, was probably why I kept losing.

"If we played timed chess, I would win," I decided. "One minute per move. Let's do it. Right now." I started putting the pieces back on the board.

"Mikan, you've got to go get ready," dad reminded me gently.

I sighed. "I know, I know. Can you drive me to Sumire's? She said she has an outfit I can borrow."

It was Saturday afternoon. Dad and I always met on Saturday afternoons for a day of chess—which I always lost at—and snacks and coffee. With him still working for the government, and me being kept busy as the HR manager for Hotaru's technology firm, it was the only time we could cut out for each other.

After graduation, Mr. Narumi had suggested that my dad and I visit his office once a week for a therapy session to help rebuild our relationship. I had resisted the idea for three months before Natsume finally stuck me in the car and started driving, ignoring my threats that I was going to jump out of the moving vehicle.

Therapy had helped, just as it had helped me with my anxiety and PTSD. Dad and I both accepted the fact that our relationship would never be exactly as it had been before, because the betrayal I had experienced had cut me too deep, but we managed to get it pretty close.

"Of course," he said.

It was early December, so the ground outside was covered in a layer of crisp, white powder that was still falling from the sky. The air was cold, biting at my cheeks and the exposed skin on my neck.

Dad's car took forever to warm up. You'd think with him being the head of the president's security team that they would bless him with an updated model that would actually heat up before reaching the destination, but apparently not.

"You nervous?" he asked me as we drove.

"No," I lied. I had done it many times before, but that didn't stop the nerves from twisting my stomach. Every situation was different.

Dad saw right through me. "You have an army of support behind you. We will be standing by. If, at any time, you feel like your safety is compromised-"

"Dad," I interrupted. "I know. I'll be fine."

"You don't have to do these things if you don't want to," he reminded me, like he hoped I would jump on the opportunity and bow out. He always did this.

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Yeah, but with the money I'm going to make from this job, I can buy you a new car that will actually warm up before we get there."

He shot me a look. "You have no obligation-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's for the sake of national security." I returned his pointed look, reminding him that he had once defended himself with the very same excuse.

The car rolled to a stop in front of an apartment building. I tightened my scarf around my neck, kissed my dad on the cheek, and climbed out of the car.

"Remember, I will be right inside that building with you," he assured me. "Anything, _anything_ goes wrong-"

"You'll be the first person I call. See you later, dad."

Sumire's apartment would be a disaster of clothes and dishes and magazines and everything else. I was picturing it as I was walking down the hallway. Sumire herself would be running around like a chicken with her head cut off, trying to put together the perfect outfit.

Sure enough, when I knocked on the door and she pulled it open, her hair was a disheveled mess on top of her head, she was in pyjamas, and she was out of breath. She kicked a magazine out of the way and gave me a onceover before smiling and pulling me into her arms.

"Come in, come in. Sorry for the mess. I'm leaving in a couple of days for a shoot and I can't decide what to pack. Can you come over tomorrow and help me? If you don't die tonight, of course."

I glared at her. "Thanks for reassuring me, Sumire."

She laughed. "You know I'm kidding, Mik. You'll kill it, as always. Have you heard from Natsume at all?"

Any good humour in me vanished and the knot in my stomach tightened. My prolonged silence earned a concerned glance from Sumire, and I forced a smile. "No. Nothing."

Her eyebrows pulled together. "No news is good news."

"I know."

Natsume had been away for nearly three months on an assignment in Russia. I didn't know the details, only that involved the Russian government. It had been six weeks since the last time I'd heard from him.

I didn't work for the government, like my dad and Natsume did. I'd done by business degree with a major in human resources and had been hired to run Hotaru's HR department right out of school. I thought that was awfully risky of her, since I had no experience, but she provided me with coaching when I needed it and for the last year, it had been the perfect job. And she paid well, too. And her benefits package was alluring.

Sometimes, however, I would get a call from the Department of Defense asking me to participate in a short job that required one or both of my alices for a pretty price. If the job could be done without interfering with my actual job, I would usually accept.

Tonight's job involved a politician's daughter. It was suspected that this politician's daughter knew some sensitive information regarding interference with our most recent election. While she'd already been questioned by the FBI and had sworn up and down that she knew nothing about election tampering, my dad's team suspected that she'd been subject to a memory-altering alice. The hope was that I'd be able to coerce a confession out of her by using my nullification alice to unscramble her memories, and it had to be done quietly and in the vicinity of this big party because the FBI had already gotten in a lot of trouble for detaining her in the first place.

"I have a couple of outfits picked out for you," Sumire said, opening her huge, walk-in closet. "I need them back before tomorrow, though. And please don't get any blood on them."

"I saw you on the cover of Cosmo," I said, clearing a spot on her bed of clothes and shoes and sitting down. "You're the best cover model I've ever seen."

She poked her head out of the closet. "Really? I thought my hair looked kind of…meh."

"Your hair looked fab. I like it when it's straight."

"Are you saying you don't like it when it's permed?"

"I'm saying it looks great both ways but the straight hair was a nice change."

"Okay." She disappeared back into the closet. Two dresses and a pair of shoes came flying out. I tried to dodge them, but she had nailed me in the arm with one of the shoes and managed to cover me in both of the dresses.

I picked up the offending high heel and glared in her direction. "How's Koko?"

She reappeared so quickly that it almost appeared to be magic. "What are you talking about?" she demanded.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please. He's out travelling the world, you're always travelling for photoshoots. Don't try to tell me you guys don't hook up occasionally and screw."

She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to come across as offended. "The fact that you think _I_ would do that is just…hurtful."

"So you and Koko were both in Paris last week and you didn't meet up?"

"I'm not saying we didn't meet up."

"Oh, so you didn't hook up?"

She pursed her lips, but she couldn't hide the blush creeping up her neck. "He's good. Rugged. He's got a beard thing going on. It's kind of hot." She motioned to the dresses in my arms. "Which one do you think?"

They were both long gowns. One was bright red and strapless and beautiful, but it was the second one that caught my attention.

The second one she'd thrown at me was satin, soft in my hands, and a dusty rose colour. It had a plunging neckline and straps, which was my favorite part because who the hell actually _liked_ wearing strapless dresses. It dropped low in the back, cinched around the zipper for the illusion of a smaller waist, and it had a long slit up the side, which would prove practical if I needed to run away.

"This one," I decided.

"But you haven't even tried them on."

"I'll like this one better."

"Well, hurry up and try it on."

I bounded into her closet and pulled off my clothes in the privacy. It definitely wasn't the type of dress one would wear a bra with. Or really any undergarments, because the material was so clingy that the lines of my thong would probably be visible too. I guess commando it was.

But I knew as soon as the dress slid over my skin that it was the one.

Sumire agreed with an appreciative eyebrow-raise when I came out of the closet with it on. "Now we just need to do something with your hair."

As if on cue, the front door burst open and a voice was calling, "Sorry I'm late!" When Anna appeared in Sumire's room, her nose was already wrinkled in disgust. "Seriously, Sumire. You need a house cleaner."

I zeroed in on the drink tray in her hand. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Anna's own special blend coffee, from my shop!" She handed the tray to me. "I also brought homemade donuts." She scanned me from head to toe. "That dress was _made_ for you. Now let's do something with that hair."

A couple of hours later, I was dressed, made up, and my hair was done up in a loose bun at the nape of my neck with strands of curls falling around my face. Sumire had stuck some dangly diamond earrings on me, but had elected not to go with a necklace because she didn't want to draw any attention away from my neckline.

Anna clapped her hands together excitedly and pulled out her phone. "Let me get a picture."

"Anna," I groaned. "No."

"C'mon. You look so good. I want to look at this any time I need motivation to hit the gym and am tired of looking at Sumire's abs on the cover of Sports Illustrated." She looked so hopeful, like a mom who wanted a nice picture of her daughter before prom, so I finally relented and posed for a picture.

Sumire glanced at her watch. "You've got to be there in, like, half an hour. Shoes, shoes, shoes."

I resisted the strappy silver high heels she tossed at me, citing the reason that if I needed to run, I would not be going very fast, but she insisted they would complete the look and that everyone else would be wearing heels so I needed to, too.

We were halfway out the door when I remembered it was the middle of winter and I was not dressed appropriately for snow. Sumire disappeared back inside and returned with a white fur coat and threw it over my shoulders before ushering me down the stairs. I'd have to invade her closet more often.

Anna drove us to the venue, which was a giant hall that looked like a castle. There was valet parking, but she drove the car around the back of the building and down a couple side streets upon my direction before stopping next to a utility van.

"You've got this," Sumire said from the backseat, squeezing my shoulder. "Don't fuck up and die."

Anna swatted her hand away from me with a viscious glare. "Would you stop that? She's already looking kind of pale. Mik, you're a natural at this. And think of the payday."

"I know." I smiled at both of them, hugged both of them, thanked both of them, and promised to fill them in on details the following morning. Then I climbed out of the car into the snowy night, cursing the strappy heels when my toes touched snow.

There were three people inside the utility van. Two of them I knew from previous assignments, and one was Gary. Gary was dressed in a tux with a corsage, and grabbed me by the face to kiss both my cheeks when I climbed inside.

"Looking good, sweetheart," he said. "You ready for this?"

I exhaled a puff of breath. "I think so."

He glanced at the other two men, who were busy with the computers in the back of the van, and reached into the inside of his jacket and pulled out a flask. "How 'bout a drink?"

I considered, and then relented. We each did a shot from the bottle and then the other two guys got to work wiring us. They were using Hotaru's technology, which was a virtually undetectable listening device. It was clear, and smaller than a gemstone. Small enough, in fact, that they were able to attach one to the backside of each of my earrings.

"They'll be recording the whole night," the man who attached them said. "The goal of this evening is to get a confession without coercion. Lydia Samsonova is close to your age. Unscramble her memories, and then engage her in conversation."

"Got it, boss," I said. "My dad will be in there, right?"

"He'll be standing watch over the president," Gary said. "I'm your backup. You're my daughter, and I am a friend of the president's. What's your name, sweetie?"

"Isabel Duncan. You're my father, Ollie."

"Excellent. Shall we?"

I took the arm that he offered and we stepped out of the van. We walked the short way to the entrance, where we were greeted by an official with a guest list. He checked our names off after checking our IDs, and then ushered us in. I handed my jacket to a kind lady, and Gary took a moment to scan me fondly.

"You are a beautiful young lady."

"Stop it, you're making me blush."

The party was filled with people already, and more were still filtering in after us. I was relieved to see that I didn't stand out in any way, as everyone was dressed formally and most of them women actually had dresses far more extravagant than mine.

The building itself was huge, like a giant ballroom only a thousand times more amazing in terms of architecture and décor. There was a grand staircase on the far end of the room, like the kind you'd find in a castle, and a giant Christmas tree perched at the bottom of the stairs to the side. There were two bars on each end of the room, long counters with an abundance of liquor behind them. Somehow I doubted I would even know any of the liquor by name, because it was probably all the good stuff. Luckily it was an open bar so I didn't have to worry about paying $30 for a drink.

"Do you see her?" I muttered to Gary under my breath as we strolled, in no particular hurry, through the crowd.

"No, but she'll be here. You know what her father looks like, right?"

"Yes."

"Let's split up. Try to act natural. Maybe go grab a drink from the bar."

I liked that idea. We parted ways, and I slid through the crowd. A couple people stopped to compliment me, which I graciously thanked them for. Two gentleman asked me to dance, but I told them that I was in search of a friend and a drink before I danced. I promised to catch up with them later.

The bar wasn't busy, so I was able to flag down a bartender almost immediately. I asked for a dry martini because that's what I had seen classy people order on TV, even though I was certain I wasn't going to like it. I definitely didn't like olives.

The bartender handed me my glass and I turned slowly around to scan the room. I couldn't decide if I had bad timing or good timing, because as soon as I turned, I spotted the couple descending the grand staircase. I'd been in the midst of taking a drink of my martini, and it was all I could do not to spit it all over the place and succumb to a coughing fit. Instead, I choked, turned back to the bar, and tried to breathe around the vodka in my throat.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" the bartender asked, brows furrowed.

"Yes," I croaked. "She's really beautiful. The girl on the stairs. Do you know who she is?"

The bartender looked past me to the stairs, a look of wonder coming over him. "Ah, yes. That is Lydia Samsonova, daughter of Isaac Samsonova."

Of course it was. "And who's that with her?"

"I believe that is her fiancé."

My heart stopped, and then fell to my toes, and then lurched back into my throat. I smiled as normally as I could at the bartender before he departed to take care of another guest, and I got to work counting backwards in my head from 100 to calm myself down.

 _Thanks for the heads-up, dad,_ I thought bitterly to myself. _And Gary. And the Secretary of Defense. This was totally not something I should have known ahead of time._

I didn't know what name he was going by, but the person attached to Lydia Samsonova was without a doubt Natsume Hyuga. Who, last I had checked, was my boyfriend. Who I hadn't seen in three months. Who I hadn't heard from in six weeks. I guess now I knew why.

 _Fiancé?_ Man, I was so out of the loop. And now I had vodka in my lungs.

I took another sip of the martini, hoping it would help to calm my stomach. Which I knew it wouldn't. How the hell was I supposed to do my job now? With _him_ right there? When I had about three thousand questions as to what he'd been up to over the last few months?

 _Just do the job and get the heck out of here,_ I told myself. _And go home and cry. Because that girl is fricken gorgeous._

I took a deep breath and turned back to the ballroom.

Lydia and Natsume were stopped talking to a group of people who were fawning over them. With another twist of my stomach, I saw her showing off a ring on her finger. Her ring finger. Her I'm-getting-married-soon finger.

At least the paycheque I'd get from this job would be enough to get me out of the country for awhile to nurse my wounds. Maybe I could get Anna and Sumire to come on a beach vacation. And maybe Hotaru, but probably not because she was not only married to Ruka but also to her job. What a weird way this was to be dumped.

Natsume placed his hand on Lydia's lower back— _really_ lower back—and guided her away from the crowd, whispering something in her ear. She giggled, and while I was still trying not to fume, I made my move.

"Excuse me," I said, loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to draw too much attention. When Lydia and Natsume turned to me, I kept my gaze anchored firmly to Lydia's face. "I just wanted to let you know that your dress is amazing. Where did you get it?"

Lydia was tall, thin, and had a face that literally looked like it had been carved by angels. Her hair was done up sort of similarly to mine, but where my hair was just plain brown, her was a beautiful auburn colour with well-taken-care-of highlights. She was wearing a silver, sparkly strapless gown that drooped low in the back like mine did, meaning Natsume's hand was touching her skin. I tried to console myself by telling myself that she was probably super uncomfortable in that strapless dress.

Lydia smiled, displaying two rows of perfectly straight, pearly white teeth. The worst part was that it was a genuine smile. "Thank you," she said with a slight Russian accent. "I found it at a boutique in Paris." She looked up at Natsume with stars in her eyes. "We were there for a weekend away. It's just been so dreadfully stressful with this election nightmare."

I followed her gaze up to meet Natsume's eyes. He was remaining carefully composed, but I could tell that he wasn't happy to see me. He didn't like when I took these jobs, but he hadn't been around to stop me this time. Because apparently he'd been in bed with _Lydia._

He looked as good as she did, like they were made for each other. He wore a tux that fit him so perfectly that I knew every woman in this room would be looking at him. But the corsage he wore that matched the silvery colour of Lydia's dress reminded me that he belonged to someone else at the moment.

"And who is this?" I asked.

Lydia sunk into him, pressing her hand to his chest. "This is Felix," she gushed. "We're recently engaged." Even though I didn't ask, she thrust her hand out to me.

I pretended to be interested in the ring. Or maybe I wasn't pretending, because I wanted to take a good look at the rock Natsume had bought for another woman. It was huge. And it sparkled. It sparkled a lot.

"That's beautiful," I said to her. "How did he ask?"

I figured now was probably my chance, so while she was gushing over how Natsume— _Felix_ —had asked her to marry her under the moonlight in the gardens of her father's house a little over six weeks ago, I channelled my growing anger into my nullification alice. I'd mastered it over the years, and I could isolate my alices as well as use them based on my own free will rather than as a consequence of my emotions.

Before I could extend my alice to her, though, Natsume spotted something behind her. He angled Lydia away from me just as an older man came up behind her. The man grabbed her by her face, kissed her cheeks, and said something in Russian with a sparkle in his eyes that told me that was her father.

"Father, I'm so happy to see you," she said in an angelic tone. "Come. I must show you something."

Lydia cast an apologetic glance at me, and then stood up on her toes to kiss Natsume _right on the lips_ before she followed her father away, leaving Natsume and I staring after her in awkward silence.

After a moment, I glanced up at him. He turned back to look at me. He didn't say anything, so I said, "Well, I'm going to need another drink," before turning on my heel and forcing myself to walk gracefully through the crowd.

The bartender had another martini ready for me before I even asked for it. I stayed at the bar this time, trying to think of a new way to approach this.

Obviously Natsume's assignment had to do with the same thing mine did. But _obviously_ his was a little more extensive.

"What are you doing here?" His voice, alarmingly close behind me, made me jump in surprise.

I looked casually over at him as he came to a stop beside me and leaned easily against the bar. He ordered a scotch on the rocks and then turned that piercing gaze back down to me, waiting for an answer.

"I'm not going to answer that," I decided haughtily. "You don't deserve an answer."

"You're mad."

"You _think_ , you asshole?" I whispered. My words were malicious, but I kept my expression pleasant as to avoid suspicion. There was no reason that Isabel Duncan should be arguing with Lydia's fiancé. "I haven't heard from you in weeks. And according to Lydia, you've been together the entire time you've been gone."

"It was the assignment," he said logically.

"Doesn't matter, you dickbutt. Together three months? Don't try to tell me you didn't sleep with her."

Instead of answering, he turned the questions on me. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting a confession to her father's tampering with the election."

"That's my assignment."

"Well _apparently_ you got in a little too deep and are obviously not doing your job."

"You're here because they think they need you to unscramble her memories."

"Duh."

"Her father is a dangerous man, Legs."

I couldn't help the glare this time. "Don't patronize me, Natsume. I've done my fair share of these jobs. I can handle it. Better than you can."

Frustration passed over his face. "They know who your are. They've heard your name. They've seen your face. If they see you here, they'll know what you're trying to do. Her father will not hesitate to have you killed."

"Well I'm not Mikan tonight. I'm Isabel. And you're Felix, Lydia's fiancé. And I hate you." I picked up my drink. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a job to do. And I need to find my dad so I can kick his ass. Both dads. The real one and the fake one."

"I haven't slept with her," he said before I walked away.

"Yeah, I don't believe you. You're a horn dog. And she's hot. There's no way you didn't tap that." Without giving him a chance to respond, I walked away.

In order to reaffirm Lydia's location, I accepted an offer to dance from a handsome fellow from London. I also did it because I wanted to shove it in Natsume's face, and he was close enough to see the man's hand slide down my waist until it was on the small of my bare back. I hoped it hurt him.

I found Lydia again after a few twirls with the English gentleman. She was following her father up the grand staircase she and Natsume had come down.

I spotted my father near the staircase as well. He was watching Lydia and her father carefully as well, but he quickly turned his attention back to the president.

The election tampering Lydia's father was accused of hadn't been enough to sway the election. The other candidate, a much more merciless man who had run his campaign on promises of going to war with any country that did not agree with us, had lost by only a hair. He reminded me a lot of Rei, actually, with world domination as the endgame. It was suspected that Russia had been pushing for his win because of his promise to back Russia in their war on a third-world country in which they were trying to gain control of. Russia was hoping for the support of one of the world's largest militaries.

Snuffing out Lydia's father was a priority before the next election. If I could get proof of collusion through Lydia, the other candidate, Dale Garner, would be removed from the presidential race and Russia would hopefully be back to square one with their efforts.

I stopped next to my dad. My real dad, as my fake dad was busy chatting with the president. I didn't know if they were actually friends or if it was all part of the act.

"Thanks for blindsiding me," I muttered.

"I didn't know," he replied honestly. "No one has heard from Natsume since the last time you heard from him. He went underground for a reason. He probably thought it was his best chance at getting to Lydia."

"Getting _into_ Lydia, you mean."

He frowned at me. "That's not-"

"Excuse me, I'm going to find the ladies' room." With one more entirely fake smile, I headed up the stairs in the direction they'd gone.

It kind of looked like my old dorm at Alice Academy at the top of the stairs. It was a long hallway with closed doors the whole way down. And Alice Academy had had an aesthetically pleasing staircase, too.

I couldn't see Lydia or her father, but I figured they couldn't have gone far. I'd feign ignorance and tell them that I was looking to powder my nose if I stumbled into them unexpectedly. But I needed to get close to her again. Five feet was about as far as I'd been able to stretch my alice.

I was just about to check the room to my right when I heard footsteps suddenly very close behind me. A hand reached around me, pushing the door open before I could grab the handle and shoving me inside. My gasp died on my lips when I recognized the familiar warmth of his body.

The room was dark. He'd pushed me inside, and, in the same motion, stepped in behind me and closed the door. Then he'd pinned me to the wall. Normally I would have found that sexy, but not today.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded in a whisper.

"I didn't sleep with her," he insisted, his voice husky in my ear.

"And I don't believe you."

"Mikan, I didn't."

"Okay, but you kissed her. Probably a lot. And just because you didn't sleep with her, doesn't mean you didn't do other things with her. You took a romantic vacation to _Paris,_ for God's sake. You know _I_ want to go to Paris."

"I will take you to Paris. Every weekend for the rest of our lives."

"That's stupid. I'm breaking up with you."

"Legs-"

"As far as I'm concerned, you've spent the last three months cheating on me. You are literally engaged to her. Was I going to get an invite to the wedding? Actually, don't answer that. Let me go instead. I'm going to finish this job and leave you to clean up the mess."

His hand met my waist. It was warm through my borrowed dress. It had been a long time since he'd accidentally burned me, but I was so mad now that I was worried we were in the danger zone. Because I didn't want to die by Sumire's hand if he burned the dress by accident, I forced myself to breathe slowly. And think of words that rhymed.

 _Teeter, seater, greeter, beater, heater…cheater, cheater pumpkin-eater._

"You're thinking of words that rhyme," he guessed, humour in his tone. He knew of my mental exercises that helped to keep my emotions in check.

"Yeah, and I started with 'teeter.' Know what rhymes with that?"

"You don't understand. If you would just let me explain-"

I barked a laugh, trying to shove him away, hating the way my body responded to his hand on my waist. "That's what they all say. I don't want to hear your bullshit-"

"Marry me."

This time, he had effectively silenced me. For about ten seconds, until my brain caught up with my ears. And then I said, "I'm sorry, what?"

He reached his other hand up to brush a stray curl away from my face. His expression was soft, his gaze tender. Sincere. "Mikan Sakura, marry me."

 _Airy, bury, faerie, dairy, Gary, hairy…_

"No," I said once the rhyming had settled me. "We're not even dating anymore because I just broke up with you."

He sighed. His breath fanned over my face. It was warm and sweet and it took me back to cold days we spent tangled up in bed with coffee and books and nothing but blankets. "How's Gimli?"

I tried not to be put-off by the subject change. "Gimli is fine. He doesn't even miss you." That was a lie, of course. Our dog, Gimli the Golden Retriever, had spent a lot more time than usual sulking over the past several weeks. But he was technically _my_ dog, so Natsume didn't need to know that.

Two years ago, Natsume had come home to me lying face down in our bed crying because I'd spent too long watching cute dog videos and I wanted one so bad. Because his job with the government gave him a relative amount of flexibility with hours that made having a pet possible, I'd come home one day to find him sitting on the living room floor playing with a Golden Retriever puppy. I hadn't stopped crying for literally hours.

Gimli had been my Christmas gift, so even though Natsume had purchased him, he was mine. I'd already told Natsume many times that if we ever broke up, Gimli was coming with me.

Natsume leaned into me, pressing his body to every inch of mine. "You are beautiful. This dress is amazing on you."

"You can't compliment your way out of this. Besides, Lydia looks like a goddamn model."

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world." He pressed his lips gently to the base of my jaw, right below my ear. "I miss you."

"I'm sure you do," I grumbled, but my voice held a whole lot less conviction. I struggled to keep my jaw taut, but him kissing it was making it hard. "Now you're cheating on your fiancée. And you're trying to rope me into being the other woman."

"If you would just stay put and let me do my job, you would understand," he muttered, kissing along my chin and up to the other side of my face.

"I have a job, too."

"Your job is based on misinformation."

" _What_ misinformation?"

His hand skimmed down my shoulder, down the side of my torso before he slid it to the exposed skin on my lower back. "A confession is no good unless it comes from Isaac Samsonova himself. I am going to get that confession." His hand slid into my dress. "You're not wearing underwear."

"Does this look like the kind of dress you can wear underwear with?" I meant to sound snarky, but it kind of just came out breathy. He was just too damn hot.

While one hand slid deeper into my dress until he had a handful of my butt, his other hand reached for my leg, finding the slit in the silky material of the dress and tracing the path up towards my hip. "Every man in the building has been eyeing you."

"No they haven't."

"They have. I've watched them." He dropped his mouth to my throat, kissing the spot where he could probably feel my pulse roaring beneath my skin. "I can't wait to come home to you."

"You're not coming home to me," I reminded him, trying to hold onto my resolve. "Because I'm kicking you out."

"Marry me," he said again.

"You're already engaged."

"I won't be after I finish this job."

"I'm not going to marry you while you're engaged to-"

His lips found mine in the dark, and he silenced me. It had been a long three months. I'd dreamt about kissing him again. But somehow my memory never really did the real thing justice. I forgot how to breathe, and when he pulled away, I was dizzy.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. "You can have a little while to think about an answer to that question. An answer that isn't no." And then, before I had a chance to gather myself, he was sliding off of me and out the door. He closed it behind him and I heard a key turn in the lock.

My stomach dropped when I jiggled the doorknob and found it locked. I slammed my hand on the door. "You didn't even _ask_ me anything!" I whisper-shouted through the door.

Ugh. Goddamn old buildings that locked from the outside. I thought about using the recorder in my earrings to call for help, but decided against it. The last thing I wanted was to be shown-up by traitor-Natsume.

I flicked on the light. The room looked like a study, with a big mahogany desk and a fancy leather chair and bookshelves lining the walls. It also, to my delight, had a vent on the ceiling.

I looked down at the dress, and then up at the ceiling. I warred with myself for a second, and then reminded myself that the paycheque I would get for this job would more than cover the cost of the dress.

Using the desk, which was conveniently right below the vent, along with a stack of books to give me an extra few inches, I was able to pry the grate off the front of the vent. It was small, but so was I. It would just take some wiggling.

I abandoned the strappy heels with every intention of returning to get them after I finished this. Then, pretending I was a spy in a movie, I pulled myself up. Because I wasn't a spy and this wasn't a movie—unless it was a comedy—I didn't get up on my first try. It took me probably five solid minutes of struggling before I finally managed to squeeze through the gap and into the vent above. I heard a horrifying rip that confirmed I would be buying Sumire a new dress as well.

I army-crawled through the vent. It was tight and it smelled mildewy and I wasn't even sure if this was going to work but I soldiered on, whispering rhymes to keep the anxiety at bay.

It felt like it took forever, but eventually I heard voices. And then I saw light coming in from another vent. I was sweaty and sticky by now, but I slunk forward a little further and peered through the vent into the room.

It was a bedroom, with a great big bed and really fluffy-looking pillows. I pictured falling from the vent and onto that bed and falling asleep pretending that Natsume did not have a gun pointed at Lydia.

Lydia's face was streaked with tears. Her eye makeup was running, leaving tracks in her face makeup. Suddenly, she wasn't as pretty. Natsume held the gun firmly to her temple. She was on her knees, facing her father, who was staring evenly back at Natsume.

It was only the three of them in the room, not including me. I wondered how Natsume had gotten rid of Isaac's security team.

"I want 50 million," Natsume said calmly. "If you don't get it to me, she dies. You'll watch. And then I'll disappear. You can send the whole world out looking for me and I promise you, they won't find me. But you'll have lost your precious daughter, and you'll have to live with it."

Isaac scowled, and instead of responding, spat at Natsume's feet. Natsume looked irritated, and demonstrated so by pressing the gun a little harder into Lydia's head. She cried out, and I almost cried out with her.

Natsume wouldn't do this, I told myself. There was no way Natsume would shoot her. And for money? What was he doing?

Isaac snickered. "You think I care if you shoot her?"

My jaw dropped. It was like having a front-row seat to a really intense movie. Except that I was a lot more uncomfortable, physically.

Lydia started sobbing. "Daddy, why are you saying this?"

"You dirty thief," Isaac said, and I noticed his Russian accent had disappeared. "Shoot her. I don't care. You're not getting a penny of my money."

"You don't care if I shoot your daughter?" Natsume asked, as if for confirmation. His finger hovered over the trigger.

Isaac snickered. "She's not my daughter. She's just some bitch that doesn't know how to pick a gold-digger out of a crowd."

In the same moment that satisfaction passed over both Natsume and Lydia's faces, I shifted too much of my weight onto the grate. It whined under the pressure, and then gave away. I fell through head-first, but my thighs catching on their way down flipped me over onto my back. I landed with a very loud thump on my back, about a foot and a half away from the really comfy bed.

"Ouch," I moaned, and then sat up.

Lydia was staring at me in shock, but one glance at the man that was supposed to be Isaac Samsonova had realization dawning on her, and she smiled at me.

"Sean Garner, you're under arrest," Natsume was saying, his tone conveying that he had shifted back into all-business. He was arresting the man that was supposed to be Isaac, but his face had changed. I recognized it from the news. This man was Sean Garner, the eldest son of Dale Garner, the candidate who had barely lost the presidential election.

I realized, with a start, that the man must have a shape-shifting alice. Or something like it. And my proximity had made it ineffective. He was just Sean now, not some wealthy Russian politician.

Sean struggled against Natsume. "What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Your mask is gone, Sean."

Sean glimpsed himself in the mirror over the vanity and I watched as the blood visibly drained from his face.

"Don't you think the man's daughter would have realized that the man pretending to be her father wasn't her father?" Lydia said coolly. "I suspected something had happened to my father. You've been posing as him for the last several months, perhaps longer, in order to rally support in the Russian government for interfering with the election here. You tried to get your father elected and tried to incriminate Russia in the process. You are a disgrace of a man."

I rolled over onto my stomach and placed my hands over my head, which was beginning to ache. "This is too much for me."

The door burst open and my dad and Gary, accompanied by several other agents piled in. Someone took Sean from Natsume and led him out of the room.

"How did you figure it out?" dad asked Natsume.

"Lydia came to me as soon as I was dispatched on this assignment. She laid out her suspicions and after some hesitance, I believed her. We feigned a whirlwind romance in order to diffuse any suspicions Sean might've had about my intentions. We were just working on way that we could out him. We wanted to do it here, rather than on Russian soil. Reduce legality issues when it comes to jurisdiction. Legs being here helped. She nullified his alice, which, to my understanding, is why you sent her here."

Dad probably nodded. "Yeah, except we thought that we could get a confession from Lydia."

"I really had no idea about the election interference when you questioned me," she said. "It was your questioning me that got me thinking that maybe something was not quite right." Her footsteps got closer to me. I felt her crouch down beside me and place her hand on my back. "Mikan, right? I can tell from the way he looks at you."

I lifted my head to peek at her. "You just pretended to be engaged?"

"Yes," Lydia assured me with a hesitant smile. "Only in public. Behind closed doors, we only spoke business." Her voice grew quieter. "Natsume is a very attractive man. I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it. But he made it clear from our first encounter that he belonged to someone else."

I groaned and let my forehead drop to the floor. "I think I need an aspirin."

* * *

Natsume and I were picked up from the party in a limo, courtesy of the president. Dad brought me my coat and showed us out the back way so that I didn't have to walk back through that ballroom with my dress ripped and covered in dirt from the vent. Natsume and I didn't speak for the whole walk to the vehicle, and inside the limo we sat on opposite sides. I stared out the window, arms folded over my chest.

We pulled up to our condo past midnight. It was a nice building, relatively new. Definitely on the classier side. We were both paid well enough that we'd been able to afford this place after I'd graduated and Hotaru had given me a job. Our suite was on the fourth floor, and we shared a silent elevator ride up. His eyes never left my face.

Gimli greeted us at the door. To my dismay, he was _way_ more excited to see Natsume.

"I'll take him outside," Natsume offered, to which I just nodded absently and floated into the kitchen and collapsed into one of the chairs at the island.

When they came back in, he came straight into the kitchen. I'd ditched the white fur coat, and sat in my torn dress with my elbow on the counter and my face cradled in the palm of my hand. He went around the other side of the island so that he was across from me.

"You're allowed to be mad," he told me. "But I swear to you, the only time we kissed was when there was someone who needed to be convinced. And it didn't mean anything. Nothing else happened. I thought about you the entire time I was gone."

"Why didn't you call?" I asked.

"I didn't want to risk anything being traced to you. I know that the Garners are a powerful family and I didn't want to risk you getting caught up in the crossfire. That's why I wasn't happy to see you there tonight."

"Well, you should have shared your information with my dad. Then he wouldn't he sent me in there."

"Only Lydia and I knew. I wanted to keep it that way." He walked around the counter and came to a stop behind my chair. His hands slid over my shoulders, massaging the knots he found there gently. "I'm sorry for misleading you. I'm sorry for making you think the worst of me."

I sighed, letting my head roll forward so I could rest my forehead on the cool countertop. "Okay."

He dug his thumbs a little harder into my back, eliciting an involuntary moan from me. "That dress looks even better all torn up."

Of course he would think so. The slit in the side had ripped all the way to my hipbone, which made it glaringly obvious that I wasn't wearing any panties. I'd had to clutch it closed as we'd walked to prevent any flashing. One of the straps was hanging limply from my shoulder, too, and since I wasn't wearing a bra, that left only one strap keeping me from being totally naked.

"I'm still mad at you," I informed him.

He pressed his lips to the base of my neck, where my neck met my shoulder. "I said you're allowed. I deserve it. But I'll keep kissing you until you forgive me."

Gimli licked my hand. I looked down at him, at his big, brown, hopeful eyes that I was certain were saying, "Please forgive dad."

I sighed again and turned in my chair to face him. The chairs at the island were tall, but I still only came up to his chest. He braced his hands on the counter on either side of me and leaned down until his face was closer to mine.

"You owe me a trip to Paris," I said. "And while we're at it, I want to go to the Greek islands. Crete, Santorini, Mykonos. All of them."

He brushed his lips over my cheekbone. "Okay."

"And if you leave for three months again and don't contact me, don't bother coming home, you got it?"

A kiss across my other cheekbone. "I'm never leaving you again. Now will you let me take you to bed? I want to hold you." When I didn't immediately object, he took that as a yes and lifted me easily out of my chair, forcing my legs around his waist and carrying me towards the stairs.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face under his chin, inhaling his tantalizing scent that had undone me from day one. He kept his hands on my bare back, and they didn't stray. He turned on the dim lights in the bedroom and told Gimli to go lay on his dog bed and then placed me down gently on our king-sized bed.

He eased his weight down onto me, our legs hanging off the end of the bed, his eyes boring into mine. "Now that you know what happened, did you change your answer?"

"Answer to what?" I replied cheekily.

"You know what."

"Natsume, you didn't _ask_ me anything in which I should have to provide an answer."

He pressed his forehead to mine, holding my gaze. "Mikan Sakura, will you marry me?"

"Convince me," I whispered.

Three months away from him was too much, and we could both tell by the way my body responded to him as if it were the first time we'd been together, all those years ago, in a dorm room, fuelled by alcohol and the fear of never knowing.

He pulled me to my feet and slid the intact strap of the dress off of my shoulder. Instead of letting it slide off my body on its own, which it would have, he held onto it, pulling it down little by little, following it with kisses down my chest and abdomen and down to my knees before trailing kisses back up to my mouth.

I slowly undid the button on his tux jacket and pushed it off his shoulders and onto the floor before I got to work on the buttons of his shirt. Those were a bit tougher, and to my dismay he was wearing an undershirt under the button-up.

"It's like a fricken Russian doll. You know, like those ones where it's just a doll inside a doll inside a doll?"

"I don't want to talk about Russia," he said, but he was smiling, clearly entertained.

We got rid of his undershirt and his pants and boxers and then the tender loving took a backseat. We tumbled back onto the bed in a mess of arms and legs and skin and we made up for the three months we'd been apart with hungry kisses and urgent touches. We tumbled over the ledge in perfect synchronicity, and came out the other side breathless and satiated.

He slid his arm under me and pulled me into his chest, his embrace tight enough to make it sort of hard to breathe. "Are you convinced?"

"Hmm…I don't know. Not yet. Maybe you should try again?"

He rolled on top of me, squashing me under his weight. "I'll spend all night convincing you. But I can tell you right now that you're not leaving this bed until you say yes." Without warning, he rolled off of me and reached off the bed for something on the floor. When he rolled back over, on his side right next to me, he held a small black box in his hand.

My breath caught in my throat.

He popped the box open. Inside was the perfect ring. It had a very large, round diamond set on a band that was tapered with smaller diamonds halfway down. It was a thousand times better than the one Lydia had been wearing, real or not.

"Does this convince you?" he asked quietly.

I searched for words for a long few seconds before finally saying, "You're getting closer." I took the ring box from him and sat up, holding the blankets over my chest while I stared at the ring. He snatched it back from me and pulled the ring out of its velvet cushion. Then he took my hand and slid it onto my finger.

Of course it would fit perfectly.

"I got it in Paris," he said, pressing his lips to my knuckles. "You love me." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I do," I admitted. "Very much."

"And I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Say yes, Legs."

I pursed my lips, pulling my hand away from him and stretching it in front of me. I decided I liked the way it looked on my hand and laid back down beside him so our noses were almost touching.

"I will marry you," I said. "On one condition."

"Name it."

"Gimli gets to be the ringbearer."

Instead of answering, he rolled on top of me and kissed me until we fell asleep.

End.

* * *

A/N: This is it! The final chapter of Capsize. It turned out a lot longer than I anticipated, but it was so fun to write. Thank you all for your support of this story and for seeing it through to the end! I'm so honored by all the kind words that have been said. I hope this epilogue gives you closure, as it did for me.

Also, I'm surprised only a couple people noticed (or only a couple vocalized that they noticed) the relationship between the title of the first chapter and the title of chapter 19! I was so proud of that little tidbit!

Anyway, I wish you all the best and if I ever get around to publishing anything, you can bet your asses I'll let y'all know :)

Love,  
Ducky-san


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